Damned Deed
by Desenchanter
Summary: He was tasked to impregnate her. She was meant to be a mere vessel. Their duty was not to think twice. He opened her eyes to the real world coated in lies & showed her how fake people can be… Sometimes fairytales don't come true. 1st Place Destined Award.
1. Prologue

**Summary:** AU. He was tasked to impregnate her. She was assigned to be a vessel for the future. Their duty was not to think twice about it. She could do that just fine, but the hot-headed hanyou was never one to care. Was she foolish to believe in fables & prophecies?

**Warning: This is M for multiple reasons, language, violence, sexual content, etc.  
**_A part of the prologue is in First POV, the rest will be in third.  
This will be a Inuyasha/Kagome story (obviously) but their relationship will not instantly form, it's going to progress prehaps some may consider it a slow development. _

_**Winner 1st Place Otherworldly in Destined Awards Final Term**  
Thank you all who made that possible**  
**_

* * *

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**P**_rologue_.°•.

"_Hush, my child," a middle-aged maiden requested in a lull as she brushed dismal tresses of the little ladies bangs out of her face. The sweetest, subtle smiles lifted her lips as she leaned over her daughter's bed, "just for you, honey, and if you promise to go to sleep soon, I'll tell you a bedtime tale."_

"_The one about the princess and solider?" The girl with a pair of big brown shimmery eyes questioned. "Pweaze? Mama?"_

"_Of course, sweetheart," she lightly laughed as she leaned forward to kiss her forehead once she situated beside her to start the story she knew by heart._

"_Once upon a time, a triumphed king threw a grand feast in honor of all the soldiers who lost their lives in a terrible war that had ensnared the whole wide world," she dramatically emphasized each and every word, "and do you know who attended it?"_

"_The beautiful princess!" She chimed while she grasped her sheets to tug them up to her chin._

"_Yes, the _most_ beautiful princess in the entire world was there. A lowly solider who was standing guard that night saw the king's daughter go by, he knew right away he was in love for she was the loveliest lady he had ever laid eyes on. But there was a problem, do you know what it was?"_

"_He was but a simple soldier and she was the king's only daughter," she pouted._

"_That's exactly right," her mother frowned, too, "but one day he managed to catch her where they could have some privacy. He in a desperate but loving declaration he told her he could no longer live without her. The princess was so taken back by the depth of his feeling that she said to the solider: 'If you can wait for one-hundred days and one-hundred nights under my balcony, I shall be yours and only yours.' Do you know what happened next?"_

"_The solider went and waited one day, two days, three days, then ten then twenty then thirty and forty and fifty!"_

"_Yes, sweetheart. Each evening the princess looked out and he never moved! His dedication was moving, since he was always there, come rain, come thunder, or come snow. Birds pecked on his head, bees stung him, but he did not budge. After ninety nights, he had become all dry and pale, almost lifeless."_

"_He cried," she murmured._

"_Mm-hm, tears streamed from his eyes, he could no longer hold them back. he didn't even have the strength to sleep, all his thoughts were of her. And all that time, the princess watched him, in awe. When the ninety-ninth night came…"_

"_The soldier stood up and left," she muttered as her eyes shifted to her pale pink sheets, "mama, I don't understand, why did he leave? Why didn't he stay just one more night?"_

"_That's something you will have to find the meaning to on your own one day," her mother told her with a kiss on the top of her head, "now go to bed."_

"_Mama, that story makes me sad…"_

"_It makes me sad, too," but she smiled for her daughter's sake as she tucked her in tighter, "now, go to bed."_

"_Mama!" She cried out before she could close the door, "I want some light to come in; I don't wanna be stuck in the dark…"_

"_Okay," she nodded, "but you go to bed."_

"_Mama!"_

"_Kagome," she sighed as she turned around again, "what?"_

"_When will papa come home?" She mumbled as her hazels shifted away from the sorrow filled expression that was always sparked by the question._

"_Soon, baby, soon," she whispered._

_But soon never came …_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

When I was a little girl, when I didn't understand the world, when I didn't know why my mother was always so tired, when I didn't get why she had to work so hard, life was simpler, innocent—I fantasize about that time, but I can never get that naiveté back. The closest is the nostalgia I receive from thinking about my cherished childhood.

Back then, I used to dream about the solider staying that last night and how the princess would ran out onto her balcony to beckon him, bestowing him with the kindest words and endless declarations of love. He would be overwhelmed with joy, not able to waste even a moment so he would climb up the beautiful vines I imagined would be conveniently there so he could reach her. When I was very young they would simply embrace and then live happily ever after, when I grew older they would kiss.

I never understood why the solider didn't just stay, not even after the first tragedy of my life was bequeathed on me—news of my father's death. Then the second, my mother's. I was left with my younger brother as my ward, at first I had no idea what to do.

And then a kinder elder miko took me under her charge, my brother, too, and trained me from that day forward. Still, during all that time—trials, tribulations, all of it—I never stopped thinking of the fable my mother told me, never stopped wonder '_why_'?

I was a helpless romantic, even though I was a miko, even though I was told love was not in the stars for me, I couldn't help but imagine I was the princess waiting for my solider to show his dedication to me, his endless love and affections. Each time, I altered the ending, each time my solider never left on the ninety-ninth night.

He stayed, for me, he loved me, he _would_ love me. We'd live happily ever after.

I started to believe them, the lies… everyone told me nothing but _lies_. I wouldn't know the truth if it slapped me in the face. I'm still desperately trying to figure that out.

Everything changed when I was chosen, at first it was _such_ an honor. I felt blessed, everyone told me such.

But then I met him, the man that was charged with the task of impregnating me with the future of our country. He… he changed everything.

Looking back, at all that I endured, all that… happened, I have my answer.

Now, I understand why the solider left at the end of the ninety-ninth night. By the dusk, the princess would never have been his. He knew that because, unlike me, he had a grasp on reality, he knew she could _never _truly keep her promise and that would be just too cruel. His heart would break into a billion fragments; it would have been the death of him. That way, leaving like he did, for the ninety-nine nights, he was living under the illusion that she was there, waiting for _him_. It was a happy delusion, one I know well.

If only I had done as he did… if only I understood as he had.

* * *

**A/N: **Pregnancy will be a big part of this story at the start, if that makes you uncomfortable you won't enjoy this. I've been flirting with this idea for a long time and almost gave up on it when I watched Nuovo Cinema Paradiso (an Italian movie). The fairy-tale Alfredo told Toto is the one I used, slightly tweaked, and it gave me the inspiration to write the prologue and publish this story. I will not update this until mid-may or later, please review and tell me what you think.


	2. Honor Among the Pick

**Helpful hints: **_otouto – little brother/anesan – older sister_ / _obaasan—grandma_

**POV**: I'm experimenting with a writing style in this fanfic. _Italics are first person Kagome, _normal format is third person.

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter 0_**1**: **H**_onor_ **A**_mong the_ **P**_ick_.°•.

{…}

_We were once sweet and innocent, the lot of us. Life was once simple, it was my mistake. I wanted something more, I yearned for adventure and—worse—romance. I could have said no. _

_I should have said no… why didn't I just say no?_

"Otouto," Kagome chimed as she cupped her hands around her mouth so that the sound would emanate further, "dinner!"

"Okay, anesan!" he shouted back as he reluctantly parted ways from his horde of friends to run up the hill to the stairs, that was when he chose a leisurely pace to reach the top where she stood. Together they turned to head back to their small hut beside the grand temple that they tended to, "obaasan, did you or anesan cook today?"

"I did, child," the elder woman replied with a smile as she stood up, a symphony of crackles snapped at the motion as she moved the pot off of the fire and to the ground.

"Good, anesan can't cook," he muttered only to feel a whack upside his head before she went about getting bowls and spoons before she began to serve the soup.

_It was moments like that which I miss the most; Souta was always a pain in my rear but my little otouto all the same. Our constant back and forth bickering, bless obaasan's soul for always putting up with us, for taking us in as if we were family instead of mere orphans._

"Is anesan any good at being a miko, obaasan?" Souta gripped as he began to clean the dishes. "I thought mikos were meant to be nice."

"Oh, cry my a river," Kagome retorted, "you are only mad because I'm making you do the dishes instead of letting you go out to play again."

"Yes, I expect her to become one of the greatest, she is the best I have ever trained," Kaede replied. "She has a great deal of spiritual power, the most I have ever sensed in an individual."

Still, that did not impress Souta so he turned to stick his tongue out at his sister. He had heard it a thousand times, how grand her sister could _become_—not how grand she _was_. They both understood that, she was merely nineteen and continuously training but not yet to perfection—actually, she was nowhere near it.

Meditation and training in hopes to fine tune her spiritual powers and archery were the center of her days. She was rather horrid at the latter, though she kept trying her best to be able to hit her mark. What she was best at was herbal remedies, learning what root cured what, what flower healed what, and so much more. That was why she was revered along the coast where she lived, that was why she traveled all about to spread her helping hand. If anything, that was what Kaede had most to gloat about.

"Anesan!" Souta shouted, "obaasan! There are people here!"

"Coming," Kagome replied while they found their way from the only other room into the living quarters. Right away the younger of the two went blank before she lifted a brow to glimpse over the two stiff soldiers and the rather important appearing man that stood between them—a smug and full of himself aura swirled about. Her confusion only deepened when she caught a glance of Kaede bow deeper than she usually did.

"Kaede-sama," the centeral man replied as he bowed his head.

"Wanatabe-sama," she smiled back as she stood up as straight as she could with her hutched back, "it has been a while."

"Yes, it has," that was when his old gray eyes finally shifted to the young miko, "I have heard many tales of your latest apprentice. Higurashi Kagome, isn't it?"

"Yes," she nodded, with a bow. She was not an ignorant girl, she knew what his wardrobe meant and more importantly what the necklace with a fragmented pink jewel symbolized.

"I am Wanatabe Nobuyuki, it is my pleasure," he assured her with another bow. "I would like a moment of your time, both of yours if you wouldn't mind."

_And that was the start of the end of my simple life._

"This is a very great honor," Kaede awed as her wide old eye, the only functional one she possessed, moved from Kagome to Wanatabe. "I am sure she will accept."

_I remember thinking 'I will?' with shock as I looked to my obaasan. It was just so odd, out of nowhere the guards of Umaku_ _appeared and to top that off one of the leading members of the Seimei council? "We need you," he had said before starting on a spew of all the ways I may be able to help save our world. _

"I… yes," Kagome stuttered with a nod, "yes, of course. I would be honored."

"Good," Wanatabe grinned, "we will leave tomorrow then."

"When will she be back?" Souta inquired, winning everyone's attention. Their eyes shifted to the boy that had been hiding by the door the whole time, "when will my anesan be back?"

"That depends," Wanatabe replied in a soothing voice as he beckoned with a wave of his hand to allow him to walk into the hut. "If your sister is chosen it will be around a year, if you sister is not than it will be only a few months.

His big brown eyes shifted to his sister at that, through all the hardships they shared a bond had been created—one that needn't words. She knew what that look meant, _don't get picked_. To reassure him she smiled, _she had no intention to be._

"I will write you, every day," she promised as she extended an arm for him to walk over and sit beside her so she could drape it over his shoulder.

"You better," he muttered.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"You are certain, Kaede-sama?" Wanatabe inquired as they lingered by the stairs, a safe distance from the hut that the two soldiers stood guard out of as the young miko gathered her few things.

"Yes, Wanatabe-sama," Kaede nodded back, "I have never met anyone with the level of spiritual power she posses."

"You have always produced the greatest mikos," he murmured as his gray eyes flickered down to her.

"I am honored you think so," she replied, "but she is not great, not yet. She has not perfected anything but is very good with her medical skills, she still needs to train, she is but nineteen. By the time she is twenty-two, twenty-three she will be amazing, but it will take a little longer."

"We don't have more time," he countered, "and none of that matters, just what is within her, the power… you are certain it is there?"

"Certain, as sure as I am about anything. There is great power within her."

"And that is all that matters," he muttered as his attention shifted to Kagome as she exited the hut, giving her younger brother one last kiss upon her head. "Do you think she will really accept the task?"

"Yes, I do, if she is the one that the Seimei picks she will accept, who else has been summoned?"

"Aoki Ayame, Kobayashi Sango, Kyototsu Kaugra have all been brought in already, Higurashi Kagome is the last one on the list."

"All very good choices," she acknowledged, "but I still would vote for my girl."

"I will take that under consideration," he assured before he began down the stairs.

"Goodbye, obaasan," Kagome smiled as she hugged her, "I will see you soon."

"I doubt that, child," she whispered back while she gave her a pat on the shoulder, "you should accept once they ask you."

"Obaasan, you put too much faith in my abilities," she countered before she nodded and headed off.

_She didn't really have faith in abilities; I don't blame her for that. I wasn't very good at much yet. She had faith in my powers, what I could pass on to another. And really, in the end, that was all that mattered. Not that I was helpless, not that I was naïve, nothing…_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"So, you are Higurashi Kagome?" A mahogany eyed woman whispered from behind her. It startled Kagome so much that she grasped her chest, gasped, and spun around to stare wide-eyed at the girl that surely had not been on there a moment ago. "Sorry about that, my name is Kobayashi Sango, it's a pleasure, I'm sure."

"Yes," she smiled weakly as she bowed her head slightly, "it is nice to meet you as well."

"You are the last one to be brought here; do you know what this is all about?" She inquired as she walked about her, analyzing every bit of the girl, "I assume from your wardrobe that you are a miko, yes?"

"Yes… and no, I don't really know what this is all about. I mean, I know what they told me—"

"That you will be doing a service to your country, to the world, by coming here. That you can somehow fix the problem that has been eating away at our world," she interrupted with a sigh as she stopped and tucked her arms behind her back, "yes, so vague. My father insisted I come; I really would have passed if I had a choice. I am a taijiya, you know what that is I assume?"

"One that exterminates unruly youkai, those with criminal inclinations," she summarized.

"There are two others here, a wolf youkai by the name of Aoki Ayame, from what I gather she is a princess among their kind and another wind sorceress and youkai by the name of Kyototsu Kagura. I cannot figure what connects the dots…" she sighed as she brushed her brunette bangs out of her face.

"I… see," she muttered, "perhaps they will explain it all to us later?"

"Perhaps," she replied with a shake of her head before she walked off without another word.

_I thought her odd at the time but she had the right attitude about it all, I should have been more like her but I was _excited_. I wanted to be able to somehow by the mystical key to salvation. That seemed so… well, exciting. I yearned for adventure all my life, like in all the fairytales my mother told me before bed, and finally I thought I had found my own. I thought it would be like a fable… silly me._

"This place is amazing," she whispered to herself as she journeyed throw the grand corridors of the castle, giddiness brushed across her face as she looked about at the ancient artwork that hung all about. It was a considerable upgrade from the humble hut she had shared for years and years with her brother and elder teacher. She was a miko, she was meant to be modest and only had meek needs but she couldn't help herself—she was a woman, she had always been bad about hiding that fact. Not that she flaunted it but to dull the desires that brought was always near impossible to her.

She wanted love, she wanted romance, she wanted to feel the magic of the moment and a speeding heart beat from have someone precious so close.

Of course, that was all a mere fantasy… until she ran into him, rather literally at that.

"Oh my," she gasped as she stepped away and covered her mouth to let her hazel gaze lock with a pair of sunlit orbs; lucky for her a handsome face framed those pretty eyes.

"Sorry," he muttered before brushing her off and walking away without another word.

_Not the most romantic first encounter, I'll admit. Nothing memorable, surely something I'd forget. His grunt actually offended me, along with the annoyed look in his eyes like it was fully _my _fault for running into him. I had thought 'what a jerk!' as I carried on my journey throw the hallways. Of course, ridiculous me, I got myself lost. I think I'd always would, it's so very large… so very cold, too._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Please sit," Wanatabe requested as she entered the dimly lit stonewalled room. Her stare shifted all about as she walked in to do just that in front of the table he was at. "I am sure you are curious at what exactly is going on. Let me explain further, if you wish to resign from the pick and reject the prospect we will understand. There will be no forcing any of you to do anything against your will, especially this."

"And," she paused as her hazels finally landed on the well aged man, "what exactly… is _this?"_

"You have noticed, I am certain, the strange things that have been happening in our world lately…?"

"Sir," she coaxed, "you'd have to be more specific, I'm afraid I'm not sure what you are speaking of."

"The rapid illnesses, the strange ailments no one has experienced before, the villages that… just disappear," he elaborated upon; he saw a sign of recognition in her eyes and the nod she gave him. "Yes, you see… we have a solution to that problem. We hope that one of you may be able to assist us with it."

"How so, sir? I would like to, if I could," she promised.

"This will sound odd," he began as he cupped his hands together to set them upon the desk as he leaned forward. "We need to create… a child, an ideal one that can do the task we need it to. All four of you have something unique that we believe would be a fine trait to pass on to the child. We have a pool of males trying to locate the perfect father."

Her eyes widened, her body tensed, and breathe hitched.

They had brought her there… to become a mother? To be impregnated? "O-oh?"

"Strange, I know," he smiled briefly, "but it would be vital. I cannot explain to you why unless you are the one chosen, I hope you understand."

She nodded with the best synthetic smile she could muster up.

"All we would be asking for is you to carry the child to term and give it life. I am sorry to say you wouldn't take part in its development."

That caused his brows to flex together, "is that so…?"

"I understand that might be difficult, it's only natural to have material instincts but it is for the best, besides you are a miko… I also comprehend that this would be going against your training, your choice of life, but it is for the greater good."

_The greater good, he had said, he often said, everyone said. It was for the _greater good_, it all was. That's why it was okay. That's why it was an honor to be picked. That's why it was fine to make sacrifices. That's why… _

"I see," she muttered as she nodded and let her gaze drop, "this all seems… very odd."

"It must, but if you are chosen it will be explained further to you and hopefully enough to your liking. All I am asking you now is if you would be willing to accept the task if you are the one within the pick that is the ideal mother."

"Why ask now, why not before?"

_But I know why, it was to show me all I could have during the pregnancy. The grand castle, the amazing room, the pretty garden, the fine village, the servants and everything else to make a girl feel like royalty, it was a subtle—you know you want this, and can have it jab without a word. It was affective, too._

"Your brother was around, I didn't think you would have wanted him to hear," he had faultlessly lied with a charming smile.

And that was enough, it made sense and she nodded once again.

"So, tell me, Higurashi-san, do you accept?"

She took a breath in then turned her attention up to him, for a moment everything stilled before she nodded, "I accept."

"Good."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Kobayashi-san?" Kagome called out as she skipped down the stairs to catch the attention of the woman with her things gathered, "are you leaving?"

"I am," she replied with a shrug, "did Wanatabe-san talk to you? Tell you what we were meant to do if chosen?"

"Yes," she nodded, "I am assuming you said no."

"I'm a taijiya," she stated, "I'm warrior, not a mother. I have no desire to be lame for a year to produce a child for a task I do not know of, beside, they have others that are willing to. I would have taken it more seriously if I were the only one in the world they could use; I doubt I would be as fitting. Though I am honored they think of me so highly as a taijiya. I am assuming you accepted?"

She shrugged as she let her fingers roam across the stone walls, "I did. I doubt they will pick me, though."

"Perhaps," Sango mused, "but perhaps they will, and if you are truly fine with what they are asking of you I have a great deal of respect for you."

"I'm miko," she reminded her, "I am not meant to know a man's touch so… intimately, and I will never get married and have a family…"

"So this would be your way," she guessed and watched the nod she received as an answer. "That is understandable; he did tell you how you would play no role in the child's life, though, didn't he?"

"Yes," but she simply shrugged again as her eyes met with the others, "but it is for the greater good."

"I have been assigned to take up post as a guard for whoever is chosen, though, so I am just moving to one of the homes outside the castle," she explained. "I will still be around, feel free to come visit. If you are chosen I have a feeling we will get to know each other very well."

"That'd be nice," she smiled.

"I will see you around then, Higurashi-san," Sango nodded before turning around and walking off.

_Sango-chan, she had always known best. Unlike me, she was not naïve to the ways of the world. Unlike me, she was independent and strong. Unlike me, she didn't have her head up in the clouds. I learned to love Sango-chan like a sister; I think she was the best thing to happen to me throughout the whole ordeal. I just didn't know it until it was too late…_

_

* * *

_**A/N**: I'm trying a new writing style for this so hope you don't mind.


	3. Sorry, There's No Room for No

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter 0**2**_: **S**orry,** T**_here's_** N**_o_** R**_oom for _**N**_o_.°•.

{…}

_Once upon a time I was hopeful, gleeful, and loyal—so loyal. In a moment I trusted a person, and why not? When had anyone failed me all my life? My parents, bless their fallen souls, died but that was just life, it has a start and an end. It always does. Sometimes it's just a flicker, sometimes it's a while, and sometimes it seems like forever. _

_No matter what… everything ends._

"You are Higurashi Kagome?" A redhead inquired as she skipped down the stairs to twirl in front of her path.

"That I am," she replied with a smile and a nod, the emerald eyed girl just glanced her up and down before returning the gesture. "How may I help you?"

She just shrugged, "I was just curious about the competition. My name is Aoki Ayame, it's a pleasure I'm sure."

It appeared the girl had issues with staying still; constantly she shook her foot and tail. She was almost certain it was not a nervous tick but her hyperactive appearance. To her it was a bit off-putting but she tried her best to look past it, "I see."

What else was she to say to that? Thank you?

"So why are you doing this?" She inquired while she placed her hands on her hips, "my grandpa asked me to, I think this is all really unromantic. I sorta hope I don't get chosen. I wanna fall in love, not just pop out a kid."

_That, I thought about often, too. I wanted that, so bad but I would have gone through with it all anyway because… I was needed. It seemed so important—well, it was. _

"I see," she repeated with another nod. "I'm doing this because… they asked me. They need me to."

Ayame cocked a brow at her for that, "okay, that's it? Just 'cause they 'need' you?"

She shrugged a single shoulder, "what should my answer be…?"

"Mikos, you are all weird," she murmured before her attention appeared to be caught by something else, the gleam in her eyes caused her to turn to catch a glimpse of the silver haired youkai who Ayame promptly wandered off after without another word.

_What do you get when you add Attention Deficit Disorder to a wolf youkai? If your answer is Aoki Ayame then you would be right. The next candidate I met was cold, cruel, Kyototsu Kagura. I've never met someone who instantly hated me like her. Rude rubies radiated through me the moment I stumbled upon her by _mistake_, I assure you._

"Hmph," she snorted before the wind witch pushed the miko aside, "watch were you are walking, wench."

"I-I'm sorry," she stuttered with a staggered set of steps away and a quick bow of her head. "Are you one of the—?"

"Do not waste my time with chitchat," Kagura snapped as she started off once more on her way.

_I didn't figure out, of course, that it was her until someone told me later. It was a pleasure to learn that I wasn't the only one she detested directly. _

The gated off palace that they were in was ever so grand that hours upon hours; sunset to sunrise could be spent searching about. And with little else to do that was exactly how she spent her day, once the moon struck high in the sky she found a lovely concert courtyard with a single tall tree. That handsome, devilishly so, youkai from before stood staring up at it dully until his golden globes glanced to her.

"Hi," she whispered only to have him turn his attention away once more and leave without a word.

_My first thought? Why must everyone be so gosh darn rude at this place? What happened to common courtesy? It had been out the door for ages, I just didn't know it yet…_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Thud, thud, thud pounded wrathfully in her crushing chambers every step she took closer to the ominously grand oak doors.

"You're summoned," seemed so simple but it carried such weight; the moment the words whisked around her mind she felt an instant agonizing sense of anxiety swallow her whole entity. The council of Seimei helped keep order for her world, her _entire_ world. Their powers were regarded across borders, from Emperor to Queens; Presidents to Prime Ministers all received their advice and heeded it.

So to talk to them—_all of them_—one on one was a horribly worrisome encounter.

Then the time finally came, she straightened out her hakama and headed down the hallway to the doors as they opened up only to stand in the middle of the circular high tables. They surely intended to make her feel as if she was to be judged.

"Higurashi Kagome," Wanatabe Nobuyuki, the one who had come to get her personally, greeted her with a grin and a nod. "We are here to consider your qualifications—" but not another word could leave her lips, each fragment of purple jewels that they all wore gleamed bright, bright enough to consume the murky room.

Then it faded and all eyes turned to their necks, each one with an agape expression.

"Please excuse us," Wanatabe sped and before she got a chance to ask what had just happened she was escorted out and the doors shut.

_I could not have been more confused in that moment. What the hell, right? But I felt that each one of the guards was highly standoffish so I exited without another word to the only person that I was on friendly terms with that might have helped me._

"Thank you," Kagome smiled as she was let into a humble home by Sango.

"It's a pleasure to see you once more, Higurashi-san," she replied as she sat back down at the table and nodded to the pot of tea and set of cups.

"Thank you," she repeated as she fetched herself a helping, "I was wondering, how much do you know about the Seimei?"

"Little," a light laugh responded, "very little. I know more of the guards of Umaku, if you'd like."

"Please," an eager girl chimed, "if you don't mind."

"Not at all. They are the ones who guard the Seimei, which is common knowledge of course but what isn't is the fact that their primary goal is not the individual people but their possessions."

"What's that mean?" Kagome inquired with a tilt of her head and a sip of o her green tea.

"They each wear a jewel shard around their necks," Sango explained with a wave of her hand to exemplify her point. "_Those_ are more important than the lives of any Seimei member."

"Really?"

"Really," Sango couldn't help but smile all the brighter, "have you ever heard the tales of the shikon no tama?"

"Sure I have," finally, her usually curve of cherry tinted lips returned. "My father used to tell me that story all the time."

"Here's a well kept secret," Sango said in a sweet hush as she leaned forward, "it's not just a fairytale. The jewel is real, with _real_ power. Everyone is always wondering why the Seimei, some being mere humans, can each live forever without aging the moment they became a member?"

"I hear it's some sort of sorcery."

"That's what they want people to think, the jewels around their neck keep them alive."

"If it is as powerful as the stories go, if the whole jewel can grant anyone's wish then…?"

"Why do they keep it if fragments?" Sango surmised with a slight smirk, "don't you remember the moral of the story?"

"It's been a long time," she murmured.

"Be careful what you wish for, the shards gives power but the complete jewel gives way to greed and no matter what the desire is becomes warped. It eats at someone's imperfections, even the smallest bit. No one can use it without terrible consequences," Sango sighed as she sat back, "the council was created to protect the jewel at first but then it became a bigger thing and now they have influences everywhere."

"How do you know so much?"

"I am from a clan of taijiya but my father was recruited to be a member of the Umaku when I was young. Though he wasn't meant to he told me a few things, I can tell how pretty everything about the Umaku and how they function but the most important thing is this—when they are on a mission, don't do a damn thing."

"I'll keep that in mind," she muttered before questioning, "do you have any idea what's really going on? Why they have us here?"

"I've been asking around, the truth is, Kagome-san—do you mind if I call you that?"

She shook her head.

"Good, our world is collapsing upon itself. That's why villages are disappearing; terrible things will continue to happen. The council of Seimei are now solely interested in finding a way to stop this. You see… if the problems get more out of hand the world as we know it will end, ourselves included."

_The whole wide world ceased then for me, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't even see. My heart probably stopped, even my blood froze. Do you know how horrifying that is? To be told that we all could die? _All_ of us? Don't believe or do, I honestly don't care anymore, but my concern lied with my dear, _dear _otouto. I swore the day our mother died that I would never ever, ever, _ever_ let anything happen to him. _

_That was why I could never considered saying no when the time came. I had to ask._

"And… having a child would fix this how?"

Sango shrugged, "they are certain it will, and they are a wise old council so I trust them. If they are so sure it will work, then it will work."

_I could tell from the hopeful tinge in her tone that she was not so certain and that only made me more freaked out than I already was. Somehow, Sango-chan had become trustworthy to me in no time at all. But then again, I was naïve in so many ways. Too trusting, too goddamn trusting._

_Stupid me but more importantly, I realized the significance of the task. It was not, nor it ever would be just about me. It was about everyone, about my family or what little I had left. I had to make sure there was a world for him, my otuoto, to play in. _

_I stopped caring so much about the romance of it all, it was bigger than me. I knew I would say yes._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

The world was suddenly spinning unstoppably since she strolled back to her cold chamber. Fresh air was needed to cool the cringe she felt so she stepped out onto her porch. It helped a bit but what cured it was the figure of four below in the courtyard that caught her attention. Curiosity caused her to walk all the way forward to take a closer look at them, two were arguing loudly about pointless matters. If her senses were right, and they _almost_ always were, one was a hanyou and the other a full-fledged youkai.

Another raven haired man tried his utmost to play peacemaker between the two while the too handsome to be mortal youkai from before stood aside as if he couldn't have cared less about a damn thing.

A gasp left her lips in a rush the moment she turned around to see Wanatabe standing there, a well practiced smile upon his lips.

"I'm sorry to startle you, you didn't answer your door," he explained before his pretty gaze shifted down to the four. "Interested at who they are?"

"Uh, I suppose," she mumbled back.

"There were four females to be mother, as there are four males to become a father. They all have accepted, by tomorrow morning we should have a decision made. I thought I should tell you that in person, Higurashi-san."

"Thank you," she replied with a nod. "If I'm not picked then I'll be heading home?"

"If," he repeated before he turned, "I wouldn't start packing yet."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"You're chosen," two words could make a girl faint, who would have known?

It seemed reasonable, all apparently expected that since there was someone to catch her as she fell and another fanned her until her eyes fluttered open. They allowed her time to compose herself before the council came together once more; Wanatabe seemed to be the one picked to speak. He was the youngest; perhaps they thought he could relate with her the best?

"You are a remarkably powerful miko, the caliber of such has not been seen in quite some time. I am sure you are wondering what that light business was about yesterday, these are shards from the shikon no tama," he explained as he touched his own, "and have been gradually becoming more tainted as time goes on but you stepped into the room and they are all back to their original colors.

"We believe that is a sign, you are the one met to carry out this task. We have picked the father and we believe the bond between you two would be the strongest, a hanyou and a miko—the child would be a perfect mix. It would live longer than a human; it will be stronger, and mixed with your spiritual powers? It would be perfect, the mix we have been looking for."

"Since I am chosen," she weakly inquired, "will you explain to me how a child will save the world?"

"Yes," another elder one replied, "the child will be tasked with creating a barrier of sorts around the tear that started all of this. Its prayers and power will be invested in just that. We believe that would be enough to stabilize it and cease any further damage, at the moment we have plenty of others tending to the task to slow it down but this child would be able to do what they cannot."

"And do not fret," the only female on the council called out, "we understand you are a miko, we will keep you purity the best we can."

Her brows bent together at that as she tilted her head to the side, "how…?"

"That will be explained later," another chimed in.

_At best, that sounded iffy to me but I agreed—of course. I didn't have much of a choice. It wasn't like I could say 'well, no, thanks' when it was the whole wide world to save. I could go through a while of discomfort for everyone. I could selfish, I could I say no but then I'd be the worst person in the soon-to-be gone world. So, when they told me,_

"It is up to you, we will give you time to decide."

_I said, swiftly_, "no, I don't need it. I will do it."

_Embarrassment was what I felt first and foremost when they took me to the doctor afterwards, to survey me, to make sure I was 'healthy', to figure out when I was most fertile. I had never once shown a man that part of me… at least the doctor was a girl but that didn't make the pain any worse after she said,_

"I'm going to break your hymen now, this might be uncomfortable."

_Oh, yes, it was uncomfortable, alright. I didn't know what to think when I was taken back to my chambers to relax but I knew nothing would be the same even if I spent the night convincing myself that in a year at most I would be back to my family and pretend as if it never happened. _

_As if I never gave birth..._

_Even now I don't know what to think... should I be thankful for what happened? Or should I curse it?_

_If I chose, finally, would the pain go away?_

_Please. Make the pain go away.  
_

* * *

**A/N**: Reviews. They are still **very much **appreciated**.**


	4. Insemination to Confirmation

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter 0_**3**: **I**_nsemination to _**C**_onfirmation_.°•.

{…}

_Why did they break my hymen instead of letting it happen naturally? When the man penetrated me in hopes of impregnating me? I wondered that, too, but I thought I knew the answer. I had heard from the gossiping girls in the village I once called home that after it was broken a girl could only have intercourse once and then she'd have to wait a while or else hurt herself further. I figured they needed us to do it a few times in order to assure that his seed would take and swell my womb up someday._

_That made sense, didn't it?_

_But that was back when I thought the world held some sort of logic to it. Once upon a time someone spoke to me more honest than anyone ever had before or has since, I was told of the importance of the truth, the power of a lie, and sorrow the world was swallowed in._

Every bit of her face was aflame with a fierce ruby to personify the way she felt in that very moment, the absolute embarrassment that ate away at her.

"The insemination ceremony will take place tonight, Higurashi-san, prepare yourself." Wanatabe had told her earlier that day along with, "this is the time of the month in which you are most fertile."

Just hearing that from his lips made her feel ashamed for something she could not control, and then the white gown she had to done on that night with no panties? Nothing to cover herself underneath? It was so… frightening.

She would give herself to someone she did not know… but that wasn't what had her stomach in a knot. What would it be like? Would she enjoy it? Would he be gentle? Would there be true intimacy? Would it be as romantic as she had always hoped even under such circumstances?

Would their eyes meet and stars seem fill the room? Would he be handsome and charming? Would their first kiss cause their chests to pound?

Those silly thoughts were what filled her mind, and why shouldn't they? She was young and innocent, she had always chosen to look on the bright side and wear a joyous attitude even through all the terrible trials she had to endure. Why couldn't she have this one thing?

She would be an incubator to a child she would never know, so why couldn't the start of it be a bit like what she had hoped?

And then she learned what the council meant when they promised to keep her purity the best they could.

"We understand you have taken a vow of chastity as a miko and we do not wish to infringe on that," the only woman on the council told her as she walked her into the room and motioned for her to take the small bed fit for only one. "We will not make you break it. Things will be easier this way, better."

At first she was a bit baffled as she lied down until it all became so clear…

_I would never have the romantic encounter, I would never feel the warmth of a man, I only knew the cold from the doctor's tool and lubrication as he slid it in to fill me with something from a man that I never met._

_Two nights in a row I went through that procedure, multiple times each night. Then there was nothing to do but wait, to discover if I carried the child that would save our world… I don't think I was ever so conflicted. _

Days upon days that led to weeks had gone by and she still paced the room to ponder all the _what ifs_? She had already agreed to go through with it, she had already been through the procedure once but what if she wasn't…? Then could she deny them a second try? Could she turn her back to it all and decide to change her mind?

She wanted to.

The castle ceased to be filled with wonder, the constant guards that followed her stopped being prestigious, and even though it was such a large property it felt far smaller than the room she had at Kaede's hut.

She wanted to go home.

Letter after letter from Souta was her only solace, all his talk of his school, friends, and games were her escape. She could close her eyes and pretend she was home, cooking dinner, doing the dishes, practicing her healing, and screaming at him to come in when it was too late for a little boy to be out and about only to have him return and scoff at her.

Those moments that once were mundane and insignificant became vital.

_A part of me was anxious, a part of me hoped I was with child, another part of me wished I wasn't. All of me was disappointed about how unromantic it was. I didn't even know who the father of _the_ child—never _my_ child—was…_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"We have news," the doctor grinned as his eyes scanned the odd hodgepodge that sat together awaiting the confirmation they all wished for, but they all knew what was to come. He would not hold such curved lips if the news was anything but what they wished to hear—well, what _most_ wished.

"So it took?" Watanabe inquired.

"That it did," he confirmed with a nod as he glanced down to the chart by him.

_I held it together in that moment; I managed a weak smile and nodded to whatever everyone said. I couldn't hear any of it. The world spun about, my head was light but somehow I managed to walk back to my room. Once the door was shut I fell upon my bed, though._

_And tears started to trickle out._

_I decided that I'd just go numb for nine months. That's it. I just had to deal with it. Get past it and go home. It would be alright. It had to be. But…_

She couldn't stay in her room once night fell, a need took her then and she had to get out. It would be impossible for her to get by the guards at her room so she went out on the balcony and glanced around. It just so happened that at least one thing apparently was on her side, the landscaping of the castle. A diamond shaped wooden post scaled up to her balcony so that vines could be weaved through it.

Was it a smart idea? Not really.

Was she going to try it anyway? Yep.

With a quick glance around she grabbed her stone railing and carefully climbed over it before she reached out for the wood covered by greenery. With cautious she scaled down the two stories until she found herself in the stone court yard with only a grand tree in the middle and an old well to the corner.

Her hazels shifted up and down the elder tree as she walked around it before she started towards the square well to glimpse down the seemingly endless darkness.

"What are you doing?" A gruff man inquired, shocking her so deeply she jolted forward and just _almost_ fell down if not for the grasp of her arm and a yank back to collide with a strong chest she just might have.

"Oh my," she gasped as he twirled around, "you scared me."

"Sorry," he halfheartedly muttered.

"Are you a guard?" She murmured as her eyes averted his sunset gaze, for a moment he seemed familiar but that faded like so much more.

"No."

"An official?"

"No."

The council members, guards, and officials were stationed at the castle. If he was not one of them then could he be...?

"May I ask who are you?" She meekly inquired as her eyes fluttered up.

"Inuyasha."

_Such a vague answer, but hey, he's like that. In the most annoying way, it did bother me but only briefly. After all, I had so much more on my mind._

"Okay," she coaxed as she glanced away.

"You're Higurashi Kagome?"

A tinge tightened around her heart before she nodded.

"Should you be out?"

"Are you going to tell on me?" She inquired as she looked up to him.

"I hear it took." It wasn't a question but a rather bold statement that made her instantly blush and her gaze fall to the ground. "I'll take that as a yes."

Then, for a bit, neither spoke.

"You probably don't know, but I'm the father."

Her hazels widened as everything seemingly froze around in for but an instant before shattering. It took so much to get her heart to settle and a step to the side to catch her balance before she turned a cheek to him. For some reason, only one thing came to mind.

The rules. The one thing she so faithfully followed, it made the world go round.

"We're not supposed to talk."

"Is that all you have to say?" He asked with a raised brow and tip of the head.

"We're not supposed to socialize." She repeated before turning and walking away even though almost every part told her not to—told her to look at him, to talk, to see if they could click or if they should have never met.

Yet one part of her instructed her feet to go forward, her mind. And that was what she always listened to, when had her heart every done her any good?

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"You did the right thing," Sango stated simply as she took another sip of her tea and glanced to her door where the guards waited to walk her new found friend back to the castle.

"I know, it's the rules, but isn't it strange that he so blatantly ignored them?" Kagome inquired as she stared down at her barely touched tea. Thank the Kami for Sango, her only solace around the castle itself. If not for she probably would not have kept her sanity.

"Maybe that's just the type of person he is," Sango shrugged, "who knows. Just stay away, Kagome-chan, I think that's the best plan of action. You don't want to get too involved with…"

"I know," she sighed as she looked up, "this is all just… a bit overwhelming right now."

"I'm sure it is," Sango concurred before she reached out to squeeze Kagome's hand and smile, "I'm here. Whenever you need to talk to someone.

_And she was, that was what was so wonderful about her. She would listen to me talk, mostly complain, with an open mind throwing in some advice and comments here and there. Ever so sweet she was, so I always affectionately bid her adieu before going out to greet the guards._

_Then I saw him, it seemed like slow motion as we entered the castle and he was off to the side speaking with the violet eyed man from before. And he saw me, his gaze met mine. I was so sure the world stopped spinning for once. _

_And then it happened, for the very first time in my life my heart throbbed for a handsome face._

_I wanted to fall in love with him so badly, but even more than that I wanted him to fall in love with me. _

* * *

**A/N**: So sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I've been suffering from writers block and a super busy summer. I'd really like to finish this story though so I'm going to put everything else on hold until mid-December and update this as much as I can but in a couple of weeks I'll be going abroad for my fall semester so I don't know how much time I'll have to write. Thank you everyone who has reviewed saying they're still interesting in this story.

Review. They are still **very much **appreciated**.**


	5. Knight of her Nights

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter 0_**4**: **K**_night of _**H**_er _**N**_ights_.°•.

{…}

_Doesn't she know better? Is this really what she should be doing? Or, worse, instead of scolding me you're pitying me. Don't. There is no point in pitying the pitiless. I agreed to what had happened, I could have backed out but I didn't. And what is to come is also all me, I could have done things differently. I could have opened my eyes a little bit more to see the truth that hide behind a charming smile._

_Don't feel sorry for me, there is nothing I'm sicker of than _that. _I got what I deserved in the end. I learned from it. I only have one regret but you don't need to know that yet…_

A week passed by with her turning a cheek every time he flashed her a subtle smile, a week of barely missed glances and constant melting of her heart as if it was nothing more than butter on warm bread. It was pointless, she knew it. They knew nothing of each other. She shouldn't try to learn but he still made her chest thump.

If she wasn't pregnant with his child she wouldn't care for his existence at all, she knew that. And it wasn't really going to be _his_ just as it wasn't going to be _hers_. It was the council's, it was their future's. Never hers, never his. That's why she never caressed her stomach and each time she caught herself wondering if it would be a boy or girl she instantly switched to thoughts of her brother and Kaede, wondering how they were, getting out pen and paper to write a letter to them.

They who'd never know what she was doing there, helping the council was all she told them and neither asked more. They knew better than to ask.

Then one cool evening night she broke down, she simply _had_ to get out so she scaled down the vines to the courtyard. As soon as she got her feet to the ground she felt a tinge of dizziness and nausea as she sat under the gracious grand tree. She wasn't starting to show at all, of course, since she was only six weeks but the awful poorly named morning sickness had started to strike. Who _had_ decided to call it that when it could easily appear at any time of the day?

She was also supposed to be eating for two then but when she could barely drink water and some tea without feeling a need to rush to the bathroom she couldn't imagine eating any of the three whole meals or two snacks she was survived regularly. All specially formulated for a pregnant woman, she was told.

That was when she caught herself, her hands almost slipped down to hold her stomach but she realized it and pulled them away to rest on her legs instead.

_It wouldn't be my child. I just needed to keep reminding myself that. It was only natural I'd feel some sort of attachment to it, but I couldn't let my flimsy heart fall too hard for it. Since shortly after birth I wouldn't see it anymore. It, it, it—never he, never she._

_I had to distract myself, my weary heart, from it… that's why it was so convenient that he showed up more and more._

"Out and about again?" caused her to jump before prying open her eyes to look up at the man that was staring down at her with his hands safely tucked in his pocket.

Her lips parted just barely as her hazels locked with his golden gaze that seemed so enchanting, just barely she got out, "hi."

"Hi," he flashed a grin back before sitting down next to her. "How are you feeling?"

"We really shouldn't be talking," she muttered back as her eyes gazed down to the ground.

"Says who?"

"Everyone."

A shrug of his shoulder was his only reply.

"Why are you even here?" She inquired as she meekly glanced up at him through the corner of her eyes.

"Because they want me to stay until the kids born, in case anything happens and…"

They needed to start over, they both knew but neither wished to say it out loud.

A petit sigh escaped her lips as she glanced away, "we should really not socialize. That's a top rule."

"Why do you think that is?" he inquired as he turned his body towards her, "I don't see any harm. It is my seed after all."

She did, instantly.

"That's a lovely way to put it," she murmured.

"What's the better way?"

"Let's stop talking," she requested.

"Fine," he grunted back as he folded his arms on his chest and rested against the tree with shut eyes. After a few moments of silence she turned just a tad bit to see what he was up to—if she tried to leave would he bother to stop her?

He was rather handsome—but no, she shouldn't think like that.

"How are you feeling?" he asked once more, startling her once more.

"Fine."

"That sounds like a lie," he stated simply as he opened his eyes to meet hers, of course right away she turned her gaze elsewhere. "Why won't you look at me? Is it the ears?"

_No, not at all. I actually wanted to tweak them every time I saw him but I wouldn't. I'd resist the urge until the day I died, at least that's what I told myself._

"No," she coaxed out, "I just like following rules."

"Keh," he scoffed with a wave of his hand, "is there something wrong with wanting to get to know the mother of my unborn child?"

"Let's get something straight, mister," she retorted with a flimsy flare of a glare, "this isn't yours, this isn't mine. You need to get into the proper prospective."

"Fine," he mocked before leaning a tad bit closer to her, "maybe I just think you're pretty and would like to get to know _you_."

_Me. Me, me, me. It had never been about me since my mother died. After that it was about Otouto_ _or Kaede-sama's health. Never me. Especially since I arrived at the castle, so having someone—anyone—say that to me was touching. It only helped that that someone was handsome._

She swallowed back the flattery as she stood up and brushed off her dress, "goodnight, sir."

"It's Inuyasha."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Enjoy," a fine-looking violet eyed man requested with a grin as he sat down a slice of cake in front of her. "It's ginger, hope you like. It's soothing for nausea."

"Thank you," she murmured back. Everything about what was going on was embarrassing, not the least of which was the fact that everyone knew everything about what was happening to her body. Sometimes even before she did, why couldn't she have at least one thing to herself?

Like, perhaps, an attractive amber eyed hanyou?

_No_, she almost smacked herself upside the head for that thought as she shook it out and took a bite.

"Oh my, this is _so_ good," she chimed with a smile, "thank you. You aren't the normal server, am I right?"

"I'm not really a server," he winked as he pressed a single finger to his lips, "don't tell anyone."

"Then… who are you?"

"A guard-in-training," he explained as he stood straight, "and a friend of Inuyasha. The cake is actually courtesy of his thinking."

She almost dropped her utensil as she followed the man's point to see a wave from the golden eyed boy.

And that was it, the last straw. She simply could not take it anymore so she took a soothing breath and sat up to walk over to him, before he could say a word she rose her hand to silence him.

"You really want to get to know me?"

He nodded.

"Then prove it. I don't have time for a passing fancy."

"How do I prove it, then?"

"Wait for a hundred nights under my balcony, out in the courtyard. If upon the hundredth night you are still there then I'll give up. You'll win."

"You'll be pretty pregnant by then, around your twentieth week, huh?"

She simply shrugged a shoulder, "it's your choice. I really don't care."

_Somehow, I managed to keep a steady voice and indifferent expression as I stated that and turned away. I still remember how my heart pounded and hoped so dearly he couldn't hear. I did care, a great deal. I wanted him to be there but in the back of my head I knew the truth._

_No _real_ man would be so devoted as the one it that precious fairytale. And the little voice that wasn't saying that was worrying about if he _was_ like the man in the story… if he'd walk away in the end._

_But then, there he was when I looked out my window that gorgeous night. His arms folded as he leaned against the only tree with his eyes that reflected the power of the sun locked on nothing but me. Just like I always longed for as a child, a man to prove his devotion to me just as the knight did to the princess. I knew he had to see my stun. I also knew that I couldn't let my heart get ahead of itself. It was only the first night. If in two weeks he was still there then I could be in awe of him._

_Only then I would start to wonder _why me?_  
_

* * *

**A/N**: Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews. Glad you're enjoying the story. Please continue to review. I read over it for mistakes but I was pretty distracted at the time so I'll probably come back later to update it for anything I may catch at a later time, too. Please bear with me.

Reviews. They are still **very much **appreciated**.**


	6. Can't or Won't?

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter 0_**5**: **C**_an't or _**W**_on't?_**.** °•.

{…}

_I was beyond enchanted. It was everything I ever wanted coming to life. For thirty nights straight every single time I looked out my window I saw him there, sometimes he was leaning against the tree, sometimes sitting under it, or against the well. Either way, he was _always _there. And it made my heart beat all the quicker each time I saw him staring up at me. _

_Better yet he no longer tried to interact with me during the day, it made everything simpler. Since I wasn't technically breaking any rule, we weren't _really _interacting._

She had reached a little over thirteen weeks, which her personal physician was perfectly pleased about. The chances that she'd carry the child to term were better after then, by the next week he had her on a regular exercise regime.

A bump was visible but at the back of her mind, that was what made her knight's nightly shows of affection all the better. _That_ was what she thought about, whenever her mind slid towards the child growing in her womb she instantly changed it to the man that would be outside her balcony when the sky changed from blue to black.

Night after night she'd hide behind her curtains to watch as the man that became handsomer and handsomer every passing moon until her lids were heavy then she'd smile as she got ready for sleeping. That was what she thought of instead of the way her belly had obviously grown. There was no hiding it any longer.

And, really, she tried her best not to think of it.

_Ever. I tried my best not to think of it _ever. _It, it, it—that's all it was. Not he, not she, not anything. It wasn't mine but… someday he may, he, of course, being Inuyasha. Wasn't he just charming? Just like the solider in the stupid story my mother always told me._

_If only she never told me it._

_Then I didn't have the knowledge I do now. Then I didn't know the moral to that story. That the solider left to keep his heart from breaking into a billion fragments; it would have been the death of him. Idiotic me, I wasn't as smart as him. I couldn't keep my heart from… don't even bother to ask about my life. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

The fortieth night came and he still faithfully showed up even with the frigid nip in the air that was why she was highly advised not to keep her windows open or even slightly parted at night anymore. It would be awful if anything happened to the fifteen week old infant in her bump of a belly.

When she lifted just a finger up to part the curtains just slightly she saw that he was already there and her heart began to thump all the quicker. It warmed her even in the cold—which he must have been, hanyou or no hanyou. Right?

She took a shaky breath before sighing and biting her bottom lip as she let her curtains fall fully closed. He still had fifty-nine nights to go. Then again… he was almost halfway there. That should get him at least a few points, shouldn't it?

So she dimmed the lights and tightened her warm robe, lingering about her door for long enough to make sure the guards were waiting at the end of the hallway like usual and not near her room.

_I never stopped to wonder _why _I need guards around me even when I was inside the castle. Maybe if I did half of the heartache would never have happened. But then again, it wasn't my fault that everyone either simply forget to tell me the truth or could stair my straight in the eye as the lied easily to my face.  
_

Then she cautiously started towards her balcony door, it took two deep breaths before she had the courage to open it up and walk out to the edge. Instantly she noticed his ears perk up and eyes turned to lock with hers.

"You probably shouldn't try to climb down those vines at this point in the pregnancy," he joked lightly.

But a smile didn't arise, instead she took another deep breath of the cold air that coated her throat and inquired, "why do you keep showing up?"

He cocked a brow at that as he stood up from his seat on the well to walk close to her balcony, "Do you not remember telling me to?"

"Yes," she drew out as she narrowed her eyes upon him, "but that doesn't answer my question."

"This is the only way I can get Miss Obey All Rules' attention."

She rolled her eyes at that before she folded her arms tightly under her enlarged breasts before whispering, "are you cold?"

"I'm fine," he assured.

"Oh," she chimed as her gaze turned back to him with a smile, "that's good. That means you don't have to come inside."

"Wait," he retorted as she turned away, "I take that back."

"Too late," was what she should have said but instead she stopped in her steps and bit her bottom lip gently as she glanced back over her shoulder, instead she said, "then come in."

She had expected him to climb the vines but all it took him was a simple jump for him to be right behind her. How she prayed he couldn't hear the way her heart rate skyrocketed. She nodded her head for him to enter her room so wordlessly he did before she shut the door behind him.

Until he finally asked, "How are you feeling?"

"I am really sick of that question," he muttered back while he looked about the room before turning back to her.

"Fine, how's it going then?"

"Great, twenty-five weeks and then it's all over."

"Then what?" he asked as he sat down on the bottom of her bed. "After 'this' is all over what are you going to do?"

"Go back to my old life—my _real _life," she answered as she walked just a fragment closer.

"And what's that?" he inquired as he tapped the bed beside him. Ever so wearily she started towards him as she shrugged and sat down quite a distance away, far more than he had intended.

"I'm a priestess."

"Is that so?"

"That's so."

"This is an… odd situation for a priestess to be in," he surmised with a puzzled expression as he scooted closer to him.

"I'd rather not talk about it," she requested.

_After all, I was rather embarrassed by it all. Sure, the council members and guards all praised me and treated me as if I was the golden goose they had been waiting for but… a large part of me wished I never got in the situation than the part that wished to know the child that I was carrying._

_Does that make me an awful person? Or just human?_

_I like to think it's the latter. Just like it was human of me to have my heart speed up as he scooted just a little closer every once and while as we talked of nothing in particular until our shoulders touched. _

His hand rose up to touch her soft pink cheek to turn her head towards him, "can I call you Kagome?"

"I… I don't think... we don't know each other that well, it would be inappropriate."

"There's a way to fix that," he murmured.

Her eyes almost fluttered shut, "how?"

"We could get to know each other better," he whispered with lips just a breath away from hers. He knew their lips would meet in only a matter of moments, that was until a hand raised up to his shoulder and her face turned away from his.

"I can't… this is very inappropriate, you should go, please," a shaky declaration pleaded.

"Can't?" He paused before standing up and finishing as he went out the balcony door, "or won't?"

_Damn him, how those words haunted me._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Ten terrible nights she ignored him, she pulled away every time she meant to open the curtains to do anything more than peek. Ten terrible nights she tried to erase the words that echoed in her mind every moment day or night—_but wasn't it better than thoughts of the child?_—ten terrible turned into more and more…

Everything about being pregnant at that point was uncomfortable, from an expanding waist to even trying to lie down. That was she tried to focus on, the annoying appointments to make sure everything was going A-OK, the annoying bulge that kept getting bigger, the annoying need to go to the rest room more often, the annoying ache in her heart…

"Kagome-chan?" Sango sang before she waved her hand in front of her friends face, "why so spacey all of a sudden, is there something the matter?"

"No, not at all," Kagome replied once she got to her senses. The now, that was what she ought to be worrying about. Not him, not whatever was inside, not anything but the now… she smiled as she looked to her friend—perhaps her only one in the entire place—who volunteered to go on her daily walks with her, even in the cold of winter. Which so many protested against that she was confined to walk about the massive castle instead of outside. Sometimes, if she was lucky, Sango would allow them to divert from the regular path and walk across the court yard.

That used to make her heart soar high, that day it only made it pang with pain all the more.

"Are you sure?" Sango coaxed with a nudge of her elbow, "you seem very distracted, and have for quite some time."

"Do I?"

"Yes, now _please_ tell me what it is," she pouted, "is it something interesting at least?"

_Every so interested, dear Sango would have loved to hear my tale. I'm fairly certain she would have supported it, encouraged the romance. She was sweet to me like that but… I couldn't risk it. I was too scared that if she found out someone else would and if that someone did then he would have to stop, that I would never see him again. Yes, I tended to over think things just a little too much but in that moment I think I might have told her._

_If the whole court yard hadn't begun to spin, literally for once, and everything faded to black. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Her hazels hovered up and down the wall as she lay on her side in her spacious and soft bed. Since she had nothing better to do she counted whatever imperfection she saw—a bump in the paint job, a notch in the wall, a fragment stretch here and there.

She really did anything she could to ignore the fact that it was night fifty. She tried to keep her mind on Souta, Kaede, her mother, her father—anything—to restrain herself from getting up and looking out the window.

_It didn't matter if he was there, I kept telling myself. In the end he'd only hurt me, right? Like the solider did to the princess in the story? Because back then I was so naïve to think that _she _was the victim in the story. But isn't it always easier to think of the pretty female as the damsel in distress?_

Then something caught her attention completely—the click of her balcony door opening and shutting.

She held her breath and shut her eyes; she knew she should be frightened what if it _wasn't_ him? What if it was the reason that the guards were stationed outside her room?

_What if _he_ was the reason the guards were stationed outside my room?_

"It's me," Inuyasha whispered as he sat down on the edge of her bed behind her, "are you awake?"

Could she simply pretend she wasn't? Could she just keep her eyes closed and breathe steady? Would he go away then?

_But at that time I didn't want him to… I wanted his attention. I wanted his love._

"You shouldn't be in here," she mumbled back.

"I heard you fainted in the courtyard today," he explained as he leaned over to.

"Then you have had to hear why," she stated, "it's nothing to be concerned with."

"Anemia," he nodded as his golden gaze shifted over her still shut eyes, "your physician has it under control?"

"Yes. It won't happen again, I'll be fine. I'm on bed rest for a few days, that's all."

"That sounds boring," he grinned.

"Doctor's recommendation, I should listen to it just like you should leave," she retorted as she opened her eyes to glare up at him. Instantly though she was caught off guard with how close he was to her and her glare melted into awe.

What made her heart stop was when he placed his hand on the baby bulge that she only ever touched to wash. Her breath hitched before their lips finally met. Ever so coyly his hand moved up her stomach to her bosom but the moment that happened she smacked it away and turned her face away, "it's only night fifty."

"Don't you think that's a bit much? To say _only_?"

"It's also," she snapped, "completely against the rule. Please leave."

_I remember being amazed that I was able to keep a steady voice and stern glare while saying that to him when a part of me really wanted him to stay._

He sighed as he stood up and shook his head, "fifty more to go."

* * *

**A/N**: I really appreciate the amazing review turn out for the story. Please, please keep it up. Thank you everyone. I really hope you continue to enjoy the story.


	7. Still Strangers

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter 0_**6**: **S**_till _**S**_trangers_**.** °•.

{…}

_Why? It was a simple question that I admit I should have asked so much more. Why to Watanabe every time he came to check up on me, why to the entire council, why to the guards, and why to _him. _After all it was a little odd, don't you think? That a man would devote so much time to little—well, I wasn't so little anymore—me. I think it was and even back then I did, so at least I can give myself some credit._

_And then finally I found the courage to say it allowed._

"Why?" She questioned with a slight tilt of her head so her waves of ebony could cascade over her shoulder, it was ever so hard to keep her hazels locked on his golden gaze but she managed—it was even worse to try and keep her cheeks free from color.

She had to look determined, she had to stay strong. He couldn't charm his way out of that question. Not that he was charming precisely; there was just something strangely sweet about his gruff behavior and rough voice. It was different, much different, than what she had expected from her knight but he was still quite handsome. In an off sort of way, an imperfect way—and that was what she liked the best about him.

She didn't want perfect, because there was nothing in life that was.

She didn't want flawless, because Kami only knew that she wasn't herself

She didn't want a prince, because she only wanted a simple life as a merry wife.

Inuyasha wasn't the perfect man of her dreams, but she knew that wasn't what she'd get. He was a notch below that, reality. Determined, devoted, and even a bit debonair in his own corky way.

_He was the man that I always imagined marrying, if a priestess could. Which we couldn't, mind you. That happily ever after was just a dream, but the line between reality and the impossible had begun to blur so much that I began to forget where it started and stopped._

_Then again, I didn't really know him then. Not the real him, just his pretty little show._

His oddly dark brow bent up as his eyes scanned her face for any clue of what she was talking about, they hadn't been talking. Just sitting in the quite of her room, enjoying each other's company. He wasn't even trying to push his luck on night sixty; he sat a distance away from her—at the end of the bed while she sat under the covers at the top.

"Why what?"

"Why in the world are you so determined? It doesn't make much sense to me," she started as her fingers began to play with the edge of her sheets. "Why would anyone wait sixty nights like you have for someone you've _never_ met? We had two encounters, very short ones… it doesn't make sense, so please tell me why."

_In the fairytale it made sense to me, she was the most beautiful princess in all the world. I was not unattractive but I wouldn't say my beauty can rival an elegant princess. And, of course, I was really no one. Not someone of high stature, just a priestess._

_Always a priestess, never the princess._

There seemed to be some realization in his eyes at that as he nodded his head and looked away for a moment without a word.

"You're kinda leaving out something huge, don't ya' think?"

Her hazels rose up from the beautiful blue sheets to his stern expressions, "And what's that?"

"You're pregnant with _my_ child," he stated firmly as his eyes turned to lock with hers.

A sigh left her lips as she looked away with twisted brows, "why are you like that?"

"Like what?" he grunted.

"You're disillusioned, to think that _the_ child is _our_ child. Why is that so hard for you to understand it isn't?"

"Why is it so easy for you?"

That stung, worse than anything else he could say. It struck her straight in the heart as she clenched her hands on the sheets and pressed her lips together.

_Why…? Why? _Why_? Because it was all I could do to keep from worrying about what would happen when the child was born. Because it was all I could do to keep sane. Because it was anything but easy for me. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, how could it be easy? I was that child's mother, the one that carried it for forty weeks in my womb. The one who felt kicks… _

"Easy?" She chocked, "easy? What about any of this is easy? It's getting late, you should go."

It was against the rules. Completely and utterly, they weren't supposed to socialize whatsoever—it was rule number one, Watanabe and the other council members had warned her—but whenever it was truly freezing outside she'd always invite him in.

"I'm sorry—" he tried to say only to be cut off with her cluttered words, "you have the easy half of the deal. All you had to do was donate sperm. I have to carry the child._ I _have the connection with the child that _I _have to give up."

"Kagome," he started as he stood up and walked towards her, "I'm sorry, just settle down."

"Oh my," she scoffed with a roll of her eyes as she tugged away the arm he tried to touch—just settle down were the worst words he could say to a girl.

"So that's it, right? That's why you are so determined? Then stop. The agreement from the start was that the child wasn't ours. Why is it so easy for you to ignore all that? To ignore the rules? It's almost like you just don't give a damn about any of it. I don't understand that, how you can disregard it all so easy."

He shrugged a shoulder as he stuffed his hands into his pocket as he stood beside her, "breaking rules are really easy. You should try it every once and a while, maybe you wouldn't be so miserable."

"I _am_ breaking the rules right now," she whispered back harshly.

He sighed with a shake of his head before he sat down on the edge of the bed, "and yet you're still miserable."

That soothed her annoyance enough that she could manage to look at him, "I am… not."

"Liar. You need to relax a little; it helps to stop caring about the rules—"

"You make it sound like that's so easy," she retorted, "rules keep societies safe. Rules are there for a reason. My entire life I've lived by them, you're asking me to change a _fundamental_ part of who I am! It's like asking a fish to breath air instead of water."

"That's a bit extreme," he murmured.

"No, it's not," she stated as she folded her arms around her rounded stomach, "do you just do anything you feel like? Regardless of if it's for the best? Who cares about other people, right? Who cares if the rules are there for safety, right? You're a rebel, I get it. It was charming at first, now you're being insensitive. If everyone in the world was like you, disregarded whatever rules they felt like, then the world would be in utter chaos."

"It's a good thing not everyone's like me then," he snickered back as he stood up to head towards the door.

She opened her mouth to say something, perhaps sorry, perhaps she didn't mean it but then she stopped—because she wasn't sorry.

And she did mean it. Why did he feel her was exempt from the rules? What made _him_ so damn special?

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Maybe I'm miserable," muttered Kagome as she began to brush her hair the next morning, "but I won't be once it's all done."

She'd just put it all behind her and pretend it never happened. She was good at that, barring pain in a hole within her chest—her loss of childhood after her parents' death, the pain from their demise, and the normal life she gave up with her vows as a priestess. She was fine with all that _when she was at home_. That was all she had to do, get home.

And to get home she just had to survive the next twenty weeks. The child was the key to her world's future, to keep it from collapsing on itself. To keep her brother's world safe, to keep Kaede's world safe, to keep millions and millions of people safe, and to keep _her_ world safe but… why did it feel so wrong?

She sat the brush down on the dresser as she took a small breath and raised her hand to her obviously expanded gut. For a moment she let her hand just hover before she let her breath go and closed her hand.

It was the weirdest way at keeping the world safe… but the council had to know better than her, didn't they?

And, of course, they'd never lie to her… right?

_And they didn't, really, they just omitted certain truths. Apparently there's a difference, they're not the only ones that tried to use that excuse when everything came crumbling down._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Night sixty-one and no sight of her so-called knight by the strike of midnight, so their first fight apparently would be their last. Why was it so disappoint that he apparently saw the light from her words?

It was for the better, that's all she had to remind herself over and over again. They were essentially strangers after all, and it was silly to think that they could have been anything more.

Before she gave up and go to bed a shine of silver caught her hazels, then he was there leaning against the grand tree that seemed so out of place in the concrete courtyard. She took a small breath before shutting the curtains and heading to bed. It was, after all, late and she hadn't been getting the right amount of sleep. Her physician was constantly telling her that—along with a horde of other advice.

He could bear one cold night… so she brushed her hair and teeth, rubbed on some lotion and went to bed. It should have been as easy as that but poor Kagome had something many seemed to neglect; a conscious and hers continuously told her that there were flickers of snowflakes outside that would drop on her freezing knight.

But no, she needed her rest. If she let him in she'd be up for a couple of hours. Yet, he was only out there because of her…

But no, he was a selfish jerk, obviously—not giving a damn about the rules like he did, only thinking of what helped _him_. Yet, it was so cold…

But no, it was against the _rules_ and she had been breaking them so often for him, it was wrong—so very wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Yet, he was the father—

—that thought she knew right away should never finish, so she stopped it, shut her eyes tighter and held her breath as if it pretend it never occurred.

Still, she knew that she could never go to sleep if he was out in the cold and she was in her warm room under her brilliant sheets. With utter reluctance she pushed herself up awkwardly and found her way to the balcony.

"I really shouldn't," she muttered as her eyes fell downward, the moment they landed on her growing belly. She pressed her lips together as she opened the door and wrapped the robe she had grabbed tighter around her as she walked far enough out to see him fully. "If you come up tonight, please be quiet, I want to get some sleep for once."

And what was his response?

A lopsided smile as he pushed off the tree to leap up and join her.

* * *

**A/N**: Thank you so much for all the reviews, they're all kind and I really appreciate them. Please, please keep it up. Thank you everyone. I really hope you continue to enjoy the story.


	8. Never Connected

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter 0_**7**: **N**_ever _**C**_onnected_**.** °•.

{…}

_I didn't know, I really didn't know… but once I did it made sense. It hurt like hell but it made sense._

_So much that it hurt even more._

Frayed edges of flimsy paper of a faded image was what captured his sunlight gaze so completely for hours on end, his clawed fingers would so often thumb over the faces as if in hope that he'd feel the softness of the skin instead of the worn surface of the photo.

That rare glimpse of a smile on the sweet face haunted him even when his eyes were locked on it; her long flowing ebony hair was so well kept just like her wrinkle free dainty dress that he had so seldom caught her in.

It was a mystical affect the picture had on him, it warmed him to the core to spark those joyous memories he shared with his gorgeous ghost—but that was all she was now to him, and that's when the ache started to eat away at the warmth.

And when all that was gone, the frigid sting was all that was left…

If not for a thump outside his room he might not have snapped out of his daze then he wouldn't have noticed the sun had long ago set, time for his nightly ritual to start up again.

With a heavy sigh he folded the photo and slid it in his pocket as he found his way back out to the cold courtyard for night seventy, it only made that sting inside worse—the odd feeling that consumed the cold within him all the worse, which he truly hated… If he didn't have to keep going, he probably wouldn't.

The whole situation was bizarre beyond belief.

It took less time than before for the round girl to come out and nod for him to come in, and just like every other night he forced a smile because that was what he was supposed to do and took a breath before leaping up and walking in behind her.

She returned to her warm bed and book, he sat down on a chair beside her dresser a good distance from her.

Every other page she finished on the book that kept her mind away from all that was happening she'd glance up to see the secluded stare that her companion had stuck on nothing but the wall across from him. Time and time again that's all he was doing, usually he would try to at least talk to her but this time… something was off.

"Is there something wrong?" She inquired timidly with a tilt of her head as her hazels washed over him a couple of times, continuously he ignored her or—more likely—he didn't hear.

"Hello?" She chimed.

His brows were slightly bent together, his eyes hard and unblinking, his whole body seemed far tenser than usual—perhaps he simply had a bad day?

"Inuyasha?" Almost always that would get his ears to tweak and eyes to turn to her in shock instantly since she rarely ever called him by his name, it just seemed so personal and they… she wouldn't say they were even truly friends.

_After all, I knew nothing of him then. He was just some charming, devoted stranger. Really, under any other circumstance, shouldn't that have been a red flag right there? Something I would be weary of instead of flattered? _

_I should have._

"Oh," she gasped as her hand snapped up to the left side of her stomach.

"Something wrong?" A dull inquiring Inuyasha questioned as his eyes moved over to her.

"I…" she paused as her eyes skimmed about before meeting his, "in the past I've thought I might have felt a kick, but this time I'm sure."

"Oh?" He replied with a lifted brow as he stood up and walked over to sit beside her and place his hand right above hers, "here?"

"Yeah," she whispered before a smile truly surfaced—perhaps the first real one he had ever seen her wear.

For some reason, he couldn't help but smile back.

But then he had to go and kill the moment, "what if the council is lying to you?"

Confusion struck her at first as her smile instantly faded, her hazels shifted across him a few times before she finally asked, "why do you only say 'you' and not 'us'?"

_What a romantic tale, non? Us being brought together like that, oh how sweet. I don't know… if I would have been better off if I never broke a single rule. Life would be simpler, that's for sure. I was actually living, happy, with a family in a place that felt like home. When I started to disregard them I began to feel a hole in my chest—filled with regret and remorse—that began to suck away at all the joy I once felt._

_When I lived by the rules I was _alive_… ever since I disregarded them for _him_ I've just been surviving._

_It's not the same thing. Not at all. But there are some things I should be grateful for… I know this pain is selfish, I know the pain is what's killing us; I know it's wrong but… it won't go away._

_And I can't open up to you, I don't know if you'll understand. That's my biggest fear, I guess. Maybe. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

He didn't explain it to her before he left which was ever so cruel, since she spent the whole day wondering what he meant, even through her usual doctor's appointment. She barely heard his praising.

"Week twenty-two and already such a strong kick, that's a bit early and a very good sign that the child is just what we need," he grinned ear to ear as he helped her to her feet.

"And what is it that 'we' need again?" She inquired.

"A child that can keep the world from utterly collapsing on itself."

"And how can a child do that again?"

"You know the jewel shards that each member of the council wears?" The doctor asked as he began to walk her out.

"Yes."

"We need a child that's strong enough to control it, to focus its energy on it and keep it from being too tainted, that jewel once put together has the power to keep our world solid. A child of a priestess of your caliber will have the spiritual power needed to keep it from being tainted and to focus its energy; a child of a hanyou will have the strength and determination to do just that. This isn't the first time we've had this conversation, Higurashi-san."

"I know," she smiled, "I just like to be reminded."

He simply nodded as he held the door open for her so that Sango could begin to escort her back to her room. It didn't take more than a mere moment to notice that something was truly off about her friend, she was silent which was odd, her shoulders sagged, but the biggest tell-tale sign was how red her eyes were from crying.

"Sango-chan," she murmured as she placed her hand on her friend's shoulder, "is there something wrong?"

She swallowed before turning to look at her, "it's getting worse. Whatever is wrong is getting _so much_ worse, Kagome-chan."

"What?"

A flow of tears began to fall down her face again as sobs started up, she muffled something behind the hands she placed upon her face that Kagome could not make out, so she stopped them tried her best to soothe her.

Finally she pulled her hands away enough to say, "my home village is gone. Whatever is going wrong, the whole collapsing spaces, is getting so much worse and," she gasped for air as she found support against the closest wall, "now my home's gone… my father… my brother… all my friends. Everything's gone."

"Oh my, Sango-chan," she muttered, "I am so sorry, so, so sorry."

It took another shaky breath before Sango could stand alone, "thank you, Kagome-chan, thank you so much."

"For what?"

"For being stronger than I ever could be, for doing this," she paused as her eyes fell to her friend's growing stomach, "when I could not… this is going to make it stop somehow, isn't it?"

All she could do is nod, "everything… will be alright, Sango-chan."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_I was starting to feel like perhaps I was starting a family with him, with Inuyasha, but then I realized that it's bigger than me, than the baby and _him_. I had to stop being so selfish, I had signed up for this, I had to do this, what if the next village was the one that Otouto was at? Or Kaede-sama? _

_I began to regret the whole 100 night thing I had started… I realized it wasn't a fairytale. I decided I'd make him stop coming. A clean break, that would have been for the best…_

_Maybe? I don't know. I still don't._

She had given Sango the day off and agreed to be a good girl and stay in her room with the guards outside that day instead of forcing her to go on their daily walk through the castle, her friend needed time to grieve. And she needed time to come to terms with what was going on.

That it was bigger than her, that it was about millions and millions.

Not just her and the child, not even about him.

Her biggest fear was still eating away at her, _what if_ the next village was the one she called home? The one where her little brother played around?

The very idea made her feeling as if she was suffocating, so she needed fresh air. With fumbling hands she pulled the curtains aside and almost opened the window before an odd sight caught her eyes.

Inuyasha… climbing out of the well in the courtyard once he started to look around as if to make sure no one was watching she stepped back and let the curtain fall back in place—hoping all the while he didn't see her see him.

What was going on…?

* * *

**A/N**: It's always so hard to write fanfiction because people already have attachment to the characters/couples (even if there is no reason for them to in the story yet)… which creates biases, which isn't helpful.

Thank you so much for all the reviews, they're all kind and I really appreciate them.


	9. A Heart's Deception

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter 0_**9**: **A** **H**_eart's _**D**_eception_**.** °•.

{…}

_I decided I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know _him_, I didn't want to know what _he_ was doing, I didn't _care_. Everything was bigger than the three of us, and I would do the duty I signed up for to protect the real family I had waiting for me at _my_ home._

_The night he came to me after I saw him leave the well I told him not to come anymore, that whatever ridiculous thing we were doing was to stop. He just stared at me with a bent brow as he I returned to my room and locked the door. _

_I would have the child and leave._

_I would go _home_, after all, wasn't that were the heart was?_

Oh, no, no, no she would not go to the window, not out to the balcony to see if he was still there. Let all the forces forbid her from ever looking towards him if they were by chance in the same place inside the castle for even a millisecond. At least, the latter was the truth, she never looked at him, she pretend he did not exist just as she so often pretended that _she_ did not exist, not in the castle, not with child, but replayed the happiest memories she had of an easier time where she'd run after her younger brother in the field trying to get him to bathe, to eat his vegetables, to do anything right.

Then that would remind her how much like a mother she had always been to her brother, and how she would soon become one… one that was never meant to tend to her child.

She'd shake her head of those thoughts and remind herself that she did have a brother that needed her, one that wrote to her often confessing how he had trouble at night sleeping without her being there to sing him a lullaby even though he said he was not a child anymore. How he missed her so, how he feared that she'd never come back. And letters from the one she considered a grandma saying how she sometimes caught Souta silently crying from how much he missed his big sister, but being the stubborn boy he was he'd always say it was just some dirt in his eyes.

It would warm her heart in a way it hadn't since she arrived to hear that, yet make it hurt all the more because, really, she missed him, too.

Still, at night when she had trouble sleeping either from the constant kicking or terrible burn in her chest she'd get up and walk around her room some, always with her eyes to the curtains she kept faithfully closed one nightfall came, trying to tell herself that a peak wouldn't hurt… only a few times did she break her resolve and take just an itty bitty glance out to see he was still there sitting under the grand tree with a look so bored on his face that it almost made her want to invite him in but then she'd remember the teary eyed friend of hers, her only actual friend in the entire place, recant how her village was gone along with her entire family…

And she'd remember it was bigger than her, than him, than any of them.

She'd sacrifice her heart if it meant saving a couple souls.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Week twenty-four faded into week-twenty five, aching heartburn was overshadowed by back pain, warm baths and ice packs were what she grew to love.

It wasn't supposed to be like that, she wasn't supposed to try and will herself to feel detached from the child she was going to have, but she had to because… well, she just did, didn't she?

What really ought not to have mattered to her was at the end of that week night ninety-eight came, a night where he still stood outside. She'd say it was the damn hormones that made tears come to her eyes at the quick sight she took of him with folded arms leaning at the tree, his golden gaze locked on the well not so far away.

It would be a lie if she said she didn't often wonder why he was climbing out of that thing, it would be a lie if she said she didn't think of him often, it would be a lie if she said she didn't love the child they were having.

No, not they, her.

She was the one doing all the work; after all, she was the one in the real pain. He… he… she didn't know what he really wanted, what he was really after, she didn't know anything about him.

_And I didn't, expect that he was the father of my child and that seemed to be enough for my feeble heart that founded over the ideas of fairytales and happily ever afters. All of which don't really exist, the belief in which only makes life seem so dreary, so disappointing. _

_Reality is cruel that way._

Truly, she believed in fairytales still so much that she was certain he wouldn't be there when she looked out the window on the hundredth night. The knight knew he couldn't have the princess, so on the ninety-ninth night he left, she didn't understand that yet, she just knew that her knight couldn't be there because she was no princess and in a fairytale the knight wouldn't wait long enough for a beautifully royal girl, so why would hers?

Still her heart stopped when she saw the silver haired man standing there…

"Will you tell me the truth?" She questioned on the one hundredth night, the one she finally could not deny herself, the one that forced her to go out onto the balcony with her warm robe tightly wrapped herself her sleeping wear.

It seemed she startled him some, since he glanced up to her so quickly with wide eyes until they landed and rested on her, "what?"

"I want the real truth," she demanded, "of why you keep coming. We don't really know each other; you can't possibly actually like _me_ so why do you keep coming?"

"So you don't believe in soul mates?" He countered as he pushed off the tree he rested upon to walk towards the balcony, looking up at the ever so round girl.

She looked away then back to him before stuttering, "you… you can't possibly believe in them. You hardly seem the type."

"As you just said, we don't really know each other, now do we?"

_And that was the truth, something I knew yet couldn't grasp. I was never good at understanding someone's motives when they were murky at best. _

"It's the hundredth night, I'm still here," he reminded, "you said if I came out here for a hundred nights then you'd give up, I'd win."

"I also told you to stop coming," she recalled.

He sighed before he jumped up and landed beside her, startling her enough that she took a step away, "you're annoyingly stubborn, anyone ever tell you that?"

"Oh, and what about _you_?"

"I've been told that all the time," he grinned as he walked into her room without an invitation and took a seat on the edge of her bed until she walked back in and shut the door.

"It's rude to enter a woman's room without first being asked to," she scolded.

"It's rude to make a promise and not keep it," he retorted, "how are you feeling?"

She sighed as she shook her head and took a seat in the place he used to always take beside her dresser, it seemed more dignified then sitting beside him on her bed.

"I forget, you hate that question," he muttered, "how's the baby, then?"

"Two pounds," she replied as she rested her hand on her stomach, "and strong as ever. There's no signs of any more complications, I'm fairly certain everything's going to end well."

"It's week twenty-six, right?"

She nodded, "you've been keeping count?"

"Of course," he scoffed, "he's my son."

"Oh? And what makes you think it's a 'he'?" She questioned as she turned her hazels to meet his golden gaze, the shine of which was almost too much for her to bear for some reason. They were just so… intense, so blinding.

That seemed to stump him for a bit, "look," he grunted as he stood up and walked over to her before kneeling down in front of her, "I want to be part of his life, I want to be part of your life, is that such a bad thing?"

And that was all it took to let the wall she made around her heart crack and crumble apart with her breath hitched her throat and stinging eyes locked with his bright gaze.

"I…" she gasped as she blinked away the tears she swore she wouldn't let fall anymore but it was too much, he had ruined her resolve, he had broken down the barricade she had built up to keep her fantasy separate from reality, the thing that was supposed to keep her selfish desires stored away so she could do what was best for everyone, not just herself… but humans have always been egotistical creatures, and she was no different no matter how hard she tried.

"I want a normal life," she admitted as he took her hands, "with a simple man, in a simple house, and with a child."

He nodded as he stood up some to place his calloused hands on her soft cheeks that streamed salty, scorching tears, "I'd like to think I'm simple."

"You're not," she assured between sobs, "you're complicated and confusing!"

"And you're not?" he countered before whipping away another tear with his thumb, "this is my son… my child, I want to be part of his life. That's all I've wanted for a _really_ long time now."

_And there was sincerity in his voice, in the first time in I knew that he was telling me the truth. Looking back, I think it honestly was… perhaps even the only time._

"Okay," she nodded as she placed her hands on top of his, "okay…"

He placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead then and promised, "I'll be here for the whole way."

"Okay," she repeated softly.

"Do you talk to the kid at all?" he questioned as he helped her to her feet and led her to the bed.

"I try not to," she confessed, "why?"

"Because you're supposed to," he stated as if it were the obvious answer while they sat down together, one arm around her as he let her lean her head upon his shoulder.

"My doctor says I shouldn't," she muttered back.

"If you start to talk to him now, then he'll be able to tell who his parents are when he's born, he'll know your voice," he explained, "you're supposed to start to form a connection with the kid."

"But we're not supposed to keep it…" she closed her eyes as she forced out a different word, "I mean, _him_."

"Yeah, well, I'm supposed to do a lot of shit I never do," he rejoined, "why's our kid got to grow up without parents? Have they ever explained that to you in a way that makes you accept it?"

"No," she murmured, "they haven't but... he's supposed to…"

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, "save the world, but that's a lot to put on a baby, so why can't we stay with him until he's old enough to do what they want him to?"

"We should be able to," she stated as she sat up to look into his eyes, "shouldn't we? Why can't we?"

"Exactly," he grinned, "we should."

"I want to," she admitted, "I really, really do."

_That was the first time I truly smiled at him, the first time I allowed him to kiss my lips, just a simple kiss but a kiss nonetheless… the was the start of him lifting the weight off of my heavy heart that he only worked to deceive. _

_Still, those were some of the happiest days I had in a long, long time… sometimes illusions can be better than the truth._

_Fairytales are sweet and always have a happy ending, reality rarely does._

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been busy. Hope you enjoy and pretty please review? I'll try to make more time if you do!


	10. Shamed or Tamed?

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_0_: _Shamed or Tamed?_**.** °•.

{…}

At the don of the seventh month, week twenty-nine, she felt like she had been pregnant forever, all the discomforts were getting at her. Itchy skin, leg cramps, and achy muscles were taking their toll while fatigue was her constant companion but she was told over and over again by the doctor to remember that the annoyances were only temporary and for the _greater_ good.

At least, that's what all the doctors told her but she liked what her nighttime visitor said each time she complained, "it's temporary, when we meet our son you'll know it's worth it."

That always won a smile from her as she nestled her head into his chest, "I know… Inuyasha?"

"Yes?" He questioned as he stroked her ebony waves.

"I'm worried that people know," she murmured as she started to fiddle with his shirt, "if people know then we'll get—"

"They don't," he assured, "you need to stop being so paranoid or else people will start to wonder what's up."

"It's called hormones," she sighed as she shut her eyes, "I can't help myself."

"I know," he softly stated as he leaned his head upon hers, "you must be tired, go ahead and sleep."

"I can't," she muttered even though sleep begged to take her, "Inuyasha… I was wondering… if we could talk."

"Say whatever you want," he replied with shut eyes.

"A while ago… a _long_ while ago, I saw you coming… coming out of the well," she wearily began before pausing to press her lips together, "why were you doing that?"

"The well in the courtyard?" He asked, he waited for her to nod against his chest, "I probably just dropped something."

_I knew he was lying but my heart told me to ignore it, to pretend like it was just some sort of delusion from the fatigue… I was certain I loved him. At least, I wanted to love him. We were having a child together. I should love him, with time I could… back then I didn't really know him, though._

"On Monday you have a meeting with Wanatabe, right?" asked Inuyasha.

"That's right."

"I can't say anything to him about keeping the kid, he'd wonder if I have seen you when I shouldn't," he explained, "but if _you_, the mother, mentioned it then he'd probably be more sympathetic."

"You mean, us staying with him here?" She questioned as she pulled away to look up to his golden gaze, "do you think he'll really agree to it?"

"Right, that," he nodded, "I think he would. Why not, right?"

_Why not indeed… _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"A bit over two months until the due date, am I right?" Watanabe questioned as he patted her bulging belly.

She smiled simply uncomfortably at that, "yes."

"You are doing a great service to our world," he grinned as he waved for her to sit down and gradually she did. "I just wanted to check up on you, make sure everything was going alright, see if there was anything the council and I could do for you to make your remaining time her more comfortable."

"That's very nice of you, Wanatabe-sama," she replied with her sweet smile, "I was… wondering, I mean… it's only natural that I feel this way, I'm certain… but why can't I stay here after the child is born and be a part of his or hers life? What harm could really come from that?"

"Of course," he nodded, "yes, of course, that's only natural you feel that way now but… the council and I strongly believe that it's better for everything that you return to the way things were and put this all behind you."

"And why is that?"

"Your little brother, for example," he started as he leaned back in his seat, "you are his only family, am I correct? You've been taking care of him ever since your parents died, what would happen to him if you never returned?"

"He… he could come here, too," she supposed.

Once more he nodded, "but how do you think he would feel? Finding out that his older sister, a blessed miko, has a child? Or Kaede-sama for that matter? Of course, I think you are doing the world good, but others… others may think it's strange, considering you don't even know the father. I don't know how well your little brother would adjust to his new environment, either. I imagine he has a great deal of friends back in the village you are from."

_I tried to ignore another feeling throughout my time there but Wanatabe knew just where to strike a blow… he reminded me of the shame I felt about everything. I knew I was doing something for the great good—at least I _thought_ so—but I also knew… it was strange, weird, perhaps even wrong. I was having a child with a stranger… more importantly, I was unmarried and a miko both of which meant I should be having a child._

_I don't know how my otouto would feel about it but pride wouldn't be one of them, same went for obaasan._

"I…" she murmured as her eyes fell to the floor, "I understand…"

"I thought you would," he nodded, "now your friend will take you on your walk or you could simply return to your room, whichever you prefer."

Her friend, perhaps her only friend there, was waiting outside for her with a forced smile on her face. One that was always fake, but always for Kagome's benefit. Not once since the news of her village's disappearance did she ever show a real one, no matter how hard Kagome may have tried to wiggle one out.

"Are you feeling alright today?" Sango would always ask.

"Yes, fine, thank you," she'd always answer, "I think I just want to go back now, take a nap if possible."

"Of course," Sango chimed as she started their stroll through the castle walls, "are you sure you are alright? You look a little pale; did Watanabe-sama say something?"

"No…" she whispered, "no, just tired. I guess I always am lately."

"The burden of being pregnant, I'm told."

"Do you ever want children, Sango-chan?"

That seemed to stump her friend for a moment before she admitted, "I suppose, if I ever meet the right man. Now _that_ is the hard part, sometimes I think there isn't a good man left in our whole world. Most of them are just pigs and perverts."

"I'm sure you would make a splendid mother," Kagome assured.

"You would, too," Sango replied, "if you were ever given the chance… this whole thing must be difficult for you, isn't it?"

"I'll manage," she sighed as Sango opened her door for her, "have a nice day."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Eagerly she waited for gloom to take the sky so that he could finally show up at her balcony, she didn't even bother to lock the door anymore—there were so many guards around, what was the _worst_ thing that could happen after all?

"Do you want to hear what Watanabe-sama said?" She quickly questioned as soon as he got in through the door, it seemed to take him by surprise since it took a few moments for him to say, "sure."

"It's awful," she assured as he walked over to sit on the edge of her bed, "really, awful!"

"Sh," he whispered as he pressed his finger to his lips, "don't shout like that."

"Sorry," she murmured, "he… he said…"

"Kagome," he dragged out, "tell me."

"He said," she started again as she took in a deep breath, "that I… that I have to have the child in front of people. Isn't that awful? So embarrassing… how is that supposed to keep my purity?"

"I heard about that, I'm allowed to come," he nodded, "I thought you might have a problem with that… I don't think I can change the council's mind."

"But why do they need to be there?" she asked, "it's so... awful; they want me to spread my legs and have a child in front of a bunch of people? And they said that the whole process was supposed to keep my purity? But they didn't want me to have sex?"

A grin crossed his lips as he asked, "does it bother you that we never…?"

Her cheeks grew rosy as she looked away and stuttered out a, "no."

"It's so strange how innocent you really are," he smiled as he brushed her hair out of her face.

"Shut up," she grumbled, "its strange how untraditional things are going."

"I'm not insulting you," he promised, "I like it, it reminds me of… well, anyway, did you mention staying to him?"

"He said no," she murmured, "he made an almost compelling case."

One that at least made her hesitate…

"I have an idea," he assured her as he draped an arm over her shoulder, "a plan to fix things."

"And what's that?"

"Just trust me," he requested.

Her eyes met with his for a moment before she lied and said, "I do."

_Though, in my heart I knew I didn't._

* * *

**A/N**: _Reviews will prompt me to update sooner... sorry if this chapter was a bit boring, too._


	11. Bearing of Realities

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_1_: _Bearing of Realities_**.** °•.

{…}

_I knew there was something wrong the entire time, not with the pregnancy since that went along well enough but something with _him_. He wasn't really a charming person but he was always there, always listening to me, always holding me when I was scared, always talking me through things… it was really amazing what he knew about the process, what was normal, what was not, when to do what, I just thought he read a lot of books about it. I just thought he cared that much… It seemed sweet._

_Still, I knew there was something not right, that his eyes never gleamed when he looked at me the way I imagined the knight's did when he saw the princess. I guess a part of me accepted that, that's probably why it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would when the truth came out._

_I wanted to love him, I suppose I just didn't._

"Why do you keep saying that?" Kagome questioned as she readjusted herself on the bed so that it was just slightly more comfortable, in all reality, for a long time she found it hard to be comfy. She felt huge and clumsy, always wobbling and nearly always losing balance. She rubbed her stomach as she leaned towards one side more than the other.

"Are you okay?"

"Stop changing the subject," she snapped, "you have been saying forever that you have a plan but you won't tell me it."

"No need for you to worry about it," he assured.

"I hate answer more than when people ask me if I'm okay," she grumbled.

"You're—"

"If you say anything about more hormones or mood swings I swear," she threatened.

"How about this?" He started as he stood up, "you need to rest, I'll see you tomorrow."

"I am not going to be able to sleep," she muttered, "do you have any idea how many comfortable positions there are for a woman to sleep on when their_ this _pregnant?"

"You're supposed to sleep on your left side because—"

"The answer is none," she gripped, "my stomach is the size of a bolder."

"You look beautiful," he assured as he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, "I mean it."

"You have to say that," she asserted with narrowed hazels, "if you said anything less I'd have a right to hit you."

"Go to sleep," he slowly requested as he cupped her face, "you'll be having the child soon so you'll need your strength."

"I've noticed you say a lot but never actually _say_ anything," she replied softly while he began to walk out, but if he heard it—which she was ever so certain those adorable perceptive ears _did_ catch—he just kept going.

_I started to accept it in that moment, slowly and without realizing it… he didn't love me._

_It made sense, he never said he did._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_You are doing a great service to this world, but they never really told me how. I have a plan, but he never actually said a thing. I hated that, more than anything, but I couldn't change it... until it was too late. Until the truth did no good, until it only hurt.  
_

She wanted a normal life, she wanted a husband and child, and really she thought she deserved both… so if she couldn't have the one growing inside her, the one she spoke to on a nightly bases with the stranger that came through the balcony door then... All her sneaking suspicions couldn't be ignored anymore, she had sat down that day to make a list of things she really knew about him and came to this:

• He was a hanyou  
• His father was an inu-youkai, his mother a mortal  
• He was handsome  
• He liked ramen noodles, a lot  
• His favorite color is red  
• He can jump very high  
• His name is Inuyasha  
• He may or may not have a brother  
• He certain I'm having a boy

And that was it, she hadn't a clue what he did during the day, not an inkling of what he did before all this, no idea what he really wanted in the future so… yes, he was a strange.

And yes, it hurt like hell to admit that her world was just a fleeting fantasy.

Night after night he'd come to see her, but they'd always speak about _her_, the council, the vague plan, and the child. More often than naught he'd come and listen to her talk to the child or he do it himself, which always warmed her heart… she could add one more thing to the list:

• He cares about our child

But it felt so strange to write 'our'… all the same, she had decided if she couldn't be a part of her child's life—the very idea made it hard to breathe—she'd not return to being a miko, she'd do something else, anything else. She'd find a nice man; she'd have that simple life and be someone's wife. She'd start a family, a big one; she'd be happy—well, as happy as she could be.

If her child wasn't part of it, she couldn't imagine real happiness.

"It is going to be okay, honey," she assured her child as she placed her hand on her stomach, "somehow, it will be. I'll be here for you no matter what. I promise. A promise is something scared, my mother—your grandma—taught me that. Never make a promise you can't keep, she always said. No matter what, I will be a part of your life."

If she had to get on her hands and knees and beg Watanabe she would, if she had to tell Souta and Kaede she would, if she had to tell the whole world she would if it meant being with her child.

An ache in her back was usual but when she felt something ever so uncomfortable occur she pressed her lips together and shifted in her seat and it stopped for a moment only to start back up again, "oh," she gasped as she realized what it was, what her doctor had been warning her about for a month, every starter sign of… labor.

It was finally time; she was going to finally meet her child.

_At least, that's what I thought. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Negations had taken place between her and Watanabe since the first moment he mentioned having a child in a room with other people, he said that was how some royalty did it, but she'd remind him she wasn't royalty, back and forth they went for weeks and weeks and weeks until he gave in to her demand and narrowed down the number allowed in to four, not including the doctor or nurses.

She had no idea how little she would care when the time finally came and nothing mattered but the agony of wanting to get over the hours and hours of contraction after contraction, stress and strain, and screams of pain.

"Almost ready," the doctor finally said as she shut her eyes, pressed her lips, and grabbed the sheets all the harder, "hold in there, Higurashi-san."

"Oh Kami!" She cried out as she turned her head and took a few deep, speedy breaths in to try and ignore the pain, between her narrowed eyes she saw a familiar man standing beside Watanabe, one she wasn't supposed to know who… but did, and knowing that he was there made her feel better each time she looked over to him.

_At the time I didn't realize it, but I think he stood by Watanabe the entire time so that it wouldn't seem strange that I kept looking. Watanabe would always smile and encourage me on, as if he thought it mattered so much to me that _he_ was there. The idiot, I was always looking at Inuyasha. Who just kept his gaze fixated on me… trying his utmost not to let his worry be written across his face so easily._

"Okay! On the count of three, I want you to start pushing, Higurashi-san," the doctor declared as he made her legs were spread far enough apart, "one, two, three!"

She screamed out as she pushed the first time with all her might, she shrieked the second time, and even the third before everything suddenly stopped and she fell back into the seat covered sheets and let out a breath… finally it was over.

Yet the room was too quiet, as soon as that registered worry swelled within her chest and she looked up just in time to see her child cry out for the first time.

"I'll take him into the next room to clean," the doctor said as he cut the cord and wrapped the baby in a blanket.

"He? It's a boy?" she awed as she reached out, "can I hold him?"

"I'm sorry," was his only reply before he exited the room, stealing her son in the process.

"Rest, Higurashi-san," Watanabe requested as he and the rest started to walk out.

"No! I want to see him!" She demanded as she sat up, "just once! Please!"

"Help her rest," Watanabe ordered the nurse beside her as letting everyone exist before him so he could shut the door behind her.

Like he she was going to rest, she'd jump out of the bed and find the strength to search for the doctor and _her_ baby if need be! And, apparently, Watanabe predicted that, since the nurse's way of "helping" her sleep was injecting her with something that made her head slam against the pillow within seconds…

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Drowsy didn't even cover it when she finally forced her heavy lids open, groggy couldn't explain the fog she felt as she discarded the sheets that were on top of her and slid out of bed only to fall to the ground right away, it took two tries for her to find her way to her feet as she began to walk out of the room in nothing more than a white gown…

She was searching for something but there was one problem—she couldn't remember what… there was something she _had_ to find but as she walked hazily through the hallways, the walls of which she bumped into off and on along her journey, she couldn't recall what she meant to do until she heard a scoff in the courtyard that caught her attention enough that she walked barefoot out onto the cold concrete.

Three men were attacking a silver haired hanyou, it wasn't until she saw his golden eyes that it all came flooding back. Her baby! She was looking for her son, still when she saw one of them punch the father of her child in the face she couldn't help but call out, "Inuyasha!"

Apparently, that wasn't what she should have done, since he looked up right away to her with a puzzled gaze which, regrettably, left him completely open to the sword that was shoved into his stomach, she screamed again as she rushed to him, pushing the men aside that didn't dare touch her and grabbing the bleeding boy.

Still, she caused only more problems, since that made his already uneven balance worse as he grabbed her gown and stumbled back to hit the well right behind him and go toppling over it… with her along for the ride.

Tightly she squeezed her eyes shut as she prepared for the inevitable thud that would surely break at least some of his bones, if not one or two of her own, but it too far longer to do so than she would have thought and it was far gentler than it should have been when it finally came… and too quiet as well.

She forced her lids open to look up and instantly she knew something was wrong. Green trees and the blue sky was the sight above them when the courtyard walls were what she should have seen, her brows bent together as she moved to stand up only to hear a wince below her.

"Oh, I forgot!" She cried out as she looked to the wound her hand had mistakenly landed on, swiftly she withdrew her now bloody hand before she started to scream as loud as she could, "help! Someone, help!"

_I had no idea then, how much I really needed._

* * *

**A/N**: _I really enjoy the reviews, so thank you everyone, even a one liner is nice to get! To those who don't review... *shakes head* It takes us authors at least an hour to write, another to glance over, and you can't take a minute to review? ... If you ever wondered why some of your favorite authors dropped a story without finishing, you'd be the answer._

_*_**EDIT**_* Thank you for the mass amount of reviews to this chapter, but let me clarify something, I'm not threatening to stop if you don't review. If I ever stop, it's because I'm too busy or lost inspiration to a story. I'm simply saying in _**general**_ on FFnet people should review more. There are some really great authors out there and awesome stories, if you ever come across something you like, take a minute and review. I guarantee you that you won't be annoying the author, but encouraging him or her to write more.__  
_


	12. Thrash of Truth

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_2_: _Thrash of Truth_**.** °•.

{…}

_This was my awakening, the day that the truth was thrown in my face. The day this terrible pain started to swell up in my chest, an emptiness that I needed to fill so… the sweet, pure, me started to dwindle away._

_I regret that… but I needed to fill the void somehow. It felt so bad._

"Help!" She screamed over and over again as she stood up on her feet to try and get anyone's attention, her hectic hazels flickering from the sky to the wounded man below her, "please, someone!"

"Shush," Inuyasha groaned as he pried open an eye before pushing off the ground to grab his stabbed stomach and wrap an arm around her waist to leap out of the well. Right away he let her go to stumble forward, it was her that grabbed him once more to keep him up.

"Inuyasha, where are we? Are you okay? Can you—?"

"Shut up!" He ordered with a grunt as he pointed towards a village down the hill, "we gotta go there."

Though, thousands of questions circled her frayed mind she couldn't help but look back down to the blood that gushed out of his gut and that had to come first, if not for just a moment. They started down the hill as quickly as they could without stumbling or tumbling down to head straight for the largest house in the small place. It only took two thunderous pounds of the hanyou's fist to get a man to come to the door.

Huge hazels and a dropped jaw was her reply when she saw that man, "how…?"

"Inuyasha?" He gasped as he stood aside so that they could entire, "I'll summon a healer. How did this happen?"

"Long story," he groaned as he sat down, "I'll explain it later."

"Watanabe-sama…?" Kagome awed as she rather rudely pointed at the man, her eyes scanning over ever itch of him—but something was wrong; his aura was off, just a smudge…

"Who's this?" He questioned but after he glanced over her twice his confusion seemed to fade away, "Kikyou… my lord, she looks so much like Kikyou. This is her other? Why is she here, where is the—?"

"Watanabe!" Inuyasha shouted, "I'm kinda bleeding out here!"

"Right," he snapped back before rushing towards the door, "I'll get a healer, hold on."

"Inuyasha, what's going on?" Kagome inquired as she turned to look to the man in a contorted face, for a fragment of a moment she felt sorry for him, her expressions even softened, but then another thought returned—one that was more important than the handsome hanyou. "Where's my baby?"

"It's complicated," he grumbled as he grabbed a clothe and pressed it up against his wound, "just go with it for a while."

"No! I want to know where he is!"

"Not here!" He screamed back, "we're in a different world! Got it? He's in the one you're from! Now we're in mine!"

"What…? That's absurd! If you are going to lie to me at least come up with something better," she demanded as she folded her arms.

"How else do you explain going down the well and coming back up in a completely different place?" he growled between clenched teeth right as the door burst upon and two came crashing in, one and elder hunched back lady and the other Watanabe's doppelganger.

"Obaasan," she gasped as her hands flung up to cover her mouth. That seemed to catch the attention of the one-eyed priestess. Automatically, she stopped her examination on Inuyasha to stare in awe at the girl in nothing but a dirty white gown.

"K… Kikyou," the woman whispered.

"Not her," Inuyasha grumbled as he glared at the lady, "Kaede, how about taking a gander at the stab!"

"Yes, yes," she shook her head to as she moved the hanyou's hand out of the way, "please leave the room."

"Let me get you something else to wear," Watanabe offered as he placed a hand on her shoulder and nodded to another door, "can you tell me how Inuyasha got injured?"

"He was stabbed," she stated as they exited, "he was fighting with a few guards… and then got stabbed. I don't know why… I have no idea where here is… I don't understand. We just fell down the well by mistake."

"You are from one reality, we are in another," he began to explain as he pulled out a priestess out, "you called me Watanabe-sama, I assume you know my counterpart in your world. Every single one of us has an other, as we call them; the well is one of the few portals between the two worlds."

"I'm confused," she murmured all the same.

"Of course, this is hard to comprehend," he assured with a nod as he handed her the clothes, "I believe, deep down, you do understand that you aren't in your own world. You a powerful priestess, you must be able to tell that."

"How do you know that?" she murmured.

"I know a lot about you," he nodded as he started towards the door, "Inuyasha has told me and… I knew your other, Higurashi Kikyou. Rarely, names are different, but you are her. I can tell, you two look so alike."

What could she say to that? She just glanced to the clothes… such a wardrobe was something she hadn't donned on in so long, but that only slowed her changing, not stopped completely. Still, when she stood there fully dressed she had never felt so wrong.

_Could I honestly call myself a priestess anymore? I had a child, that was a rather large no-no, and helping others was still a concern of mine just not the gravest. My child, my baby boy, that was… and I couldn't find him. I couldn't have him. I felt horrid. I didn't even want to become one anymore, hadn't for a while._

_But what was my second biggest concern was that I believed the other Watanabe-sama, that I was stuck in a different world._

That's why she went to the well right away and leaped into it with her eyes squeezed shut, still when she landed on the bottom she winced back a yelp. Her ankle ached right away but she was almost certain it was worth it when she looked up and saw… nothing.

A sigh left her lips, why was she looking up at the evening sky with trees instead of the castle walls?

"I want to see my child," she muttered to herself as she slammed her fists upon the ground. "Why can't I go back!"

The world seemed to be falling down around her but… she had to keep her composure, didn't she? She had to be brave—probably? She swallowed back the tears that threatened to break loose as she grabbed the vines that had grown around the well and started to climb up, ignoring her twisted ankle all the while.

She limped back to the house she had left since she hadn't any other idea why, she'd just talk to Inuyasha… he'd surely explain things. Except there was one problem in her perfect plan, when she walked into his room he was sound asleep. She supposed he deserved that, but _she_ was the one that had given birth not too long ago. With a sigh she sat down next to him and just waited, since she hadn't the heart to wake him.

Her heavy lids did shut a few times before she rested her head upon the wall beside her; she had yet to fall to sleep actually when she heard the rustle in the bed that forced them back open to see him open his eyes.

"You're alive," she declared with a weak smile, "how are you feeling?"

"Decent," he sighed as he forced himself to sit up, wincing at the pain, "did anyone explain to you what is going on?"

"Watanabe-sama… the other said I we were in some world," she shrugged, "I don't get it really."

"I'm from this world, you're from that," he began, as he rested against the wall, "want me to be brutally honest with you?"

"Honesty is the best policy," she replied with a shake of her head.

"If you say so," he murmured, "people can only travel between two worlds when their other is no longer in existence in the parallel reality. My other died a couple years ago, in some scuff, apparently he's not as good of a fighter as me. That's why I could go over there, yours… her name was Higurashi Kikyou, she died three years ago."

"You knew her," she whispered.

"Yes," he nodded, "I loved her, she was everything to me. We knew each other for years… she was my wife. The center of my life."

"I'm… sorry," was all she could say, trying her utmost to keep her voice from cracking like her heart. She knew he didn't love her, she knew they weren't even really friends, but… to hear him speak so softly, to have such pain in his eyes, for another woman—even one she never knew—hurt more than she thought it would yet… less at the same time.

At least she had prepared herself for this.

"I knew we would have a boy because her… her and I were having a boy," he muttered as he turned his golden gaze back to her, stun spewed across her face as he expected, "he was a still born, though. It was the worst day of my life and it killed her. She passed away a few days later, everyone said it had something to do with the birth, that it was some complication no one could predict but I knew… she couldn't live with the knowledge that our child was gone."

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

_It was _so_ strange to sit there talking to a man I couldn't deny I had feelings for speak about my other with such compassion. All the same I could understand her pain, completely. To know you were having a child yet never getting to meet him, there is this terrible emptiness that's left behind._

_It tore away at me; it hurt more than anything Inuyasha could do. It would be the death of me before the knowledge that he was just using me._

_Though, that didn't make me feel any better. That just made the gloom of the world—both—fall upon me._

"Yeah," he grumbled, "you must be wondering why I was in your world, huh?"

"Just a bit more than a lot," she sighed.

"Watanabe, my world's, knew that if you were picked then I would have to be, these types of things always align, but if I wasn't in that world they wouldn't pick you since the other me was dead. Get it?"

"I think… but why? Why me? Why put me through that?"

"Look, I'm sorry about that, I really am," he replied, "I didn't mean to use you or anything but I needed to be the father, the kid had to be half from my world."

"You just want to use the child?" she snapped, "how could you?"

"Of course not! He's my kid, too!"

"How do we get back? How do we get him?"

"I don't know yet, I'll figure it out," he assured, "why don't you go get some rest, okay? I'll have an answer for you in the morning."

"How am I supposed to sleep?" She questioned, "I had my baby taken from me."

"They'll treat him like a god, don't worry."

_And yet, that didn't make me feel better in the least._

"You lied," she asserted, "the whole time, you were lying about _everything_!"

"No," he countered, "I omitted certain truths, there's a difference."

"It's the same thing," she retorted as she folded her arms.

_All the same, I couldn't sleep that night… I still found it hard to stay mad at him; I couldn't help but feel sorry more so. He lost his wife… and his child, all in the span of one week? Was it strange that I wanted to make all his pain go away?_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

And since she couldn't sleep, she decided to go for a stroll around, but stay close so she wouldn't get lost. Even before she left the house she stayed at she heard a horde of harsh whispers that caught her full attention so she crept towards the door to Inuyasha's bedroom to listen in.

"How could you mess this up so badly?" Watanabe whispered, "Inuyasha, this was vital! The well won't align again with the other world for who knows how long. It could be five years!"

"Then we'll have to wait five years!" Inuyasha snapped, "the kid won't be able to do anything until he is seven or eight anyway."

"Why is Kikyou's other here?" he questioned quickly, "what use do we have for her?"

"I don't know, it's not like I meant to for her to come with me! We fell!"

"All this work for nothing, Inuyasha," Watanabe growled, "this could be the end of our world, do you understand that?"

"Watanabe," he grunted back, "we'll have one more chance."

"Who knows when! It will be at _least_ a year before you'll be able to cross over again."

"What are you talking about?" Kagome demanded to know as she stepped into the room, "I want to go back now and see my son! You said you'd have it figured out by morning! How could you lie like that to my face?"

"Shut up!" Inuyasha snapped, "stop being so self-centered! The kid's mine, too, I care about him, I lost one son already do you really think that I want to experience that a second time? Get over yourself!"

"Stop being an ass," she hissed back, "you lied to me; you were going to take my baby away from me!"

"I'm going to leave you two," Watanabe whispered as he slinked out of the room.

"That's not true at all," he growled, "no child should have to live without his mother. I was going to bring you with me."

"You just said you weren't!"

"Not at this very moment! It kind of defeats the purpose if we are both here and our son is in the other world!"

"You are a liar!" She declared with a stomp, "why should I listen to you?"

"No mother should have to live without a child, no child without a mother," he stated.

_In that moment, I felt there was something sincere in his words or maybe I still wanted to believe him, so I took a deep breath and tried to settle down. Tried to ignore the gaping hole that tore away at me, the anxiety of not knowing where my child was, what was happening to him… it was horrid._

"Why is our child important? Why do both Watanabes want him?" She questioned as she stepped aside to sit down at a chair as she placed her hand on her empty stomach, "what's going on…? Why can't anyone tell me?"

"They think that the child will be the key to destroying my world," Inuyasha explained as he looked away from her, "you know how villages in your world are disappearing? Same thing is happening here; somehow our two realities are colliding. Eventually, only one is going to be able to stay put."

"How can a child possibly help do that?" She asked with bent brows, "that's horrid to put that type of pressure on him… Inuyasha, I want to be with him now."

"I do, too," he assured, "but I can't control what's going on. We'll just have to wait until the well opens again and we'll go get him."

"And stay," she stated, "I'm not coming here, this isn't my world. I have a _brother_ who needs me."

"I know," he nodded.

"I never told you about my brother," she rejoined as she narrowed his eyes on him.

"You have a brother here, too," he explained, "and a mom…"

"She's… she's alive here?" She murmured, "really?"

"Yeah," he coaxed, "I'm sure she'd like to meet you, Souta, too."

"No," she shook her head as she stood up, "no, I'm not his sister… not her daughter. No. I'm… going back to bed. I want to go home to my world, I want my child, I want _my_ brother…"

"I'm not magical!" He declared, "I can't make the well just open up. Settle the freak down, okay?"

"Oh," she awed angrily as she turned to point at him, "I will kill you if ever tell me to do that again! I've been thrown into a different world after having my baby taken from me! I didn't even get to hold him!"

"I _am_ sorry," he coaxed out as softly as he could, "but I can't fix this. You're the one that distracted me; you're the one that pushed me down the well, _you—"_

"Are you blaming me?" She snapped, "how dare you!"

"You threw me off balance!"

"Go to hell," she demanded as she turned around on her aching ankle to storm out.

_I knew then, that whatever illusion I held between us was false._

_We were strangers and I didn't really care to change that._


	13. New Her, Same Him

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_3_: _New Her, Same Him_**.** °•.

{…}

_I didn't know what to do… everything told me where I needed to be, _my_ world with _my_ child but I had no idea how to get there. I had never felt so helpless in all my life. I was stuck in a world that wasn't mine, living off the charity of a stranger, and trapped with a man I could no longer stand to be in the same room with, let alone under the same roof._

_Omitting the truth is the same thing as lying, to me at least. Yet, the pain that cascaded through me from that knowledge wasn't anything new. I guess I did a decent job at preparing myself for whatever he was hiding, I just didn't think it was this—a new world, a lost lover, and stillborn son._

_A part of me felt sorry for him but… most of me just wanted to get away. _

_And then there was this fragment festering inside of me, so small that I barely noticed it—a need, a desire to live my life the way I never could before. I grew up as the sole supporter of otouto as a virtues priestess—which I could no longer return to—then the rest allowing a stranger's child to grow within me for reason unknown._

_I never had a life of my own—was it selfish that I would slowly begin to want one? When I had a son? Shouldn't he have come first?_

_I'm sorry, I really am._

Comatose was close to what she was in that moment as she sat staring out the window within the room designated as 'hers', all the while trying to wrap her head around what had happened. Accepting she was in a new world wasn't as hard as she thought it would be, recognizing that she could not reach her child for an indefinite amount of time was worse than she expected… and even if she _did_ get back to him, who was to say that she could see him? That the other Watanabe would allow it?

She had a feeling he wouldn't… with a shake of her head she freed herself of her own self-sorrow and stood up. It was a fine summer day, she might as well wonder around the village while she thought. It was, after all, where she would be stuck for who knows how long. A sigh escaped her lips the moment she stepped out of the house, her hazels shifting over the wardrobe she was still stuck in.

The moment she could, she'd buy new clothes, anything _but_ what a priestess would wear. She wasn't one, she would never be again. It would feel like she was living a lie, and she was so sick of them.

When a ball bumped her foot she snapped out of her thoughts to bend down and pick it up, she had every intention of returning it to the boy who ran her way until she saw his face… and her world froze, just as he did the moment he looked up at her.

"K… Ki…" he started, yet never found a way to form the word fully as his wide brown eyes locked with hers.

"Otouto?" She murmured as the ball slipped from her hands to bounce upon the ground and away again, she barely even heard his friends cry out from the nearby field in disappointment.

"Mom!" the boy screamed as he turned his head, "mom! Mom! Mom!"

"Souta?" A middle aged woman questioned as soon as she ran out of the door to her home, but she instantly stopped when she saw who stood before him, for a moment her attention simply lingered on the ebony haired damsel before a small smile surfaced, "you must be Higurashi Kagome, Watanabe-san warned," she cleared her throat to correct herself, "told me about you."

It took a moment before she could recall something similar that the traitorous hanyou had told her amidst their last argument—the last time they even spoke, a whole day had passed by since then.

"Inuyasha… told me you were alive here," she whispered back.

"So she's Kikyou's other?" Souta finally murmured as he took a step closer to his mother, "the one from the other world? The place Inuyasha kept going?"

His mother nodded before looking back to Kagome, "would you like to have lunch with us today? Watanabe-san told me that you would be staying here until the well reopened, if you haven't a place to stay—"

"I'm sorry," she interrupted as she took a step away, "but… but my mother died when I was young. I'm not your daughter, you're not my mother. We aren't related."

"I know that," she softly assured, "but you are the daughter of my other, I feel obligated—"

"Don't," she asserted, "really, you don't need to feel _obligated _to do anything for me. I'm stuck here until further notice but… but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I… I 'm sorry, I can't."

Before either could reply she bid them a goodbye and spun around to sprint off—if her mother was still alive she imagined that would be _exactly_ how she looked. Slight wrinkles around her eyes, some from how often she smiled as well, her own wavy hair still short, and that boy… he looked just like Souta, perhaps a bit tanner from playing outside a tad bit more but otherwise…

She had no idea how much it would hurt to simply see their faces, she took in a shaky breath as she stopped somewhere in the middle of town to blink away the sting in her eyes. As if she hadn't enough to deal with, the horrible world she was stuck in just _had_ to throw that in, too?

That was when _finally_ something went right, when she calmed down enough to glance around at her surroundings to see a sign hanging inside a window that read "HELP WANTED".

If she got a job then she'd be able to support herself while she was stuck there at least and… sadly, in her whole life she hadn't ever done that. While her parents were alive they did, when they were gone Kaede took her and her brother in, then in the castle… she lived off of Watanabe-san and the council.

That was step one of taking control of her life, being able to support _herself_. No man, no family, no anyone, just her.

She didn't even bother to look at what the place was before she walked in to see it filled with plenty of people and the smell of food, she glanced about until she saw the bartender who seemed to be the only one on duty outside of the kitchen so she went up to him and said, "hello, I was wondering if you still needed help?"

At first, the man with pointed ears and a pony-tail only let his blue gaze glimpse up to her before back to whatever it was he happened to be doing, "a priestess was to be a waitress?"

She had never considered that option before but she had always thought of herself as a people-person so she was sure to be at least decent at the job, "I'm not one; I just borrowed this from a friend. It's a really long story."

"Have any experience?" he asked as he finally looked up to meet her hazels, as harsh façade faded right away and a smile smirk slipped up his lips.

"No, not really," she admitted with a bit of a pout, "but I'm willing to learn. I'm available whenever you'd need me."

"How about now until closing? If you do well, you get the job, if not, I'll pay you for the night and you get to keep your tips," he suggested as he bent down to pick up a package and place it up on the counter, "that's your uniform. By the way, my name's Kouga. Akimoto Kouga."

"Higurashi Kagome," she cheerfully replied, "and that sounds great."

"Higurashi? You related to the family that lives here? The one that tends to the old shrine?"

"No," she wary answered, "not really."

"Not really?" he repeated with a cocked brow, "it's kinda a no or yeah question."

"It's a long story," she smiled as she took the package, "is there a place I can change?"

"Back room," he nodded in the direction of a door against the back wall, "Ayame should be back there on her break, tell her you're new and need her to train ya', a'right?"

"Sounds great," she chimed.

"Well aren't you a cheerful one?" he grinned.

"I'm excited," she explained before starting off, after all, it was her first ever actual job she had no reason to be anything but giddy at the prospect as she slipped into the back room and instantly almost ran into a red haired emerald eyed girl.

"Whoa there," she coaxed as she stepped aside, "who are you? This isn't the bathrooms—"

"I'm new," Kagome answered with a bright smile, "are you Ayame-san? Akimoto-san told me to tell you that I need to be trained."

"Finally!" She exhaled, "since one of the other waitress skipped town to get married we've been short handed, I am Ayame, I'll be more than happy to teach you how it works. Hey, what's with that outfit? You a—"

"No, no," Kagome countered quickly, "it's a long story; I'm just going to change into my uniform and then I'll be right out. My name is Higurashi Kagome, by the way."

"Nice to meet you," Ayame replied with a smile before slipping out of the room.

Since Kagome had been looking at the other girl's face the entire time she hadn't noticed what the outfit actually looked like until she unrevealed the package to see… something rather skimpy, in her humble opinion. She wouldn't even call it a full-fledged yukata, since the skirt reached above her knees enough to make her feel uncomfortable when she finally got it on, the bottom was mostly green while the top white with a splash of red petals.

"Maybe I'm not going to like this so much…" she murmured to herself before taking a breath in and stepping out—she had to give it a chance, after all. She had endured worse things, far worse.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"For no experience whatsoever you're pretty good," Ayame praised while she began to wipe down a table watching to make sure that Kagome was doing a good job at the very same thing across the empty restaurant, "how do you like it?"

"It's different," she answered, "I've never had a job where… men were so…"

"Leering," Ayame laughed, "don't worry, if anyone gets drunk enough to try and play grab-ass just tell Kouga and he'll take care of it. He's good like that."

"Akimoto-san owns this place?" She guessed as her attention shifted to the sign that read _Howling Times_, for a wolf youkai she had to admit that was a rather clever idea for a bar-restaurant hybrid.

"Akimoto-san's my dad," Kouga declared as he walked out from the storage room, "call me Kouga, you did good for your first day, Higurashi, the job is yours."

"If I'm meant to call you Kouga-san, then the least you could do is call me Kagome," she countered as she glanced up to the man that almost always seemed to be smiling—or grinning or smirking, she couldn't tell the difference.

"Deal," he assured with a nod, "hey, Ayame-chan, mind taking a quick inventory of the liquor? I'm going to be ordering more tomorrow, I'll take care of sweeping up."

"That's oddly nice of you," she replied but didn't hesitate to give him the broom in exchange for the clipboard he held, "do a good job, Kouga-kun."

"You two must be close," Kagome commented as she returned to clearing up the dirty tables.

"We've known each other since we were kids," he shrugged before his crystal blue eyes moved up to her as she bent over to whip the opposite side of the table she worked at, it wasn't until she stood up and chanced a glance at him that she noticed his attention.

It was silly, she was quite sure, but her cheeks still turned a light shade of pink as she looked away, "um, so, how long have you owned the place?"

"Couple years now, since my dad retired and handed the reigns over to me," he explained, "you look good in that outfit, by the way, a lot better than that priestess robe you were wearing, not that you didn't pull that off, too."

"Th-thank you," she supposed was the right reply.

"I bet you got plenty of good tips," he guessed, "I've never seen you in town before, and believe me I would have remembered seeing someone that looked like you."

"I'm… new," she answered, "just moved here."

"Where you from?"

"Somewhere far, far away," she murmured before swiping some crumbs in her hand, "did you grow up here?"

"You've got the whole mystery thing going on, eh?" He grinned as he finally began to sweep the floor, "I like that. I have a feeling that you'll make things more interesting around here."

Was he flirting with her or was she just being naïve? It wasn't like anyone had ever tried before, it's not like she ever dated, or ever knew a man's touch… she shook her head free of such thoughts, as flattered as she surely was _if _that was what Kouga was up to, she had to focus on getting home—that had to be her top priority.

Even though she found out that working was a splendid way of getting her mind off of everything.

"Where do you live? It's not really safe for a cute girl like you to walk home alone when it's so dark out," Kouga observed, confirming her sneaking suspicion with his blunt statement.

"I'm staying with a friend, actually," she replied before turning her attention to him, just as he did her, "Watanabe-san."

"The town head?" Kouga questioned with a cocked brow, "why?"

"Because I don't have a place to live yet," she replied, wasn't that the obvious answer? "That's why I got this job; I'm going to use the money to support myself. I'm sick of living off of other people, especially him."

Even if it was his _other_ self that she had began to detest.

"There's a place not too far from here, it's small, one room," he began, "but I know the landlord, if you're interested after a week's pay plus your tips and my word I'm sure you could get the place—"

"Seriously?" She awed, "you'd do that for me?"

"Of course," he grinned, "what are bosses for?"

"That's so nice! Oh, thank you so much!" She couldn't help but clap her hands together on top of her small jumps of joy, within a week she could be out of Watanabe-san's house and far, far away from a certain silver haired hanyou who seemed to live there, too. Or maybe he was merely recovering from that stab wound there for going home which was, hopefully, somewhere else—preferably another village.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Finally the silence was broken by one word, "_when_?"

"I don't _know_," he dragged out as his golden gaze turned to her at the lunch table, "you talking to me again, huh?"

"When will the well open up?" She questioned, ignoring his completely.

"Look, Watanabe said that it'll probably be a year before it lines up again. Last time they lined up it was for a whole year, so as much as it must stuck, you're stuck here for that long."

She groaned at the prospect before letting her face fall into her hands, "a whole year…? My otouto…"

_My baby…_

"I heard you ran into Souta yesterday," Inuyasha brought up only to receive a rather cold stare from her, "what?"

"He's your Souta, not mine," she insisted.

"He lost his big sister, you've lost your little brother, one would think that you wouldn't mind at least hanging—"

"I have not lost him!" She shouted back before taking a breath in and regaining herself. "I'm _temporarily_ stuck here, once the well opens back up I'm gone. Vamoose, back to Souta and back to…"

_That was when I finally spoke of what we had remained mute on, what probably hurt us both. I would like to think I was more affected, that I loved the child we never met more._

"He was born to that world, Inuyasha; he's staying there, with me."

His dull sunlit gaze suddenly came alive, but not with joy, "Kagome, he's in danger if he stays there."

"From what?" She muttered, "I still can't comprehend how a baby could possibly help the worlds from collapsing on themselves."

"Watanabe's trying to figure that out."

"Uh-huh," as if she'd make the mistake of trusting another Watanabe, "I very well could miss my son's first year, and it's _your_ fault."

"Mine?" he rejoined, "you pushed me down the well!"

"Whatever," she retorted as she picked up her dishes and placed them in the sink to deal with later before starting down towards the back door.

"What's with the new outfit?" she heard before opening it, so she reluctantly turned to look at the suspicious golden gaze that Inuyasha held. "Where'd you get the money to buy it?"

"None of your business," she rejoined, she just used the tips she got from working at Howling Times to buy herself something different to wear than the priestess outfit. It didn't concern him in the least bit. She opened the door just to go on a walk and instead had a violet eyed man with a toddler hanging off his neck stand in her way with an 'oh' she stepped aside to let him in.

"Sorry about that," he replied with a smile as he set the girl down while another, identical one at that, trotted in behind them. "I'm Shimizu Miroku; it's a pleasure to meet you...?"

"Higurashi Kagome," she introduced with a nod.

"Akira!" The girl in green shouted as she raised her hands high, her sister mimicked the actions to say, "Akiko!"

"Well it's a pleasure to meet the two of you," Kagome assured with a smile as she bent down to be at eye level with them, "aren't you precious? How old are you?"

"Three!" They chimed together as they raised three fingers.

"My, my, you two are old," she taunted to get them both to giggle.

"Miroku!" A familiar voice called out to catch Kagome's attention right away, the moment she looked up to the door she saw just who she expected standing there with an infant in her arms, from what she could catch from below the blue blanket she would guess the baby was no more than a week or two old. "There you are."

"Sango, my love," he smiled as he waved for her to step in, "Inuyasha, you were away when we had our last one. It's boy! His name's Masaaki."

"Must be happy to finally have a boy, Miroku," Inuyasha pointed out as he got up to walk over to the pretty mahogany eyed woman to get a better look at the baby, "cute kid. When'd you finally have him?"

"A week ago, Monday to be exact," she answered with a bright smile as she looked down to him, "isn't he precious?"

"You two want another?"

"I think not," Sango quickly stated, "we're done now."

Yet, behind her Miroku was nodding to counter what his wife said.

"S… Sango," Kagome murmured to catch her attention.

"I'm sorry, have we met?"

At first, she wanted to say 'of course' but then she remembered where she was and slowly shook her head as her wide eyes ventured about to see that she looked exactly like her real friend. Except one rather blaring difference, the way she glowed with joy, the way she _actually_ smiled. Her friend didn't know happiness like that… apparently the Sango of this world had found her love and had that family she so dearly wanted.

"This is Kagome," Inuyasha explained, "you know… the _other_ one."

"Oh," Miroku chimed as it dawned on him, "how is it you're here?"

"Mistake," the two replied at the same time, only to turn their glares to each other.

"Your fault," she asserted only for him to counter with, "as if, you were the one that threw me off balance."

"Did you know my other then?" Sango supposed to end the feud before it could fully start.

She just nodded at that before turning her gaze down to the baby that… would be the same age as her son, the realization of that sparked a whole new pang.

Sango couldn't help but ask, "Has she found Miroku yet?"

"No," she responded, "she's not very happy her… her home was… it disappeared. She lost everything."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Sango whispered and for once, Kagome believed someone in the weird world, "same thing happened to me four years ago."

"I'm sorry," Kagome quickly said.

"It's alright," she smiled softly, "I didn't lose everything, my brother Kohaku was with me when it happened. And then I met this fool."

"So cruel," Miroku pouted.

"We just heard you were back," Sango stated as she turned her gaze to Inuyasha, "but that you've been back for almost an entire week? Why haven't you come to see us? You know we worry about you, idiot."

"Yeah, yeah!" The twins chimed as they grabbed his hands to tug, "we play!"

"I got stabbed before crossing over," he explained with a quick accusing glance to Kagome, only to see her roll her eyes—really, she felt it was the least he deserved and he already seemed to be perfectly fine, so feeling guilty over the incident was the least of her concerns. "I just now healed up. I was gonna see ya' soon. And play with you two," he quickly added to appease the twins.

"Since it appears you've already eaten lunch why don't you come to dinner with us tonight?" Miroku requested, "you know we never mind to set an extra place for you, of course, you'd be invited as well Kagome-sama."

"That sounds wonderful," and, truly, a part of her wanted to go but, "unfortunately, I have to work tonight."

"Work?" Inuyasha rejoined, "since when? Is that why you've been getting back late?"

"Yes," she replied, "not that it's any of _your_ business."

"Keh," he scoffed back, "where? You reeked of beer, smoke, meat, and men last night."

"Are you spying on me?" She retorted as she folded her arms, "what I do, _Inuyasha_, is none of your concern."

"This ought to be interesting," Sango whispered to her husband as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Let me take him," Miroku requested once the others feud ended with Kagome storming out of the house entirely. Gently, she let handed their infant son over to him.

"I'll be right back," Sango assured as she placed a hand on her husband's shoulder before exiting to call out, "Kagome-san!"

If it were anyone else, she probably would have kept walking but… Sango—well, the _other_ Sango—had been her only friend in the castle so she took a break and turned around. "Yes?"

"Inuyasha is insufferable sometimes," she started, "maybe tomorrow you'd like to come to lunch at Miroku and mine's? If you are new here I'm sure you could use the company."

"That does sound nice," she assured as she forced herself to smile, "but if you are only being nice to me because you knew my other then please stop."

"Kikyou," Sango murmured before shaking her head lightly, "I only know _of_ her. She passed away five years ago, an entire year before Miroku and I moved here. We met Inuyasha afterwards, he was a wreck… he's made a lot of progress. I guess that's just a long way of saying I'm not, so what do you say?"

"I'm working the day shift tomorrow," she replied, "so I wouldn't be able to make it, I'm sorry, but thank you for the offer."

"How about dinner then?" Sango asked.

At that, Kagome couldn't help but actually smile, "you don't give up easily, do you?"

"No," she assured, "I'm going to keep throwing out days and meals until you say yes, so you might as well give up now."

"Okay," she nodded, "dinner, tomorrow night sounds lovely. Thank you."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Work had become her solace in the few days she had been there, what with remembering orders, table numbers, and the special drinks and meals of the day she didn't have time to think of anything else and that was exactly what she needed. As long as she was stuck there, she might as well focus on anything but what hurt her most.

"Thank you so much, Kagome-san," the chestnut haired boy chimed with a smile as she set his meal down in front of him.

"You are very welcome, Houjo-san," she replied with an authentic smile which only made his grow, "you always seem to be coming in for a meal, are you a regular customer?"

"I think I will be now," he answered.

She just smiled some more before turning to go to the bar to get the drink orders for another one of her tables, "that one has a thing for you."

"Kouga-san," she dragged out, "you don't know that."

"I do," he assured as he placed a bottle of sake on her tray and four glasses before leaning forward to be so close she could feel his warm breath, "believe me, I know that love sick look he has."

"He only just met me a few days ago," she reminded as she picked her tray up.

"So did I," he reminded with a lopsided smile before she shook her head and turned around. The wolf youkai was relentless but not so much so that it made her feel uncomfortable, it was simply subtle comments like that that made her realize that he was interested in more than just a friendship with her and if Houjo had the same thoughts then… well, she was flattered, that two would find her attractive enough to try and constantly sweet talk her. It was a revolutionary change from before, not once had a boy shown such interest in her… and the first one that did was a lying bastard that actually couldn't have cared less about _her_.

_Could you blame me for becoming paranoid of men's intentions after that? Not to mention, it had only been a week since I had a child. I wasn't feeling particularly sexy, thanks to the obi that was part of my uniform no one could really notice the baby fat I had yet to get rid of. I doubt they would have found me too attractive if they knew I had a one week old baby boy._

She sighed at that thought after setting the sake down at the table that, in her opinion, had already had enough that night.

"What's wrong, cutie?" One of the larger one's asked as he grabbed her wrist before she could turn away, "you not enjoyin' yourself? Why don't you come and sit down with us, we'll show you a good time."

"No, thank you, I have to work," she replied as kindly as she could before she tried to tug away, only to have to tug her forward. An arm grabbed her waist to keep her from falling into his lap as a clawed hand yanked the other man's hand from her wrist.

"Leave her _alone_," a gruff growl ordered, she knew who it was even before she looked up from the red suikan sleeve to see a rather annoyed hanyou.

"What are you doing here?" Kagome harshly whispered as she pushed him away to stand up straight.

"You wouldn't tell me where you worked so I followed your scent," he countered, "this is where you want to spend your nights? And in _that_ no less?"

"I don't care if you approve of my uniform," she retorted as she straightened it out, "go away, Inuyasha. I'm working."

"Hey, mutt," Kouga called out as he walked around the counter to step between him and her, "this guy bothering you, Kagome?"

"_Kagome_?" He rejoined with a cocked brow, "you two friendly, huh?"

"Inuyasha, go away," she ordered after she poked her head out from behind her boss, "please!"

"Fine," he grumbled as he took a step away, his hard golden gaze stuck on Kagome all the while, "see you when you get back."

"Back where?" Kouga questioned with a raised brow as soon as the hanyou was out of his restaurant, "do you live with mutt-face?"

"No, he lives next door to Watanabe-san's house," she answered, since he had finally gone back to living there that day.

"I hate that mutt-face, if he ever bothers you again just tell me," Kouga ordered before he stepped past her to slam his hand on the table that had just bothered her, "and if you get friendly with my any of my wait staff again I'll not only kick you out, but I'll beat you to hell and back."

"Men," one of the other waitress rolled her eyes as soon as Kouga returned to his post, "I'm kinda jealous of you Kagome-chan, you haven't been here a week and there are already three guys out for your heart."

"It's the whole lack of talking about where she's from or _anything_ about her at that, that guys must like," another pouted.

"Yuka-chan, Eri-chan," she coaxed out, "it's just that boys like the newest thing in town, once I'm old news they won't care."

"Houjo-kun is the son of the greatest healer in town," another whispered as she nudged her friend.

"Ayumi-chan," she hushed, "what if he hears you?"

"I hope he does," she smiled over at the boy in question, "if any one of us married him then we'd be set for life. No more waitressing."

"Ever since you started Houjo-kun has purposely sat in your section," Eri proclaimed, "if I were you I'd go for him. The whole bad boy thing of Kouga's is attractive at first but Houjo-kun could provide a good life for you while Kouga…"

"Ayame-chan is head over heels for Kouga," Yuka warned, "and she _is_ a wolf youkai, too, I'd worry about it if I were you."

_Really, the last thing I thought I needed to concern myself with was boy trouble but… it was a refreshing change. Granted, somewhat irritating, but nice._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

She hadn't anything but a box of some clothes that she had only recently bought to take with her when she left Watanabe's, she thanked him over and over again even though she didn't really feel obligated to do so since it had been _his_ idea in the first place that Inuyasha go to her world and… that broke her wounded heart, so why thank him? Still she put on her polite smile before stepping out of the place to see Kouga nonchalantly leaning against one of the other houses with his arms folded upon his chest; he smiled once he saw her and stood up straight.

"Want me to carry that for you?" Kouga questioned as he held out his hands.

"Thank you," she replied before she handed it over, "I'm so excited, I've never had a place of my own before."

"Really?" he countered, "would have figured you for the independent type, did you just leave your parents or something?"

"No, I just never lived alone," she replied, "haven't lived with my parents since I was a kid."

"They dead?" he guessed, but before she could answer that a hanyou donned in red stepped in front of them with furrowed brows, "what do you want, mutt-face?"

"What are you doing?" he countered as his glance flickered between the two.

"Helping her move," Kouga grunted back, "now move aside."

"Where ya' going?" he repeated, this time his eyes squarely locked upon Kagome.

"Moving out," she replied, "to an apartment close to the city center."

"Why?" he rejoined.

"Because I don't want to life off of Watanabe-san's charity," she answered, "and as long as I'm stuck here then I'm going to living on my own."

"Then what's with this bastard helping?" he grumbled with a nod of his head to Kouga, "you dating or something?"

"If we were, it wouldn't be any of your business," Kagome kept up, which only sparked Kouga's smirk to grow, "now please step aside, Inuyasha. I'll see you at Sango and Miroku's tonight for dinner. Have a nice day."

"Yeah, move it, mutt," Kouga ordered, he rearranged the box to rest under one of his arms before placing his hand on the small of her back. That seemed to be the trigger; Inuyasha grasped her arm to yank her away.

"Don't touch Kik—"

"I'm not her!" Kagome shrieked as she yanked her arm away, "I'm not Kikyou! I'll never be her, Inuyasha, so get over it!"

_That was it. That was what I really needed to hear him slip up, to know why he kept such a close eye on me, not because he cared, but because… he was confusing me with her._

_He probably had been the whole time. He probably didn't even recognize our son as _ours_ but _theirs. _I thought that he hurt me as much as he could already… I was wrong._

She sucked in some air as she turned her attention back to the bewildered wolf, "thank you for helping me."

"Not a problem…" he replied they stepped beside the bemused hanyou to start towards the apartment he had helped get for her. "I'm not even going to ask what that was all about."

"Thank you," she whispered as soon as they turned the corner.

_I wouldn't have known how to explain it._

_

* * *

**A/N**: hope you enjoyed and **please **review! It will probably be a while before I can update again, finals are starting up for me.  
_


	14. Amiable Agreements

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_4_: _Amiable Agreements_**.** °•.  
{…}

_Things went from unbearable to decent, just _about_ tolerable even, slowly but surely I stopped hating being there. I was still upset, I still longed for my baby boy, still desperately wanted to hold my otouto in my arms and promise him I'll never leave him again. I miss him, I miss a lot of things… but I never had someone like Kouga interested in me. He was handsome and seemingly nice. I liked the feeling of having someone fond of me… _

"I'm so sorry," Sango insisted as she reached out to grab one of her daughters to drag her to her lap, her stern mahoganies shifted to her other as she mouthed for her to sit down, "they are overly energetic at times."

"I love it," Kagome assured as she smiled at the pouting Akiko, or was it Akira? Before her hazels turned down to the infant she was cradling, "they are all so adorable."

"He my broder," the one that wasn't on lock down declared giddily, not even able to say the word correctly, as she walked over to grab Kagome's arm and look down at her 'brother'.

"Yes he is," she replied softly, "are you happy to be a big sister? I am, too, it's an important responsibility."

"Really?" the twin awed, "you, too?"

"Me too," she chimed with a nod, "it's the best thing ever. Your little brother is going to look you to you and your sister, so you have to be a good example and since you two are such big girls you have to help your mommy and daddy out with him."

She just nodded her head before sitting down properly beside Kagome to start on her desert.

"You are so good with children," Sango pointed out with a smile, "you'll make a great mother someday."

A weak attempt at a smile was all Kagome could muster up before Inuyasha elbowed Sango in the side while shooting her a hard gaze, it took her a moment but she cringed to say, "I'm sorry… I forgot. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through."

"It's not your fault," she whispered before handing off little Masaaki to his father.

"You have our sympathy," assured Miroku, "you are welcome here whenever; the girls have taken to you obviously."

"We're glad you could make it to dinner," Sango added as she finally let her daughter go to run around the table and squeeze in between her father and their female guest.

"Play with us!"

"I should really help your mother with the dishes," Kagome countered with a pout, "next time?"

"No, no, you play with the girls," Sango insisted as she picked up her dishes, "Inuyasha will help me."

"I will?" he questioned with a cocked brow before he felt a jab in his side, "I mean, I will."

"Let's play hide and seek!" The girls giddily requested as they jumped up and down before one said, "you're it!"

"Okay, I'm going to count to ten," she replied before covering her eyes and starting, she could easily hear the scurry of their feet as they went off to hide but once she reached the last number she purposely wandered off in the opposite direction to make them think they had out smarted her, she just didn't know that happened to the direction of the kitchen area.

"Stop lecturing me," Inuyasha ordered.

"I barely started," Sango rejoined before slapping him on the back of the head, "just listen for once. Kagome-san is obviously her own person, completely separate from Kikyou-sama. You'll only be hurting yourself and her if you keep seeing her as anything but that. She's not Kikyou-sama's reincarnation, Inuyasha."

"It's easy for you to say," he snapped back before slamming the dishes down, "you never knew Kikyou. You can't see how alike they are, you can't imagine how much it kills me to be around her… how much their scents are similar."

"I can't," Sango whispered back before placing her hand on his shoulder, "I wouldn't know what I'd do if I lost my children and Miroku. It would be the end of my world but… Inuyasha, you're stronger than me. Now you have something new to live for—you have a _son_, you need to have some hope."

"Hope sucks," he grunted back.

That was all she would listen to before turning around to finish the game with Akira and Akiko as quickly as she could, much to their dismay, they even grabbed her legs once she said, "thank your wife for the meal, Miroku-sama, but I'm tired. I think I'll be going home now."

"No!" The twins cried out, "please play more!"

"I'm so sorry," she pouted, "but I've been working all day long, I need to get some sleep."

"Let Kagome-sama go, girls," Miroku ordered sternly enough that they reluctantly listened, "I will, have a nice night."

"You as well," she smiled back before leaving to start her stroll home.

_I knew he had to be hurting, he lost his son—both times—and his wife who he obviously adored. Of course it was only natural that hurt him but… I never really thought about how much seeing me may, I never realized how hard it must have been for him until then. I can't deny that I felt sorry for him, really truly sorry, but it would be a lie to say that I forgave him. _

_It wouldn't be real if I said I wasn't jealous of Kikyou… she had such a wonderful life. A husband that would do anything for her, a mother and brother that doted over her, friends that worshiped her. I know how much it hurts to think you lost your son but… but to give up on life because of that, to leave everyone that loves you behind… that's just not right, either. That's unforgivable, cruel even. Why didn't she think about Inuyasha? How dependant he was on her happiness?_

_But… back then, I didn't know the full truth. I doubt I ever really will._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

So often since her arrival she'd lie awake at night when she should have been sleeping, her eyes wide open as she stared at nothing in particular allowing her mind to wonder to places it ought not. Her soul held hope that everything would magically make itself right, that she'd see her nameless son and be able to make up for time lost, but her mind knew better. It was the pessimist to her optimistic personality. It's what made her worry, what made her stomach coil with fear of… the world she was stuck in becoming the only one she'd ever know.

The very _real_ reality that she might never know her child—could she move on from that? Could she be truly happy? Or would there always be the hole inside her?

Finally she felt her lids close to start off towards the slumbering world... only to have a knock bang against the door to force her to get out of bed and open it to grumble a, "_what _could it possibly be?"

But when her eyes finally locked onto who it was they widened for a fraction of a moment before her brow bent up, "Inuyasha? Do you know how late it is? What if I were sleeping?"

"I doubted you would be," he replied, "was I right?"

_We did, after all, have the same worry on our mind, though neither of us would say it aloud._

"How did you find me? I never told you where I moved to," she asserted with narrowed eyes.

He scoffed, "I followed your scent, obviously."

She shook her head before rolling her eyes to ask, "What do you want?"

"I've been thinking," he dragged out, "that it bothers me that you seem to hate me so much."

That gave her pause for a moment before she sighed and stepped aside to let him into her one room place, there was a small section for the kitchen, a sitting area, then her bedroom behind a decorative screen to separate it from the rest. Cautiously he came in and glanced about before turning to her as she shut the door, "hate is a very strong word, Inuyasha. I've been thinking, too."

"About what?" he asked, "this is a tiny place… why move here? Watanabe almost never is at his home, you could have had the big place all to yourself."

"I don't want to live with him," she asserted, "I don't want to live off of someone else. I want to be independent, and this place is perfectly fine. It has everything I need."

"If you say so," he murmured before turning his golden gaze back to her, "look, we've got a kid together so I was thinking…" more like _Sango_ had been thinking and made him see the a small shimmer of the light, "that maybe we should at least get along."

"I think that's a good idea," she replied, since that was exactly the same thing that she had been considering.

"You do?" he replied.

She nodded before saying, "but if we're going to be friends then there has to be a few guidelines. First you can't _ever_ call me Kikyou, second you can't come to my work and start assaulting customers to try and protect me as if I'm your woman—which I'm _not_."

"You'd rather have some pervert touch you?" he grunted.

"You can protect me as a _friend_," she countered, "and if I were to date someone you can't get all bent out of shape or hot and bothered by it."

His brows furrowed before he grumbled, "you want to date that bastard Kouga."

"That's not it," she assured, "I'm just saying _if_ I ever were to you—"

"Why would you want to when you hate it here so much?" He interrupted harshly, "that's what you're always saying."

"If I'm going to be stuck here for a year, I might as well enjoy myself," she replied with a shrug, "Inuyasha, if I were to date someone then you should support me. If we are going to be friends, just like I would you, you can't keep acting like a jealous ex when we aren't."

"What else would you call the fact that we have a kid together?" he countered.

"Honestly?" she questioned before letting out a heavy breath, "I have no idea. We probably have the weirdest start to a friendship in the history of my world at least. We are clearly doing things completely backwards, but I would like to be your friend. You are the father of my son, just like you said."

It was a moment before he nodded, "I'll give it a go but… you need to give me time, Kagome. It's hard for me but I'll try to keep you and… and Kikyou separate."

"As your _friend_," she emphasized to win his attention back, "I can sympathize with that and I'm willing to help you however I can."

"Thanks," he guessed, "good night, Kagome."

"Good night, Inuyasha," she smiled as she opened the door for him.

_I was actually happy in that moment, perhaps the first time since I came to his world. I didn't realize it until later but… that did mean if worse came to be reality; I could still have a life. I could still be content. _

_And I liked that, because doom and gloom was never my thing. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

She placed her hands on her stomach after she rearranged her uniform, finally feeling content with the fact that it had gone back to its original size. All those morning jogs from the past month had finally paid off, that and the special diet they had her on back at the castle, so she couldn't help but smile as she willed away the thought that it had been _thirty_ whole days since her arrival there.

"Why so happy?" Kouga questioned as he handed her the bill.

"Huh?" she replied as she looked up to him.

"The way you're smiling," he grinned back, "it's cute."

"I just achieved a personal goal of mine, nothing big," she shrugged before picking it up and turning around to hand the bill off to her last and most faithful customer, "here you go, Houjo-kun."

"Thank you, Kagome-chan," he smiled back, it had taken him the entire time month to convince her that it was appropriate to call each other that, after all they were the same age. "I have something extra for you."

"You shouldn't have," she assured the moment he handed her the package, "Houjo-kun, I can't accept this."

"Please," he pouted, "it's no burden for me. My father does have an herbal clinic. It's a new type of tea to help one relax."

"If you insist," she coaxed out as he stood up, "have a nice night, Houjo-kun."

"You as well," he nodded before heading out of the restaurant that closed early on the weekdays. She watched as Kouga walked out from behind the bar to lock up as she started to clear and clean down the tables.

"Why did you send all the others away?" Kagome questioned.

"It's a slow night," he shrugged before heading back to clear the counter.

"Yeah, but why keep me?"

"You are the only one that is always talking about all the things you like about working here while the others just bitch about it," he explained, "besides you're the best cleaner and I don't mind your company."

She just smiled before shaking her head and starting to whip down all the tables, "if you say so, Kouga."

"Hey, what are these?" Kagome asked as she picked up two dices once she was finished and sat at one of the stools.

"Me and few buddies of mine play cho-han every once and a while," he explained, "ever played?"

"I haven't the faintest idea what it is," she replied.

"You take these two dices," he started as she took them from her hand and picked up a cup to place them in it and shake it, "then you do this, now guess if the numbers will add up to be even or odd."

"Okay," she grinned as she folded her arms on the counter to lean forward some, "even."

He placed the cup on the table before pulling it up and showing the two that added up to seven, "sorry, odd."

"So that's the game? You just guess if it is odd or even? What's the point?"

"You place bets, you win money," he explained before his grin grew, "hey, you wanna make a bet? If I win you tell me something true about yourself before you arrived since you almost never do. If you win then I'll buy you dinner at Shinko Ai, the nicest restaurant in town, this Thursday since we both have it off."

"That sounds like a win-win for you," she taunted back with a slowly growing smile, "you are merely presuming that I'd enjoy your offer."

He smirked, "am I wrong?"

"Fine," she replied, "go for it, boss."

"A'right," he nodded before picking up the dice and putting them back in the cup before starting to shake, "even or odd?"

She bit her bottom lip before shrugging a shoulder, "I don't know, this is a big decision. How about you pick?"

"I'll go with odd, since you're an odd girl," he decided only to win another smile from her before putting it on the table, he took a peek under it before glancing up and letting his brows bend together, "hey, what's that?"

"What's what?" she questioned as she turned around to chance a glance, as soon as she did that he tipped a dice overly before revealing it to gain her attention. "Oh, look, you are wrong, it's even."

"Aw, look at that," he pouted, "looks like I owe you a dinner."

"Did you…?" she coaxed out with narrow eyes, "change the dice?"

"Why would I do that?" he asked as he tried to kill his smile, "I hate to lose, you're just a lucky girl."

"Am I?" she questioned, "we'll have to see about that, now won't we?"

"Yes we will," he whispered back with a wink.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Why are we doing this, again?" Inuyasha inquired as his wary golden gaze glanced around the town.

"Because friends spend time together," Kagome reminded, it was nothing big, nothing spectacular like getting a table at Shinko Ai, but it was their small tradition, a walk around town every other day whenever she wasn't working.

"Working tonight?" he asked, "or is it one of your rare days off?"

"I like working," she shrugged, "is there anything wrong with that? Don't you have a job or something, isn't that why you were gone last week with Miroku-sama?"

"We slay demons, get paid good and called away enough—" he stopped the moment she placed a hand on his chest to make him do so, horrified awe on her expression, "what?"

"That's dangerous!" She snapped, "you can't do that!"

"I've been doing this forever since… I met Kikyou, I helped her protect this place until…. Then Miroku came along and we made a job out of it. Don't worry about it," he asserted.

"Now I'm going to worry every time you go away," she countered before turning around to start their walk away, "that's so risky!"

"I don't see why you would, I almost never get hurt. Most of the time it's people being overly paranoid and Miroku just has to give them some talismans or something while he pretends to cleanse the place of evil spirits," he couldn't help but rolls his eyes.

"Inuyasha," Kagome began only to hear her name being shouted and instead turned her hazels to the boy with brown eyes that waved from them across the road. "Hello, Houjo-kun."

"Kun?" Inuyasha muttered before the boy came over to them.

"Hello, Kagome-chan," he nodded, "and…?"

"This is my friend Inuyasha," she explained as she placed a hand on his arm, ignoring all the while the fiery glare he gave her best customer, "having a nice day?"

"I am," he responded with a nod, "and you? Do you work today?"

"Nope, it's my day off," she cheerfully answered before a crew carrying decorations caught her eye, "is there a festival coming up?"

"The fall festival, it's the same time every year," Houjo explained before an 'oh' escaped, "that's right, you're new. There's always a show at the end of it with traditional music, singing, and dancing. It's amazing."

"That sounds wonderful, I'd love to go," Kagome quickly declared while she lightly hit Inuyasha, "why didn't you tell me?"

"It's impossible to get tickets to that show, it sells out by the end of every festival the year before," Inuyasha replied with a shrug, "didn't see the point, the festival's free, though, so you could go to that."

"Actually," Houjo dragged out until her eyes returned to him, "I have a spare ticket to the show this year, if you'd like to come with me, Kagome-chan."

"Seriously?" She awed, "that would be wonderful! I'd love to! When is it?"

"This Saturday night, are you working?"

She shook her head, "just that day, I'm off by five."

"Then I'll pick you up after work," he decided, "sound good?"

"Oh yes, thank you so much, Houjo-kun. Do you truly not mind taking me?"

"Of course not," he laughed but the moment he looked to the hanyou beside her his expression dimmed as he took a couple steps away before stuttering, "I have to go, but it's a date, I'll see you this Saturday."

"Great," she chimed, it took until he started off before something dawned on her and she turned her stunned hazels to annoyed ambers, "did he say… date?"

"Yep," he grumbled before she shoved him, "_what_?"

"Stop glaring at him," she ordered, but she supposed that was a sever improvement than the way he acted while around her boss. "I didn't know he was asking me on a date."

"What else was it?" He snapped as his irritated gaze shifted back to her, "that boy's always trying to court you."

"Court," she mocked, "that sounds so weird… and I didn't know. I thought he just meant as friends, why would I assume it was anything else? If you asked me to the show I wouldn't have thought it was a date, or Miroku-sama, or anyone else."

Inuyasha just rolled his eyes at that before he started off, "you're a moron."

"You're rude!" She shouted back while she followed him, "did you mother teach you nothing?"

Usually, saying something that was enough to make the hot-headed hanyou hush was an achievement for her but when she finally caught up to walk beside him the way he looked away from her instantly made her think twice before a daunting feeling began to creep within her… "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"It's fine," he murmured back.

"Your mom is a sore subject?" she guessed only to watch him nod once they broke the town bearing to reach the outskirts which consisted of a field of rice that just past it started the forest that surrounded the entire place. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged a shoulder before turning his attention back to her, it was evident she wouldn't ask but the way her eyes stuck on him said everything she wanted to know so he sighed and said, "she's dead. I'm a hanyou; I live longer than most mortals. She's been a dead for a long time."

"I'm sorry," she repeated, "it's hard, isn't it? I lost my mother when I was young, my father, too. There was a war in my world, he went off to fight in it and never came back… I must have only been six, I was thirteen when my mom fell ill and died, too."

"That's tough," he muttered, "my dad died the day I was born, my mom when I was about nine."

"That's _awful_," she insisted as she placed her hand on his upper arm, "did you have family to take you in? An uncle or anything?"

He shook his head, "I managed on my own, though. What about you?"

"The priestess of the town, Kaede-sama's other, took my otouto and I in. That's how I became one but I'm not anymore…" she murmured the end before letting her hand slip away from him, for a fraction of a moment he felt he should say something but… there was nothing that came to him before she asked, "do you have any family?"

"No," he admitted.

"That's really hard," she frowned as she took his hands into hers and squeezed them, but then again, that also explained a lot to her. Why he was the way he was… if he had to make it in the world all by himself since he was a child, on top of losing so much? "I'm sorry; I can't imagine how that'd be like. At least I had my… otouto."

"You miss him," he murmured only to see her nod weakly as her eyes fell to the dirt.

Honestly, he was taken aback by her overt display of sympathy for him—generally, such things would only annoy him but… but with her, it was amazing. It was obvious that he hadn't been that good to her, even in the month since she arrived, yet not only did she wanted to push past that and become friends, she could still empathize with him?

Only one other person in the world could have done that… but it was so different, Kagome clearly wore her emotions while his departed wife had hid them. Even though the girl before him had been through so much, she still reeked of innocence and had a youthful glow. Kikyou had never been like that, at least not when he knew her. She was mature, beyond her years even.

They _were_ different; it was just so hard for him to see that all the time… that's why he didn't know if when she released his hands the pang of regret he felt was for _her_ letting go or… Kikyou.

Maybe it was time he finally let her ghost stop haunting him?

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"That was," she coaxed out as she looked up to the stars while they strolled away from the extravagant restaurant, all the while trying to find the right word.

"Great?" he guessed with a grin, "or maybe that's just my take?"

She couldn't help but smile as she return her eyes to his, "I had fun, a lot of it. The food was _amazing_, too. You really should have let me pay for at least part of it."

"No, the man always pays, beside you won, remember?" he replied before slipping his arm around her waist.

"K-Kouga…" she cautiously started, "look, I like you but… I just got out of a very, very weird relationship. I don't even know what to call it—"

"Is that why you left wherever it is you're from?"

"You could say that," she decided warily, "and you're my boss. I love my job and would hate for it to be ruined by something like a failed relationship… Right now, I don't know if I can be more than friends with you."

It had been apparent throughout dinner that that was _exactly_ what he was aiming for, all his constant complements, the way his hand would find hers on the table, how his thumb would stroke her soft skin just before she pulled it away to pretend she needed a drink or to whip her lips. Even the way he looked at her throughout dinner… it made her feel special, like she was a prized gem.

"I see," he nodded as they stopped in front of her door and she turned fully to stand in front of him face-to-face. "I kinda figured something like that from the way you've been acting but you can't let that hold you back from living your life."

"I'm not even sure what I want in _my_ life," she countered, since she had never actually had the chance to live for _herself _and no one else, not since her mother's death at least. For a year, that was what she had to try and focus on—instead of the ache that came from being apart from a child she never even got to hold… if it was going to be a full year.

"I don't even know how long I'll be here."

"I get it," he assured as he took a step forward, only to force her to take another back. "The best things in life are worth waiting for, right? My dad always said I had to be more patient, so I'll wait, Kagome, until you're ready. I'll be here," he promised before leaning forward to kiss her upon the cheek.

It was a small gesture, his warm lips barely pressed at all against her skin and yet… her heart fluttered.

He was, after all, the first man to seemingly like her with no strings attach… at least none that she knew of, with a smile she wished him a goodnight before going in. She bit her bottom lip as she leaned against the door, waiting for only a couple of minutes before opening it, peeking out to make sure he was gone, and sprinting out to rush across town to a fine sized home, which she promptly knocked on.

"Kagome!" The gruff voice from within shouted, which surprised her even as he opened the door, "it's late, I was actually asleep for once."

"How'd you know it was me?" She awed.

"I could smell you," he replied as he tapped his nose, "remember?"

"I always forget about that," she answered before getting to the point, "how long have you known Akimoto Kouga?"

"Your boss?" he grumbled before letting out a heavy sigh, "why? Did that ass try somethin'?"

She shook her head before he reluctantly invited her in, "how it that I've been here a whole month and this is is my first time in your home?"

"I don't know," he mumbled before sitting down and rubbing his eyes, "what do you want, Kagome?"

"Tell me what you think about Kouga," she requested, "your honest opinion, is he a good guy?"

"I hate that bastard," he retorted eagerly, "he's an arrogant asshole who thinks just because he's a pureblood he's better than me. Well I say he can go fuck himself, that jackass…" but his words trailed off when he noticed how her shoulders sagged and eyes fell upon the floor. He withheld a groan before saying, "other than him being a complete asshole… he's an okay guy. I don't actually know him well, but he doesn't have a reputation around town for being a man-whore or anything. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Only if it's true."

"It's true, I think that guy just tends to his bar most of the time," he shrugged, "his dad's the pack leader of the local wolf gang, he gave Howling Times to Kouga to see if he was responsible enough to take over his role when he dies, at least that's what I hear. You've worked for him for a month; do you really need me to tell you that?"

"It's true," she nodded, "he's almost always there… I didn't know about his dad, though."

"Why…? You wanna date the dick or something?"

"Inuyasha," she sighed, "stop using such vulgar language."

"It's not vulgar when it's the truth," he grumbled with narrowed eyes, "I'm right, aren't I? You want that dirty wolf."

"That sounds inappropriate," she asserted before she began to fiddle with her fingers, "honestly, I don't know what I want right now… I just was curious, I guess."

"You smell like him, I thought you had today off," Inuyasha murmured.

"I saw him just a while ago," she shrugged, "anyway, thank you, Inuyasha, I'll see you later. You have a really nice home, by the way. I was expecting something more like…"

"A shack," he guessed only to see her cringe, "I get it, don't worry about it."

"No, Inuyasha, I didn't mean that," she assured as her eyes scanned around the lightly decorated walls, nothing to extreme, but enough to make it seem homey. "I just didn't see you as a guy with a lot of possessions."

"They're Kikyou's, this was our house," he answered, "she did all this."

"She has nice taste," she smiled before going towards the door, "have a nice night, Inuyasha."

_I wasn't lying… she did have nice taste. I wished in that moment that I could meet a man at least half devoted to me as Inuyasha appeared to be to her, it had been five years since her death and yet Miroku-sama and Sango-chan both told me how he had not once looked at another woman since that. To be loved so dearly be someone… I wanted that, someone who would cherish me, if only as half as much as he did her. That still would be an amazing amount of love._

_She had a husband, a family, and a beautiful home—why would she ever want to leave it all behind? Why would she have just let go?_

_I couldn't understand that. I never would._

* * *

_**A/N**: hope you enjoyed and **please **review! _

_I am thinking about getting a beta for this story, Sanity's Sinner, and Throes of Passion_. _I can re-read my work twice and still miss typos because in my head I know what should really be there. Anyone interested in betaing one, two or all three? I'd prefer someone that could get back to me after I send a document to be proofed in a day, two at most. Thanks._


	15. Oh Brother of Mine

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_5_: _Oh Brother of Mine_**.** °•.  
{…}

_It wouldn't have been the first time I found out he had lied to me. That much was obvious, but I was still surprised when it turned out that he did it again. At least this time his lie didn't hurt me, well, not intentionally at least._

"That was… amazing," Kagome awed while she turned her smile to the boy that sat next to her, "is it like that every year? It must be wonderful that your family always has tickets."

"It is," Houjo concurred with a nod of his head before he stood up, lending her hand so she could also rise up, "you don't seem too accustom to wearing your long yukata but it is beautiful, Kagome-chan."

"Thank you," she chimed before she looked down to the mostly blue fabric with pink petals, "I bought it just for this occasion."

"You did?" he awed as he tried to hide how his smile grew, "you didn't have to do that, Kagome-chan, I'm sure whatever you had would have been perfectly fine."

"I didn't have a yukata fit for festivals," she explained to gently fix the misconception she didn't realize she had implied until it was too late. "I kind of came to this town with nothing."

"Oh," he nodded, "I see… why?"

"It's a long story," she shrugged as they started their stroll out of the festival; it wasn't the first one she had been to. There were ones all the time in her world but… there was a difference. Her world was more advanced, she had lived in a village in the countryside so there wasn't a grave disparity between the two but if she had grown up in a city she surely would have missed all the things that did not exist in the world she was stuck in.

"You always seem to say that," Houjo pointed out.

"I guess I do," she shrugged as they came to a stop at the edge of the festival, "this was fun, Houjo-kun."

"This isn't your apartment," he replied as he took a quick glance around, "is it?"

"No it's my friend's house; I wanted to give these to her children," she said as she lifted the small bag she had, "the things I bought were for them. I'll see you later."

"We'll have to do something again soon," Houjo requested before she could move.

"Sounds good," she replied, at first she had no intention to but… he was sweet, even cute, and seemed a bit displeased that she was already calling it at night and she didn't see what harm it could cause so she leaned forward and gave him a small peck on the cheek. "Good night, Houjo-kun."

"Good night, Kagome-chan," he grinned goofily.

"Hello girls," greeted Kagome as soon as the twins answered the door, "should you two be opening the door without your parent's permission?"

"No, they shouldn't," Miroku proclaimed while he came into the front room, "you girls know better."

"Ops," they chimed.

"Kagome-sama, how are you?" Miroku asked as he closed the door behind her while she knelt down to pull out the two dolls she had bought to hand to them, "I see you went to the fall festival, we took the kids earlier today."

"Whoa!" Akira chimed while her sister awed a, "wow!"

"I thought you two might like those," she smile before standing up, "sorry for showing up unannounced, Miroku-sama."

"No worries," he assured with a wake of his hand.

"Kagome-chan!" Sango declared with a smile as she walked into the room, lighting bouncing her son on her side to keep him amused, "this is a nice surprise, you look adorable, were you at the fall festival?"

"I was, I actually came to see you, Sango-chan, can we talk?"

"Of course," she replied with a nod of her head once they were in the sitting area she sighed, "I hope Inuyasha hasn't done something again."

"No, it hasn't to do with him," Kagome countered as Sango handed off her baby to her, "oh, Masaaki you are getting so big!"

"It must be so hard for you… that whole situation was strange but to be separated from your son like that, Kagome-chan, I can't imagine how that feels. I don't even know how you're managing to be so positive," Sango sympathized as she watched Kagome lightly swing Masaaki to earn a gleeful giggle, "you'd be so good with your boy, too."

"There's nothing I can do about it right now so… I just have to be optimistic, I have to have hope," she replied, even if at times hope could be as paralyzing as fear. "If I don't… I don't know how I could go on. I hate feeling depressed, too, so I try my best not to."

"I heard Watanabe-sama talking to Inuyasha once on the rare occasions he chanced a journey back here but I never knew where Inuyasha was going, I never knew what he was doing… it took until near the end for Miroku to wiggle the truth out of Watanabe… Your world sounds like a strange place," she murmured, "no offense."

"What occurred wasn't normal at all," she assured fervently, "Watanabe-sama said that the plan was always to have our son brought here. I understand why Inuyasha did it, he thought it would be a second chance to have his… his boy that…" she shook her head lightly, "poor Inuyasha."

"He is managing a lot better this time, I've noticed," Sango couldn't help but point out with a bit of a smile, "I think it's because of you. The way you are with him. That you've forgiven him for his deceitful behavior, at least partly."

"I have," she admitted softly, "there's no point in holding a grudge, and when I think about it I should have known better… I guess, my real problem with it is I don't understand Watanabe-sama's motives, either of them."

"Watanabe-sama, well mine, wants to keep the other one from destroying ours," Sango explained, but that wasn't the first time she heard it. "I can't imagine what yours was thinking, asking a woman to do what he made you do."

"That's not what I came here to talk about," she countered, "I want to talk about Akitoki Houjo."

"The Akitoki family is influential, a pillar of this town even, his father is the lead healer of the town, if anyone gets sick they go to him or Kaede-sama, and for herbal remedies Akitoki's shop is the best. Whenever Akira or Akiko get sick I always go there," Sango started, "why?"

"Houjo-kun's under the impression we went on a date tonight," she slowly started. "And… it was nice. He's sweet but... I guess I'm wary of men now. I haven't known him that long… I trust your opinion, Sango-chan."

"That's always nice to hear," she chimed, "well, Akitoki Houjo is a sweetheart, everyone knows that. He's shy but popular and I don't think he has ever courted a girl before."

"Must we use the word 'court'?"

"What do you call it your world?"

"Dating, you know, since you go on a _date_ with a boy so it's dating," Kagome explained, "courting just sounds strange to me…"

"Okay," Sango shrugged, "he has never dated a girl before, not for lack of interest. Girls want him."

"Because he's from an affluent family?" Kagome guessed, "and rich?"

"Exactly, he must know you don't care about either of those, that's probably why he likes you."

"So, Houjo-kun is… safe," Kagome determined before poking Masaaki's nose, "you are _adorable_."

"He likes you," Sango smiled.

"I like him, too."

_He was, after all, the exact same age as my son. I felt like all the time I spent with Masaaki was like practice for when I found my son. I just hoped that he would forgive me for the time apart._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Fall was her favorite season, the temperature was mild, it meant harvest and apparently the farms around town were having a nice one, and the way the trees changed colors was beautiful. She tried to keep her mind focus on all of those positives instead of the nagging negative…

"K-Kagome," someone stuttered to slowly catch her attention.

"Hello," she greeted gingerly as her eyes turned to the wary boy behind her, "Souta."

"Hi," he replied, "um… how are you? A… are you adjusting to this world?"

"I think so," she coaxed, "how are you?"

He nodded until, "okay, I guess."

"I'll be seeing you then," she supposed but before she could fully turn around to continue her aimless walk she heard him cry out.

"Wait, please… I know you aren't Kikyou but… I miss her, Inuyasha says you miss my other, your real brother but… I was wondering if you wanted to do something together… as long as you are here," he stammered before his brown eyes fell to the floor, "but if you don't want to, I understand."

_Did I feel sorry for him? Yes, of course. Did I really want to? A part of me, but I knew it wasn't right… I knew he'd only see me as Kikyou but then I realized… I'd only ever see him as my otouto, too._

"What were you thinking?" she questioned, "I'm free, I just got off work."

"Really?" he chimed, a smile instantly flashing across his face, "I don't know, I didn't think you'd actually say yes… no offense, so what do you want to do?"

"The fall festival is still going on, do you want to walk through it?" an eager nod was his response, so they turned down the next route and started towards the middle of the town where all the booths were stationed. "I love festivals, what about you?"

"Oh, yeah, they're great," he nodded, "my favorite part is all the games."

"I like all the crafts, the artwork, it's all so pretty," she smiled as she loosely locked her fingers behind her back. "And it's such a nice night, too."

"Yeah, it won't last too long before winter comes, it gets pretty bad here, really cold, it sometimes even snows."

She shivered at the very thought, "the village I'm from has mild weather all year round."

"It's weird how you don't live in the same place as us… I guess Inuyasha's right."

"About what?"

"That your world is a lot different than ours. That even the small different decisions that our others make can slowly change everything. It's weird," Souta murmured as his gaze flickered from booth to booth.

"Inuyasha said that?" somehow, that seemed like progress.

"Yeah, but I guess I get it," Souta shrugged, "after all, the decisions you made mean… you're still alive. The ones that Inuyasha made mean he's alive while his other is dead… I wonder if you two met like Inuyasha and Kikyou then maybe he wouldn't be."

"I never thought about that," she replied before placing her hand on his shoulder to pull him to one of the booths, a bright smile on her face as she picked up two sticks after paying the seller, "I love these, don't you? And it's perfect since the sun's finally set."

"Yeah," Souta gleamed as took the one that she handed him eagerly, "my mom doesn't like me playing with them, she thinks I'll burn myself or someplace down."

"Don't worry, I won't let either of those things happen," she assured with a wink as she lit a match, first she waved it above his stick to get it to start to sparkle before her own, her smile only grew as he started to wave it around in the air, laughing at the lines it made in the dark sky.

The sparks of white that glittered about the stick as she slowly moved it about was enough to amuse her, even if most of the time her eyes were on Souta to make sure he didn't harm himself or anyone else—after all, his mother probably have a very good reason to think he may.

"Whoa, Souta," Kagome quickly stated as she grabbed his arm to yank him back before he bumped into another person, "be a bit more careful, you could have burned him."

"Sorry," Souta shouted to the passerby before smiling up to her, "thanks, Kagome. Can we get some mochi, Kagome? Please! I never get sweets."

"Okay, okay," Kagome assured with a gentle pat upon his back, "we'll do that, what time do you need to be home?"

"I told my mom I was going to spend time with you, I don't think she'll be worried."

"Your mom doesn't know me, I would be concerned if I were her," Kagome countered.

"But you are Kikyou's other…" he murmured.

"But I'm not her," Kagome softly replied, "Souta… will you tell me about her?"

_It was something I had always wanted to ask Inuyasha but every time I got close to it I realized what a mistake that would be. Every time she came up there was this look on his face… such sorrow, such hopelessness. I never wanted to be the cause of that look but I always yearned to know what she did that clenched his heart so tightly—what an amazing person she must have had to be._

"She was strong, best priestess Kaede-sama says she'd ever seen, she was always really mature too, as far back as I can remember. She always took more on her shoulder than she should have, always thinking that she needed to help everyone in trouble. She was so independent, by the time she was fourteen she moved out of the house to train full time with Kaede-sama. By sixteen her and Inuyasha met, by eighteen she was married—"

"Is that normal?" She questioned, "to get married at such a young age?"

"Yeah, here," he nodded, "what about in your world?"

"Twenty to twenty-three is generally when woman get married," she answered, "go ahead."

"My mom said she never worried about Kikyou getting married too early, she said it was always like Kikyou knew how old her soul really was, and that she would never have said yes to Inuyasha in less she was certain. By twenty… she was dead."

"I'm sorry for your loss," she whispered.

"You're not like her," Souta asserted, "no offense, it's just… Kikyou's smile is so different than yours. I love my sister but her smile, it was always tragic, always a tinge sad, like she couldn't ever be truly happy when she knew that there were other people that were miserable out there. She wanted to save everyone… she'd work day and night to help the sick and poor in our town."

"I care about other people," Kagome countered, "you don't think I do?"

"I'm not saying that," Souta assured as he looked up to her, "I'm sure you do. Your smile isn't sad, it's happy."

"I think that's how smiles should be."

"Me, too," he nodded.

_Kikyou and I were different. It took until I was twenty to become independent, she managed it by fourteen. I don't think myself mature, but apparently she had been since her brother's birth. But talking to him didn't make me feel terrible, just less than her. The way she went out of her way to help others… she sounded like an amazing person. _

_But if her smile was always sad, then she must not have had too much joy in her heart. It made me understand just a little bit more how she could let go of her life. _

_It was wrong of her all the same. How could she not think of Inuyasha? You should never be the cause of such pain in those you loved if you could have prevented.  
_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Silently she stood in front of the well that had brought her to the strange foreign world; of course she tried off and on whenever she could to see if it worked but… nothing. Perhaps Watanabe was right after all; maybe it would be an entire year. She sighed at the thought before turning around to take a stroll through the forest that threatened to eat away at the small clearing the well was within. Paranoid that was all it was. Her not feeling fully safe in a word that wasn't her own, she kept telling herself that every time she heard a crackle from the trees, whenever she felt a demonic presence stalking her.

Why would a youkai want to hurt her…? Then again, did they need a reason?

She tried to calm her breathing when she reached a grand tree, one that was so old that its roots were thicker than the size of her body as they shot out of the ground.

"Who's there?" She shouted as she turned about to look and see that there wasn't anyone in sight… "you're being silly, Kagome."

"Are you talking to yourself?" A grunted inquired from right behind her, sparking her to jump and grasped her chest before she twirled around to see a dog eared man.

"Inuyasha!" She shrieked as her brows bent together and she stomped a foot upon the ground, "you scared me!"

"You noticed him following ye," an elder lady declared as she made her way over to the two, "impressive, child."

"You were following me?" Kagome gasped as she glared at the hanyou, "friends don't stalk friends, Inuyasha!"

"I wasn't stalking you!" He growled back, "it's for your own protection!"

"My own protection?" She rejoined, "how so? What's in your world that I need to be so scared of, _Inuyasha_?"

"People, Kagome," he retorted as he folded his arms firmly on his chest, "people hurt other people, no matter what world you're in. Besides, everyone knows how dangerous it is in the forest! Youkais lurk out here, the bad ones."

"You have such a gloomy outlook," she sighed, not yet ready to let her expression turn from the stern stare to something lighter, "never stalk me like that again."

"I wasn't—"

"Inuyasha," the elder lady stared to gain both of their attention, "ye have been misbehaving quite a bit since Kikyou's death."

"Don't get me started with you, Kaede," Inuyasha ordered with a golden glare fixated upon her.

"You should listen to her," Kagome asserted, "translated, it means _don't_ stalk me."

"I wasn't stalking you! That makes me sound insane!"

"Or like a crazy ex-boyfriend, exactly what you said you wouldn't act like!"

"What the hell's a boyfriend?" Inuyasha grunted with a raised brow, "I'm a guy and we're supposed to be friends, so wouldn't that mean…?"

"No," she shook her head and waved her hands lightly, "a boyfriend is someone that a girl is dating—courting, that's the right term here, isn't it?"

"No," he asserted, "someone you're courting would be your man, not boyfriend. That sounds stupid."

"My man," she rolled her eyes at the idea, "well you aren't my ex-man, so stop acting like it."

"I'm not! I'm telling you this forest is dangerous, I noticed you wander off in this direction and just wanted to make sure you wouldn't do something stupid!"

"Jerk!"

"You—"

"Children!" Kaede shouted enough to make them both go mute while she pulled out a set of purple pray beads, "this is for your own good, Inuyasha."

"What's for my own good?" he grumbled with narrowed eyes, "I ain't one for praying, Kaede."

"And for Kagome-sama's protection," Kaede added before holding up the beads before starting a mumbled chant, before Inuyasha could question her again the beads split apart and shot out to wrap around his neck, each glowing their own hue of purple.

"Kaede!" Inuyasha shouted as he grasped them to try and pull them off only to have no luck, "what the hell!"

"You won't be able to take those off, Inuyasha," Kaede asserted before turning her only good eye to Kagome, "pick a word, Kagome-sama."

"A word?" she coaxed out as her eyes shifted from Kaede to the struggling hanyou before her, "I'm lost, what's going on?"

"Pick a word to punish him," Kaede requested.

"Punish?" she dragged out with a pout but before she could ask why she decided stalking was a good enough reason, when her glance shifted across him it was his ears that caught her attention, "is it going to hurt him?"

"No," Kaede assured.

"Sit," Kagome ordered, in a flash Inuyasha slammed to the ground. She gasped quickly as she covered her mouth before falling to her knees beside him, "are you okay!"

"He's a hanyou, that barely hurt him," Kaede soothed, "isn't that right, Inuyasha?"

"Damn you old hag!" Inuyasha hissed as he pulled his face out of the ground, "what black magic is this!"

"When you learn to behave and treat Kagome-sama properly, I will remove the pray beads, until then _behave_ yourself," Kaede ordered before straightening her bent back as much as she could and starting back on her way.

"Kaede! Come back here and take this off right now!"

"I'm afraid I have a client waiting for me at my home," Kaede replied, "I have to go now."

"You old witch!" He screamed, "come back!"

"What? So every time I say sit," she cringed when he slammed to the ground again, "I guess that's it… every time I say—"

"If you say that word one more time I'll kill you!" Inuyasha warned before prying himself off the ground and jumping to his feet, "this isn't funny, Kagome!"

"Neither is you stalking me!"

"I wasn't!" he screamed back.

"Fine," she sighed as she stood up, "let's just call it a truce, okay?"

A pair of narrowed fiery liquid golden eyes as he growled and turned around to look at the tree they stood beside, "fine, whatever."

"It doesn't sound like you mean that, it _sounds_ like you are still mad," Kagome softly asserted with a pout while she slowly walked up to him, "I didn't know what she was doing, Inuyasha. I promise not to say the word, okay?"

"I hate that old hag, she's always had it out for me," he grumbled, "she thinks I'm too rowdy or somethin'."

"I'm sure she means well," Kagome kept up as she placed her hand on his back, "just settle down, Inuyasha."

It took quite a few deep breaths before he managed to relax even a fragment, his golden gaze washing over the tree in front of him the entire time, "this is what the Goshinboku tree looks like in my world."

"The one in the courtyard?" she questioned as her attention turned to it, "it's prettier here."

"Yeah… Kikyou and I came here a lot," he murmured.

"Do you believe in soul mates?" she softly asked to earn his curious golden gaze.

"I… I don't know," he replied while her hazels left him to return to the beautiful tree, "why?"

"Do you think that I'll never find love like you did?" she whispered, "if two people are meant to be together… then I won't, right? Your other is dead. Wasn't he supposed to be to me what you were to Kikyou?"

"I don't know if that's how it works," he answered, slowly her wary hazels moved back to meet his ambers, "Watanabe says that there are some people in my world that don't exist in yours and vice-versa because two people never got married and met someone different."

"Do you think that's why Kikyou and I have a different name when the rest of you have the same as your other?"

He shrugged a shoulder, "I don't know but it's more than that with you two. There's even an age difference, Kikyou was eighteen when we got married, nineteen when we found out she was… and twenty when she died. You turned twenty while at the castle."

"Is that normal?"

"I have no idea," he answered.

"Are you sure that I'm Kikyou's other?" Kagome asked, "if we're so different in those two regards when no one else is with theirs?"

"I'm sure," he asserted before pulling out a photo from inside his robes, "cameras don't exist in our world but one of the guys that went over to do recon work in yours brought one back with him. I got Kikyou to let me take a picture of her with it once."

"She looks happy," Kagome whispered as she took the obviously warn black and white photo from him, "when was this?"

"Right after… we found out that she was," but he couldn't say it; he couldn't get the last word out. Still, she understood what he was getting out—pregnant. "Look at how much you two look alike, you could be twins, you smell so similar, and Kaede says that your spiritual energy matches Kikyou's almost perfectly."

_I never really had a doubt that I was her other… and whatever small fleeting one I may have had in that moment faded when I saw the picture. It was looking at me, except she kept her hair straight while mine had waves._

"I'm sorry for your lost, Inuyasha," Kagome murmured as she handed him the photo back, which he quickly returned to its place.

"Yeah, me too," he mumbled before his attention swiftly shifted to the trees to their left before she could ask he grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to him, "stay close."

"Why?" she questioned only to have the answer come as a yellow glowing slash, if not for Inuyasha grabbing her waist to leap backwards it would have sliced them both instead of a couple of roots.

"You dirty bastard!" Inuyasha shouted while he took a step in front of Kagome, "what the fuck do you want this time?"

"I see you've degraded yourself yet again with another human wench," the silver haired youkai asserted as he stepped out of the tree line, his harsh golden gaze narrowed about the hanyou. "As always, you are an utter disappointment, Inuyasha."

"Always the asshole, Sesshomaru," Inuyasha retorted, "I thought I told you not to come around here anymore."

"Believe me; I would normally never demean myself by being in your presence," he rejoined as he glanced behind the red robed hanyou to see the hazel eyed girl, "I thought your wench killed herself, how is it that she's beside you?"

"That's not what happened!" Inuyasha growled back, "get lost now, Sesshomaru and I won't—"

"Don't pretend that you are stronger than me, _hanyou_," he hissed as if the word was the most vile of insults before he lifted his hand to flick another yellow slash towards them, again Inuyasha grabbed Kagome to leap the side but that time they didn't get a down time, another and another and another came after them.

"What's going on?" Kagome questioned once he put her down and pushed her away, "Inuyasha!"

"Run now, get away from here," Inuyasha ordered.

"But—"

"No buts, this guys my brother, now go!"

"Brother?" She gawked, "you said you didn't—!"

"Run away!"he asserted before pushing her towards the trees, "now! I'll be fine!"

_I just thought that was how youkai siblings fought, I didn't know much of about how they acted. Maybe it was just a scuff, so I listened to him and started off. Like I said, it wouldn't have been the first time he lied to me. All the same, I was surprised when it turned out he did it again, especially when it was about something so simple as family. _

A scream forced her feet to stop right before she reached the outskirt of the forest, one from Inuyasha. Without a thought she turned around to start to rush through the trees and back to him, as soon as she breeched them and leaped out into the small clearing around Goshinboku. What she saw caused her to pause as her brows furrowed together, Inuyasha on his knees while his brother held his neck tightly and other hand raised right about his eye with only two fingers extended, a strange yellow electricity zapping between the two before a black pearl was pulled out and into Sesshomaru's hand.

It was then that he casted his half-brother aside before stomping on his head and throwing the pearl in the air to open a black portal.

"Inuyasha!" She cried out as she rushed over to drop down beside the hanyou, "Inuyasha!"

Sesshomaru merely shook his head at the sight that repulsed him before he walked through the black screen only to disappear right before Kagome's awe-struck hazels.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha groaned as his hand reached out to grab his bleeding nose, "damn fucker, where'd he go?"

"Through that thing," Kagome answered after pointing to the portal, "you okay?"

"What the hell's that thing?"

"I don't know how to answer that… some black pearl came out of your eye and he turned it into a gateway, seriously, are you okay?"

"I'll be better once I kill that bastard," Inuyasha growled back as he leaped to his feet to start towards it only to be stopped by her grabbing his hand, "let go!"

"I'm not letting you go! It's dangerous!" She argued as she tried to yank him backwards only to have him yank forward, "Inuyasha! I will say the word! You don't know what's through that place, it could be a trap!"

"Let go!" he ordered with another pull that through them both off balance to topple through the portal. Quickly, he grabbed her to keep her close before they cascaded out of the darkness and into the sky. He was the first to land on the ground before placing her down.

"Where…?" she whispered before her attention shifted to the large skeleton in front of them.

"This is weird," he murmured, "really weird."

"We should go," Kagome asserted, "I'm done being set to different places through a weird portal."

"You stay here, I'm going to get Sesshomaru," he growled before leaping off to the entrance of the bones.

"Like I'm doing that," she scoffed. She didn't know what help she would be, but that didn't mean she'd let his clearly full-blood youkai brother and him fight out whatever their problem was. The last time she left him alone he was defeated… the next time it could be worse. Much worse. Unlike him, though she could just leap across the obstacles, she had to crawl over some of the bones, under, and walk around them to get to the only entrance she could find.

Once she entered the place she saw Sesshomaru reach for a rusted sword that seemed to be cemented to the ground, but it didn't budge when he pulled on it—instead it shocked him away. That was when Inuyasha got up from his apparent slam down to leap at his brother and start to claw at him.

_Any squabble Souta and I had paled in comparison, that's what I thought in that moment as I fully entered it._

"Inu—" she began to shout only to let her tone die down when she realized that drawing attention to herself probably wasn't in her best interest. As soon as she stepped in the crackle from below her feet caught her attention, it was naïve of her—dumb, even—but she shrieked when she noticed that it was bones and skulls that she was stepping on—_human_ it appeared.

But hers was overshadowed by a growl forced her to look over to see Sesshomaru shift into a grand white dog that slammed his paw down where Inuyasha once as.

"Kagome! Leave!" Inuyasha ordered once he caught sight of her from the corner of his eyes, "now!"

"No!" She shouted back, she hadn't any idea what she was going to do to help but… she couldn't just leave him when his enemy was about ten times his size and brother's drool dripped out and seemed to destroy the bones it touched.

She stumbled over the bones to find the only area that wasn't covered in them, the concrete around the rusty sword that Sesshomaru had tried to pull free. Just to stay stable she wrapped her hands around the handle. The whole time her eyes on the hanyou that dodged almost every attack until… a pair of sharp claws clashed against his skin to force him onto the ground, "Inuyasha!"

Reflexively she jerked forward, taking the sword out of the concert along the way while she ran forward. That seemed to catch Sesshomaru's attention enough that his grips were loosened enough that Inuyasha's claws could cut into his paw and force him to retract it. That's all the time it took for Inuyasha to roll over and leap off the ground and towards Kagome, instantly pushing her behind him when he got there.

"I told you to _leave_," he growled between clenched teeth, "is that so hard to understand?"

"I know I'm not much help but… I couldn't leave you," she replied.

"That's right, you aren't any help," he retorted before glancing to the sword in her hand with a cocked brow, "how'd you get that out? When Sesshomaru tried he only got himself shocked. It didn't budge for me either."

"Oh," she chimed as she looked to her hands, "I hadn't even noticed."

"Moron," he grumbled as he snatched it from her, "why the hell does he want this piece of crap?"

"Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted as she pointed towards his brother as he slashed down his claws towards them, the hanyou grabbed her hand leaped away quick enough to avoid it.

"Leave!" He ordered while he pointed towards the door, "now, Kagome!"

"Come with me," she requested as she grabbed his red robe, "please? Why fight your brother?"

"He's an ass," he asserted, but he still exited the bones with Kagome just to get her out of there and stall the massive creature that would have to break out of it.

"Why? He is your brother," she kept up until a smash sparked her to leap closer to him, "can all youkais do that?"

"Change?" Inuyasha guessed, "no, not all. Now either get out of her or stay behind me."

"I'll stay out of the way," she assured, "please be safe!"

"Uh-huh," he nodded before jumping forward and away, to get Sesshomaru's attention to go elsewhere. It was then that he realized he was still holding the sword he deemed useless when his brother's paws slashed down at him.

"Fuck," he murmured once Sesshomaru's red eyes shifted down to the mortal maiden before he raised his paw up to attempt to slam down on her, it was purely reflexive that he wrapped his hand around the handle of the sword tighter before leaping forward to try and get to her in time. He barely paid any heed to the fact that the sword's weight changed in his hand until that seemed to gain Sesshomaru's furious gaze.

That was enough to get him to chance a glance at the sword as well… the extremely different sword.

"What the—?" he barely started before noticing Sesshomaru's claws heading in his direction. He didn't care how it happened, he was just glad it did, so he wrapped both his hands around the sword and slashed at his brother's arm, to allow blood to flow free, the sound of his so-called brother's cry of pain was almost enough to make him smile.

"How's that, Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha smirked, "this why you want this thing, eh?"

He leaped forward to slash at him again and again; it was great to finally have him backing away instead of him. When Sesshomaru tried to strike at him once more he put all his might into cutting his arm, if not for Kagome crying out his name in that moment he may have ripped it all the way off. The wound was enough to get Sesshomaru to retreat, transforming back into his mortal appearance and zooming off to the black portal that began to close the moment he went through it.

"What the hell? I almost had him!" Inuyasha screamed once he landed on the ground next to her.

"Why do you want to cut off your brother's arm?"

"Did you not see him try to kill me? Or you for that matter?"

"He didn't try to kill me," she countered and in all honesty that's what she thought, she hadn't even noticed the attempt at being squashed... her attention was too focused on Inuyasha, "wasn't that just how you youkais squabble?"

"No! He hates my guts and wants me dead! We don't necessarily have a normal family situation going on!" Inuyasha shouted before kneeling down, "get on, we gotta get out of here _now_."

"Where is here?" She questioned as she wrapped her arms around his neck before he leaped up, she gasped at the sudden force and held onto him tighter for fear of slipping.

"Apparently this is my dad's tomb, I don't know what he put it in my eye… or how he got it in a pearl to start out with," he grumbled, "this sword was our dad's, the Tessaiga, he was legendary for the power it wields. I knew Sesshomaru was looking for it but neither of us knew where he left it. I don't get how you were able to pry it when Sesshomaru and I couldn't…"

"When'd you try?" she asked once they transported through the portal to land back in front of the Goshinbuko tree. Once they were on the other side, the black portal vanished back into the pearl that fell back into his eye.

"Before you got there," he replied as he squatted to allow her off of him.

"That's weird," she murmured, "the whole pearl in the eye thing... is that normal?"

"Not that I'm aware of," he shrugged as he rubbed his eye.

"I love pearls," she chimed, "they're so pretty."

"Do you?" he questioned while his attention shifted to her fully, "now—"

"You die," Sesshomaru finished as he stabbed his poisonous claws through his hanyou brother's stomach, "and I'll be taking the Tessaiga."

"What's wrong with you!" Kagome shrieked, "he's your brother!"

"He's a filthy hanyou," Sesshomaru hissed, "might as well take care of you while I'm—"

An arrow shot past his head to gain his attention then, "leave, youkai."

"Make me," Sesshomaru dared the elder priestess, the next arrow she shout was covered in an energy blast before she cocked another bow, "priestess, I will kill you."

"Try it, youkai, I've slain stronger creatures than ye," Kaede warned, "you are obviously very wounded, would ye like to take the chance that I do not know what I am doing, youkai?"

"I'll be back, mortal, to take what's rightfully mine," Sesshomaru warned before cautiously making his exit, never allowing his venomous stare to leave the young mortal until he was gone.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted again as she fell down beside him to turn him over gently, still it caused him to cringe, "Kaede-sama! Help him, please! You are a great healer, aren't you?"

"Bring him this way, child," Kaede requested with a nod, "my hut is nearby, quickly now before he loses too much blood."

_I never felt so helpless as I did in that moment. I was useless to Inuyasha during his fight with Sesshomaru, worse I could never nurse him back to health with such a terrible wound. I was no good to him. Kikyou could have protected him, Kikyou would never have let such a fate fall upon him, and even if it did Kikyou held the ability to fix him._

_I didn't understand why people couldn't see how different we were, how little I was in comparison._

_Inuyasha, why didn't you notice that?_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Hey," she softly greeted with a subtle smile as she leaned forward to the finally stirring hanyou, "I take it back, you should have cut off _both _your brother's arms."

_I remember that earned a smile, a weak one, an "ouch my body hurts all over but that was amusing" one, but it was enough to make my heart go bump-bump._

"Don't move," she gently requested as she placed her hand on his shoulder, "or talk, you got a pretty bad wound there. Just rest."

"No work?" he managed to get out all the same.

"I told Kouga I couldn't make it in today," she replied with a small shrug, "don't worry about it."

He couldn't help but grin at that before letting his heavy lids fall again, she let her hand slid down his bare chest to the bandages before her attention turned to the elder lady who walked into the room with Inuyasha's mended robe in her hands, "he will pull through, you made the right decision in allowing me to tend to him instead of Akitoki-sama."

"I never even consider the option," Kagome asserted.

"Most do," Kaede admitted as she handed his robe to Kagome, "over the years I have learned how to fix his fire rat's robe. The fool gets it wrecked in battle often."

"Will you teach me?" Kagome questioned quickly to earn a peculiar look from the elder lady. "I want to be able to help him someway..."

"Aye, child, I will teach ye," Kaede nodded before saying, "Akikoti-sama would not know what to do with Inuyasha, only I know how to treat a hanyou. They are very rare."

"Does that mean he has troubles being one?" Kagome asked her hazels shifted back down to the slumbering man.

"I imagine he must have had many, when he first arrived he was given the cold shoulder. Many people think that a mix between youkais and humans are unholy, I believe that people are slowly starting to accept it."

"That was the case a decade ago in my world," Kagome inserted, "people have generally come to accept it but there is still prejudice against them."

"Since he aided Kikyou in protecting the town for so long, everyone has accepted him and were pleased when the two protectors wed."

"You knew Kikyou-sama didn't you?"

"Yes, I taught her everything… I can see a great deal of spiritual energy emanating from you, Kagome-sama, have you ever considered becoming a priestess?"

"I used to be but… not anymore," Kagome shrugged, "can you teach me about herbs, Kaede-sama? I know a bit from my former instructor but I would like to be able to help if—Kami forbid—anything happened to Inuyasha or anyone else I care about for that matter."

There was a pause before Kaede nodded, "aye, child, I'll teach ye."

She couldn't help but smile while Kaede exited the room only to hear a very weak, "Kaede's one of the best. Any wanna-be priests or priestess come from all over Japan to try and get her to teach them. She hasn't accepted anyone since Kikyou."

Playfully, she hit him ever so lightly, "were you eavesdropping? And what part of rest and don't talk did you not understand?"

"I only heard the part about herbs," he tried to shrug only to cringe in pain instead, "fuck Sesshomaru… but I'm glad you're doing that."

"Why?"

"When you are good enough," he wheezed, "then you can start to work with her instead of as a bar wench."

"That's such a terrible term," she asserted with a roll of her eyes, "as long as you are so talkative, you and Sesshomaru are only half-brother's, right? Through your dad?"

That finally got him to close his eyes and at least pretend to be asleep again. Family was always such a touchy subject.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Her arms reached above her head to stretch away all her swore spots but no matter how often she did that they wouldn't go away. With a sigh she picked up a drink from the bar only to have a callous hand grab her soft one, "huh?"

"You okay?" Kouga asked, "you couldn't come to work because of an emergency, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, it wasn't me," she assured with a nod, "Inuyasha got hurt, I was worried about him, it was pretty bad."

"Ah," he murmured as he retracted his hand, "you two… were you a thing once, weren't you?"

"No," she asserted swiftly, "no, no, no."

Her denial only got him to cock a brow and ask, "Do you want to be?"

Her mouth dropped open at that before she shook her head, "no."

"Then do you want to go to dinner again?" he grinned as he leaned against the counter to be closer to her.

That sparked another pause before she shrugged, "sure."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Okay, tomorrow," she nodded.

"I'll see you then," Kouga grinned before he turned the reigns over to Ginta, one of the two other bartenders of Howling Times. She greeted him before taking the drink and placing it upon the table of her most loyal customer.

"Did you have fun the other night, Kagome-chan?" Houjo inquired, "I did."

"I had a lovely time," she assured.

"I've noticed you rubbing your neck, swore muscles?" Houjo guessed as he pulled out a small packet, "if you put this in hot water, dap a towel on it then your neck and you'll be as good as new by tomorrow."

"I have two tickets to a concert that is coming to town this weekend, I was wondering if you had Sunday night off if you'd like to come with me. It's Gagaku."

"Sure," she replied before thinking, he downed his tea quickly before putting down the money for his meal and standing up.

"I have to go meet my parents, I'll see you later," Houjo smiled, it wasn't until he reached the door that it dawned on her what she had just done. It a small span of time she had made plans with two men… that was horrible of her.

_Worse yet, all my thoughts were locked on a certain silver haired hanyou's well being._

* * *

_**A/N**: __hope you enjoyed and **please **review! Reviews not only make me very happy but promoted to update faster. Ah, and I was talking to a friend and decided to enable anonymous reviewers again. _

_Oh, and don't worry, die hard Inu/Kag readers out there. Just give it time. __  
_


	16. Around We Go

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_6_: _Around We Go_**.** °•.  
{…}

"That stings, wench," hissed Inuyasha, while he slipped his top back on, with his fixated burning sunlit stare upon the maiden that tried to aid him. "Must you do that?"

"It's for your own good," Kagome rejoined while she put the lid back on the jar in her hands, "I'm helping; a _thank you_ would be nice."

"Thank you for putting that ointment on my wound to make it sting like a bitch," he reworded harshly.

"Ha," she dryly laughed while she rolled her eyes, "you are so touchy."

"How about I lather that smelly shit on a wound of yours and _you_ tell me how much you like it?" he grumbled, "I told you I don't need it. I'll heal."

"From a huge venom filled gap in your gut?" Kagome rhetorically questioned, "I think not. Besides, even though it hurts briefly doesn't it numb the pain for a while? Who would have thought a big strong hanyou like you would be such a _baby_?"

"You annoying little," he grumbled before biting his tongue.

"Little what?" Kagome questioned but before he could find a less coarse word she smacked her neck and watched as a flatted bug fell to the floor only to see Inuyasha slam his fist upon it. "What was that? A mosquito?"

"Worse," he gripped as he picked up the insect, "it's a flea, a dirty little flea."

"Mi'lord," it squeaked as he popped back into a proper size, "you are so cruel!"

"Why didn't you tell me Sesshomaru was looking for me?" Inuyasha growled as he squatted him in-between his fingers, "you had to know, you little bastard."

"I meant to, mi'lord, I truly did!" Myoga countered quickly, "but when I arrived Sesshomaru-sama was already there so what more could I do?"

"Run away like the little coward you are," he growled, "that's what you did, didn't ya'?"

"I noticed that you are the one that now holds the Tessaiga," Myoga swiftly changed the subject before hoping out of the home to carry back in a black seethe, "this was left in my care by your father. He told me once you were able to retrieve the sword it would be yours."

"Great something for," Inuyasha grunted as he grabbed the seethe and slid the sword in, "this rusty piece of crap that I can't get to change."

"Mi'lord, I am sure it will only take practice," Myoga insisted.

"Hey, you didn't get it out of the stone," interrupted Kagome, "remember? A thank you for that would be nice, too, Inuyasha."

"You are so needy," he muttered.

"She resembles your late wife gravely, mi'lord," Myoga whispered, "her blood even tastes almost identical."

"She ain't Kikyou," Inuyasha stated, which quickly earned the attention of the hazel eyed girl, "now get on with it, Myoga, tell me how to make the Tessaiga change."

"I don't know, your father never told me the secret, just that if you were ever able to retrieve it that you would be able to wield it," he answered, "I believe that…?"

"Kagome," she introduced with a nod, "Higurashi Kagome."

"Like Higurashi Kikyou? A sibling?" guessed Myoga.

"No," his lord retorted, "now get on with it, Myoga."

"Higurashi-sama was able to pull the sword when you and your brother could not because she was a mortal. Once your father met your mother his opinion of them swiftly changed, he grew to appreciate them. I believe that he made it so only a human could free the sword in hopes that it meant you would have one to cherish and who cared for you enough to go through such danger," Myoga explained. "To face Sesshomaru-sama to aid mi'lord must mean you value him a great deal."

"Uh, well," Kagome chocked as her hazels shifted from the flea to the golden eyed boy beside her, "of course he's important to me, he's a dear friend. I thought that it was just a sibling squabble anyway, I didn't know it was actually dangerous."

"That proves how smart you are," mocked Inuyasha only to feel a light slap upside his head.

"Is the words 'thank you' not in your vocabulary?" she snapped back.

"Keh," he muttered, "my father's such a freak to go through all that trouble."

"Never speak of your father like that, mi'lord!" Myoga ordered but quickly cowered behind Kagome's legs when he saw the look he received because of his outburst, "your father was a very wise man. He thought a great deal of what would become of you and your brother, placing the Tessaiga where he did was meant to strength you."

"Whatever," he gripped, "you still don't get off the hook for not telling me about Sesshomaru, you little insect. Kagome was with me, she could have gotten hurt!"

_For a fleeting moment I couldn't help but look at him with awe, I was certain my cheeks even flushed with color from the way my heart beat at the thought of Inuyasha caring so gravely about my well being. That was, until he ruined the moment. He was _always_ good at that._

"She's just a weak mortal," he added nonchalantly, as if it were nothing more than a mere fact, "she can't protect herself. If I had known Sesshomaru was coming I would have avoided her so I wouldn't of had to protect her and myself at the same time."

"That was sweet," Kagome coaxed out before screaming, "until that part, jerk!"

"What are you talking about?" Inuyasha rejoined, "it's the truth! You'd be dead if not for me!"

"You are such a mean, ungrateful, boy!" she kept up as she stood up and grabbed the jar, "that's the last time I help you!"

"Help me?" He gawked, "when'd you do that? 'Cause when I was fighting my brother you were just standing by doing nothing!"

"Inuyasha," she dragged out coarsely, "sit!"

_I did ever so love to hear the sound of him smacking to the ground. I believe he deserved it, so much so that as I stomped away I shouted it again. I'll always be grateful to Kaede-sama for that._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_I went around and around, it was terrible in hindsight but I had never gone through a wild phase so I guess that was what I was doing. Akitoki Houjo was the sweet and safe boy that I could settle down with and have a happy life with if I wanted. Akimoto Kouga was the bad boy that could make my head spin and give thrill to my life. They were polar opposites, I don't know how two people so different could have been interested in me… there was no denying that one held my interest more than the other._

_Nor that a fairly handsome hanyou could have snatched it away if he only tried._

Another well off restaurant was the backdrop to her second date with Kouga, more light petting, constant compliments, and giggles from his jokes. Did she have a good time? Yes, she almost always did when the wolf youkai was around. It even made her heart skip a beat when he gave her a certain grin. The way he held her on their walk back to her apartment was warming, too, since the nights were slowly getting cold.

"Tell me you had a good time," Kouga requested with a grin.

"You know I did," she assured as she placed her hand on the door, she could tell from the way his crystal blue eyes scanned over her then up to her window that he wanted an invite in. And for a moment she did flirt with the idea but that passed and she just smiled before leaning in and giving him a kiss on the cheek, "see you later, Kouga."

"Bye," he couldn't hide the disappointment when he stepped aside to leave with a feeble attempt at a smile.

Then the next night she went to the Gagaku concert with humble Houjo who barley found the courage to hold her hand for just a couple of minutes at the end, let alone even dare to imply an invite up to her apartment. What she learned was that he was cute, adorable, and would make the perfect husband but she disliked how loud Gagaku drums were. Kissing him upon the _lips_ was not what she meant to do at the end of the date but he had turned his cheek to comment on something as she leaned in to give him a peck on it but when he turned his head it was just in enough time that their lips met instead.

The shock in his big brown eyes as he pulled away was enormous and probably even mimicked the look she held, but before she could stutter out an explanation he was giddily saying his goodbye.

"Oh dear," she murmured all the same as her brows bent together.

She knew she couldn't keep it up… so the next day she went to one of the few people she trusted enough to confined in. Unfortunately, Sango or her back-up plan Miroku weren't home so she went to the house next door to the hanyou she had avoided for the past three days because of his rudeness.

_Though, I can't deny I had worried nearly the whole time about how his wound was healing. That was how I talked myself into knocking_.

"What?" Inuyasha grunted as he opened the door to lean against it, "speak, woman."

"You are demanding," she retorted as she folded her arms upon her chest, "you know you are rude, don't you?"

"Whatever, what do you want?" he kept up.

"How are you?" she countered as her eyes dropped to his gut, "does it hurt? Are you healing well enough? You _have_ been going to see Kaede-sama, haven't you?"

"If I say yes will you drop it?"

She rolled her eyes before sighing, "why are you like this? I'm concerned; doesn't that mean anything to you? Can't you just give me an honest answer? For once?"

That stopped him for a moment, even stilled him to the point of almost not breathing, but his shoulders did sag as he stepped aside and nodded to let her in, "I'm fine, Kagome. You worry too much."

Simply because he finally sounded sincere she dropped it, the fact that he could sit down without a flinch of pain helped reassure her, too. "Can I make some tea?"

"Knock yourself out," he even waved towards the teapot.

That's what she did, in comfortable silence, until she was done and set a cup of tea down in front of him and sat down with one of her hands. Somehow he predicted what her first question would be as he undid his top to show her his nearly healed wound, "it wasn't as deep as you thought it was."

"Good," she smiled before taking a sip, "glad to hear it."

"I'm a hanyou, I heal faster than you mortals," he just had to add.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Kagome questioned warily, "something actually important to me? Something that I'd rather you not snicker and be rude about?"

"If you gotta," he grumbled.

"I feel bad," she coaxed out, "like it's wrong… what I'm doing. I went to two concerts with Houjo and two dinners with Kouga, I'm sure they know about the other but… I mean, it's wrong, isn't it? Does it make me an awful person to go back and forth between the two like I am?"

"A little," he scoffed only to see that spark a cringe as she looked away to blink away her suddenly shinny eyes. "You're not…" he didn't make her start to... did he? He stiffened up when he heard her sniffles start while her hand raised up to brush away some almost leaking water from her eyes.

"I'm an awful person," she murmured before letting her hands cover her eyes, she had thought that…

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Inuyasha ordered as he rose his hands towards her, "stop, stop! There's this rule that almost everyone in town goes by, okay? You can be with however many people you wanna but you can only accept a third date if you are serious. Then you've gotta stop seeing anyone else. What you're doing _isn't _wrong as long as you don't accept a third date from both. Only accept it if you really want to go with the guy."

She blinked away the sting to look up at the authentically worried boy, "really?"

_That was when I realized the invincible Inuyasha had a weakness, if I ever got teary eyed he'd freak. I just didn't know why he was so frightened by the notion of crying a woman, though I did think it was sweet._

"Really," he assured, "so don't cry."

"I won't," she whispered before forcing a weak smile, "that was nice of you; you can act like a jerk but in all reality you mean well, huh?"

"Keh, so says you," he muttered back as he scratched his nose and looked away before finally picking up his tea to take a sip.

_I didn't argue with him about that, if he wanted to pretend to be the careless arrogant jerk he appeared to be then I'd let him. I was just grateful for the glimpse into what I had so dearly hoped was the real him. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Returning from a hard day at work?" threw her off guard right away on her stroll back from the day shift, she spun about to see the familiar face of Mrs. Higurashi of that world.

"Hi," she replied, since she couldn't find anything else to say, a 'yes' probably would have been a good response.

"I was just about to prepare dinner," she began cautiously, "would you like to come and join us?"

"I'm not her," she murmured softly back, "I never will be."

"I'm not saying you are," she assured, "all I'm implying is that you will be hungry and I'd be happy to cook for you."

"If… that's all, then sure," Kagome cautiously replied, "if you don't mind."

"Not at all," she smiled with a nod of her head so that the girl would follow her through the town to the outskirt where a humble house was stationed beside a shrine, "the Higurashi family has been tending to this place for generations."

"That's interesting," she supposed, she did recall that once being the profession in her family. It was rare but her mother would speak of her father's father and how upset he was when he sold the property. She supposed that in this world they never made that decision…

"Kagome!" Souta shouted as he threw his hands up when they walked it, "what are you doing here?"

"She'll be eating dinner with us," his mother answered, "I'll start to prepare it, you just relax. You look like you've had a long day."

"Let me help you,"offered Kagome instead.

"No, no, you're my guest," she assured with a wave of her hand before finding her way to the kitchen.

"I wanted to play this game anyway but granps was being an old prune and wouldn't," Souta gleamed as he sat down at the table, "wanna play?"

"Who is here?" An elder fellow called out to catch their attention as he walked into the room, when his eyes landed upon her he froze for a moment before venturing in to sit down beside the younger boy, "who are you?"

"This is Kagome," Souta started, "remember how I told you about her?"

"Hmph," he murmured with narrowed eyes, "everyone says the resemblance between you and my granddaughter was supposed to be unmistakable. I don't see it."

"This is my grandpa, if you hadn't guessed that already," Souta nodded as he tried to restrain himself from rolling his eyes, "he's kinda a grumpy old man."

"She doesn't seem like Kikyou at all," he kept up as he pointed to her face, "they don't look alike, or carry themselves the same way."

"Excuse me?" Kagome questioned with a cocked brow.

"It's obvious you aren't her," the old man simply said with a nod, "completely different."

"Granps, she's not her, she's Kikyou's other from the _other_ world," Souta explained, "we never said she _was_ Kikyou."

"No but you said she _looked_ like her and that's a lie, this girl is child-like, your sister was never such even when she _was_ a child. I remember when I first looked at her I knew right away that she'd never be the giddy giggling girl making a fool of our family name. She was as mature as her soul's age."

_I have to admit, I was taken by the old man's forwardness. It seemed a bit cruel, on the one hand he was clearly stating I wasn't comparable to Kikyou yet on the other—_finally _someone that knew her said that we weren't anything alike. That we didn't even look alike. For that, I was more thankful than insulted._

"You're… whoa, all my grandparents were dead before I could remember meeting them," Kagome awed, "which side of the family are you?"

"The Higurashi side," he stated proudly, "my family has been tending to the shrine next to our home for generations! I could tell you about the—"

"Grandps," Souta sighed, "no one wants to hear your old outrageous stories again."

"I would," Kagome countered quickly with a smile, "really, I'd love to hear about the Higurashi family on this side of the world."

And that was all it took for the elder man to start on a spew about his family history as far back as he could date. It was interesting, that much she could admit, but it took until he backtracked to the death of Souta's father that she swiftly snapped back to give him his full attention.

"An illness?" Kagome murmured with a frown as her hazels shifted down the somber Souta, "I'm so sorry. That's horrible."

"Yes, it is," the old man muttered, "what happened to yours?"

"There was a war; it was called Bakumatsu, when I was just a small child. He was sent off to fight within it and… he died. I never really knew him, I can't remember much," she answered softly. "It was unfortunate; it made my mother very sad. She died when I was young from an illness as well."

"Then what?" Souta asked.

"I was taken in by a priestess; she thought that I was naturally inclined into becoming one myself but… I was never really good at it."

"Dinner is prepared!" They heard from the kitchen, "Souta, please come help me!"

_I had fun that night with them. I'd like to believe that my other-mother never saw me as Kikyou. Somehow, she was able to see the difference right away. I guess she just knew her daughter so well. Of course, I loved that grandpa right away said there was no relation between her and I._

_I even started to make it a regular habit to eat a meal with them at least once a week, generally even as much as three times._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

She did ever so love a simple stroll around town when she hadn't anything better to do, especially when she knew just around the corner fall would give way to winter—which she rather detested. The cold weather really hindered her ability to be wander around. Besides, she was yearning for something sweet like a pomegranate to eat but before she could find a stall to buy one her attention fell upon an old hunched back woman.

"Kaede-sama," she chimed as she walked up to her with a hand extended, "please, let me help you with your bags."

"I appreciate that, child," she softly replied as she handed her off the groceries she had bought, "I have a question for ye, when ye said ye _used_ to be a priestess what did ye mean?"

"I trained for," she drew out as she thought about it, "well, I was living with my obaasan for six years but it wasn't until I turned fifteen that I actually began to train. She's a very respected priestess in my world, I would have be more honored if I had known how much. I didn't take it very seriously… most of the time I worked on mediation and creating barriers. I wasn't looking to learn how to fight or protect the village from youkai, all the malice ones that once attacked like that had long ago died out. They were generally an accepted part of our society. Honestly, here I feel rather useless, especially since that's what priestess seem to do here. I can't help Inuyasha at all…"

_But, more so, I was fairly certain that since I broke the whole purity part of being a priestess—having a child was after all rather large 'no-no'—I had lost whatever power I once had. I never really was too in touch with my spiritual powers anyway. Everyone always told me I had them but I never… took it seriously. Not until I had no other choice, not until I was forced to discover them or die, not until... he showed up to ruin everything. To try and take what wasn't his.  
_

"If ye think ye are useless then ye will be," Kaede declared, "if ye think ye aren't then ye wouldn't be. Ye have a great deal of spiritual energy swelled up within ye but ye will never able to tap into it if ye don't realize that ye could be more than just a mere mortal."

"Excuse me?"

"If ye do not wish to be, if ye want the life of courting handsome men then ye cannot be a priestess."

"What's wrong with trying to find love?" Kagome questioned, "why can't a priestess have both?"

"They must be held to a higher stander yet there is nothing more pure than true love," Kaede assured, "but are ye trying to find love or are ye just having fun? The latter is not something a priestess can do."

That gave Kagome pause for a moment… what _was_ she doing? Did she really want to find love when all she desired was to return to her world in less than ten months? Did she want to fall in love only to have to say goodbye? She didn't know, she couldn't find an answered as she dropped Kaede and her groceries off at her humble hut and turned to walk away. That was when a silver glimpse caught the corner of her eye, she glanced to Inuyasha to see him carrying a couple fish back to his home, she assumed.

"Hey," she chimed as she lightly sprinted over to his side, "what are you doing?"

"Ain't it obvious? I'm going to make dinner," he asserted.

"Alone?" she guessed and since he didn't correct her she nodded to offer, "I'll cook for you. I'm good at that and off tonight so I was just going to be eating by myself. You're probably just going to grill them, huh? I'll make you a delicious meal."

Warily his eyes switched between Kagome and the path ahead of them before slowly saying, "okay."

"Great," she chimed as she grabbed his wrist and yanked him towards the market.

"Why are we going this way?" Inuyasha inquired as he glanced back to his original direction since it _was_ the right way to his house.

"We'll need something more than just fish for a proper meal," she assured as they stopped at one of the stalls to pick up a few herbs.

"I'm not going to eat the food if it sucks," he asserted swiftly, "fair warning, so don't start crying, got it?"

"What is it with you and crying?" she questioned with a smile as she looked up to him, "is it because of that soft side of you? The one that doesn't want to hurt people?"

"Keh," he scoffed, "as if you'd know."

_He was right, I wouldn't. I didn't know him yet. Didn't understand how he worked, why he did the things he did, but I wouldn't for some time. Not until the peace our lives temporary rested in was destroyed. But there was almost always a reason he did everything the way he did. Surprisingly, after all, I didn't think he was so intelligent but it wasn't really that. It was his heart. He needed to protect it from being broken again._

_That I could sympathize with… little else hurts like that._

_

* * *

**A/N**: Thank you for the **reviews**. I do really, really appreciate all of them. A lot. Especially the longs ones but even the one-liners are highly welcomed and adored. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. This could very well be the last time I update for a (hopefully only a week) while. **Again, please review, it's always wonderful to receive them**.  
_


	17. Flowers for Fleeting Feelings

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_7_: _Flowers for Fleeting Feelings**.**_ °•.  
{…}

It was a small gesture, a simple one even, but it made her smile as bright as the starry sky when the wolf youkai handed her the bouquet of blue flowers. For no reason, he had assured her; he just saw them and his thoughts swarmed of nothing but her. Bought them on a whim to give to the 'prettiest' girl he knew, too. She couldn't help but gleam at that and thanked him dearly before leaving work that night… she couldn't help but notice an envious emerald gaze try to burn a hole in her on her way out, either.

"What are you so giddy about?" she heard in a gruff from above so she turned her head to see Inuyasha glancing over his roof which sparked her to raise a brow.

"Why are you on your roof?" she replied with a tilt of her head.

"Why not?" He retorted before jumping down to land beside her, quickly his sunlit gaze landed upon the flowers, "what are those?"

"Aren't they pretty?" she chimed as she held them up, "Kouga gave them to me."

"Oh," he grumbled back, "why?"

"He said they reminded him of me," she smiled sweetly as she turned her gaze up to the bothered hanyou, "isn't that nice?"

"Whatever," he muttered, "sounds weird to me."

"You really don't like Kouga, don't you?" she whispered while he leaned against his home.

"You really do," he countered as he forced her stare back to her, "you gonna go on that third date with Kouga, eh?"

"I don't know… both have been asking but I'm avoiding having to give either an answer. If… if it will be a problem, Inuyasha, I'll say yes to Houjo. Or do you not like him either?" she questioned softly.

"Kouga irks me," he grumbled, "a lot. Akitoki Houjo is a weakling but from what I hear a good guy so… yeah, I think he'd be a better fit for you."

"If you feel that way then," she coaxed out as she glanced between him and the flowers, "then I'll say yes to Houjo next time he asks."

"Yeah?" Inuyasha rapidly responded with a cocked brow, "seriously?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded, "I believe in your judgment and… I don't want any bad blood between us because of whoever I'm dating—I mean, _courting_."

"Oh," he murmured before shrugging and nodding towards his door, "you off work? Wanna eat dinner with me?"

"You mean," she smiled as she slapped his shoulder, "do I want to _cook_ dinner for you, huh?"

"I won't argue with you if you'd want to," he grinned.

She shook her head lightly before sighing with a curl of her lips all the while, "what do you want?"

"Those noodle things you made the other night," he quickly declared.

"Ramen?" she guessed, "you always ask for that."

"It's delicious," he grinned all the same as he walked her to the door and opened it for her to proceed in. She set the flowers down on the table before starting up on a suddenly routine ritual, perhaps two to three times a week she'd end up cooking for him, another two to three times she'd allow Mrs. Higurashi to cook for her. It was nice not to have such a lonely life there.

Somehow, her life in the world that wasn't hers had become something closer to home than she had possessed in a long, long while. Though, she'd try to deny those creeping thoughts. She had to get home, she had to see her Souta, she had to see her son… those were what floated around her mind as she boiled the water to cook the noodles with.

"These things are ugly," Inuyasha asserted as he picked up the flowers while he walked over to her, "who buys blue flowers?"

"They are unique," she countered, "I love the color blue. He knows it's my favorite color."

"It is?" he muttered before an 'ops' left his lips as they fell out from his hand and into the finally bubbling water.

"Inuyasha!" She shouted but didn't dare reach in to grab them, "you killed my flowers! You did that on purpose!"

"They just slipped," he shrugged, "sorry."

"You are _not _sorry," she countered with narrowed eyes before pushing him back some and away from the fire, "sit."

The sound of him smacking against the floor finally got her to smile as she carefully moved the pot away and started up a new one, "you are lucky I'm so nice or I wouldn't make you ramen after that."

"Bitch! Don't do that!" he growled once he pried his face off the ground, he grasped the purple pray beads then to try and yank them off only to have that attempt fail like every time prior.

"Don't drop my flowers into boiling water," she retorted, "you're a rude boy."

"Keh," was all he scoffed back while he folded his arms in his sleeves as he sat behind the table to wait for her to serve him.

"You went to the well again this morning," he cautiously commented.

"Inuyasha," she snapped before glaring over to him, "I thought we had an agreement that you won't stalk me anymore."

"I didn't," he asserted, "stalking is such an ugly word. I was there already."

"Do you try it?" she murmured while she found his bowls, "often?"

"It's not opened," he responded as his gaze followed her until the bowl of delicious noodles was placed before him. "Kagome, Watanabe knows what he's talking about. It won't be opened for a year. When that happens we'll go over there."

"But you do try it," she presumed as she sat down across from it, "so do I. As often as I can… is it really the only place in the entire world that connects to the other? I mean—"

"You're going to drive yourself crazy, Kagome, if you keep wondering about all the 'what if's," he interrupted, "more than five years ago our—_my_," he corrected himself quickly, "world started to collide with yours. For five years Watanabe along with every other powerful person in Japan formed a council similar to the one in your world. The wars that were going on stopped because of the gravity of the matter. All of them put their heads together for the best solution, and the well is the only place in all of Japan that can connect to your world.

"If we tried to go search another land for _another_ source it would first off take forever to get anywhere, the journey in and of itself would be dangerous, and we might not even find anything there. It would probably take longer than a year since it took _five_ to find out that the old well just outside this village was a portal. Kagome, our best plan of action is not to go anywhere and just wait for the worlds to align. We only have to wait eight months."

"_Only_?" she coaxed, "that's a long time."

"For you," he countered, "eight months isn't a problem for me."

"Right, because you are a great immortal creature," she mocked with a roll of her eyes, "in a year he'll… well, be a _year_ old. We'd have missed things…"

"I'm not immortal," he corrected, "I just age far, far slower than you. And if you'd rather journey to a foreign land—which would take probably three months, mind you—and try to find a different portal we could do that. We could _easily _not find one for another five years then he'll be _five_ and we'd miss so much more."

_Sadly, that wasn't the first time we had that conversation. Constantly we had that back and forth, and as always he'd be right. The tragic truth of life is that there aren't always lovely loop holes that can make all your troubles tumble down. _

_Sometimes, you don't even get the one thing you desire most back._

"I know you're right," she admitted with a soft sigh, "it's just… I miss him."

"You aren't the only one," he murmured.

"By the way, I'll be staying in my world _with _my child," she quickly pointed out, "not this one."

"Keh, we'll see about that," he asserted swiftly before he began to woof down his dinner in a rather distasteful fashion but that was something Kagome had gotten used to, it helped that she never watched him as he ate.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_It seemed silly that my concern was who to date but it was the only way to keep my soul from shattering with longing or my heart from falling to the floor from the weight of how badly I wished to return to my world. I needed to keep my attention on anything but how cruel it was that the well wouldn't open for me… or what was happening to my child._

_They'd treat him like a prince, I knew that much, since his life was so important to them somehow but… I worried what they'd tell him about me. The mother that abandoned him… I've always been most concerned with that._

For the sake of the father of her son she'd pick the safe sweet human to date instead of the dangerous and debonair youkai. That was truly what she meant to do. She just needed to wait until Houjo arrived for a meal as he did almost every time she was on shift, when he asked her out she'd say yes. It was probably for the best, she could easily leave him in eight months without a problem.

"I'm so jealous of you," Ayumi grumbled as she leaned against the counter, pouting all the while. "Really, I wish Akitoki Houjo would ever ask me out it would be like a dream come true."

"Here," Kouga declared as he set the drink order of Ayumi in front of her, she smiled and thanked him before turning around to deliver them. "Kagome, can you help me with something in the back?"

"Sure," she chimed before finding her way around the counter to go back where the inventory was kept, "what type of help do you need from me back her—?"

But before her final word could fully find its way out her lips were muffled by his as he pushed her against the wall, at first nothing but shock coursed through her but then she let her lids shut as he kissed her again. She couldn't deny it then… she had developed feelings for the wolf youkai and not humble Houjo.

She still took a surprised breath in as she quickly combed her hair behind her ears, "K… Kouga."

"Sorry," he admitted though he couldn't fully hide his smile, "I know you said you weren't really ready to… but, it infuriates me to hear about you and Akitoki—you like him better, huh? If that's the case, if you wanan be with him instead, I'll back off. I just wanted to do that before I had to."

"Kouga," she slowly dragged out, "I never knew it bothered you so much…"

Really, she hadn't considered how her back and forth game could affect Kouga. Sure, she could see Houjo being hurt but not the youkai.

"But," she started, "I don't care for Houjo more than a friend. Besides, Ayumi has become a good friend of mine and she likes him a great deal so I would never court him."

"Oh?" he replied with a cocked brow, "so… what about me? Is there anything more than a friend?"

"Yes," she whispered, "there is."

"Then how about you, me, and dinner tomorrow?" he questioned as he took her hands into his, "say yes, Kagome."

"Then yes," she responded with a smile, "but now I need to go tend to my tables."

"You do that," he grinned as she slowly slipped her hands out from his. She'd tell Houjo that he was a dear friend and try her utmost to set him up with Ayumi—it seemed like a brilliant idea.

Something she didn't take in account was the enflamed emerald stare that followed her around the rest of the night.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It wasn't due to an aimless walk that she found herself at his door preparing to knock, instead it was intended. Something she had been preparing herself to do for the past two days but couldn't muster up the courage until then.

When she finally let her knuckles tap, tap, tap against the door she didn't hear an answer from inside but above, so she turned attention upward to see him poke his head over. Her brows bent together as she questioned, "why are you up there so often?"

"I like the view of the stars," he shrugged, "what do you want?"

"To talk," she answered, before her hazels shifted all the way up to the sky, "so the view is nice?"

He didn't have to ask, he knew, so he leaped down, grabbed her, and jumped back up, "what do you want to talk about?"

"Some warning before doing that would be nice," she asserted back as they sat down, "well… remember how we talked the other night about who'd I say yes to?"

"You're courting Kouga," he countered with a huff as he lied all the way down, folding his hands behind his head in the process. "I heard already, that why you've been avoiding me?"

"I have not," she squeaked, "it's just… I've been busy. But that's right… I'm sorry; I just don't feel anything for Houjo more than friendship. Will you be okay with me and him?"

It took enough time for him to find an answer to that that she, too, could lie down and look up at the stars. Sweet silence swirled around the two before her warily started, "honestly no… but I'm not sure if it's because of you or… or Kikyou."

She nodded at that, she wasn't surprised to hear that—it was what she had expected, perhaps even feared. "I understand I'll give you time and stop talking about him with you."

"It's not that," he started before stopping to sigh, "it's not that… I think of you as her, Kagome. It's just… I don't know how to explain it."

"It's fine," she assured him with a gentle pat, "don't worry about it."

"So," he coaxed out as they both looked up to the stars, "you like it more here, huh?"

"Inuyasha," she murmured, "when the well opens up I'm going home. I miss my brother every day."

"Souta here likes you, a lot," Inuyasha asserted back, "and not even because you look like Kikyou. He says you don't remind him of her at all, that you're too different."

"That's nice to hear," she smiled, "but he's not my Souta… my brother means so much to me. He was my world after my parents died, I raised him. I know your relationship with your brother is an issue but I love mine very much."

He just shrugged before she turned her cheek to look at him with a grand smile, "it's cute how Souta worships you, he thinks of you like a big brother. You have a sweet side to you, you just won't admit it."

"Keh," he scoffed, "you don't know what you're talking about, woman."

She only smiled all the more, sparking his cheeks to grow hot as he looked away.

_Those small glimpses behind the wall he had built around himself were always precious. I only wish I could have seen more of them. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_Time passed by in a flash, and for that I was so thankful. Two months slipped away when I was enjoying myself. That was why I needed to have fun. It wasn't all about that, either. I had to get the wild impulses out of me before I returned to my world to be a mother… at least that's what I told myself, I had to have hope I'd get the chance to raise my child. That the other Watanabe wouldn't stand in my way but… he was a bastard like that._

_Always would be… the real problem I should have worried about if the well would ever grant me the opportunity. _

_I had six more months to wait and see._

Tranquilly she stood in front of the wooden well that was lightly coated with flakes of white when the frigid wind blew around to make the snow upon the ground swirl about slowly and her wrap the shawl she had around herself tighter as she looked down the seemingly endless hole. When a sigh left her lips it could have been seen in a poof, "hello."

"Hey," answered Inuyasha as he walked up next to her, his arms tightly folded in his fire rat's robe.

For a while they simply stood there together, side-by-side, eyes locked on the square well, each had their thoughts on the same person—their infant son. Then… he ruined the peaceful pleasant moment they had to say, "you gonna tell your man about our kid?"

Another sigh left her lips, again out of disappointment, "_why_ must you always do that?"

"What?" he retorted, "this is first time I've mentioned it."

"Ruin the moment?" she corrected as she looked up to him with a pout, "whenever we're having a nice one you go and say something to mess it up."

He shrugged his shoulder at that, "sorry, I guess?"

"You were so debonair back at the castle," she teased, "what happened to that?"

"I was faking everything back then," he answered, out of the corner of his eyes he saw a flicker of pain flash upon her face as her eyes fell down once more. "I'm sorry for doing that to you," he whispered sincerely, "I didn't know you back then. If I did…"

Quickly, her eyes looked up to him with curiosity, "then what?"

His sunlit stare flickered between the two before admitting, "I would have done things differently… I couldn't be cool around someone I liked."

Her usual gleam quickly returned as she declared, "you like me!"

A fumbled excuse tripped its way out of his mouth at that, "well… erm, sure… I guess, enough I mean. Not like a lot or anything, you're okay, I suppose."

"It was more the mystery of you that attracted me," she answered with a smile, "that and I desperately wanted to fall in love."

"Were… you ever?"

"What?"

"In love with me?" he asked as his eyes shifted away from her.

"I thought I was," she admitted softly as her smile faded, "but it wasn't real. I just _really_ wanted to be. I thought it would be like a fairytale, romantic… since you are the father of my son. But things aren't like fairytales, not in the real world…"

"You gonna tell Kouga about him?" Inuyasha brought up once more.

"When the moment's right, I may," she replied, "are we still on for tomorrow night?"

"I don't know," he grumbled with a snort, "I'd rather not."

"Inuyasha," she coaxed out until he turned his bothered stare to her, "please? It would mean a lot to me… pretty please? _Please_?"

"Fine," he grunted, "fine, I'll be there."

"Promise?" she pouted.

"Yeah, I promise," he groaned, "want to head back now?"

"I could use a cup of hot tea," she admitted with a nod before her turned around to start down the path back to town.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Higurashi Kagome was the second cousin of Higurashi Souta. That was at least the story that they went with in town when too many unanswered questions began to bother the locals, it also appeased Kouga's inquiries. They were important to her therefore their opinion of her man meant something to her, just like her closest friends Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha's did. It took some arranging, constant begging of a indifferent hanyou, to get a dinner planned so that they would all be there to meet the man she had steady been 'courting' for two solid months.

Akimoto Kouga was charismatic enough to win almost all of their approval; he bathed her other-mother with enough compliments, shared enough in common with Souta, and showed enough affection for Kagome for the happily married couple's approval along. There were two clear strong holds, old Higurashi who was still fixated on the idea that a human should _not_ be with a youkai and irritated Inuyasha.

"You have an amazing girl in your family," Kouga asserted with a smile as he draped his arm over her shoulder, "almost as great as your cooking, Higurashi-sama."

"Why thank you, Kouga-san," she smiled as she began to collect the dishes.

"I'll help you," Kagome offered while she grabbed the rest, tapping Souta lightly before saying, "you, too."

"Ugh," he grumbled but did start to whip down the table all the same as his grandfather started off on a rather ridiculous story of the horrors that befall any human that decided to court a youkai which was enough to get Kouga to leave the room to glance around the rest of the home but before he got farther than the next room he felt a hand grasp his shirt to push him against the wall.

"Inuyasha," he grumbled with narrowed blue eyes, "what?"

"_If_ you hurt Kagome then you'll have to deal with me and you _won't_ like that," he warned, "got it?"

"I hear ya', mutt," he grinned back as he knocked his hands away, "your little thing that you have for _my_ woman is something you ought to work out, she is _mine _after all."

"Keh," he grunted as Kouga started towards the door only to stop when he heard a muffle from the "mutt".

"What was that?" he growled back as he turned back, "wanna say that a little louder, _mutt_?"

"Your family's not going to be happy about you courting a mortal," he asserted, "after all, having a _hanyou_ in the family would smear your name."

"That won't be a problem, Kagome's a charmer, she'll win them over easily," Kouga replied with a smirk as he folded his arms. "It's not _your_ problem, either."

But that wasn't true; Kagome was his concern he just couldn't figure out why she mattered so much. Was it out of blindness, fear, or idiocy that he couldn't connect the need to protect her with the reason why?

Knowing him, it was a fine mixture of all three.

_

* * *

_

**_A/N_**_: Thank you for the **reviews**. Please keep them up. And thank you very very much for the nomination for Best Angst at Feudal Association.  
_


	18. Condemnation & Her Could Be Killer

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_8_: _Condemnation & Her Could Be Killer **.**_ °•.  
{…}

_I didn't know until later about the little tiff the two shared after dinner was done. Inuyasha thought I would be upset with him for threatening my man. Kouga never once hinted towards it, I don't think he even dared to consider the notion of telling me. Even then, he must have known what would happen if he told me…_

_I would have left him, I would have thought it was sweet, I would have known it acknowledged feelings that I even then longed for Inuyasha to have for me. _

"You look beautiful," Kouga soothed as he took her almost shaking hands into his, "don't be nervous."

"Are you sure?" She inquired as her eyes shifted up to meet his certain crystal blue stare, "this is a big deal, Kouga."

"I know," he whispered before kissing her upon the forehead, "everyone likes you, don't worry about it. Honestly, darling, you are the best waitress I've ever had. There's just something about you that wins instant approval. Why else do you think you get such good tips?"

"Because of those horridly skimpy outfits you make us wear," she jested as he held her tighter while they started up the path to the large estate just outside the town, on the opposite side of Kaede's hut. The nervous jitter that vibrated within her almost made her nauseas as she dusted off the flakes of dirt that the wind blew onto her mostly pink kimono that had been bought just for such the occasion.

"Sister!" Ginta called out as they entered, it was what he and Hakkaku had begun to call her shortly after she and Kouga began to "court" since that meant she was particularly part of the pack—at least, that's what they thought. It also helped that she'd give them the time of day that Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi all denied them.

"Hello, Ginta-san, Hakkaku-san," she greeted with a weak attempt at a smile while her hazels shifted around to all the unfamiliar wolf youkais until they landed upon envious emeralds that seemed to want to burn a hole right threw her. Ayame… ever since she began her relationship with Kouga _she_ had made her days at work—whenever they happened to have the same schedule—as hellish as she could. It wasn't hard for her to figure out the reasons why.

Yet, Kouga was oblivious to it.

"Kouga," a boastful boom called out to win alls attention, even hers to the wolf youkai that entered the fairly large room that already held upwards of thirty others. He looked just over forty but she had long ago learned not to judge a youkai by his looks, for all she knew he could be over a century old. She wasn't even sure how old Kouga actually was, but did she actually want to know?

"This is your woman?" his father grunted as his condescending crystal blue eyes cascaded over her, "she's a _mortal_. Ayame mentioned that but… I didn't believe it. What are you thinking, Kouga? You know you should only court other wolf youkais."

"Father," he dragged out, trying his utmost to keep from growling in the process, "give her a chance, stop talking about her as if she's not in the room. At least greet her properly."

"Greetings, _mortal_," he ridiculed.

"Damn it, you bitter old bastard," Kouga growled, "I _love_ this woman and you can't give her the time of day just because she's a mortal?"

That seemed to stop everything for a moment, at least for Kagome as her wide hazels shifted to her rather annoyed man. He loved her…? For a moment that made her heart sore high before it came crashing down with the question—did she return the affection?

_I knew it was 'no', but I wanted the better feeling to last a little longer. He loved me, I wanted to know what that was like instead of the illusion that I had experienced in my own world._

"You are being foolish, Kouga," his father retorted as he clenched his fists with a narrowed glare, "she's a mortal. I will _not_ have a hanyou in our family—do you understand that? Have you taken into consideration _that_? Not to mention mortals die within a century, this is a pointless relationship. You may have a fling with her, but you cannot have a serious relationship."

"She's _right_ here," Kouga shouted as he pointed his hands towards Kagome, "right here! Why would you say something like that in front of her!"

"That is my final word, Kouga," his father stated, "why not date the daughter of the pack leader of the East? She's a lovely youkai, a white wolf, and you two would have strong children. It would aid our alliance with them as well."

"I'm done with this bullshit," Kouga declared with a wave of his hand as he grabbed Kagome's wrist and turned her about to take her away, "you narrow minded bastard!"

"That went… horribly," she murmured with a sigh, "really horribly."

"Fuck him," Kouga grunted as he wrapped his arms around her once they were past the gates that wrapped around the pack's estate, "you are beautiful, intelligent, and one of kind—you're better than any wolf youkai around."

"Even the beautiful East pack leader's daughter?" She inquired with a pout as she looked up at him, "your father hates me, Kouga. I don't want to be the reason for a family feud."

"You aren't," he asserted as he kissed her upon the forehead, "he and I never have seen eye to eye. He finds something wrong with every single girl I bring home to him—even if she _is_ a wolf youkai. I don't need his approval to know you're perfect."

"You're too sweet," she whispered as she rested her head against his chest.

_Too sweet for me, too good also—I didn't deserve his affections, because I'd never return them. Not fully at least. I cared about him, so much, but I didn't love him. I couldn't. I was scared to try, the last time I thought about giving my heart away a certain silver haired hanyou shattered it. _

_But for some reason, he's the only one I'd give my love to… and he'd just keep throwing it back at me, breaking it almost every time. At least it was never out of spite.  
_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Warmth wrapped around the two while his arms rested around her waist, both their eyes shut in front of the fire at his place above the bar. He was wonderful in the way that he never pressured her into giving in to him. Somehow, he accepted that even though they'd been together for three months she wasn't ready to have sex. A part of her wanted to, to give into someone who obviously loved her… someone she was fairly certain would never hurt her but a smaller part—a stronger one—wasn't ready to trust him not to break her heart.

It was an idiotic fear, she knew that but… sometimes the absurd notions were the strongest.

"I'll walk you home," he sleepily said as he attempted to open his eyes as she wrapped the blanket around him more and stood up.

"No need, Kouga, I'll see you tomorrow," she assured as she kissed him upon the head.

It wouldn't be out of character for her to spend the night at his or he at hers, they had literally slept together multiple times but some nights she was sure if she staid it would almost be too much of a temptation for him. Besides, her small one room apartment was just down the street from the bar. It would take only a few minutes to walk the distance and the town was one of the safest in all of Japan—at least that's what everyone told her.

It was strange, she thought, in a world filled with the horrors that went bump in the dark that long ago had disappeared in hers yet she had not once encountered a problem since her arrival. Sure, she heard about the horrid things petty youkais did to travelers from those who came to the Howling Times but never did she see it firsthand. Even those who were just passing by would say that the town was blessed to go so long without any problems.

Truthfully, she didn't think twice about it.

What would always catch her attention was when those who were merely passing through would talk about their home village and… how it had disappeared, leaving nothing but a field that shouldn't have been there—or a forest, or anything else that wasn't the homes or people that should have been there.

That hit home… that was the root of some of her worst worries. Was her village in _her_ world still there? Was her brother still able to run around playing with all his friends…? Was _her_ Kaede, her obaasan, still alive?

Before she even turned the corner to where her apartment was she felt a familiar pang that made her pause—her whole form froze as she turned towards where it came from. It wasn't a good idea, that much she knew, but she still walked its way even to the edge of the town. It was only when she reached that could she see inside the forest where a warped purple glow emanated from.

It was so familiar… as if she knew what it was but couldn't place it—maybe she could if she got a bit closer?

All the same, she turned around and started back towards her home. The smarter part of her knew better than to go looking around inside the forest at night. There were plenty of horror stories that she knew to be true about that place.

_I didn't know then what it meant… but later, I realized that was the first sign that _he_ had returned._

_To ruin everything that had started; to destroy all that could have been._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"That's dangerous," she kept up as she swirled what was left in her bowl around with her chopsticks, her dreary hazels locked upon the hanyou in front of her. "Why can't you have a normal job?"

"Why do you _always_ say that?" he countered with a narrowed golden gaze, "every time I tell you I'm going to be gone for a few days you start whining about how it's so _dangerous_."

"It is!" She snapped, "really dangerous, you idiot. Youkai exterminating? Seriously, how is that not a bad idea?"

"It's not going to be a problem," he asserted before slurping down what was left in his bowl, causing her to cringe and look away in the process. "It's just a horde of spider youkais, I'll be back in three days tops. Do me a favor, okay? Don't start worrying until the fourth day, if I'm not back by then you can start to freak out."

"Inuyasha," she dragged out with bent brows and a frown, "spider youkais? That sounds horrible… I hate bugs, and a _horde_ of them? How can you ask me not to worry? Of course I'm going to worry!"

"Look, it won't be a problem," he grunted as he grabbed the Tessaiga, stood up, and unsheathed it to show how he had mastered the art of its transformation, "I can get it to do this now, it'll take a couple swings of this and I'll be done."

"Since when? How'd you figure it out?" she asked as her eyes traveled over the large sword with awe until it faded to make sure he hadn't damaged her ceiling in the process.

"On one of my brawls with that bastard Sesshomaru," he shrugged as he sheathed Tessaiga.

"Your _what_?" she sped with narrowed eyes, "what exactly have you been doing, Inuyasha?"

"See, this is why I don't tell you about this shit," he grunted, "look, sometimes Sesshomaru shows up to try and take the sword from me so I have to fight him off. It isn't any big deal."

"How can you say that?" she frowned, "Inuyasha... you are always getting yourself into trouble."

"Kagome, it'll take longest to get to and from this town to that village," he sighed as he sat back down, "I swear to Kami, it will take no effort, Miroku and I will be back unharmed in three days. Just don't worry until the fourth, please, Kagome?"

_Please_—such a rare word to leave his lips that she had to pause before nodding. "Okay, Inuyasha, I won't start to worry until the fourth day but only if you promise to come find me as soon as you get back so I know you are safe."

"Fine," he sighed, "I will find you once I get back… how about you stay with Sango while we're gone? She's always nervous while Miroku is away, too, and she could use the help with the kids."

"That's a good idea," she said with a smile, "I'll have to ask her but I'm sure she could use the help."

"She already said yes," declared Inuyasha.

"Wait," she slowly started, "why would you have asked before talking to me?"

"I just suggested it to her," he shrugged, "when Miroku was telling her he'd be gone for a few days. I saw the way she started to frown, the twins always are a hand full and now that Masaaki is starting teething he demands a lot of her focus. Miroku was worried about leaving her alone with the kids even for a few days, so I said you'd probably like to help her out around the house, so Sango started to smile again and said she loved that idea."

"Oh," she nodded, "for a moment there I thought _you_ were worried about _my_ safety while you were away."

"Keh, this is the safest town in the west, as long as you don't do anything stupid like going into the forest by yourself, you'll be fine," he scoffed but the truth was that she had it right—he'd just never admit it. She was a mortal and without his protection he hadn't any idea of what could happen to her so obviously he had to make arrangements before he left that she'd be safe. It made sense to him.

"Stay safe, Inuyasha," requested Kagome as she stood up to start on the dishes, "you can't do anything dumb while you are away, okay? Don't be a hero if it means getting yourself hurt."

"It's a bunch of small spider youkais, don't worry about it," he scoffed in retaliation, "you under estimate my abilities, wench."

That only earned a sigh from her while he said his goodbye to head out from one of their meals. Generally, they'd have two or three a week while she'd share three to four others with the Higurashi family of that world. If she wasn't eating with one of them, she'd be over at Sango and Miroku's or with Kouga and if all else failed she had Ayumi, Yuka, and Eri to fall back on. Really, she rarely ate alone…

It was strange, how in a world that was not her own she felt more at home than she had in a very, very long time… all that it was missing was her son and _her_ Souta and it would be perfect.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_I know I promised Inuyasha I wouldn't do anything irresponsible while he was away and for the most part I kept my word. For the first two days, at least…_

The well was something that called to her, from the pit of her soul. She was certain that what brought her to it was the need to go through it—to go _home_, to the world that she was born to. If she was meant to be in the other one then she would have started out there, right? Then again the well did bring her to it… no, she shook her head at the thought.

It was simple, her younger brother was in her reality and her son was there, so _she_ belonged there. That was that, no ifs ands or buts… yet, if that were the case why did a part of her feel as if that were wrong?

A sigh escaped her lips as she stepped away to head back to town so she could make it to help Sango prepare for dinner. Staying with them was wonderful, she loved having children around to distract her, she adored spending time with Masaaki, but at the same time… it hurt. Sango's son was the same age as hers yet she was able to hold him in her arms whenever she wanted while Kagome couldn't even get a glimpse of her baby.

Before she got more than two steps away from the well, though, she felt a pang so much like the one from the other night… it was enough to make her stop and glance towards the forest. She focused for a moment or two longer until she could see the warped purple glow from within—so dark that it was almost black. There was a terrible feeling attached to the pang that pulsed out from it to her made her shiver—it was anything but pure.

That was why she had absolutely no intention to go wander towards the source to try and discover what had occurred. Until she heard a scream so loud that it made the birds within the trees scatter.

Perhaps it was not her best idea, perhaps it wasn't even a remotely _good_ idea but she rushed towards the man that kept screaming. It was simply an instinct of hers to go to someone's aid, even if it was a complete stranger. When she broke through the tree line into a small clearing to find the person who ceased to cry out… she saw something horrible, something that would be engraved into her mind forever. The bloody, marred body of a merchant upon the ground, his eyes rolled back in his head, his mouth still opened wide from all the screaming, and arms along with his legs turned in direction that they shouldn't even be able to bend in.

The breath she hadn't known she was holding shakily escaped her lips but it wasn't until she heard a ghastly, "Kikyou? But… how?" that sparked her to look up to see the shocked crimson eyes of the attacker with long waves of pitch black hair and bloody splattered upon his face.

Did he really just say that? Did he say _Kikyou_?

Before her mind could function her eyes dropped to his chest were his heart should have been to see that was what held the distorted dark glow, a crackling sound forced her eyes further down to his hand as it shifted into a root like substance.

"I'm not sure how you are here, but you won't be for much longer," he shouted as he it stabbed towards. She didn't have time to react before a whirlwind got in the way to rip the root apart, when the wind settled down she could see Kouga standing in front of her.

"Who the _hell_ are you?" he growled.

"I see now," he murmured with a lopsided smirk, "you aren't her."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kouga grunted as he held an arm out in front of Kagome.

"Until next time," he chuckled before purple mist sprout out from underneath him to encompass the scene; she felt a pair of hands grab her to yank into an embrace. When it all faded away she opened her eyes to see Kouga's fixated gaze ahead of them, his brows bent together in his harden expression didn't even soften when he heard her voice.

"What… just happened?"

He shook his head before picking her up in his arms to rush away to the largest house in the middle of the town. She didn't mind nor did she care what he had planned… all the while the image of the body upon the ground caused her to barely notice what had occurred until she heard, "she's in shock."

"Kagome, sweetheart," a warm whisper caught her attention so that she'd look up from the fire to Kouga, "you going to be okay?"

"I've never… seen a dead body before," she murmured before she turned her gaze to Watanabe.

"Where've you been anyway, Watanabe-sama?" Kouga questioned, "you've been gone for a while now."

"Nothing you need to worry yourself about," he assured as his eyes shifted over to Kagome, "how are you, Kagome-san?"

"Alright," all things considered, that was. "Who was that person?"

"I've never seen him before," Kouga announced, "he wasn't your average lowlife youkai lurking in the forest to steal from merchants taking it as a short cut or to eat someone… he wasn't even a full youkai, but not a hanyou either, I can't explain it. Watanabe-sama, this is bad."

"Yes, I agree, for now the forest is off limits. I will spread the word; we need to figure out what is going on before anyone may return to it. I know it may be a bit of a bother for those who have to travel to other towns or villages but going around it for the time being will be for the best."

"I agree," Kouga nodded, "if you want I can get the pack to go out and search for the thing."

"Thank you, Kouga-san, that sounds like a good idea," he nodded.

"Wait, _you_ aren't going, are you?" Kagome questioned as she grabbed his hands, "that's dangerous! First Inuyasha off to fight stupid spider youkais and now you are going after something you don't even know _what_ it is?"

"Sweetheart, I can't ask my pack members to do something that I'm not willing to do myself," Kouga answered, "I'll be fine. We'll search through the night; if we all go out we'll be able to cover it by dawn."

"You two…?" Watanabe guessed as he pointed between them, "are together?"

"That we are," Kouga grinned as he wrapped an arm around Kagome's shoulders.

"Huh," he nodded, "I would not have predicted that… Kagome-san, why don't you stay with me tonight, just to be on the safe side?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Kouga concurred with a nod.

"No," she sped before checking herself, "thank you but I couldn't. I'm staying with Sango-chan, helping her with her kids while Miroku-sama and Inuyasha are gone."

"I see," Watanabe murmured, "well, you'll be safe there. Sango-san use to be a youkai slayer and one of the best before she gave it up to tend to her family full time. She would do anything to protect her children. Besides, the creature should not be able to enter the town."

_I didn't think to ask what that meant or to mention that Kikyou's name came up. The only two things that floated about my mind was how much I did not trust Watanabe or the mess the merchant was in…_

_The sad thing is, that was only the start of the nightmares that horrible monster would give me._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Sleep slipped away from her, eluding her every time she shut his eyes—instead she saw the marred and mangled figure of the merchant. Never had she encountered a dead body before, not even when her mother passed away did she see her. Everyone said that a child should not see such a sight and that she should remember her mother's smiling face as her last expression instead of cold, weak, and withered away.

Whenever she was helping her obaasan tend to the ill the elder lady would send her back to help her brother with something if she feared the patient would not make it.

After a long while of lying on the futon in the guest room flickering between shut lids and wide open eyes staring aimlessly at the wall or ceiling she finally felt that she may fall into the world of slumber until an aurora caught her attention—one that was _right_ behind her turned body. She held her breath—it was something with youkai within them but was not _full_ youkai.

Like the monster from the forest, the one that held some sort of interest in her demise… but what could she do? Truth was, she was rather helpless to defend herself. Still, she sat up swiftly and turned around, clutching the sheets in her hands. If it was the creature then she needed to get it out of the house and away from the children. But what she saw wasn't what she expected…

"Inuyasha," she harshly whispered, "don't scare me like that."

"You said to come see you as soon as I get back, I'm back," he stated with a shrug and a cocked brow, "what's got you on edge?"

"I'm not use to people coming in through the window in the middle of the night," she rejoined but she sighed and let it go, "any injuries?"

"Completely fine," he answered, "no need to worry, like I said."

"You didn't take a short cut through the forest to get here, did you?" she quickly questioned.

"No," he shook his head, "it wasn't in our way. You finally figured out how dangerous that place could be, huh?"

She couldn't help but cringe at that as her hazels were casted down, "Sango-chan told you, didn't she?"

"Told me what?"

"Or not," she whispered as she looked back up to him, "I went to the well earlier this evening—"

"I told you _not_ to do that while I'm away," he asserted as his brows furrowed together, "how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Well, whatever, I did. When I was there I heard a scream and I went to see what was happening in the forest—"

"That's a dumb idea," he grunted, "you should _never_ do that."

"Well, I did," she muttered, "and… there was this thing that had… had killed this poor man. He tried to attack me but Kouga showed up and saved me, now him and his pack are out looking for it."

"Damn it, Kagome," he growled, "you idiot, don't do stupid shit like that!"

_I wasn't insulted by his curses, I knew that it meant he cared… they gave me pause for another reason. Should I tell him what it had said? That it had muttered the name of his beloved wife that he had lost? That he still longed for? Would it help or merely hurt him? I was fairly certain I already knew the answer… either way; he would go rushing out after that bastard just like Kouga had._

_And I couldn't lose Inuyasha..._

"Hush," she whispered, "everyone is asleep."

"Sango and Miroku ain't, they always do it when he gets back," he countered.

"I didn't need to know that," she sighed as she looked away from the squatting hanyou before murmuring, "Inuyasha… when you and Kikyou were protecting the town did youkais ever get away?"

He shrugged, "sure, youkais got away before I came just like some slipped away after I arrived. The smart ones did because they knew if they didn't they'd get killed and they all knew better than to come back, too."

She simply nodded at that—_that_ was probably all it was, something that had gotten away from Kikyou in the past, something that probably on returned because it heard she was gone. There was no reason to alarm Inuyasha, no reason to hurt him with the knowledge.

"Don't worry about it," he requested after seeing how the dread on her face finally began to fade away, "you aren't trained like Kikyou and Kouga is… a weakling," was the nicest word he could come up with.

"Right," she murmured.

That didn't seem to cheer her up like he had thought, so he decided to change the subject instead with a, "So what'd this thing look like?"

"Human like," she guessed, "but with really red eyes, long black hair, and pretty pale—like he doesn't go out in the light a lot. Kouga said that he smelled like a youkai but not a full one."

"That's weird," he stated with bent brows, "usually the youkais that lurk out in the forest are the ones that aren't born with a humanoid form or don't bother to ever take one on… Kagome, I don't want you going near the forest until this thing is figured out. If you wanna go to the well, just tell me, a'right?"

"Okay," for once, she'd actually listen to him. She'd hate to ever encounter that creature alone again… to ever see such a sight.

"You okay?" he asked as he bent his head down some to try and make eye-contact with her, "Kagome?"

"I'm… okay," she supposed as she looked up to him, "it's just… I've never seen a dead body before."

He nodded to that, "well, you're lucky you've got a man with youkai blood. With the way you're always getting into trouble you need it."

_I didn't realize until much later what that could have meant. At first I think it was just him semi-approving of Kouga but if that was the case why would he say someone with youkai _blood_ and not _a_ youkai? Because… he could be that someone, he had youkai blood, too. Back then I didn't dare to think like that, to have hope in his feeling for me.  
_

"Whatever," she muttered with a roll of her eyes.

"You do," he asserted again, "anyway, I'll see you later."

"You're leaving?" pouted Kagome ever so swiftly.

"It's late, you need to get some sleep," he answered as he stood up to start towards the window again.

"But," she started before he could open it, "can't you stay? I haven't been able to sleep tonight… I think I'd feel better if you were here. We could go get another futon and roll it out for you, please, Inuyasha?"

That stopped him for a moment before he nodded and turned around, taking his sword from his belt as he knelt sat down below the window, "I'll stay."

"You can't possibly want to sleep like that," she asserted, "that looks so uncomfortable."

"It is how I usually do," he replied with a shrug, "now just go to sleep, Kagome."

"If you say so," she sighed as she lied down with her back to him. It was only then that she could finally let her eyes shut without seeing the horrid sight of the dead body. Somehow, just having him there to watch over her made it easier to allow slumber to take her.

_Sometimes, just having him around made everything easier… and other times, he made everything worse. It just depended, I guess._

_If only I knew then that was only the start, that he'd be back—how horrible Naraku would make all our lives... how he could destroy some before they could even start. _

_

* * *

_

**_A/N_**_: I wrote this chapter already and then… It disappeared from my computer. That really pissed me off. Oh well, c'est la vie. I think it's better than it was before anyway. Hope you enjoyed, **please review**._


	19. How Ashes Can Haunt

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**1**_9: How Ashes Can Haunt**.**_ °•.  
{…}

Three sits on Monday, two on Tuesday, and four on Wednesday was extreme. She didn't mean to be cruel but he had been out of line all week, constantly saying cruel comments or scoffing about something he shouldn't, he _asked_ for it. Whenever he came over, he'd _order _her to make him something to eat as if they were married or he felt he had the complete power in their friendship. Whenever they'd pass each other by as she went to work he'd scoff about how skanky the outfits were or something about her man being an ass. Whenever shed' ask him to escort her to the well he'd say some smartass remark about how he's too busy to bother with her—when all he really did was lie on his roof staring into nothing.

She had no other choice and that's what she kept telling herself. He had even had a worse mouth than usual, spouting out curses every chance he got. Really, she should have simply avoided him but she knew something had to be wrong and that's why she kept going back to him over and over again…

"I've sat him once today, even," sighed Kagome with a shake of her head before taking a sip of her tea, "I just don't understand. I thought we were doing so good…"

"Today hurts Inuyasha more so than any other," her other-mother began to catch her attention, "this entire week is very hard on him. Monday marked the anniversary of his son's still birth… today means it's been six whole years since Kikyou's death."

"I had no idea," she murmured as she bit her bottom lip, "I've been awful to him… I feel terrible. I'm sorry, today must be hard for you, too."

"That it is, but I have accepted that she is gone and I know her soul is in a better place and with their child. I miss her still, always will, but I am sure she is at peace wherever she is. You needn't worry, he never mentions it," she soothed as she reached over to pat her hand softly, "and you have come to mean a great deal to him."

"Has he told you that?" she murmured while her eyes flickered up from her steaming cup to the soft expression on the lightly wrinkled face in front of her, the smile that laced it was sad yet strong—conflicted. Part of her was truly upset by the tragedy the day marked but another part, the one in control, was ready to continue to move forward to focus on what family she had left instead of being consumed with what was lost.

It was one of the many reasons Kagome was drawn to the woman, they both had a child that they could not yet reach—hers back in her world, her other-mother's lost to death which was a place she could not yet go to. It was a pain they could sense in each other and while together it even faded close to being all the way gone.

"Inuyasha almost never says what he really means to _or_ how he feels. I've just known him long enough to realize these things without him really having to tell me," she explained, "you are very important to him, why else would he always be so concerned about your whereabouts?"

"I guess..." she shrugged before her eyes ventured up to the others, "may I pay my respects to Kikyou-sama at her grave?"

"That would be lovely," she said with a sweet smile, truly touched by the offer. "My daughter would have liked you. She'd enjoy that, thank you, dear."

"Of course," she replied.

"Kikyou would have also wanted him to find happiness," she declared as Kagome rose up, "even if that meant finding comfort in another. She would have really wanted that, anything to make him smile again."

All she could muster up to that was a smile before she left.

_After all, in a very strange sort of way that I needed to thank Kikyou. If not for her relationship with Inuyasha I most likely would never have met him and that… that was something I was extremely thankful for, even back then._

_He did give me my child._

A small bouquet of flowers seemed appropriate for the occasion and she did manage to find a fair set since March had commenced, meaning she did not have to wait too terribly longer to venture down the well.

When she reached the graveyard and followed the directions her other-mother had given her to locate the tombstone for Kikyou she saw that someone was already there. Somehow she wasn't surprised to see that person was Inuyasha who had already been standing there since they parted ways that morning. His golden gaze fixated on the stone; the one right next to it also caught her eyes—_Mareo_.

The name Kikyou had given the child that never saw sunlight or known the love that he could have had within the world.

"Kagome?" snapped her back to the present as her hazels shifted up to him, subtle surprise seeped into his expression, "what are you doing here?"

"I came to pay my respects," she replied as she held out the flowers towards Kikyou's grave, "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was the anniversary of her death and that's why you've been such a... well, not acting appropriately lately."

"Oh," he murmured as his dulled sunlit stare shifted back to the stone in front of him, "I didn't think you'd care. I kinda thought you hated her."

"I don't hate anyone," Kagome assured as she walked up to the grave and knelt down to place the flowers in front of it, she plucked two out to set in front of the smaller one beside it for their son as well, "particularly not someone I never met. I just really dislike it when you get us confused."

"Oh," he repeated gently before silence covered the two, her hands went together as she closed her eyes to pray for both the souls that were lost to his world too soon. When she stood up once she was done she turned to Inuyasha who only smiled at her in a way she had never seen before… it was sore, subtle, sweet, and _so_ sad as he whispered, "thanks."

_Something came over me in that moment, it overwhelmed me, I wanted—no, needed—to make his pain go away. It was sudden but I did it anyway… at least shock overtook the sorrow if only for a moment._

Her arms wrapped around his neck as she closed her eyes to hold him close, "I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now. If there's anything I can do for you, just say the word."

Stun did consume the hanyou for a moment from the gesture but after a second or two he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her back before shutting his eyes to mutter again, "thanks…"

Together they made their ache for what was no longer there go away, if only for a while.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Nothing but the sound of the subtle wind that grazed through the graveyard could be heard as they sat next to each other to stare at the memorials for his lost wife and son. She didn't feel like pressuring him into speaking about his sorrows would help the situation but she could tell—at least she hoped—that staying with him would make him feel just a smidge better.

Until he finally broke the silence, "I think she just gave up…"

"Hm?" she hummed as she turned her hazels from the stone marked with _Mareo_ to the subtly sad hanyou.

"Kikyou," he whispered, "she gave up on life after our son… I never knew that could really cause someone's death."

"It can't," Kagome countered softly, "didn't she die from a complication with the pregnancy that no one could foresee?"

"That's what everyone thinks, there was no outward physical sign that anything was wrong so Kaede thought it was internal bleeding or something but… but I know it wasn't that, she just gave up—she let go of life," he sighed before clenching his fist together, "she told me before she died that she didn't know how she could help or protect others when our… our child could die within her. The next day she was gone, I left her alone for the first time since… she said she was tired, she just wanted to go to sleep some. I wanted to stretch my legs but when I returned… she wouldn't wake up. She just let go."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, what more could she say? She couldn't imagine his pain, to lose two things so precious to him in such a short period of time…

"I don't get how she could do that to me," he muttered with a small shake of his head, "if Watanabe didn't tell me about the other world when he did I might have given up, too. I thought… I thought maybe I could get back what I lost but now I know that was wrong of me. In the end, I've lost more anyway."

"I'm not mad about that anymore," she promised as she placed a hand on his shoulder, "I understand."

"I want him back," he asserted, "more than anything, Kagome."

_It always seemed like I was the one that needed our son back the most but that was self centered of me to think. Inuyasha was just different, like my other-mother said; he was just keeping it all on lock down. He missed him as much as I did—he was in pain, too. How could I have been so blind not to see that?_

It was an impulsive move, but she leaned forward to plant a kiss upon his cheek. Instantly gaining his stunned attention, "we'll get him back; we just need to have faith."

"I hope you're right," he murmured.

"I think it's time we give him a name, don't you?" she questioned as she folded her hands together, "we are always just referring to him as our son. I've been avoiding it because… I'm scared that I'll become more attached and that I might not get back to him but now… now I want to believe that we'll find our way back anyway—I'm willing to risk the pain."

"I've never thought about it."

"Liar," she countered calmly, "you must have, I have, so what names have you come up with?"

"What's it matter?" he questioned as he glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, "he's probably been given one already."

"When we get him back he'll be one, and as his parents we should be able to change his name as we desire," she argued, "have you honestly not once thought of any sort of name?"

"I was thinking Hisashi or Kazue," he admitted.

Hisashi—always—or Kazue—one blessing—they both seemed fitting but the first seemed perfect. Regardless of what happened, they would always be his parents and _always_ long to see him. With a soft smile she nodded, "Hisashi, I like that a lot. His name is Hisashi. Now," she declared as she placed a hand on his shoulder to help her stand up. "you need to come home with me. I'll make you some ramen."

"I'd rather stay here for a while longer," he replied until her gasp forced him to look up at her.

"You must be either very sad or very sick if you don't want ramen," she taunted lightly.

"Fine," he grumbled as he pushed off the ground to stand up, "if it'll appease you then I'll go with ya' and let you make some ramen."

"Yes," she responded with a small shake of her head, "it would be my honor to cook for you."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Gasps gave way to moans at the feeling of lips caressing her sensitive skin as a rough hand moved its way up her inner thigh, she tilted her head to the side to let his nibbles move up her bare chest to her neck until his mouth encompassed hers before his finger slipped into her to start working her gently, his thumb stroke her almost pulsing pearl to give her new shivers.

His own hardened desire rubbed against her soft skin as his tongue slipped into her mouth, tracing hers before moving to explore every crevasse of the place he so often ventured.

Her feeble fingers fondled their way down his strong and perfectly carve chest down, down, down to the stiffen stick to begin to stroke it, causing minute moans from him.

"Kagome," he groaned against her shivering skin before he made her almost cry out, that was when he slipped his cum covered fingers out of her to situate himself at her entrance.

"W… wa-wait," she stammered as she placed her hands on his chest and softly looked up to the blue eyes, "n-not yet…."

As every time before, a flash of disappointment did cross his façade before he pushed it away to nod and roll over beside her, "a'right…"

"Thank you for being so understanding," she murmured as she wrapped his sheets around her, "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," he countered after he turned on his side to look at her, "you've never had sex before, have you?"

She shook her head; it was strange, wasn't it? She had a son but not the conventional way. It wasn't until Kouga and she had began to get intimate that she knew a man's touch but she had let to allow him to go all the way, wondering all the while if it was simply because she was not really ready or… if it was just not him that she truly wanted.

"I understand it's a big step, I'm willing to wait as long as I need to," he promised as he kissed her upon the head, "you're worth it, Kagome."

To be told that, to have him dote over her with constant praise, made her heart soar and soul feel wondrous. She would never hear such pretty words from a hot-headed hanyou, never be told she was worth so much, never bestowed with such affections… and the fact that such a thought came to mind when she was wrapped in another's arms, a man that had even told her that he _loved_ her, made all those good feelings fall to the side.

"Can you do me a favor, Kagome?" he questioned as he nuzzled up next to her, "I get you and mutt-face are friends and all but… you cook for him too much, almost as much—maybe more sometimes—than you do for me. I think you two spend too much time together, can you knock it off some?"

"If I didn't cook for him he wouldn't eat well," she countered, "were you living here when he was with his departed wife?"

"Yeah," Kouga dragged out, "so?"

"_So_, he's still very broken up about that, he needs someone to take care of him at times. It's just food, Kouga, it's not like I'm cleaning his house, doing his laundry, or anything else. I cook for the Higurashi family, for Miroku-sama, Sango-chan, Ayumi-chan, Yuka-chan, and Eri-chan—sometimes even for Ginta-san and Hakkaku-san. I know you two don't get along but can't you relax? It's not a big deal."

"Those aren't the same things at all," he rejoined as he sat up to gain her full attention, "look, I'm sorry about his wife—I am. I knew her; she was a nice gal and helped make this town as safe as it today. Some youkai avoid this place like the plague still even though she's gone, but… damn it, Kagome, Inuyasha's… it's different with him. Can't you just do this one thing for me?"

"I don't get it," she sighed as she narrowed her eyes upon him, "you don't see me complaining every time you go to your private pack meetings with _Ayame_, do you? When you two have to have dinner together to talk about things that don't—in your words, Kouga—_concern_ me."

"What's that got to do with anything?" he retorted, "Ayame's like a sister to me. I've known her since she was just a kid in the pack. Her grandpa is the pack leader of the East, I'm future pack leader West, we have those dinners to talk about our relationship and so that I'm updated on what happening over there."

"Inuyasha and I have dinner or lunch or whatever so that I'm kept updated on his lie and he on mine, it's the _same _thing. Besides, Ayame has a thing for you," she asserted, "and she cooks for you plenty."

"She does not," he countered, "you don't get the bond between pack members at all."

"Right, because I'm just a mortal so I can't possibly understand _anything_ about your pack situation—"

"Kagome," he snapped, "that's not what I'm saying and you know it."

"What _you _don't understand is Inuyasha and my bond," she argued but stopped herself before she confessed anything further.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean, huh?" he growled, "or are you just going to say it's _complicated _again, because I can't possibly understand _your_ situation."

"It _is _complicated, Kouga," she dragged out in a whine as she flipped over in her futon, "just drop it, I don't want use to fight over this. Inuyasha is my friend, Ayame's yours, we're even."

"That's not fair," he grumbled, "Inuyasha… he's got a thing for you, can't you see that?"

"I look like his dead wife, that's all," she countered as she shut her eyes, "you knew her, don't you think we look alike?"

"A little, I guess," he sighed before lying down next to her, "whatever… good night."

"Good night," she muttered back.

_I wasn't right for Kouga; I had known that for a while I just… wasn't ready to let it go yet and apparently neither was he. I liked the way he made me feel and... I loved the feeling of being _loved_ and that was something only Kouga was willing to offer me._

_At least, that's what I thought._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

The words that the crude hanyou had said to her still rang in her ears every once and a while, how she _needed_ a man with youkai blood to protect her… his implication that she couldn't tend to herself, couldn't protect herself, but what made them hurt was the truth that laced them. She couldn't do anything to help herself, let alone someone else.

Then again, that wasn't strictly true. She could once the person was already hurt but she could not prevent it.

That was why she brought up the topic at one of her training sessions with Kaede on herbal remedies, "so what do you think, Kaede-sama?"

"I think ye are helpless, as Inuyasha said," Kaede asserted only to watch a wince of pain from her. "But ye can change, if ye'd like."

"I do," she swore as her eyes shot up to the creaky old lady. "I really do. I want to be able to protect myself and help those I love."

"Inuyasha," Kaede stated rather than guessed.

"Wh-What?" stuttered the blushing girl as she looked away, "no, I don't… I mean that's not what I…"

"He is the most important person to ye in this world," she countered softly, "it is he who ye always speak of, he who ye wish to help, he who ye wish to prove wrong."

"Well, I'd like to prove him wrong," Kagome nodded, "so how do I?"

"I can teach ye how to defend yourself," the old priestess offered, "when would ye like to start?"

"Now," she requested. "Please, Kaede-sama? The sooner the better."

"It would be best," Kaede decided with a nod, "what with whatever has occurred in the forest lately."

"Kouga said they didn't find any trace of the monster, just the body," she murmured as her smile inverted, "and nothing of the sorts has happened since, everyone is talking as if it is just a fluke."

"I believe it is best to be cautious now than to regret later," she countered, "Watanabe-sama still says that the forest is off limits, if another week goes by without anything then he will allow people to take the normal short-cuts at their own risk. Now, shall we go train?"

_There were only four months left for me to wait and then I'd be back in my world. I wanted to be like Sango-chan, I wanted to be able to protect my child, and I didn't want to have to always rely on Inuyasha for my own safety._

_But then again, the worst danger had yet to be revealed and I didn't yet know how badly I would need Inuyasha to keep me safe. I didn't know how dark and sick some souls could be, but I would soon find out… and the pain that came along with such knowledge._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_After another couple weeks of training I wasn't very good at "protecting" myself, but I was working on it. I thought that was worth something, still I needed to do better. I didn't have all the time in the world, I had three more months and I'd be gone._

_That's what I kept telling myself, gone to never return._

Another pull of the string of her bow to let yet another arrow launch towards the target only to hit the outer edge instead of the bull's-eye like she had been attempting all morning, which was enough to earn another sigh… at least all the arrows hit the target, that was an improvement. Her range was getting better; it was the aim that was still off. Once she got the hang of it she would cease to be the damsel in distress she was so often labeled, she could protect _herself_. Now _that_ would show the horrid hanyou.

"That's weak, Kagome," caught her attention, her dull hazel gaze shifted up to one of the trees nearby where said hanyou lazily laid in, "have you _ever_ hit the middle?"

"Come down here and show me how it's down, why don't you?" Kagome questioned his silence was an answer in of itself, "that's what I thought."

"Keh," was all he said.

"So, why are you always up in trees? I've never seen a dog do that," she stated.

"I've seen plenty of priestess better at archery than you," he rejoined to spark a subtle roll of the eyes from her.

"I know, but I'm getting better, I'm trying," she insisted as she pulled back the string and aimed another arrow when she released it a wince escaped her lips as she dropped her bow to lift her right hand up to inspect the cut that formed along her index finger from the feathers that graced her skin as it flew off.

She barely noticed him leap off the tree to come up to her before he took her hand to glance over the injury, her hazels lifted up to his curious sunlight gaze.

"Idiot," she muttered before he sucked on the wound to make it stop bleeding, when he was done he pulled out a white clothe from his red fire-rat robe and wrapped it around her finger. His brow cocked when he looked up to see her flushed face, "you okay? Do you have a fever or something?"

"N-no," she stuttered as she turned her pink cheek, "I'm fine… good. Th-thanks."

"A'right," he murmured as he glanced over her curiously, "if you say so."

_It was wrong, I knew it right away, that such a small act made me feel more than I ever did with Kouga—and we had done far more intimate things._

_I felt so bad that I decided I had to make it up to Kouga, I felt I had betrayed his trust. So after our date that night and when he invited me home with him I went with the certainty that I would give myself fully to the handsome man that had been so patient with me._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

A chuckle left his lips as they fell upon her futon, his hands grasped her hips as she looked down at the happy youkai, "you're frisky tonight. What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing," she shrugged as she leaned down to start up their kiss once more, their lips parted and mingled before tongues tangled, his fingers fiddled with the obi of her waitress outfit to let it loosen around her, usually it was he who took it all the way off but that time she parted it slowly to let it slide off for him to watch, grinning all the while.

"Kouga… tonight I want to," she slowly started as her hands ventured down to part his top to show his built chest, "I mean I want us to…"

"I get it," he assured, not able to hide how much that made him happy—the building bulge under her showed that.

"Good," she smiled before he flipped her over so that she was the one on the bottom. Quickly his lips left hers to venture down her neck, across her collar bar, then to her right breast—automatically hearing a gasp from that.

"You are probably the most sensitive woman I've been with," he felt the need to point out as his hand trailed down her flat stomach to her ebony waves then below that to watch as her body bent towards him.

She wanted to ask how many woman that was since she knew she wasn't his first—and also already was aware she wouldn't be his last—but his mouth smothered hers before she got the chance as his fingers swirled within her to dampen her.

"Ready?" he questioned.

_No_ came to mind before anything else which stopped her instantly, he must have sensed her tension but guessed that it arose from the wrong reason, "I'll be gentle."

_I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Kouga was perfect and he cared so much about me but… I didn't want him to be the first man that I had sex with. It was a prime time to have it for me, too, since it was one of the days labeled as 'safe' in my cycle—no risk of getting pregnant. And since I started to court Kouga I had been using an herbal treatment that Ayumi-chan, Eri-chan, and Yuki-chan all told me helped prevent pregnancies so it wasn't like I was scared of that…_

_It was the fact that someone else was on my mind._

"Kouga…" she warily started as her hazels shifted up to him, "I… can't."

"Why?" he sighed as he pulled away to grab his clothes.

"I don't really know but… I just can't."

"Damn mutt," he muttered while he stood up to put his garment on, he barely noticed the look of surprise on her face. "I'm not an idiot, Kagome; I can see how you two look at each other. You were an item once, weren't you?"

"It's really complicated," she answered.

"Everything is _always_ complicated with you," he sighed with a shake of his head, "your past is complicated so you can't say much, your family situation is complicated, this and that is complicated, complicated, complicated. Kagome, you are worth waiting for but I can't wait forever. I get the feeling that I'm never going to beat that mutt for first place. Whenever he goes away on a job with the monk you do nothing but worry, whenever you two get into a fight you do nothing but complain about it, so… that's it. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

And that was the last thing he said before he left… she knew what that meant, it was his way of saying they "were done"... somehow, sadness didn't take hold of her at that. She had long ago accepted that the ending was coming, it was what she did next that surprised her. That she'd regret by night's end.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It was instinctive; she put back on her clothes and rushed across town to pound upon the door of the hot-headed hanyou that had gotten in the way without even knowing it. Sluggishly, he answered the door to look at her as he scratched his arms and yawned, "what?"

She had invited Kouga home after the end of a night shift on Saturday so it made sense that he was asleep but she was somehow still surprised she woke him, "I was thinking since we have a son together it only makes sense we have sex together at least once."

A cocked brow was his first response until he asked, "Are you drunk or somethin'?"

That was all it took for her to come back to her senses as she shook her head lightly and stammered out, "You're right. That was silly, forget I ever said it."

He did consider that option as she turned away but he decided against it and grabbed her arm to yank her back to him instead, once her stare returned to him his lips met hers as he pulled her into his place, closing the door behind them. The second his lips parted hers to let their tongues collide he jerked her off the ground so she could wrap her legs around his waist and arms around his neck as she pressed herself upon him all the more.

In a fumbled feeble attempt to get to the bedroom he knocked into the table but didn't topple over, instead he stumbled to keep balance and not break the kiss as he knocked into the doorway, with his back up against it he paused to bounce her up to make sure his grasp was still firm on her—finally that was when they broke for much needed air and opened their eyes to look into the others.

If either said anything they knew the moment would end and neither wanted that so instead their lips touched to twist once more, she'd suck upon his lip, he'd nibble against hers before he walked in to kneel down and let her gently fall upon his futon. He was the one to break their second kiss to let his lips migrate down her cheek, align her chin line, then to her neck that already had some red marks upon it.

_Kouga_—he knew that right away and the knowledge infuriated him into placing his lips over each of them to nibble or suck upon them to cover what Kouga had done with his own as if to say—_take _that _you wolf bastard._ Of course, she hadn't any idea that was what gave his actions such vigor or else her smile would not have been so large. Her hands rummaged through his silver tresses while his groped their way along her body up to her breasts, her quick intake of breath won a grin from him so he parted her yukata to massage them without anything in his way. He rubbed her not yet perky pink tips with his thumb to spark shivers through her body.

"You're _very_ sensitive," he murmured against her skin to make her breath quicken. His tongue trailed down her neck until he slid his hand along the left breast to replace that touch with his mouth; tugging, nibbling, and suckling followed suit. His hand halted after it migrated down to her bottom to knead and rub, igniting her body to press against his. It was then that he brushed his excitement against her dampened region, both still hidden behind clothe.

"Ah!" She gasped to give him shivers as he parted what separated them while her shaky, soft, hands parted his rat-fire robe; he shrugged it off to let it fall to the floor as his hamaka pants fell to his bent knees. A muffled "nh" that came out of her lips as she grasped his silver hair tighter, he didn't have to ask if she was ready, she didn't have to say it, when they glanced up to meet each other's gaze they already knew it.

The moment was a long time in the making; she still took a breath in to prepare herself for his plunge. Though it was her first time there was no pain but instead a pulse of pleasure as he began to pound into her—gently as he commenced his rhythmic assault, testing each spot he struck to see if it earn a new noise from her. When one finally won a special breath infused moan he thumped there over and over again to start to swirl her need in the pit of her gut.

It tightened his own yearning as he felt her begin to ripple and tighten around his throbbing erection, he didn't stop until her heard her unique cry as she met her pinnacle of pleasure. It took a couple more plunges for him to find his release. Pants left their lips as he collapsed beside her, trying to regain himself—but there was no need to let the feeling go too quickly.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"That was wrong," she asserted as she wrapped her yukata around herself before standing up to start a small pace around his bedroom, she didn't turn her attention back to him until he sat up—sitting shamelessly showing _all_ of him. She quickly looked away, "_Inuyasha, _put some pants on."

"What? Why? I prefer you without anything," he grinned as he pulled her back to his lap, yanking her yukata off all the way to look over her bare body.

"We need to talk," she insisted as she tried to get it back to cover herself only to have him pull her into a kiss instead. She placed her hands upon his shoulders to try and pull away but before she could he gripped her hips and began to rub her against him until they were both aroused once more and her nails ceased to dig into his skin to instead wrap her arms tightly around his neck. The new position allowed their kiss to deepen before something clicked and she yanked away to gasp a, "we _need_ to talk."

He rolled his eyes at that as he slid a hand down her thigh, across her leg, and up to under her small ebony waves to insert a finger in her to start to work her, he pumped his finger in and out before slipping another in to win a swift intake of breath. His thumb moved over to rub her clitoris to gain a moan as she leaned into him. She slipped her hand up to mold one of her breasts with his free hand before returning his lips to her neck, nipping at her skin with his fangs but not enough to cause any pain.

"Do you really want to talk?" he murmured against her to cause a vibration that felt grand to her, so much so that she shook her head.

He freed his fingers from her to lower her down upon his erect staff; he guided her inexperienced motions to and fro. Gasps fused with moans left her lips that were ever so close to his perky ear, the feeling of her breath against them gave him all the more pleasure. Some pride swelled in him when she began to straddle his hips—he must be a good teacher if she was starting to learn so quickly.

Then again… Kouga could have taught her a thing or two, the very idea made his grasp on her hips tighten before he began to buck up to meet her struts. Both gasped, groaned, and moaned between intakes of air before she was stricken by a blast of satisfaction right before gratification took him. They fell back into the futon both struggling for air. She shut her eyes while she rested her hands against his chest that kept rising up and down before she slipped off of him to lie upon her back, their legs still tangled together.

"Damn," Inuyasha sighed with a grin, "you are loud with the little noises you make. I've never heard anything like them."

"I'm sorry," she murmured before he rose up to rest beside her.

"Don't be, I like it," he asserted as he leaned down to kiss her again, he rested upon his side as he pulled her towards him—her back to his chest.

"Wait," she whispered as she turned her head away, "we need to talk…"

"You're right," he nodded against her shoulder.

"I am?" she questioned, a hint of shock in her tone as she turned her head to look at him again.

"No," he smirked before yanking her a fraction closer with one arm as his hand tilted her chin a little more so that he could lock lips with her once more. Some light spooning of her breasts and swirling tongues couldn't hurt, so she allowed him to carry on without any argument. They'd talk afterwards… probably.

When he slid a hand down to part her thighs just a bit she had an idea where his thoughts were going—for a fraction of a moment she considered stopping him but then… she enjoyed all the feelings that he could make fester within her from his touch. Her only fear was finding out if where it arose from-lust or love? The feelings or the incentive? Once he slid into her she gasped and wrapped her leg around one of his while her hand reached out to grab his hair as he rocked her gently.

"What about Kouga?" Inuyasha asked between pants.

A gasp left her lips before she managed to reply, "wh-what about K-Kouga?"

"Good answer," he grinned against her skin as he moved his hand up her thigh to grab her hip and pull her closer so that his thrusts went deeper to hit a spot that made her lips part and a minute moan slip out.

They barely parted while they rocked together until the pleasure began to build up to the point of bursting.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"We keep doing things wrong," she grumbled as she wrapped the sheets around her and sat up, feeling her clawed finger tips trail down her back all the while.

"Doing what wrong?" he questioned.

"Everything is out of order—completely backwards!" She rejoined as she turned to look down at him, "first we have a child without knowing each other, then we become friends, and now we're screwing each other before courting? Shouldn't we have started doing that first? Or do you just want to be fuck buddies?"

"Fuck buddies?' he grinned, "your world has such weird terms."

"I'm being serious," she asserted as she smacked his chest to get a grunt out of him. He sat up at that to reach out for his fire-rat robe.

"You're crazy, we should have done that a long time ago," he countered as he pulled it to him but what quickly caught their attention a folded paper that fell out of it. He paused for a moment before picking it up gently, his eyes longing locked upon it as he murmured, "I've missed it."

_That hurt. So much. I knew what that was… the photo of Kikyou he always kept with him. I was certain I knew what 'it' meant—sex with _her_. Not me, I had just given myself to him and he confused us once more… that hurt, more so than any other time before._

_It seemed like he would never let her go—never be able to see me as someone else._

"Inuyasha," she hissed as she picked up a pillow to slam against his shoulder over and over again, "you are such a jerk!"

"What?" he retorted as she grabbed her yukata and quickly tied it together, "hey! What? Seriously! Is it that whole—?"

"Sit!" She shouted when she saw him move to give up, "sit, sit, sit!"

The sound of him slamming against the floor was sweet to her ears as she sprinted out as quickly as she could, through the empty streets and out of town completely towards the thing that had brought her there to start out with. She gasped for breath as she fell to her knees before the well, grasping the rim of it with her hands ever so tightly as she shut her stinging eyes.

Why wouldn't it work? Why wouldn't it let her go home? That's all she really wanted. To see her brother, to hold her child, and to live happily ever after—probably _without_ the ever so insensitive Inuyasha—that was all she needed.

Why couldn't she have it?

Kouga never would have hurt her like that but _no_ she had to ruin that for a man that would never love _her_—never see _her_ for _her_. She took a shaky breath in before a set of tears started to trickle down her cheeks as she sat down and twisted around to lean against the well as she rose her knees up to wrap her arms around them and rest her forehead upon them as well.

_That night I cried myself to sleep on the bitter spring night… It might have seemed like I acted too quickly but I was so ready for him to hurt me that I left at the first sign._

_I was sick of him hurting me.  
_

_

* * *

_**A/N**: _Mareo: uncommon/rare one. I hope that this chapter didn't seem rushed, originally I was going to have it in two different chapters with "__After another couple weeks" being the start of chapter 20 but I thought that it would probably make more readers pleased to have some Inu/Kag romance sooner rather than later. Also, I need to update other stories before returning to this one._

_Hope you enjoyed and **please** review.  
_


	20. Shown to be Shattered

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_0: Shown to be Shattered**.**_ °•.  
{…}

March's blooming flowers gave way to April's showers, that's what woke her from her tear inspired sleep that morning. Reluctantly, she pried her eyes open at the feeling of the light droplets of water but what automatically caught her hazels was the pair of golden globes right in front of her. Her brows lightly bent together as she murmured, "Inuyasha?"

"You're being stupid," he stated only to earn himself a slap across his face. He grunted as he grinned his teeth together before he turned his livid liquid golden gaze back to her. "Why are you so pissed? Did I hurt you or something?"

Since her sudden departure he had been in search of her but he only got to the end of his street before the rain began to wash away her scent which pretty much meant she could be _anywhere _in town. After cursing the weather to hell and back he checked her home, the closed Howling Times, glanced around Kouga's place—which, if he _had _found her there he would have had to kill a certain wolf youkai—then Kaede's. When she was at none of those locations he thought she had done something absolutely ridiculous and gone into the forest alone.

It just seemed like a stupid thing to do and _exactly_ what she would do to him out of spite—for what, he hadn't a clue. Really, he had been racking his brain over it throughout his search trying to figure out what he had done that was so horribly wrong. Did he pound into her a little too hard? Did he accidentally harm her with his claws? Did he say something…? Was it honestly his disregard for "doing everything out of order"?

If so, he hardly saw that as fair. She was the one that ran to _him_ to have sex. A man could only handle so much and… he couldn't deny that there was something festering inside him for her. Affection or infatuation? Figuring out which one was exactly what he had been avoiding but absolute frustration was what he _knew_ he held for her after half a night of wondering around to find her.

He should have known to check the well sooner… the idiotic girl had fallen asleep there. She was but a human, didn't she know that? He was certain she'd get sick from linger out in the rain.

"You said you missed _it_! Having sex with your wife, with _Kikyou_," she hissed as she began to pat his chest down to find the photo that he _always_ kept with him. Her actions only confused him further as he cocked a brow and looked between her hands to her teary eyes. "I knew that's what you meant! You're confusing us again! W… where's the photo?"

She didn't feel it in his robe, she didn't hear it as he patted him down—he _never_ went out without it. So did he keep it somewhere else? But where…? Her puzzled expression turned up to him.

"Moron," he scoffed only to spark another try of her slapping him but he grabbed her hand before it could make contact, "seriously, Kagome, settle _down_ now—"

"_Where's_ the photo, Inuyasha?" she inquired as she tried to yank her hand away but she couldn't get it back.

"Kikyou's?" he guessed cautiously, "I thought that maybe it was time that I stop carrying it around with me… all the time."

"Oh?" she stuttered, but she wasn't going to let that soften her heart to what he had done. No, instead she shook her head and turned a cheek to him, "leave me alone. I'm still mad at you."

"Look, Kagome, when I said 'it' I meant _sex_, just sex," he promised, since he had kept loyal to his wife's memory for the past six years that meant… he had a very, very, _very_ long dry spell. "Now _stop_ crying already."

That did get her to blink away the tears that mixed with the raindrops as they slid down her rosy cheek. Her eyes shifted up to him, "not sex with Kikyou…?"

"I don't feel too comfortable talking about that with anyone to alone you… but you and her are completely different in bed. I couldn't confuse the two of you when we're… you know."

"I'm sorry," she murmured as she whipped away the water from her eyes.

_I felt silly once I figured that out… obviously, I had overreacted but he had already scorned me multiple times before-and would continue to in the future. He was always confusing us, so my faith in his ability to keep us separate had lowered to nearly nothing. _

_And probably more importantly I was starting to feel too comfortable in his world that I feared… I might want to stay. I suppose I was just looking for a reason to explode on him or anyone. I needed something to remind me why I had to go home and _stay_ there._

"Don't worry about it," he asserted, "we should go back, moron."

"You are such a jerk," she grumbled as she let him take her hands to help her to her feet. The wince he received when she was up right stopped him as his eyes shifted up and down her.

"Are you okay?" he asked before his eyes dropped to her bare feet that were a bit banged up from the rocks, twigs, and anything else she ran over on her way up to the well, "you _shouldn't_ have come here when you know that the forest isn't safe, Kagome. And you should wear shoes next time."

"I was upset," she muttered, obviously she wasn't thinking straight but she was also a bit sore which he could tell when she made an attempt to step forward.

"Was I too rough with ya'?"

"No," she assured softly, "I'm just not used to… because I've never… and so many times, too."

"So you and Kouga never?" he coaxed out, he couldn't help but grin as she shook her head before he bent down in front of her, "come on."

At first she hadn't a clue what he meant by that before he dawned on her with a small smile. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he grabbed her legs to stand up to carry her back to his home where he placed her down at the table.

"I'll make you breakfast," she offered.

"Uh-huh," he murmured as he went into his room to grab a blanket and returned to drop it on her head, "you're dripping wet. Do you want to get pneumonia?"

"You're wet, too," she pointed out as she began to inspect her feet that would be better in a day or two at most.

"I never get sick," he countered but he still left the room again for a couple of moments. When he came back he was in a sleeping yukata and held out another one for her. It was a good idea, that much she was certain of, since her clothes was equally as drenched as his.

"Why don't you sit—?" she started only to wince when he slammed down on the ground, "ops. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to do that…"

"I _hate _this damn thing," he growled as he grabbed the prayer beads, "Kaede's gonna pay for this!"

"Settle down," she ordered as she patted the spot beside her, reluctantly he got up to take the spot. For some reason she pushed his chin to the side so he wouldn't be facing her as she slid off her drenched yukata to slip on the other.

"I've seen you nude," he stated as he pushed her hand away but that time he could look over her but she was already tying the night to cover herself fully.

"Mmhm," was all she said to that while she leaned her head upon his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I'll make you breakfast in a bit…" she murmured.

Somehow, he doubted that would actually occur. Certainly, sleep would take her before she got up. But he didn't mind that as he nodded with a small smile as he shut his eyes as well. He murmured, "uh-huh."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Doom and gloom encompassed her on her small stroll around the town, her hazels locked upon the ground as she sighed once more. At the end of the month she would need to find a _new_ place to live was the horrible information that had been bestowed upon her that morning by her landlord who would no longer rent to her. Why? She thought she was a good tenant and even when she asked the question he just shook his head. He even seemed _scared_ of the notion to continue to have her around…

Not to mention the utter awkwardness that swarmed between Kouga and her all day at work.

Or the sting she felt when they happened to be behind the bar at the same time, him tending to the early drinkers and her finding a cloth to clean one of her empty tables. She had noticed him glaring at her behind her back all day, his attention suddenly going anymore but her when she looked his way. Surely she didn't reek of Inuyasha, the rain had washed away his scent from her—at least, that's what Inuyasha had said. He even offered to put it back after she woke up but she hadn't the time for that, she had to go to work.

But when she was searching for the cloth she glanced to one of the glasses and could see her reflection… and the red marks that were all over her neck. Her eyes grew huge as she slapped a hand over her skin—that would explain a lot of the stares.

"Kouga," she had murmured as she stood up to look at him weakly, "can we talk?"

"You're fucking the mutt," he stated harshly, "what's there to talk about?"

It was harsh, it _hurt_, but she deserved that so she just bit her lips together and turned away to finish her work. Ignoring all the while the smile from Ayame or the way the redheaded wolf youkai hung all over Kouga that day. Though, he didn't seem to give a damn about that.

Those were some of the thoughts that haunted her on her aimless walk that she hoped would somehow take away the guilt and gloom.

"Good evening, child," she heard to snap her back to the world; her eyes had to wander a bit before she saw Kaede there. "I have been looking for ye."

"Oh? Why is that?" she asked with mild curiosity.

"Would ye like to become my apprentice? It would give you more time to practice your archery and your herbal skills are now good enough that you could help those around the village with almost any illness. If ye accept there is an extra room in my hut where I have always had my apprentice live," she explained.

"Really?" She chimed with a smile, "that would be perfect! My landlord won't rent to me anymore."

_And, maybe more importantly, I thought that helping people was something that would give my life a little more meaning. For the short amount of time I would remain there. That's what I kept telling myself at least._

"Good, tell me when ye wish to make the move, I am sure Inuyasha will help ye with all your things," Kaede nodded before she started off on her path once more.

That returned some of her cheer as she started towards the home she had been aiming for from the start. When she reached the right door she knocked rather harshly until her hanyou opened it. With his usual charm he grunted a, "what?"

"You're a jerk," she declared as she bypassed him to enter his home.

"What'd I do now?" he grumbled as he slid the door shut to turn around and look at a rather unpleasant girl.

"Look at my neck," she asserted as she rubbed it, "I've been getting stares all day! You could have mentioned that before I went to work the other day! I feel horrible… Kouga and I _just_ stopped seeing each other and it's obvious I already went to you… work has been as awkward as possible."

"Whatever," he shrugged as he sat down, "you can stop working at Kouga's bar now that Kaede wants you as her apprentice."

"How…?" she started almost breathlessly before her eyes narrowed upon him, "_you_."

"Me?" he questioned, "me what?"

"Here I've been thinking that my landlord doesn't want to rent to me anymore because he's a friend of Kouga but then he would be mean instead of frightened…" the latter part had been what really bothered her. If it was because of Kouga—which seemed like such a petty thing for him to do, something out of his character—then he would take pleasure in kicking her out, not try to do it as kindly as possible while cowering away from her. "You didn't threaten him, did you? Then make Kaede ask me to become her apprentice just so that I wouldn't live close to Kouga any longer or work for him?"

Now _that_ was something Inuyasha would do—it fit his character perfect.

"Keh," he muttered, "you think I'd plan all that?"

"Yes," she snapped as she knelt down in front of him, "you _so_ would. You could have just asked me!"

"You would have never done it if I asked," he countered.

"Ah-ha!" She shrieked as she pointed at him, "you admit it then, you did it!"

"Damn it," he quietly cursed as he glanced away before sighing and turning his attention back to her. "Fine, whatever, I did it."

"Jerk," she grumbled as she stood up to attempt to stomp off only to feel him wrap his arms around her waist to pull her back to him, "no, I'm mad at you!"

"Whatever," he mumbled as he pressed his lips to her neck, "settle down. I only did it for your own good."

"How so?" she muttered as she folded her arms trying to yank herself free of his grasp but failed miserably.

"It's better for you to live with Kaede, she's powerful, and with the weird incident in the forest it's just better that you stay with her." The _weird_ incident that no one had any leads on whatsoever, at that.

"Her hut is on the edge of town, close to the forest," she rejoined.

"Blah, blah, blah," he grumbled as he started to suck upon her skin as his hands rummaged up her stomach to her breasts.

"Inuyasha, stop," she ordered as she grabbed his hands, "I'm mad at you."

"Uh-huh," he nodded as he held her a fraction closer, "come on, Kagome."

"Not the neck," she demanded even though it meant she was giving in, "no more marks, okay?"

"Fine," he grumbled as he parted her yukata to expose her shoulder for his assault. Nibbles and light licks trailed across her soft skin as she leaned closer to him. He undid her obi so that her outfit could fall to the floor. His hands slid back up to message her bouncy mountains—sparking the sweet sounds she made when pleased upon his sensitive ears.

But there was nothing he enjoyed hearing out her lips than the way she moaned, "_Inuyasha_."

She turned around in his grasp so that their lips could collide instead, his hands slid around her to grab her rear while hers began to undo all the knots so his clothes could mingle upon the floor with hers. Inexperienced was what she happened to be, but that didn't change the confidence she felt with him around. She grabbed his stiffened but not completely hardened shaft to start to jerk it gently up and down to earn his arousal.

"No neck," she reminded the moment he began to suck upon that spot.

"So damn demanding," he grumbled as grabbed her chin to turn her towards him so that their lips could meet. She licked against them and he eagerly parted his to allow her entrance, but it was his tongue that took dominance. His that explored _her_ mouth.

He rolled her onto the floor, his bare body pressed against hers. His erection brushed against her thigh as her hands moved across his chest. She parted her legs for him. When she felt his stiffness at her damp entrance she ceased her assault upon his built chest and grasped a chunk of his long silver locks.

She gasped for air once the plunge came. He was the one that set the pace and rhythm as he beat into her, savoring the sounds she made—the 'nh's 'uh's and 'ah's that came out in stammered moans. He groaned out his own pleasure, not allowing his eyes to shut as they locked with hers. Only one thing gave him as much delight as his bedroom eyes staring up at him and that was her moaning _his_ name.

What set him off balanced, what killed his throbbing thrusts into her, was when the hand that held a chunk of his hair slid to his ear. It just threw him off for a moment but she seemed to take note of that and simply began to rub it, earning a whole new moan from him as he stopped his movements all together and lowered his head towards her.

The damn things were his weakness and her delicate hands made it feel all the better. He was off enough in his own world that she could wrap her legs around his hip—deepening his penetration into her all the while—and flipped him onto his back.

She gasped at the new spot he hit unintentionally in the process as her hand slid from his ear to his shoulder, it was only then he realized the change.

"Kagome," he murmured—every part of him was on fire. From his chest to his loins, he hadn't felt so alive in ages. He grabbed her hips as she started to straddle him, that time she didn't seem to be in need of his guidance so he instead let his hands venture to her rear to grab it, winning a moan from her.

It was her turn to pick the speed and rhythm; he merely had to learn to meet her thrusts with his own jerks. Even though the tension within both that threatened to send them over the edge was still building, he hated how little he felt he was participating in getting them there. He slid his hands up her from her ass to her back and pulled her chest to his before flipping them over once more, pulling out almost all the way in the process only to thrust back into her the moment her back hit the floor.

"Inuyasha!" she gasped as he grabbed the underside of one of her legs to lift it up to give him access to a new angle to plunge into her. It barely took anytime before she cried out—he was certain loud enough that all his neighbors could hear. A couple more thrashes into her gave him his own groan of pleasure.

When it was over he was upon the ground next to her as he panted for air and she gasped.

"You," he asked as he took in a breath, "taking that position with Kaede?"

"I guess," she murmured back as she turned on her side to rest her head upon his chest and tangled her legs with one of his. "If that's what is going to make you happy, I can."

"Keh," he murmured as he grasped the hand she had lightly drawing designs on his chest, "it'd be best for you."

Which, she supposed was the closest confirmation she'd get.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_I was blissfully at peace with the thought of being Inuyasha's woman even if I barely had any time left in his world. I was still happier for the few days I was under that illusion then I had been the entire time I was officially Kouga's. I naively assumed that just because we had sex we were together… but we weren't._

_He just waited to tell me that after my hopes were high._

Perhaps she should have been a bit more cautious but it was Kaede's decision for her to go to the waterfall in a long white yukata to sit beneath and try to clear her mind—which was far harder than she could ever imagine but it was just barely inside the forest and _was_ Kaede's idea. The whole notion seemed stupid, what good did it do to rest under the water while trying to clear her mind?

But… Kaede asserted its importance so she sat there, ignoring the pressure as it collided upon her head, and trying to keep her mind absent of anything—doing that even without the waterfall was a difficult task for her.

A beacon called out to her to force her eyes open swiftly. She stood up and jumped from the rock she sat on to the shallow river then to the ground while she whipped her damp somber strands out of her face. Her stare scanned around to lock upon the warped purple glow she had seen before. Her breath hitched in her throat when the figure broke through the trees so she could see the wicked smirk upon the familiar face.

"Hello there," he greeted as his maroon greedy gaze washed over her damp figure. It was obvious that the way her wet and almost transparent yukata clang to her form was what he was paying the most attention to, especially when they locked on the translucent area upon her chest.

"You are…" she slowly started, "that monster from before."

"You are the lookalike," he rejoined, "I can see the difference now. We'll be going now."

"We?" she retorted with a crude contort to her face, "what do you mean _we_?"

"You and I," he clarified as he took a step towards her, "I've been waiting for you to leave the safety of the town."

"Why?" she muttered with narrowed eyes, "why me?"

"I think you know the answer to that," he grinned.

Only grotesque notions came to mind, but one was certainly right… she just hoped it was the ones she feared the most. She asked, "Then why wait for me to leave the town? Are you scared of Kouga?"

"The wolf youkai?" he guessed before shaking his head lightly, "absolutely not, there is a powerful barrier around it that I cannot breach. You must not be a very good priestess if you did not realize that."

"I'll purify you," she asserted as she took another step back when he took one towards her.

"Liar," he chuckled, "you haven't the power to do that."

"No, but I can destroy you," a gruff declaration caught both their attention as Inuyasha leaped out to land in front of Kagome, unsheathing his Tessaiga in the process to point it right for him. "Who the hell are you?"

"Are names really important?" the arrogant man questioned, "I know you, hanyou, Inuyasha, isn't it?"

"You're leaving me at a disadvantage, I don't know what to call you," he growled as he clenched his handle tighter, "how about scumbag?"

"Naraku will do," he countered before his hands formed into roots to shoot out towards them; it took no real effort for Inuyasha to slash them away. He launched forward to try and slash at Naraku only to have him avoid the attack to try to stab the hanyou in the gut instead—failing when he spun around. It was a quick back and forth between the two—neither drawing any blood at all in the process. A swift slash of Naraku's towards Inuyasha was only meant to be a distraction so that he could shoot another aiming directly for Kagome.

She gasped but managed to dodge the attack by falling into the river, hearing her name being shouted out by her hanyou all the while.

When she surfaced for a gasp of air Inuyasha was there to grab her upper arm and yank her out. The sense of the warped presence was gone along with all other traces of the monster.

"You're okay," Inuyasha said as he let go of his held breath before his constant sunlit stare shifting over her stopped at her breasts. The way the fabric outlined them and was practically see-thru. "What fuck is this?"

"What?" she questioned as her eyes shifted down to where his laid, quickly she covered her chests with her arms, "stop staring, Inuyasha!"

"This is ridiculous! Anyone can see you almost nude!"

"It's supposed to help me focus!"

"Fuck that," he grunted, "you aren't allowed to do this anymore."

She rolled her eyes before saying, "don't we have something more important to focus on? Like who was that guy?"

"Naraku, whatever that means," he grunted, "he seems to have a special interest in you but I can't blame him when you are like _this_. Don't come out in the forest naked!"

"I'm not naked!" She shrieked, "Inuyasha, you are being a jerk!"

He rolled his eyes at that before letting his temper die down enough for him to talk straight. "I'll always protect you, Kagome. This whole training thing must be helping 'cause you were able to avoid that attack well enough."

"That's sweet," she smiled softly before she took his hands into hers so that her hazels could lock with his golden gaze, "Inuyasha… I have feelings for you, strong ones, and I think I may… may lov—"

"Kagome," he stopped her swiftly as he yanked his hands away from her, "I… I like you and all but… this isn't going to be anything more than it is now."

"And what _is_ it now?" she rejoined as she folded her arms with bent brows.

He shrugged, _shrugged_—and that was as bad as him flatly saying "friends with benefits".

_That was it. He scorned me one too many times, I decided I'd never try with him again._

_He could just go screw himself for all I cared._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_I was going to be strong this time; I wasn't going to go cry myself a river because the big bad hanyou broke my heart. I wouldn't wallow in my own misery, I'd just burry the pain. At the time I thought it could even be a good thing that meant my momentary worrying if I could go back to my world without hesitation would die. _

_That time I wasn't crushed, I didn't cry… I was mad as hell at him instead. The furry felt better than the gloom._

"I understand your annoyance, Kagome-chan," her other-mother assured softly over a cup of tea, "but Inuyasha does care for you."

"Uh-huh," she grumbled as she took a sip, he cared about having sex with her—and that was it. "He's a jerk. I'm done with him. I just can't wait to go home, only two more months and I'm gone."

"After the loss of Kikyou and their son was almost the end of him," the other began to weakly catch her attention, "they were both gone in the course of one week. He's still recovering even if it has been six years."

"I get that," she asserted back, "but what? I'm supposed to be okay with being nothing more than a…" she shook her head and looked away before snorting—she wasn't just going to be his fuck buddy.

"More importantly," she soothed, "he must be petrified of the prospect of letting you in only to lose you, too. You said he didn't start to act that way until after this Naraku character tried to harm you, didn't he? That must have been when he realized it was a possibility. Not to mention the fact that you have been _very_ fervent about your return to your world."

"I… never thought about that," Kagome sighed as her shoulders sagged, "but why can't he just say that? Why does he have to try and push me away?"

"Inuyasha never says what he means to, haven't you learned that yet? If you leave him on your own accord then he won't have to suffer with the guilty conscious of losing you any other way."

"What? I'm supposed to be able to read his mind?" Kagome countered, "why do I have to be the sensible one? Why do I always have to go out of my way? When I don't know how he feels about me?"

"I'm not saying you do," Mrs. Higurashi replied with a small shake of her head, "I'm just telling you what I think. Would you like to hear something I've noticed since your arrival?"

"Only if it _doesn't_ have to do with Inuyasha," she answered.

"It doesn't. All this time I have been wondering why your name isn't the same as Kikyou's, but the more I learn about you the more I see you and less of her. I think I finally understand. It's because you two are so different. And that even though you share the same energy, same glow, same purity, you aren't the same person, you both were utterly unique."

"Thank you," Kagome smiled, "that's sweet."

"You just need to give Inuyasha some more time to see that, too, if he hasn't already."

"I'll consider it," she murmured as she took the final sip of tea before standing up, "thank you for the lovely meal."

"Have a nice evening," her other-mother replied before watching her walk out of the door. The path back to Kaede's home had to pass by Inuyasha's door so she stalled for a moment before letting her weaker side take hold to lead her up to his door. Once she lifted her hand to knock she realized what a mistake it would be and instead shook her head and turned away… without ever knowing that he was waiting on the other side to instantly respond to her action.

A small sigh escaped him as he walked away from his door to lie down on the futon that they had shared only a few nights prior—her aroma still laced the sheets. He inhaled to enjoy the scent that would not last forever, reminding himself all the while that it was for the best.

… wasn't it?

* * *

_**A/N**: Thank you very much for the reviews._


	21. Her Hate of Hesitation

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_1: Her Hate of Hesitation**.**_ °•.  
{…}

_Did I understand Inuyasha's hesitation? Yes, I did, I even empathized with it a little but I couldn't be certain that was what he thought, that was just what my other-mother told me. More importantly, I put myself out there for him and he hurt me. I couldn't always be the understanding one, he _had _to make an effort… and if he really cared about me, he would._

That was why when she ran into Akitoki Houjo on the street after tending to a child with a mild cold she said yes to his request.

"Would you like to go to the summer festival with me?"

"What happened to you and Ayumi-chan?" She replied with a tilt of her head. From multiple conversations with Ayumi she knew the two's relationship was rocky at best. He wasn't forward enough for Ayumi's like and apparently she was too confrontational for him.

"We are no longer courting," he explained with a bit of a pout, "and I hear you and Akimoto-san have also split up. Is that why you now work for Kaede-sama?"

"No," she coaxed out, at least that wasn't the full reason. "Is that a problem? I know that Akitoki's Herbal Shop and Kaede-sama are sort of competitors."

"No, not at all," he assured with a smile. "Kaede-sama is more of a charity service. She is a very sweet lady; do you wish to become a priestess now?"

"No, just help," she replied, the whole priestess thing was in her past. Though, she was suddenly fine with the prospect of chastity for the rest of her life after being scorned.

"So would you like to go to the festival?" he brought up once more.

"I'd love to," she chimed. If Inuyasha didn't want to be with her than what was the point of her waiting around for him to do something?

"It's in the center of town, how about we meet outside of my father's herbal shop this evening?" he suggested, "I'll be looking forward to it."

"Me, too," she lied. Sure it would be fun, sure it would help time pass by, but did she honestly feel like going out with Houjo on a supposed date? No, she would have rather gone with a certain hot-headed hanyou but… he wouldn't have wanted to go with her. He had made that much clear.

And it hurt… she didn't want to cause Houjo the same. She knew that he only asked her as a friend to the festival so that night she would explain to him thoroughly that was as far as their relationship would go. She didn't want to be more than that with anyone but a certain silver haired hanyou...

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"It would be a great service to us," Miroku coaxed out with eyes locked upon the unenthusiastic hanyou before him. "_Please_ Inuyasha? Friends help friends, and we _are_ friends, aren't we? As of now, Sango and I are your only ones since you scorned Kagome-sama somehow."

"Did she say that?" he warily asked.

"Not in so many words, but she hasn't be speaking kindly of you the past few days to my dear wife," Miroku answered. "I'm not sure what you did this time, Inuyasha, but you do have a limited window to fix things before there is permanent damage."

"Whatever," he muttered as he glanced away to the over active children. The smallest barely managed to wobbly get to his feet on his own without falling back down, his older sisters playing with him to keep that from upsetting him. He tried to hide his frown as he said, "Masaaki's getting big, eh?"

"That he is," Miroku gloated with pride as he turned his attention over to his boy. "So, will you do it or not, Inuyasha?"

"This seems like something Sango would have asked Kagome before me," Inuyasha asserted as his amber attention shifted back to Miroku. The two trusted him with their children, obviously, but he was sure that Sango would prefer Kagome to tend to them than him. She was just better with kids than he was… she was a natural.

That was why he spent just as much time worrying if he could actually _be_ a fit father to his son as he did missing the boy. Honestly, deep down, he thought he knew the answer—he'd fail miserably at the task. He never had one to show him the way. Maybe… his son was better off without him? That was the fear the festered in his mind at all times. He did know, however, that their son would have a better life if Kagome was there. She obviously could be the best mother… she was obviously more than _he _deserved.

Did he love her? Maybe, if he did he didn't want to accept that. He couldn't. What if something were to happen to her? His heart couldn't take it. He had given it all to Kikyou and she… after her death, after losing their child, he barely managed to go on. He would not—could not—go through that pain again. The very thought of enduring that once was paralyzing.

It was enough to make him snuff out any chance at a life with someone new.

"She did, but Kagome-sama had plans already. She was willing to cancel to help us," he emphasized with narrowed eyes, "but then I thought you could do us this _small_ favor, couldn't you?"

"Fine," he muttered, "fine, I'll do it… what type of plans?"

"You'd have to ask Kagome-sama," he replied as he stood up to walk over and catch his not yet one year old son. "Will you be good for uncle Inuyasha tonight, Masaaki? Akiko, Akira, you as well, understand?"

"Yes daddy!" They sang before rushing up to leap on the hanyou, one on each side, "to the festival, to the festival!"

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, "I'll take you to the festival so your parents can have the night off."

The night off so they could do naughty things together, he knew that but the married couple deserved time away from their three children every once and a while so he picked up Masaaki and started towards the festival with the twins skipping around him, giggling and gleaming at every booth that held something they were interested in—which was essentially everything.

Babysitting wasn't one of his favorite pastimes but he could manage. When his nostril caught the scent of a certain female he couldn't help but lead the twins towards the next turn to lean forward and take a glance around and see her there—in a pretty pink yukata. It took a moment before his golden gaze was able to shift from her giggling face to the one that sparked it, _Akitoki Houjo_. Instantly his brows furrowed together while his eyes narrowed.

He knew he said he wouldn't stalk her… and it wasn't like that was exactly what he meant to do. He just so happened to be taking the twins in the same direction through the festival as she was going with her _date_. That was what her plans were? A date with Akitoki Houjo? That little weakling? Not too long ago Kagome had been in _his_ futon under _him_ and now she wanted to screw that mortal?

No… she wasn't aroused, she just looked pleased. He could have been overreacting; it could just be that they were two friends.

"Uncle Inu!" Akira shouted as she tugged his sleeve, "uncle Inu! We want flicker sticks!"

"You can't get those," he replied, "they are dangerous and you two aren't old enough."

"Please!" They chimed, finally earning his attention back fully as they pointed to the sparklers that they wanted so dearly. With a sigh he knelt down in front of them, rearranging Masaaki in his arms as the baby boy began to tug on his ears a little too much.

"Here you go," Houjo responded as he handed her some festive food, "enjoying yourself, Kagome-chan?"

"Yes, very much," she assured as she glanced around to decide which way to go next but that was when her glance landed on a set of familiar four—Akira, Akiko, and Inuyasha holding Masaaki seemingly oblivious to her presence.

For a moment, that earned a smile. It was sweet to see him tending to the children like that but then she checked herself—remembered what a _jerk_ he was—and turned her attention back to Houjo. Though… her thoughts could not stay with the nice human boy, it was wrong but they flickered to the few passionate encounters she had with the hanyou, all in the span on two days before he ruined _everything_.

Still, she could feel his lips on her skin, his rough hands upon her, the way his fingers fiddled with her, his tongue tangled with hers then the sensation she felt when he penetrated her… just the thought of it gave her a sweet tingle.

One that sparked the savory scent of her arousal that shifted all the way over to his overly sensitive nose. Instantly winning his entire attention and earning his infuriating jealousy. There was the woman that ought to be his standing around with a mortal that could _never_ protect her like he could aroused by the skinny man?

The way she bit her bottom lip as she smiled at him only made it worse—she was _enjoying_ herself. If he didn't have the twins swarming around him or Masaaki in his arms he just might have stormed over there and punched the smile off of Houjo's face. Envy was an evil bitch but he was certain that he knew how to get rid of any desire she held for Houjo.

But until then, he didn't have to stop keeping a watchful eye on her just to make sure that Houjo wouldn't try something suspicious with the far too trusting Kagome. Anyone could take advantage of her that's why he had to keep an eye on her… wasn't it?

She was too vulnerable if he were not around, at least that's what he decided.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It was certainly a poor idea for the elder priestess to go all the way to the next village over to aid in a birth by herself but she had refused Kagome's assistance when she found out she already had plans for that night—with Akitoki Houjo no less. That meant she had the quaint little hut all to herself once Houjo walked her home.

For a flash of a moment she felt lonesome and the flicker of ache that Inuyasha had caused her. Perhaps it would have possessed her longer if not for the sense of someone with youkai blood lurking in the hut so she held her breath and reached for her bow and arrow. Not that it would do her too much good in close proximity. Before she could fully pick up her bow someone grabbed her wrist and yanked her back against the wall.

A gasp fled her lips in the process while the assaulter's claws tore apart the yukata she had gotten just for the festival so that the pieces would fall to the ground. When she tried to pull away from the wall she felt her bare back touch a warm nude chest and something clicked. She knew who it was.

That was why her muscles relaxed even at the feeling of a fanged set of teeth nibble against her neck as rough hands rummaged up her skin to grasp her breasts—perhaps a little too rough.

"Hey," she started but the next thing she knew he had turned her around so that their lips could lock. His body moved rhythmically against hers, filling her mind with fog. Any malice she held towards him, any grudge she meant to argue about, faded from her conscious as she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer—if that was at all possible.

He grabbed her rear as he pried her off the ground; she wrapped her legs around him trying to keep their kiss from breaking in the process. Her mind was clear enough for a moment to be thankful that he decided to switch their throe of passion to her bedroom instead of in the common area that she shared with the elder priestess.

He broke the kiss as he dropped her against her futon. Before she had a chance to protest about the rude drop she found her front against it and hips up. Then he was inside of her, her cry got caught in her throat as she clenched her sheets. He was rough about it, too, as if he meant to prove something to her.

She didn't think she could form a word—not even his name—as he began to pound into her at an angle she had never experienced before. It sparked an array of new feelings as his hands kept her from collapsing. Nothing but grunts, groans, moans, and mixtures of them all left their lips.

A terrible attempt to cry out his name came when she met with the height of pleasure while he barely made a sound when his time came.

She panted hopelessly as if she had done of the horrible runs Kaede sent her on each day as she fully collapsed upon her futon—he finally allowed it. He wasn't touching her but she could tell he was trembling a bit himself. When she could finally take a full breath of air she turned around to the golden eyed hanyou. She meant to say something to him as his eyes poured into hers, an intense something she dared not guess at within his stare, but she forgot whatever it was.

His hands parted her legs before he commenced cleaning her below, earning an "mm" from her as she shut her eyes.

"You smelled like him," he grumbled once his lips were hovering over her stomach.

"What?" she whispered back.

He shook his head as he pushed himself up fully with one arm as the other parted her legs a little more, "ready?"

"Um," she started before she opened her eyes and grabbed the sheets, knocking him away in the process. She wrapped them around her then asserted, "no. That was the last time, Inuyasha."

"Keh," he scoffed in return, "because of _Houjo_?"

"Because of _you_," she countered as she slapped him on the chest, "you jerk. Because I can't just be your friend with benefits, either we're _just_ friends or nothing."

She wasn't even sure if she could be _just_ friends with him.

"What if… you matter more than a friend to me," he warily questioned as his golden gaze moved down her covered body then back up it once more.

"You'd have to be more specific," she stated as she sourly looked away.

He pressed his lips before forcing out, "I haven't… felt this way about someone since…"

"I can't be confused with Kikyou," Kagome countered as she turned her glare back to him.

"It's not that," he murmured, "it's something more…"

Honestly, she meant to stay mad at him a little longer. What he had done hurt her gravely but… the way his eyes were downcast, the subtle sadness illuminated by the moonlight that came through her window, softened her heart. He wasn't proud of what he had done to her; he wasn't a malice filled man. She knew that. He was an idiot, he could unintentionally hurt her by being that, but she doubted he'd ever feel good about harming her. Even if he thought it was for the right reason.

She sighed as she lied down, staring up at the ceiling for a while before she patted the place beside her. Once he joined her there she loosened her grasp on her sheets and met his golden gaze squarely.

"I demand an 'I'm sorry Kagome'," she stated, "before I decide if that's good enough."

"Sorry for what?" he rejoined.

"Seriously?" she snapped with bent brows. Then again, she could have been completely wrong. She sat up and tried to get off the futon only to feel him yank her back into his arms, "you are such a jerk!"

"You say that a lot," he muttered, "but fine… I get it. I… didn't mean to hurt you. I'm… I mean, I _am _sor…"

"Inuyasha, it's just three words, it's not that _hard_," she gripped.

"I am sorry," he finally forced out, "I'm so sorry, Kagome."

"That's better," she smiled as she turned around in his arms to look up at him. "And you owe me a new yukata. You tore mine to pieces, it was brand new."

"Did you buy it just for _Houjo_?" he grumbled with narrowed eyes.

"For the festival," she corrected as she rested her head against his chest, "which I noticed you there tending to Sango-chan's children. That was so cute; the way Masaaki clings to you is sweet, too."

Just remembering it won a warm smile as she shut her eyes. It was a fantasy she held so often. Inuyasha, her and their son, Hisashi, all together like a normal family. She would watch them play together as she made them a meal from within their home. Somehow, she was certain he'd make a perfect dad. No matter what, she knew he'd never let harm come to Hisashi.

"Sango and Miroku wanted to spend some quality time together tonight so they asked me to take the kids to the festival for a while," he explained. "I noticed you were… enjoying yourself with Houjo."

"You are the jealous type, aren't you?" she teased as she tapped his chest, "him and I were just there as friends, I made that clear to him. He understood and that's all he wanted, too. He had just broken it off with Ayumi-chan he wanted to talk to someone about it. He thought since Kouga and I had stopped seeing each other a while ago that I could understand how he was feeling. If you were listening to our conversations at all you would have known that was the main subject. It's sad, actually, since he is still very hung up on Ayumi-chan."

"Then why were you so aroused by his presence?" he gripped.

"I was not," she shrieked as she yanked away to look up to him with narrowed eyes, "you were spying on me, weren't you? That's why I could see you with them almost every time I glanced around."

"You were still hot for Houjo," he grumbled, "which is no longer allowed. I don't want you around him—"

"Not that it's _really_ any of your business," she started slowly as she rested her head against his chest once more. "But… it wasn't because of Houjo. I may have been thinking about… the last time we did this."

"Oh," he muttered before a smile shifted up his lips as he tightened his grasp around her, "okay, that's alright then."

"Glad to have your approval," she said with a smile as she shut her eyes. "Wanna stay the night?"

"Yeah," he whispered back. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out so he simply shut it and his eyes as he held the girl who would soon be asleep anyway.

Honestly, he meant to tell her why he had done it. He wanted to make her understand—to realize how badly he didn't want to lose her but… he had never been one with words. Somewhere along the way he'd mess it up, it'd come out all wrong.

So he just let it go, even if he knew he shouldn't have.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"You didn't encounter any problems on your journey, did you?" Kagome inquired as she poured Kaede a cup of tea. "I wish you would have let me come with you."

"No, child, I did not," she replied as her only good eye wandered around the room. "There has not been a sighting of that creature called Naraku since Inuyasha and ye last encountered him."

"I don't understand what he wants," she sighed as she raised her up cup up to her lips to take a sip.

"I have been thinking a great deal about that… and even more so of the glow you told me he emanates," Kaede confessed somberly. "I believe I know what it is."

"You do?" she chimed, "what? Do tell me, please."

"Have ye ever heard of the tales of the shikon no tama?"

Her breath hitched in her throat before she nodded, "the council… in my world, they each have a shard of that."

"I believe this Naraku creature possesses it. The _whole_ jewel," Kaede added.

"I knew it felt familiar," she whispered with a small sigh. "But this one… it's so much darker. Warped, like he corrupted it, this is bad, isn't it?"

"Very," the elder lady nodded, "very bad. The shikon no tama can either be pure if held by the right person or tainted with truly evil intentions if in the wrong one. It can give one great power or grant one a wish. I believe Naraku is using it for power, which is a clever thing to do."

"Why do you say that?"

"It is the curse of the jewel," Kaede began as she set her cup down. "If the wish is even _slightly_ selfish then it will be warped into the wisher's worst nightmare. He must know that and instead uses it for power."

"So… if someone were to wish for eternal life they would not be given eternal youth?" Kagome guessed.

"That's correct," she nodded, "that is why it is such a dangerous object. I foresee this man being a problem in the future… if Inuyasha is ever to defeat him; do not let him have the jewel."

"Why?"

"I do not trust him not to make a wish," Kaede answered. "I think it would be best if ye were the one to get the jewel in the end. I believe if anyone can make an unselfish wish it is ye. By doing so ye would be ridding the world of its danger."

"Truly?" Kagome asked, "like, if I wished for it to no longer exist…?"

"It would destroy itself," Kaede confirmed, "if ye are still here when that happens… please do it."

There was a grimness about the elder lady that usually did not cast over her—it seemed to make her appear ages older. Kagome lightly bent her brows together before she inquired, "are you alright, Kaede-sama?"

"Yes," she murmured. "Ye must be excited; soon ye will be able to return to the world ye were born to."

_Naively, I just assumed that was what had been bothering her since her return. It was true; I only had to wait a short while before the well was meant to open up again. Nothing was more enthralling than that thought. My thought shifted to that so quickly that I didn't even notice she never told me what she thought he wanted.  
_

"Kaede-sama," she started with a bit of a frown, "you know I do like it here… I just… I'm honestly not sure what I want to do anymore."

"Ye and Inuyasha have made amends," she guessed.

"We have," she answered with a soft smile.

"I wish the best for the two of ye," she stated sincerely. "Inuyasha deserves happiness as do ye."

"Thank you," Kagome giddily replied before her eyes shifted to the door. "I made plans for lunch; I'll see you when I return tonight. How about I make us dinner?"

Kaede merely nodded as the younger one arose to go to the door. She waved to the still bleak lady before she exited fully to walk down the path to the red robed man that waited for her. Her smile only grew as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him briefly upon his lips. When he authentically smiled back to her she could feel her heart beat quicken.

His golden gaze passed by her to the door where Kaede stood, he gave her a nod as she waved lightly to him.

"She okay with you being with me?" he questioned lowly.

Kagome turned to look at her mentor before back to her lover, "of course. She wants us to be happy."

"She ain't lookin' too happy, she sick or something?"

"I think she's sad," she whispered, "about me leaving soon. Probably a bit tired from her trip, too."

_We were happy. So happy for a while, just him and me, finally the couple I always wanted to be. He was my man and I was his woman… why couldn't things have just stayed like that? Why couldn't a certain someone speak up to tell me that there were horrors hiding around the corner for us?_

_Why couldn't she have just told me the truth?_

"Oh," he nodded at that as he wrapped an arm around her, "you're excited, huh? About the well opening up in two months?"

"Of course," she chimed, "we'll get him back soon."

"And then what?" he asked as they began towards the center of the town. "You going or…?"

Staying, there with him—she knew that's what he wanted to say. She just shrugged a shoulder as she looked up to him, "we'll just have to see, now won't we?"

"Keh," he muttered with a roll of his eyes, "whatever you say, woman."

"That's right," she replied, "whatever _I_ say."

He just shook his head at that again before they started a small, harmless, feud over nothing in particular.

_That was what we did so often—argue. It was like our thing and it rarely was ever detrimental to our relationship. It's just… we never argued over anything of importance yet._

* * *

_**A/N**: Thank you very much for the reviews._


	22. Fear's Forever or Hope's Nevermore?

**A/N: **_Thank you so much to everyone who voted so that Damned Deed could win First Place at Destined Awards for Otherworld fanfiction. I was not expecting that at all! I appreciate it a lot. For that honor I decided to give you a nice long chapter.  
_

**{ **•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_2: Fear's Forever or Hope's Nevermore?**.**_ °•.  
{…}

The final two months faded in a flicker because they had each other to keep them company and their minds off what usually dragged time out. She was there to cook him meals, he was there to keep her warm most nights. Whenever they needed a tryst it would always be at his—neither felt right with the idea of mingling together with Kaede just a thin wall away.

"Ye might as well move in with him," Kaede had once told her in passing, "ye spend most of the time there."

She just laughed at the notion more out of nerves than disapproval. Granted, they had known each other for now... almost two years, an odd realization for her, they had only been seriously courting since his invasion into her home after the festival. Barely longer than sixty-four days, was it weird she kept count?

The subtle thought at the back of all's minds as the time ticked away, closer and closer to the promised _one year _mark, was a blessing coated in concern.

"It's been too long," finally, he spoke aloud what they both thought. His golden gaze squarely fixated out the window to the maroon colored sky as the flaring ball that warmed the land almost too much finally began to fade.

"Too long?" she lamely questioned, already well aware of what he meant.

"That Naraku guy," he grunted, finally turning his attention to _his_ woman as she did the dishes. Quite a few times she had forced him to aid her but after she decided he did a _horrible_ job she ceased, saying it would take her half the time if she did it herself.

"How you keep this place so clean when you are so lazy is beyond me," she had once scolded him. He hadn't the heart to tell her why he made sure his home wasn't a wreck—it was the domain of his deceased wife. He kept it clean out of respect for her, knowing how she'd hate to see it a mess. As little as possible he mentioned Kikyou in Kagome's presence.

It took some time but Kagome finally set the final bowl aside and turned her watch to him, "maybe he's dead? Or just doesn't care about whatever it was he did?"

"Yeah, maybe," he muttered, "it still irks me that we don't know what he wanted."

"Kaede-sama mentioned something about it having to do with the shikon no tama," she stated.

"Yeah," he drew out, "I'd like to kill that bastard just to get my hands on it."

"The shikon no tama?" Kagome questioned as she walked over to sit down next to him, "why?"

"Why?" He rejoined, "didn't Kaede tell ya' about it? Didn't you see what its counterpart in your world could do? Keeping all those humans young forever? Just think what else it could."

"Inuyasha," she sighed with furrowed brows, "it's dangerous."

"Keh," he scoffed, "so says old wives tales."

"So says Kaede-sama," she corrected.

"Yeah, an old hag. If that dirty bastard has something so powerful, I think we should get it back from him. Who the hell knows what havoc he's been 'causing people with it?" He declared as he folded his arms.

_Somehow, I doubted that his concern was the safety of strangers. The warning Kaede had given me rang through my mind. She had after all known Inuyasha for years longer than I did. Did I trust him? Of course… did I trust him with something so tempting that could fuck everything up with one wrong wish? No. Not in the least bit._

_How is it fair that something so small could be so significant? That it could tear apart lives? That one—just _one_—wish, a couple words, could take something so precious away? Even if they were spoken with the best of intensions at heart… _

"Inuyasha," she snapped, his ears flinched at the sudden sharpness to her tone. Her eyes narrowed on him before she ordered, "look at me."

He rolled his golden globes before doing as she demanded, "what?"

"You can't make a wish on it," she slowly said, to try and drive it through his thick skull. "The shikon no tama… finding it, killing Naraku, all of that," as horrible as she might have felt to say it—as oddly as she did feel to the country of her words—she took a breath in before finding the strength to continue. "All of that… it's not our responsibility, Inuyasha. We have our own problems to focus on. Besides, _what _is so important that you would risk all those so-called _old wives tales_ being true to make?"

For a while, they merely held a locked fiery gaze before he finally gave in, "who says I'd make a wish?"

"You'd rather just keep it?"

He shrugged a shoulder, "there's no point in talking about this stuff since we don't have it."

"Inuyasha," she drew out.

"Kagome," he mocked, "you worry too much, anyone ever tell ya' that?"

"You," she grumbled, "all the time."

"Maybe you should listen to me for _once_," he rejoined before standing up to stretch his back before starting off towards his bedroom.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she inquired a bit harshly as she followed him to the darkened room. "I listen to you. Have I gone to the well by myself, hm?"

"Great, you listen to one thing I say," he retorted.

She opened her mouth to start a surely heated argument about all the times she cooked what _he_ wanted instead of her, how they were always at his instead of hers and yet _she_ was the one always doing the cleaning after their meals like she was his maid but instead she let out a shaky breath and looked away. "I don't want to fight… not tonight, Inuyasha."

At first, his tension didn't let up so she was sure the next word out of his mouth was going to be an aggravating one. Instead, his eyes shifted out the window to see that the sun was just about to relinquish its place to the moonless sky.

He just asked, "You want me to walk you back to Kaede's or what?"

"Inuyasha," she sighed, "don't tell me you are still mad."

"I'm not," and even though there was an aggravated edge to his words she could tell it wasn't necessarily focused solely on her.

"This is a… stressful, scary, time for me, too," she assured, "tomorrow… everything will be better."

"Maybe," he muttered so low that she didn't catch it; all she saw was a brief move of his lips and assumed it was a curse he knew she'd hate to hear. "Am I going to walk you home or what?"

"Inuyasha," she whined as she folded her arms, "why are you mad at me? Because I don't want you to make a wish on the—"

"Forget I ever mentioned that thing," he ordered, "now are you leaving or not, Kagome?"

"I'm not," she insisted, if she had a choice in the matter.

He seemed discomforted by that notion, so much so that it gave her a frown as he looked away and slid his hand through his silver hair, his brows bent together as his gaze returned to the sky outside.

"Inuyasha, what's wrong?" she whispered, "I really don't want us to be upset with each other now of all times."

"It's not that," he strained to say before letting out a heavy breath, "there… might be something I've been keeping from ya'."

That got her breath to hitch in her throat as her body stiffened. It wasn't that she cared he kept certain matters to himself, she was sure she had been keeping things from him too—just, unimportant things. The way he obviously fretted over whatever he meant to finally tell her made it… so ominous. He didn't have a mistress that much she was sure of. The townspeople might fully accept him into their society, but there wasn't a line of women wanting to throw themselves at him. He was, after all, the only hanyou in the entire place.

And, she _hated_ to hear it, but there was a rumor amongst the people that a hanyou's child could never survive birth nor could the mother and that was how they rationalized the sudden death of their believed Kikyou. They were idiots, every time she heard that she had half a mind to tell them she's still alive and so is their child but she'd always bite her tongue. That would just create more scandalous rumors. Due to that, though, there was an extreme disinterest every woman in town held for him. She knew, much to her dismay, that he had heard those whispers as well. That had to be why he was so worried about her pregnancy.

Other than a mistress… the only thing that she knew would upset her enough that he'd keep it to himself and visibly worry over disclosing to her had to do with his deceased wife. The woman that still held a piece of his heart so tight that Kagome knew he couldn't ever fully give it to her, like she had already done for him.

"Inuyasha?" she finally questioned after a mere second felt like an infinity of silence. "Tell me."

"Turn around," he requested with a whirl of his finger, "and close your eyes."

"Why?" she swiftly questioned.

"Just do it," he begged rather than demanded—that was the only reason she indulged him. Her Inuyasha never _begged_... She purposefully sighed heavily as she did as he said, shutting her eyes in the process.

"Okay… now what?" What could be so bad that he didn't want to look at her while he was telling her? Since when did he become such a coward? That made her have to swallow a lump in her throat, he would only be so cowardly if it was something _really_ bad… right? And though she racked her brain for any hint of an answer she couldn't really come up with anything exact. Perhaps something to do with Hisashi? Maybe Kikyou? Or, worse, both?

"Inuyasha," she complained, "please, you're killing me, tell me what it is."

Instead of hearing anything, she felt his hands over her eyes and chest against her back. At first, that relaxed her, until she lifted her hands to cover his and felt normal nails in the place of thick claws and soft skin instead of calloused. It was then that it struck her that any demonic aura had left the room.

Was it not Inuyasha? Had something happened in that minute that had escaped her attention? With a gasp she pulled away from the person to turn and around look at the slight stranger. Instantly, her brows furrowed together. Though the man—_mortal_ man at that—wore Inuyasha's classic wardrobe… the silver haired was replaced by onyx, and the amber eyes with auburn.

"Inuyasha?" she questioned before she could elaborate the best she could on how she felt, "I'm… lost."

"Yeah," he drew out, the voice hadn't changed bit. "I didn't think I could keep this from you as long as I did but… everything just fell into place. Every moonless night I waited for you outside the balcony, you never came to the window. You were either mad at me, asleep, or something else. Then once we got here… I don't know, it was just easy avoiding you on new moon nights. You never seemed to notice the connection."

That didn't help her at all, he could tell from the lack of a change in her expression. So he sighed, "I'm the only hanyou you've ever met, huh?"

She nodded weakly at that, "so… it is you?"

"Yes," he assured with a frown as he looked to his clawless fingers, "regrettably. Once every month a hanyou… becomes human. I have no fucking clue why, I hate it with a _burning_ fucking passion, but… for me it's the night of new moons."

"This," she slowly started before pausing briefly, "this is what you've been keeping from me?"

"Yeah," he muttered as he looked away.

"Oh Kami, Inuyasha," she snapped as her stiff shoulders finally sagged. She took two steps forward to push him rather harshly, "what's wrong with you?"

"Kagome—" he began only to be interrupted by exactly what he didn't expect.

"You scared me!" She declared, "I thought that it was _actually_ something serious. Why did you have to tell me like that? Why couldn't you just say 'hey, Kagome, by the way on tonight I'm going to turn human because there's a no moon'? I thought you were about to tell me something horrible!"

One of his brows that finally matched the color of his hair bent up as his curious gaze met hers, "huh? This is something horrible! I'm _human_."

"For a night," she corrected with a one shoulder shrug, "how bad can it be?"

"Bad," he asserted so seriously that it did make her pause, "I can't protect you when I'm like this. I'm fucking _useless_. I can barely even protect myself."

"Oh, Inuyasha," she sighed as she gently took his hands into hers, "nothing is going to happen to use while we're in the town. You know that. Are you… embarrassed about this? Is that why you are only now telling me?"

An aversive stare was her answer to that.

"I don't care what you are," she stated simply as she leaned up to kiss him upon the cheek, "you know that. Human, hanyou, youkai, whatever, so let's just lie down and try to get some sleep."

"Keh," he scoffed as he pulled his hands away from her to walked over to his futon, "I don't sleep on nights of the new moon."

"Seriously?" she questioned flatly with a raised brow. "_Never_?"

"_Never_," he assured her stiffly as he sat down with his sword in his arms and back against the wall, "go to sleep, I don't care."

"Inuyasha," she shook her head lightly as she knelt down on the futon, facing his way, "what's the worst that can happen?"

"You don't want to know," he muttered.

Her hazels softened on him for a moment, "of course I do, or else I wouldn't ask. Tell me, please, Inuyasha."

"I'm not talking about it," he countered as he turned his head to let his auburn eyes fixate out the window. That was the typical answer she received whenever the topic even _dipped_ into his childhood. All she really knew of it was that his father died shortly after his birth and mother when he was about twelve; otherwise she had no idea what had occurred… or how a little boy, even if he was a hanyou, could survive in the world all by himself at such a young age.

"Stop it," he ordered as his narrowed eyes turned to her hazels soaked in sympathy. She knew that he hated it when she felt sorry for him but… she reached her hand out to take one of his all the same.

"I can't imagine," was all she managed to say as her gaze dropped to the sheets. She had a father that loved her, that she had memories of, and a mother that tended to her. She had a younger brother who loved her—who she missed _dearly_ still—and lucked into the care of a kind elder priestess once she lost both of her parents. She never really had to make it in the world all by her lonesome. Not even when she arrived in his reality because she always had _him_ there to help her.

When he squeezed her hand back she looked up to see his usual stern mask had given way. His eyes were just locked on the ground, a terrible tinge of sadness spewed across his face. It made her heart contract and was why she jerked forward to place a her other hand on his shoulder so when she leaned in to press her lips against his she wouldn't be caught off balance.

At first he seemed surprised by her sudden action before he shut his eyes as tightly as hers and lifted his free hand up to the back of her head—letting his fingers get tangled in her ebony strands as he pressed her to him more. The painful memories of all the horrible times when he was all alone in the world dissipate from his mind. She parted his lips with her tongue, something she was shocked she could do without his consent. If he were a hanyou he could have easily kept that from happening but… now he was just a mortal, barely stronger than she.

Maybe she could even have a little fun with that?

Their tongues twisted together, hers exploring his mouth to see if his change made anything different. All she discovered was when hers graced the bottom of his teeth there were no fangs to accidently prick herself against. Her arm slid from his shoulder to wrap around his neck as she fell against him, their hands released each other so that hers could grasp a chunk of his noire tresses while his could grab her ass.

The next thing she knew she was in his lap, his hand moving up her thigh and her arms wrapped around his neck as their kiss parted. He seemed surprised by the burning need he had for air—sooner than normal, she supposed. She just smiled to him before she leaned her head against his shoulder; silence surrounded them for a moment before she felt the need to break it.

His chin rested upon her head, one hand on her outer most arm as his thumb rubbed it caringly, his other hand on her hip. She almost didn't want to ruin the moment but… she had to say it, "you know, Inuyasha, I won't think any less of you if… if you tell me about whatever happened."

Everything about him screamed "screwed up childhood", he knew that, so the fact that she wanted to know about it wasn't surprising. He knew she wouldn't think him any less manly if he confessed about all the times he almost wet himself in fear as he tried to out run much older and stronger _youkai_ that wished to kill him merely for the fact that he wasn't one of them—that he arose from the seed of one of them yet was part human as well. Still, he didn't want to start talking about it because… he might not be able to stop. The last thing he needed was her trying to fix him, too.

"Inuyasha," she said in a hush.

"I know," he murmured before he pressed his lips to her forehead. "I do, Kagome. It's just… I…"

"Did you ever," she warily whispered as her fingers began to fiddle with the purple pray beads around his neck, "talk… to her about it?"

She could feel him tense up around her, which meant he knew exactly who she was talking about—Kikyou. Honestly, she wasn't even sure why she brought it up. Was it jealousy? That he trusted her more? Or something else? She hoped so… she didn't want to be envious of a dead woman.

To her surprise he answered, instead of pretending like he never heard it. "Sometimes," he mumbled, "yeah, I did."

"Oh," was all she said to that. Not even in a definite tone so that he could tell if that was an 'oh' of jealousy, hurt, or just an answer to her curiosity.

He pressed his lips to the top of her head as he shut his eyes and took a deep breath in. He could still smell her scent but it was so faint… what good was it to be a human? How could she put up with it? Whenever he was forced to be one he…

"When I was a kid," he began softly, "after my mom had died, I hid every new moon. Anywhere I could find wherever I thought it was safest." He felt her stop fidgeting with the pray beads and instead let her hand shift upon his chest. "Once… I don't know how old I was, but I wasn't yet an adolescent. I found a cave that I thought I could take shelter in. I remember it was raining so hard that it almost hurt to be outside. It was late in the night already but I had been crossing through the planes so I couldn't find anywhere that I felt safe enough to stay in.

"I _hated_ to be traveling as a human. I… I was always really scared on those nights when I was young. Anyway, that night I didn't notice that there was something else inside the cave. I didn't check it like I should have; I just wanted to get out of the rain. I disturbed an Asiatic black bear that was sleeping in there and it came after me. I felt so stupid," he muttered, "it wasn't even a _youkai_ bear it was just a regular one but I was just a human so I ran and ran and ran. I tripped, like a moron; it slashed its claws across my back. I managed to get away, the night was almost over, but I was certain I was going to die… I passed out from the pain and probably how much blood I lost but when I came to I was back to normal and the scratch had began to heal."

He expected her to say something once he finished, to tell him horrible that must have been, how it wasn't his fault, that he was just a boy—to make up excuses for him so that he'd feel better about the situation he only thought of on nights of the new moons. Instead, a long silence consumed them before she pressed her lips against his neck. He shut his eyes and leaned into her touch.

"Thank you," wasn't what he had predicted her softly saying to him as she rested her head upon his shoulder once more.

"Thank you?" he repeated in confusion.

"For telling me," she explained as she took one of his hands into hers. Gently, she began to outline his fingers, palm and then traced the lines within it. He didn't know why such a small gesture enchanted him so much. Eventually, she pressed her hand against his, to see that each of his fingers were about an inch taller than hers. When she turned hers just a bit he slid his down to interlace them.

"Do you have any good memories of being human?" she asked.

He had to think about it a while before something came to mind, the small smile that had taken his lips from the way she played with his hand evaporated as if it never existed.

"Sort of," he muttered. "I was a teen and decided to take shelter high in a tree since not a whole lot of things could get me up there."

Is that where his habit arose from? Self-preservation? But instead of asking, she bit her lips, afraid if she disturbed the story now he wouldn't finish it.

"A… a girl who appeared about the same age as me, a human, was wandering by. It was stupid of her since it was already dark. A boy from the nearby village, I think she knew him vaguely, tried to force himself onto her. I decided I couldn't just hide up in the tree and let that happen so I climbed down and knocked him out with a fallen branch. She called me her hero, she wanted to repay me and when she found out I was just passing through and didn't have a place to stay she offered to take me back to hers… she said her parents wouldn't mind, that they'd be grateful that I helped her. I was going to say no before she said that there would be enough dinner for me as well.

"It had been a while since I ate anything, I couldn't remember the last time I had a home cooked meal… so I thought what was the worst that could happen? I went back with her. Her parents were grateful, she was their only surviving child and they really adored her. I remember I was really jealous of how… normal the family was. How they were all together, how they could just laugh and joke during dinner. It was nice; I didn't feel like the defected I thought I was. They accepted me, they were grateful to me. The dad kept saying how his daughter needed a man like me that could protect his little girl."

"That's nice," she whispered after he stopped for such a long period of time that she thought the story was over. "But, how is that only 'sort of' nice?"

"Because," he grumbled, "I fell asleep there when everyone woke up I was back to normal. They called me a filthy youkai, a monster, a horrible creature. They thought I had tricked them, that I wanted to murder them and steal their daughter. I got ran out of town. That's when I decided, no matter how good the situation might seem, I ain't sleeping when I'm a mortal."

"Inuyasha," she murmured as she pulled away to look up to him. Only, he wouldn't look back.

"It's alright, it was a really long time ago," he asserted, "it doesn't matter."

But it did, it was one of the many tragic events in his past that made him the way he was—untrusting, sheltered, afraid to let someone in only to have them hurt him like that family had. Instead of saying any of that she said, "is that really the best memory you have as a human?"

"Pretty much," he muttered, "I don't really do much more than sit up awake on nights like these anymore. It's not bad, it's just boring."

She shook her head lightly, "that's no good."

"I'm fine," he countered, "really, Kagome, it doesn't matter."

"We have to fix that," she argued only to win an annoyed glare from him. He just knew she'd go and start that. What was with woman and needing to _fix_ their men? He hated it, but before he could say any of that she cut him off as she started to part his fire rat robe. "So, tonight, we're going to make a _very_ good memory. That way, not all your nights as a human can be thought of as bad."

"Wait," he stopped her once his shoulders were bare, she just had one more knot to undo to get his chest completely clear. She looked up to him curiously, doing exactly as he said. "This… is how you're going to fix it?"

"Yeah," she replied as if it were the only obvious answer. "Have you ever had sex while human?"

Her oddly blunt statement caught him off guard for a moment before he answered, "no…"

"Not even," she drew out, not wanting or needing to finish the sentence—when he was married?

He just shook his head, not comfortable with telling her why. Kikyou wasn't a sexual creature; she wouldn't even allow the notion of sex before they were married. They loved each other, he was beyond pleased just to find a woman that accepted him as he was, but she wasn't gung-ho about bedding each other every chance they got—not even _after_ they were married. On nights without the moon she got him to at least lie down beside her, he held her, but they didn't dive into anything deeper.

"Huh," was all she said to that before her lips met his and she fully parted his wardrobe. Her hands slid up his bare chest to clench his shoulders. He was barely positive that _this_ was actually happening so when she pushed him onto his back he didn't think to resist—at least, that's what he told himself. If he knew what she was doing, he could have taken control… probably.

Their lips mingled as they pushed the sheets out of the way, he froze up completely when she slid her hand down his not yet off hakama to grab his still softened shaft.

"Something wrong?" she asked as she began to massage him below.

"No," he choked, scolding himself mentally for that slip up. Being _human_ left him so… pathetic was one word that came to mind. Sex with Kagome had always come almost naturally to him, finding her spots, making her purr for him, and all the feelings he received in exchange were equally wondrous. It was he that always held the control, every once and a while he would relinquish it to allow her to straddle him from above but he _gave_ that to her. Now he wasn't positive he could even take it.

When her lips met his again those thoughts slipped away until she took the warmth away by retracting her hand as she knelt over his stiffened region. She untied the obi that kept her yukata together and let it fall to the floor slowly, a smile on her lips from how obviously her action held his interest.

"Your hakama?" she questioned, she bit her lips together to keep from laughing at how quickly he fumbled to get it off. She knew if she let it slip then he would merely think she was laughing at him, not out of joy, not out of amusement of the situation.

"Ready?" She asked after his final fumbled attempt succeeded.

"Of course," he rejoined, which earned a smile form her—that was the impatient Inuyasha she knew.

She took a breath in as she slid down him, allotting herself time to adjust to him before she began to slowly—painstakingly so, even—straddle him. She could feel him squeeze her hip, almost begging her to pick up the pace, but it was so rare that she got the upper hand on him that… well; she wasn't going to give that up.

"Inuyasha," she gasped, knowing full well that just hearing his name off her lips in the heat of the moment was enough to appease him if only for a moment.

"Kagome," he growled, though it didn't sound nearly as ominous as usual. She grabbed his shoulders as she began just a fraction quicker, gradually building the tension within the pit of their guts. It was a pace that left them both needing more. As she rocked against him she felt him deeper and deeper into her tight center.

A sensation clicked within her, sending shivers down her spine as she finally began to straddle him like he had been waiting for from the start. He grasped her tighter; not having to worry for once about _how_ tight was too tight—he hadn't any claws to pierce her skin. He couldn't hurt her unintentionally as he so often feared he would. Sometimes, he didn't know his own strength, and he could never keep straight exactly how much a mortal could take.

He shamelessly moaned out her name as she bucked her hips against his, jerking him harshly in the process. There was a strain twisting within him that usually was absent but he wouldn't give in—he would not come before her. _She_ was always first; he always had the stamina to last longer. He wouldn't give that to her, too. Not everything in one night.

But the feeling of how she would soon reach her release—the shivers of tightness around him—made that goal harder. He let out a grunt of a breath as he shut his eyes and gave his body the satisfaction is so desperately sought—even if it was just before hers. Both panted for air, him more so than usual. When he felt her glistening chest against his he just slid his hands up her hips to wrap his arms around her.

For a while they merely stayed like that, each basking in the aftershock shivers of the heavenly sensation. Once her lips met his neck again, he opened his eyes just as he felt her tongue swirl around in a circle. He lifted a hand up to brush the sweat drenched somber strands out of his face while she worked her way down.

His auburns were fixated on her as she let her lips find their way down his chest, his stomach, and all the way to what was previously consumed by a different part of her. He still shock some from the release he had just given to her and the feeling of her tongue against his skin only made the intense feelings in the pit of his gut return as his eyes slowly started to close.

Until he heard a surprised, "oh!"

"Kagome?" he questioned as he looked down to her, but instead of his attention staying with her almost awe-struck expression it swiftly switched to her bare rear. "What?"

"It's just…" she slowly started; he tensed up once she touched his length merely to try and keep the anticipation from what was to come from affecting him any other way. "Your hair even changed colors all the way down here. I wasn't expecting that for some reason."

"Whatever," he whispered before sighing, "is that really important right now?"

She couldn't help but smile up to him—she wasn't used to the control. Usually, it was he who taunted and teased her as she quivered below him. He was vulnerable when he was mortal so it was wrong of her to take advantage of the situation but… then again, she didn't think he minded too much. He was still getting pleased, after all.

She slid her fingers up him so faintly that it was almost nothing more than a ghost's touch then back down the same way.

"_Kagome_," he coaxed out, an irritated edge to his one word.

"Inuyasha," she taunted back.

"If you are down there then you really ought to be doing something," he grumbled, "I endured enough of your taunting for one night."

"Maybe I shouldn't do anything," she countered as she smiled up at him.

"I'm going to get you back for _all_ of this," he warned.

She almost shivered at the thought, "so needy, Inuyasha."

"Keh," was his only reply to that.

She shook her head lightly before encompassing him with her warm, wet mouth. The teasing was done for the night she did, after all, mean to give him a _good_ memory of when he was stuck as nothing more than a mere mortal—as he would put it. Her tongue traced his length before she slowly began to bob up then down, almost to the point where she was no longer upon him at all, and then back to as much as she could handle.

"Kagome," he gasped out as he clenched the sheets once she sucked around him. It mimicked the feeling he got while he was actually inside her but with the added bonus of a tongue to massage him in between the clenches. Each time she did that he felt himself on the verge of losing himself. He knew if he were only a hanyou he wouldn't be quivering from her touch so helplessly, that he could last longer but he wasn't. For that night, he was a mortal.

And he was all hers.

"Kagome," he called out again to warn her, "I'm really fucking close."

That was her cue; she sucked once more before pulling away just in time to miss his release. Her small smile grew when he let out a heavy, shaky, breath. That would be a good memory that, hopefully, he would keep for a while. She crawled up to lie beside him so she could trace her fingers across his chest as he tried to recompose himself.

Even though August would start the next day, the warm weather had not let up. They would need to untangle the sheets from underneath them for that night.

"I'll return that favor," he promised when he could finally find the words.

"You better not forget," she replied before turning on her side to reform the pillow under her head. He took no time in following suite so he could wrap his arms around her.

"I'm not going to sleep," he asserted as he held her tightly, nuzzling his nose against her shoulder as he shut his eyes. The feeling of her warmth within his arms felt so right that night that it made all the usual anxieties that came with a moonless sky… as absent as the white ball itself. Her legs slid against his as she grabbed one of his hands, letting out a content sigh as she pressed her body against his a little more.

"Then don't," she replied, there were some arguments she knew she couldn't win. He was, by far, the most stubborn man she had ever met and surely ever would. "Just keep holding me."

He smiled against her skin at the request. That much he could do, he _wanted_ to do—forever.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Good morning," he whispered when she finally pried her eyes open to see a pair of golden globes staring back at her. Slowly, a smile shifted up her lips as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Did you really stay awake all night?"

"Yeah," he always did, though he may have dozed off for a couple of minutes… it was strange how safe he felt around a girl that could barely protect herself let alone a human him. He just chalked that up to the feeble feelings he got when he was just a mortal.

"Kagome," he whispered after it became apparent to him that she wasn't fully awake. "You know what day it is, don't you?"

"Uh-huh," she mumbled back. It took a couple of moments for her eyes to snap open and her to pop up. "We got to go, Inuyasha!"

"Kagome," he started as she stood up to head for his door, "Kagome!"

"What!" She rejoined, "today's one year. One year _exactly_ since we came here. Watanabe-sama said that the well would open today. We waited all this time, get out of bed!"

"Kagome," he drew out again. Irritation was apparent in her frown as she folded her arms to look at him square in the eyes. "You're naked. I'm not going to let you leave this house without any clothes on."

"_Oh_," she awed as she walked up to the futon to glance around the room. Once she found her yukata she slipped it on, just as he got his clothes back on. "Ready?"

"Yes," at least, as ready as he was going to be. They both wanted to run to the well but couldn't seem to muster up the will power to go faster than a walking pace. The sooner they got there, the sooner they'd find out if Watanabe was right—if they'd get their son back. If it failed… then there went their hope.

If that was lost, it'd be suffocating. It'd be the realization of their frequent fears.

Both held their breath once they got to their final destination. It was her who reached out to squeeze his hand.

"Are you ready?" he asked, she couldn't speak—all she did was nod. He held her close then before leaping down the well. She shut her eyes tightly as they fell while he kept his open, wanting to see if that blue wonder would happen like _always_ before arriving in the other world.

He let out his breath when his feet touched the ground, he could feel her squeeze him tighter, asking what she shouldn't.

"No," he whispered as he held her tighter, "it didn't work. We're still… here."

When she began to shake from her silent tears he just began to run his hand through her hair.

"I miss him," she choked out in-between sobs. A year—an _entire_ year had passed by. She had been living on the hope that Watanabe would be right, that she'd finally get to hold her son.

"I do, too," he replied. There was something he knew might finally make her feel better. "But, Kagome, being with you makes it easier."

She nodded her head as she looked up to him. He used his thump to whip away the remaining tears.

"Let's not freak out yet, maybe we need to give it a little more time. We did come through at noon-ish, it's just past dawn." Again, he watched her nod.

_It didn't, we waited all day and it didn't work at all… so, we made it a practice from that day forward to go to the well every day and jump in hand-in-hand so that we would never leave the other behind. Well, as long as we were together we did that at least._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"What do we do?" she asked finally as she stared into the fire, holding her hot cup of tea in hand. "We need to find some other way since this _isn't_ working."

"Maybe we should give it a couple of days while we think about it," Inuyasha replied as he sat down behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist. They only rested like that for a moment before a knock came to the door. Reluctantly he let go of her to open it up to the head of the town. "Watanabe."

"I'm sorry," he started as his stare shifted past Inuyasha to Kagome. "I am aware it didn't work. The worlds are not aligned probably."

"When will it be?" Inuyasha rejoined before his gaze shifted over his shoulder. He leaned closer to Watanabe and whispered, "_why_ did you have to go and tell Kagome a year? Why couldn't you say you have no idea? She's crushed."

"I honestly thought that they would have come into contact with each other by now," he explained, "I am terribly sorry. It's not an exact science. I'm sure waiting around is very, very difficult for you, Inuyasha—"

"You have _no_ idea," he harshly accused.

"Of course I do," he replied equally as sharp, "that child of yours is the key to the end of _our_ world—of _all_ of our existence."

"How?" He growled, "how can a one year old be so goddamn important, Watanabe?"

"He is part this world, part theirs," Watanabe answered, "I'm not sure how, but that's important. I think… perhaps the other-me always knew you were from this side."

"You are always _not_ sure," Inuyasha kept up.

"I've been working very hard to figure out what the hell is going on," Watanabe snapped back in a hush, to try and not grab Kagome's attention. "What do you think I've been doing this _entire _year? I've been searching high and low to find a way to get the worlds to connect once more. To figure out what my other self is planning and how long exactly we have. Do _not _pretend that your problem is the only one here. I sympathize with you, honestly, I do, but our _world_ is at stake here. Thousands and thousands of lives are being risked."

It took a moment but his shoulders began to sag as he chanced a glance over his shoulder. "Right… I know. This is really hard. What do we do, Watanabe?"

"Wait," he withheld a sigh at the cringe that caused Inuyasha. "I know, but all I am asking is for you to wait two months. That's all, then you can tear the world apart trying to figure out what is best for you and your family."

"Okay," won both of their attention. Inuyasha turned to see Kagome, "two more… long months."

"I'm sorry about all this, Higurashi-san," Watanabe added before he nodded to Inuyasha, "goodbye."

"Good night," she whispered back as Inuyasha shut the door. He paused for a moment before he returned to the spot he once held, right behind her with his arms around her waist. "I don't trust him, at all, Inuyasha."

"I've known him for eight years," he softly replied. "He was there for me when I lost… Kikyou. I trust him; he's not like the other Watanabe. He even helped train Kikyou."

To hear someone as untrusting as Inuyasha say he had faith in him was meaningful but… she still didn't trust him but she'd wait two months while they tried to think of a new plan of action just in case the well didn't work. Really, she hadn't much of a choice.

"Kagome," he whispered as he rested his chin upon her shoulder. "This is disappointing—"

"That's an understatement," she sighed.

"I know, but… Kagome, you're the cheerful one between us. If you lose hope I," he stopped there. He wasn't even sure what he'd do.

"I'll be fine," she assured as she traced the top of her cup. "I just… need time, Inuyasha."

He nodded against her should before the door opened up again. Neither even glanced over to see the elder lady enter her home. Her only good eye scanned over the two as she took the pot of hot water off the fire, poured herself a glass, and then put the tea leaves in.

"I am sorry," she stated.

_So were we… I was crushed. Devastated, but a part of me always feared that would become reality. That… the worlds would never align. That I would never meet my son. For some reason we weren't allowed to be a normal family. That's what I got for not doing things the _normal _way._

By the time she started to pay any heed to what her man and mentor began to discuss the first word she heard was, "barrier," she wasn't even sure what that had to do with their conversation.

"What's up with the barrier around town anyway?" Kagome finally questioned. "I get that it keeps any malice filled youkai out of here but… who keeps it up?"

At first the two just stared at her, as if it was a miracle she could speak at all, before Kaede answered, "me, partly."

"You okay?" Inuyasha asked, "you've been quite for a very long time."

"I'm fine," she whispered back before her stare shifted back to Kaede. "What do you mean by partly?"

"I was explaining to Inuyasha here why the barrier cannot be widened to the well," Kaede began. "The barrier is unlike others around large towns. This one is… better. It can do what they cannot."

"Yeah, and you said all that," Inuyasha asserted, "why don't you tell us why already."

"It keeps our village from fusing with whatever is in the same spot on the other side." Kaede confessed, "that's why, if it were to be expanded to encompass the well also that would not be a good thing. If the barrier covered it then the well wouldn't be able to connect with the otherworld. You would not be able to travel through it."

"Why would you want her to?" Kagome asked as she looked to Inuyasha.

"I just like having you inside it, that's all," he answered. "You're safer that way."

"How," she slowly began, leaning back into his grasp all the more, "did you create the barrier?"

"I didn't," the elder priestess started. "My mentor, the man that taught me everything, he created it. For one this powerful, a life had to be willingly given and… he gave his to create it so that our town could be safe from the chaos that had begun. Villages were disappearing left and right, hundreds of people just vanished and… then there were… the other situations."

"Other?" Inuyasha chimed in as his relaxed stance quickly altered, "Watanabe never told me about _other _situations."

"Aye," Kaede murmured as she lifted the cup to her lips to take the final sip of tea. "There was no need to burden ye. Now… I believe it is important that ye know what is happening outside our safe haven. It is easy, too easy, to forget what is really happening to our world."

"_What's_ going on, Kaede?" Inuyasha inquired harshly.

"Sometimes… when there is not nothing on the other side when the two worlds collide then… whatever was there and whatever is here…" she shook her head as she looked out the window. "You never want to have to see what happens when… two somethings collide. They… they combine. "

"Kaede-sama," Kagome cautiously began, "have you… you seen what happens?"

"Aye, child," she whispered, "Watanabe-sama is working to try and stop this from happening but… there are not enough willing strong priest or priestess in the world to give their life to create a barrier for many towns, let alone our entire world."

"Kaede-sama," Kagome quickly began as she leaned forward, "you aren't thinking… of doing something like that… are you?"

"No, child, I need to stay here to maintain this barrier," she answered. "It's hard, though, to stay here with the knowledge that… there is so many places that have gone to hell."

_It was then that I decided to do _it_—I just didn't know it yet. I don't know…. But I don't think that he ever forgave me. That's okay, though, since I never forgave myself either. It was best for everyone, I know that much. It wasn't best for us._

_He pretends, he feels indebted to me or something, but I know there's still a grudge within him that will one day tear us apart._

"You sure you are okay?" he whispered as he kissed her on the head. "Kagome, what's happening isn't our fault."

"I know," she whispered as she lied down, pulling the covers over herself as she shut her eyes. "That doesn't change the fact that I feel terrible."

"It's not our burden to carry," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her. Thanks to him she was able to actually fall asleep that night. Thanks to the warmth she gave him he, too, was able to finally find slumber.


	23. Fire for his Furry

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_3: Fire for his Furry**.**_ °•.  
{…}

Gently she swayed the infant she held in her arms, rocking the almost slumbering boy enough that he did not wish to whine. It brought a warm smile to her lips at the sight, at the feeling of holding something so precious in her arms, but… it wasn't her precious. It was her best friend's, who was kind enough to always loan him out to comfort her heart-sickness.

_Sango-chan was a blessing and so was her son Masaaki, only a week older than mine… it always made me feel better when I was around them. But then… when they were gone I felt worse than before. Envy ate away at me for the perfect family of five. Why couldn't _I _have that?_

"I thought you would have already known about the new moon," said Sango. "Miroku and I know about it but otherwise I don't believe anyone in town does. Perhaps Kaede-sama and Watanabe-sama, you know Inuyasha he doesn't really share secrets often. I don't think he would have told us if Miroku didn't walk in on him one night."

"Inuyasha… I don't know. He's weird about certain things, like he's afraid I won't accept him. Which is ridiculous," Kagome insisted with a small shake of her head. "I love him—as is."

"Have you told him that?"

"Told him…?"

"That you love him?"

"Of course…" she started only to stop, completely even. Sango ceased her steps shortly after her to turn her attention back to the blank look Kagome held. "No, no I haven't."

"Maybe you should tell him," Sango supposed with a smile as she tenderly took her son back, "you know him. He'll never be the one to say it first."

"I should tell him," she whispered with a nod before her eyes ventured down the street, all the way to where Kaede's little hut was. She'd wait until the moment was right, not in the midst of sex or anything like that. She'd say it when it would be romantic, something they could look back on and smile about. Everything else in their relationship was utterly backwards if not completely chaotic, this would be the one exception. Their first 'I love you's would be special, at least that's what she hoped. "I'll see you later, Sango-chan, Masaaki-kun."

"Say bye-bye," Sango requested while she waved Masaaki's hand.

"Bye," the little boy declared to catch both women's wide eyed attention.

A fragment of the smile that should have arisen showed before she said, "wow… his first word."

Sango just watched as her friend turned and walked away, knowing all the while that she must have desperately missed her son in that moment. It wasn't fair, not at all, that much she was certain of—any fate that kept a mother from their child. How her friend even managed to smile was beyond her, if something like that ever befell upon her… she wouldn't be able to smile let alone get up in the morning.

When Kagome got to the hut she could see it was empty before she even entered so she decided to go around to the back to see if Kaede would be there. Often, the elder lady would go sit out there and stare aimlessly into the forest.

"Kaede-sama," she started only to startle the elder lady. "I'm sorry, what's wrong?"

She turned her one good eye to her apprentice before inquiring, "do you know how the shikon no tama was created?"

"I do, Midoriko, a princess of an ancient land, was in love with a soldier. They knew that they could never be together, for she was from a high class family and him a low one. The only way that any relationship between the two could form would be if he became a war hero. Thus, he'd take reckless risks in order to become one. One day she learned that his regiment had been taken hostage by the enemy land, so she decided to do anything she could to save him. She heard of some magic by the high priestess of the council and decided to give her soul to save him. That created the shikon no tama of our world; she gave her life and made a wish upon it before she died—to save her beloved.

"From the start the jewel has been tragic tale, so any wish made upon it will have the same spin to it. The soldier lived, but lost the love of his life to forever be consumed with guilt. Hence why the council has broken it up, so no one can make the same mistake."

"Then the jewel in your world was created in a different fashion than ours," Kaede murmured. "Midoriki was a priestess. Upon fighting a very powerful demon, she realized she could not win, thus she joined her soul and theirs within her heart to make it good and pure. By doing that, she killed them both and created the shikon no tama. Inside of it, even still, the two souls fight each other. This battle depends on the person who has the jewel, if one is pure that Midoriki and goodness reign supreme while if the person is impure the demon and darkness take over. In my world, for a very long time, many creatures have desired the jewel in order to make them powerful."

"Does that mean the jewels are different?" inquired Kagome.

"I suppose, they both may have the same wish paradox…" the elder priestess paused for a while before another rounded the corner.

"I need to speak with Kaede-sama," he began before seeing the other there. His smile shifted up his face and greeted, "hello, Higurashi-san."

"Watanabe-sama," she murmured with a respectful nod.

"I will see ye later," Kaede replied as she stood up to walk away.

_I could tell Kaede-sama wanted to tell me something… and that bothered me. But I could do nothing but wait for Inuyasha to show up so that we could do our daily attempt at the well. Again, it failed… and worse, that night I had to go to sleep without the warmth of my love. The fool went off on a demon slaying job with Miroku. I always hated how he did that… it had been a long while since I arrived, but it stilled bothered me as August would give way to the fall. I always looked forward to when he returned, though._

_It was always... fun, to say the least.  
_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Sheets were cast aside; she didn't need them in the least bit. She already felt like she was on fire, burning from the inside out, and all because of the way her lover was devouring her. Her legs were spread for him, her mouth ajar as she moaned out inaudible sounds. His tongue lapped up liquid as his fingers taunted her clit; it took all her reserve to keep herself from thrusting into him.

_Right _before she was went over the top to meet ecstasy—something only _he _could give her—he stopped.

"You're cruel," she whimpered once she got her breath back, she could feel his hot breath as he hovered over her stomach then to her perky, erect, right nipple to lick it as his other hand messaged her untouched mound. Gradually, he made his way up her neck to her ear.

Then he whispered, "payback is a bitch."

The night of the new moon was what he referred to, she knew that, more importantly the way that she kept easing him, how she was the one to pick the pace, who picked _everything_ that night. Relinquishing power is not what he was good at.

"It's been a month, I think it's time to let that go," she murmured before he slid a finger deep into her. She felt his grin upon her skin at the sound of her gasp. Ever since that night every time they became intimate he dominated her, as if to remind her that he was still the man. Truth was… she didn't mind it in the least bit. The way he made her feel like hell's fire burned within her at his touch made every moment well worth it.

Tenderly, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he replaced his digit with his dick. Torturing her was fun for a while but after some time it became difficult for him to restrain himself. That's why when he started slowly it was more to keep himself from finishing before her than taunting her further. He groaned her name when she bucked upwards to meet his motions, matching his thrusts without trouble. They were in sync on so many levels.

Just barely she went over the edge before him, then he let himself go, leaning downward to relax against her shinning, sweaty, body. To him, there wasn't a more beautiful sight.

She smiled, not the usual 'that was great six, I'm exhausted' smile he was use to after one of their encounters. It was one that gave him the shivers… more like a 'I'll be getting you back' smile. Just to verify that he asked, "what are you thinking about?"

To screw with him, she just shook her head, as she nestled up against him and shut her eyes. He let it go, trying his utmost to ignore the fact that the new moon was just around the corner as he closed his eyes as well. For the time being, they were together, in his bed, on the brink of falling asleep, so what else could he ask for?

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_Thirteen months… thirteen whole months had passed us by. How could so much time escape us? Not just Inuyasha and I but our child as well. That was time we'd never get back, never be able to relive, never… and that notion would forever haunt me. Just as I imagine it does Inuyasha. It was just one of those things that we never talked about; if we did our hearts might shatter._

_Who's to say we could have figured out which piece went where again? We didn't need to talk about that type of thing. We had enough problems just trying to stay together. We were thrown a series of events that would, tragically, throw us off our original path… take us farther away from our son._

It was an ever so strange costume, but she thought it would be amusing, help them get their mind off of the constant failure of the well. The festival that was being thrown was all about oddities anyway, so that's why she decided to buy it. It took some time to get dressed in it before she went to meet Inuyasha down the street from Kaede's. Loud noises, mass amount of people, and a lot of activities wasn't exactly something that he enjoyed but for her sake he'd go through it all.

That's why she smiled when she saw him, but it instantly disappeared when his dull expression switched to bent brows. He looked far from pleased as he began to undo his top.

"What the hell are you wearing?" he growled.

"This?" she questioned as she looked down to the white top with a red ascot, short green skirt, high white socks, and strange "foreign" shoes. It was a bit expensive but she thought he'd like it, not hate it… "you don't like?"

"Not when we're in public," he grumbled as he threw his fire rat robe on top of her, "what were you thinking?"

"I'm only wearing it for you," she countered with a pout, "come on, Inuyasha, you're being unfair."

"If that's the case then you should show me this in _private_, anyone can see your legs this way, any pervert could stare at you."

She just rolled her eyes at that but to appease him wrapped the robe around herself some more, he could be so strange sometimes, but everyone had their faults. "So, you still want to go to the festival?"

"If we must," he muttered.

"You're no fun," she teased as she nudged him in the arm, leading him through the main road filled with the best booths. This and that would catch her enthusiastic attention, in which case he'd stop to give her time to glance over everything before the next object caught her eye. Sometimes it amazed him how she could still glisten with such innocence after everything she had been through… after all they had endured.

What he didn't know, was that the worse had yet to come… when screams cascaded form the edge of town his ears perked up. The festival noises fell for a while, waiting to see if they would repeat, he was ready to spring into action when he heard the second.

"Stay here," he ordered before leaping through the crowd. He barely heard her call out for him to stop. In one way, her constant concern for him was touching but to him it was almost equally annoying. Did she not think he could handle himself?

"Keh," he scoffed at the very thought. He'd been protecting the village for ages, killing youkai for longer, she really had _nothing _to worry about. But what he saw when he landed at the edge where all the screams came from he found something he had not expected… let alone, understood.

It wasn't youkai reigning terror on those who lived closest to the barrier, nor did they have the ability to get in, but… humans, some who lacked essential body parts, were what streamed in to topple upon whoever wasn't fast enough to out run the slow creatures. They had begun to tear apart someone so he ran in to slice and dice them off of the injured person. The only reason he could do such a thing was the fact that they reeked of death, at one point they might have been human but now they were… somehow the walking dead.

Back at the festival things had become chaotic, people were running in every which way to get away from whatever was happening on the outskirt of town. All the same, Kagome tried to follow in the direction Inuyasha had gone in. She didn't have her bow and arrow so she wouldn't be of much help, maybe she should stop by Kaede's first? Pick up her things? She had gotten much better at archery; surely she could be of some assistance to him. Then again, she had no idea what was happening and her irrational side wanted to get to him above all else. To make sure he was _okay_ and not hurt.

Something caught her eye before she could, instantly winning her full attention as she glanced down an alleyway. A little girl all alone, now that was wrong, did she get separated from her parents? Amidst the screams and scurrying the poor little thing had to be so scared, Kagome couldn't help but walk up to her to place a hand on her uncannily white kimono.

It was only then that she realized something was wrong with the girl… she did not feel like a youkai but not a human either—her aura was something different.

"Hello?" Kagome cautiously questioned.

The girl turned to her then, showing Kagome that it was more than just her kimono and hair that was as white as freshly fallen snow, but her skin as well. What slowly earned Kagome's curious hazels was the mirror that the girl clung to. There was something wrong with this… very wrong, but before she could turn to get away she felt her strength grow weak as a pale blue mist wafted out of her and into the mirror.

Kagome couldn't comprehend what was occurring, hadn't the faintest of ideas, just as Inuyasha was baffled in his conquest against the walking dead. Neither having any idea how in danger the other was.

Somehow, Kagome just knew, right before she faded into unconsciousness, she whispered, "Naraku…"

_Even then, I knew he was behind it. The monster that made a bad situation worse and worse... it wasn't only Inuyasha and my happiness he would destroy. For that, I was truly sorry._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Groggily she found her way through the strange sensation, as if her energy was being returned to her, until she located the power to open her eyes she saw nothing more than a dimly lit cave. Gradually, she pushed herself up to look all the way around. There was only one exit to the part she was in, but what didn't make sense to her was _how_ she got there.

The last thing she remembered was a girl absent of any hue, white from head to toe. There was a strange mirror and then… nothing.

"You're awake," won her attention instantly. She turned to look at the entrance where an all too familiar monster stood, a repulsive smirk upon his lips. "Enjoying the accommodations?"

"Naraku," she grumbled with narrowed eyes, she grasped the red robe that was still wrapped around her. "What do you want?"

"Nothing you can give me at the moment," he assured as he took a step closer, relishing in the way she quickly leaned away from him. The little priestess wanna-be was well trained compared to last time, clearly alert to his presence, but he was certain that if he wished he could destroy her without a problem. She was but a mortal, and they were frail creatures.

"Why am I here?" she rejoined as she got to her feet and took two solid steps away from him.

"You're bait. I left a trail faint enough that your hanyou will be able to follow us here. I want that bastard _dead_ and then," his smirk grew stronger as he proceeded forward. She was backed against the lightly damped wall, nowhere to run when he was just a step away. Cringing in revulsion, she turned a cheek to him as he raised a hand up to run the back of it down her cheek. Quickly, she slapped it away, only amusing him all the more. "Then we can have some time together."

"Go to hell," she spat in retaliation.

"Heard that before," he chuckled, "killed the last woman who told me that, too. I believe you know of her, Kikyou? You are the bitch of her former husband now."

"You are a foul, despicable, disgusting monster," she hissed.

"I take all those as complements," he assured with a light laugh before her started outward. "It sounds like your boy has arrived. You needn't worry, I'll be back soon."

"Inuyasha is stronger than you!" Kagome asserted but that only earned her a small wave of his hand. She had no intention whatsoever of staying, so she started to rush towards the exit only to have a burst of fire stop her. Luckily, she was far enough away from it that she just felt a blast of warm air.

"You ain't getting out of there, girly," she heard. Daringly she leaned forward to see a fat red youkai there.

"I presume Naraku told you to keep me in here."

He just nodded as he started to pick his teeth, it was a disgusting enough sight that she turned away to start pacing around. It would be okay… Inuyasha was strong; he would win against Naraku, then come and get her. That much she was sure of… at least, she wanted to be.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Damn it, damn it, _damn it_, how could he have left her all alone? He should have known not to let her out of his sight! As soon as the walking dead was dealt with everything fell silent. It was too strange, he couldn't grasp why that had just occurred, there were no casualties just injuries and there was nothing stolen. He told everything to go towards the center of the town regardless while he went to find Kagome only to realize… she was gone.

That was when he realized it was a distraction.

There was a faint scent that trailed towards the well so at first he thought she had decided to check it again—it was _stupid_ of her, she should have known better, but he was hoping that was the case. When he realized her aroma went further than the well he knew something was very wrong…

Miroku had found him there, curious as to what had transpired, he even mentioned sensing a youkai on the outskirt of town when all hell broke out. He followed it only to see a female fly away on a feather, a bizarre sight he had to admit. The moment he found out that there was something wrong with Kagome he offered his aid. Not knowing what was going on made it easy for Inuyasha to accept his friend's assistance. Kagome's well-being was higher priority than his pride.

Together they arrived just outside the cave that held the strongest scent of Kagome. Before either could go in someone walked out nonchalantly. Instantly, Inuyasha recognized him but Miroku just bent a brow.

"Who is this?" Naraku inquired with a nod towards the monk.

Inuyasha countered, "Where's Kagome?"

"Inside," he nodded behind him, "completely fine for the time being. You on the other hand will not be."

"Keh, we'll see about that," he growled back as he grabbed his sword.

Though Miroku had no idea what was going on he still was as ready as his friend to fight the youkai. He unleashed a sacred sutras to throw at Naraku in order to distract him so that Inuyasha could pounce. It was a mild annoyance but nothing more since Naraku grabbed it and threw it back at the monk before he dodged Inuyasha's attempt.

The scream of pain from his friend caught his attention instantly but he could only chance a glance at Miroku as he collapsed upon the ground, grasping his right hand in agony. He leaped back when a tentacle trashed towards him, he retaliated by chopping it off even thought that didn't seem to do him any good since another came flying towards him.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Within the cave she could hear someone cry out, it echoed all the way towards her, but it was distorted… she didn't know _who_ was in pain. What if it was Inuyasha? What if Naraku was winning?

The very notion made it hard to breath, no, she couldn't lose him… not Inuyasha. Never Inuyasha. After all she had been forced to give up she couldn't lose the man she had come to love as well. Especially not before she had to chance to tell him that she was indeed very much in love with him.

It was irrational, impulsive, and perhaps even stupid, but she wrapped the robe around her all the way and went rushing outward. The fat youkai wouldn't be able to catch her, it's small pudgy legs couldn't move as quickly as her long, lean ones, but the fire it breathed could. Remarkably, she was able to run through it without a problem. Surely she was supposed to get scorned a bit, maybe even some serious burns, but nothing of the sort happened to her.

She didn't take the time to stop a marvel before she found her way out of the cave to see Inuyasha in one piece jumping every which way trying to destroy the grotesque Naraku. When her hazels landed on Miroku she could tell he was the one who had screamed and that there was something very wrong with his hand. No blood was dripping from it but… the air around it and him was strange, small rocks began to be pulled towards him along with the grass on the field he knelt it, clutching his right hand for dear life.

"Miroku-sama," she called out as she ran up to him, dropping to her knees in the process to grab his shoulder, "let me see your injury."

"I think not, Kagome-sama," he countered between clenched teeth.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" she questioned as her eyes dropped from his contorted expression to his hand. Suddenly, objects began to fling towards them but were sucked into his hand. It was a truly bizarre sight that caused both their eyes to grow wide, even their started to feel the wind pull them towards it.

"Get away, Kagome-sama," ordered Miroku sternly as he tried to stretch his hand as far out as possible.

"No," Kagome insisted with a shake of her head as she gripped his purple robes tighter, "I'm not leaving you, Miroku-sama."

_How could I have ever looked Sango-chan in the eye again if I did? Whatever horror was occurring to Miroku-sama only happened because of me… all their misfortunate could be linked back to me. For that, I'm eternally sorry._

Her attention shifted up to see Inuyasha as he made another failed attempt to slice Naraku to pieces only to spark a the monster to mock him.

"Your determination is rather remarkable," Naraku declared with a lopsided smirk. "You failed to protect your wife so I expected you to be equally useless in protecting a girl that you are merely fucking."

"Shut the _fuck_ up," Inuyasha demanded with a growl, "you have _no_ idea what you are talking about!"

"I dare say it's the other way around," he insisted, "I killed Kikyou. Didn't your new fuck tell you?"

That stopped Inuyasha for a moment, giving Naraku time to thrash a tentacle at him, slicing his shoulder since he regained his sense in enough time to leap to the side.

"Kikyou died of…" Inuyasha started only to pause long enough for Naraku to take over.

"Something to do with that pregnancy of hers? That was the excuse, wasn't it?" Naraku inquired, "you really believe that? I'm the one who killed her. Ask that old hag; ask your new whore, they both know the truth. Did they just neglect to tell you?"

All of that was outside of Kagome's hearing range and though she constantly looked up to make sure Inuyasha was alright her priority was trying to help Miroku, everything else was out of her hands. She felt her red ascot start to be pried forward; she only grasped Miroku tighter, ignoring all his pleas for her to go away. By chance, some of the pray beads he wore around his neck go sucked off and flung towards the new endless pit in his hand. The instant they met the black hole seemed to stop, the wind around his hand calmed.

Though Miroku wasn't sure what was happening he clasped his hand around the pray beads in order to keep them in place.

"What's going on…?" Miroku murmured as his violets slowly turned up towards Kagome. She merely shook her head before letting her hazels shift up to see Inuyasha try to slash at Naraku again, only this time it worked. He ripped the monster in half but instead of blood and guts everything was reduced to a piece of paper torn in half.

That seemed to baffle her hanyou for a moment before he sheathed his sword and turned his attention around to make sure that there was nothing else in their way. He could smell another youkai in the cave but it didn't seem like it meant to come out, if it knew what was good for it then it'd stay in there. He had something more important to deal with than it. As soon as his golden gaze landed on her and Miroku he seemed to freeze up for a moment before he walked up to them.

"You okay, Miroku?" he asked, squatting down some in order to check on his injury.

"I think so," the monk mumbled.

"Would it be a'right if we leave you alone for a bit?"

"Yes," he nodded as his stare shifted to Kagome. "I will be fine, Kagome-sama."

"Come on," Inuyasha asserted as he grasped her arm rather harshly to yank her to her feet and tug her away. "You okay?" was the first thing out of his mouth once he felt they were far enough from Miroku. When he saw her nod that seemed to be enough, because he cut off whatever she was about to say, "Tell me you didn't know Naraku… that he… he said he killed Kikyou. Kagome, tell me you didn't know that."

That stopped her instantly, her relief shifted into something akin to regret. That was enough of an answer, her words only confirmed his suspicion, "I'm so sorry… he mentioned it the first time I ran into him but… but I didn't know if it was true. I thought it would upset you."

"You're right," he asserted with a grunt as he ripped his hand away from her. "It does, but I'm going to take you back to the village along with Miroku and then… then we're' done, Kagome. Whatever we had is finished."

What scared her the most in that statement was though it was clear he was angry, frustration wasn't what dominated his tone, it was sturdy, determined even as if… he was fully sure of the things he had to say. That it wasn't just something he said in one of his hot-headed rants but… something he believed in, he had thought about.

Something that hurt more than all of that? He labeled their relationship as _whatever_. Slowly she shook her head, "that's not fair. I love you, Inuyasha, I do—!"

"Kikyou is my wife!" He snapped, "she has to come first! I have to avenge her so I don't have time for you anymore."

_I fell silent at that, what more could I say when he said such things with complete conviction? When Inuyasha got an idea in his head it was nearly impossible to change. His words… broke my will anyway. I told him I loved him and he didn't even flinch. His words were still as heated as ever. _

_That's why I let him take us back quietly, without a word, trying to focus on helping Miroku-sama as much as I could. Once we got back to the village I went with him to see Sango-chan, I knew that they'd need help with their children that night at least. Being around them made it easier to ignore the instinct I had to go back to my room at Kaede-sama's and cry like a little baby._

_Being around their sorrow made it easier to ignore my own.  
_

_

* * *

**A/N: **I'm sure that some are displeased with this chapter. I hope you'll continue to give this story a chance though and waited to see what happens next. I have the story completely mapped out from here until the end. There will be a total of 50 chapters (maybe 51). Please review, even short ones are very appreciated to._


	24. Paralyzing Pain

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_4: Paralyzing Pain**.**_ °•.  
{…}

_Kikyou was his wife, I understand that. I'm sure that meant more than us, two people that had yet to truly define their relationship._

_All the same, I can't imagine what he must have felt when he realized the woman that he had called his other half for so long was murdered without him ever knowing. I had been told time and time again that he had barely gotten over losing her and their son… that's why I was justified in not telling him what Naraku had told me. At least, that's what I told myself._

_In reality, I had wronged him… just as he did me._

"The white girl?" Kaede mulled over as she poured herself a new glass of warm tea. "You say she wasn't human?"

"No way," her apprentice shook her head fervently, letting her ebony waves bounce about. "But she didn't feel of a youkai either… I don't know what she was. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was a ghost or something."

Silence swelled about, nothing but the crackle of the dying fire serenaded the duo until the elder one finally spoke up again, "only a malice filled youkai cannot enter the barrier. If the young girl did not give off the presence of a youkai yet still planned on doing you harm she would have easily been able to walk through it. Just as any youkai that held no mal intention towards someone within the town could. As you know, there are youkai that live here that do need to come to and fro—for example, the wolf pack."

"I guess that's true," she supposed with a small nod while she set her empty cup down. Her hazels lingered upon the still burning wood until she looked up to the woman with far more knowledge than she, that was why she had to inquire—even though, _he_ was not a subject she truly wanted to address—about something that had been nagging at her for quite some time.

"Inuyasha's robe… it saved me when I ran through fire the other day," she began, "it's special."

"Yes, it's weaved from fire rat hair, hence your ability to do so. I believe it was a gift from his father… on that note, I am glad you were not harmed."

"But Miroku was," she whispered with a sigh, "that curse on his hand is not good."

"I know someone with a certain area of expertise in such matters," Kaede confessed, "he should be here shortly to evaluate Miroku's injury."

Cautiously, she connected the conversation to what she had been trying to for days. "Kikyou-sama… did you know that her death was unrelated to her pregnancy?"

_I had known for a while that there was something wrong, that Kaede was hiding something. That was why she had suddenly been spending so much more time with Watanabe. He still tried his most whenever he came by to be cordial with me, to win my respect like Inuyasha had for him but… he knew, just like I did, that I would never trust him. Whether that be because it was just a feeling I had about him or all that his counterpart had done to me I wasn't sure…_

The elder priestess swallowed heavily before a somber look fell upon her face. She admitted, "I was aware of that fact. I… had a feeling that Kikyou's death was more than that."

"Why did you never tell Inuyasha?" she inquired harshly with furrowed brows.

"Same reason ye didn't when Naraku told ye… to protect him. Until I knew all the facts I did not want to unleash him onto the world in search of answers that may not have been out there when he was already so upset. It was clear to me that he could make a mistake, a terrible one, when he was so… shattered. He had lost his son then his wife, all in the course of one week." Kaede sighed at the very thought, "I am sorry for hiding it."

"I understand," she murmured while she glanced out the window at the sun raised high in the sky. It had been four days since she had last seen him… though, she thought she had sensed him once while she went to check the well but when she got there he wasn't in sight. After all he said she didn't want to be the one to go to _him_. He had broken her heart… hurt her deeply. It was him that should have come to see her, try to save their relationship, beg for her forgiveness.

And though she fantasized about that day and night, it never happened. She was starting to feel like it never would… but she couldn't foresee a life without him all the same.

"I'm going to see Higurashi-sama for lunch, would you like to join us?" she asked as she looked back to her mentor.

"No, thank ye child, I have plans to meet with Watanabe-sama."

"You've been spending a lot of time together lately," she muttered.

_But, like so many times before, she'd remain mute on that subject as I got up to walk away... I really had no idea what they were up to.  
_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

As always, the meals that her other-mother cooked for her were wonderful, but thanking her wasn't the topic she wished to vent about. Instead, she complained, "I'm so sick of us going back and forth… now it seems like it's really over."

"I can sympathize with that," Mrs. Higurashi assured with a small nod of her head. "What Inuyasha said was horrible. Most people wouldn't have put up with half the things he has done, so you sticking in there as long as you did is truly remarkable. But…" she paused, pressing her lips together as she looked away, before continue, "at the same time, keeping what you did about Kikyou's death from Inuyasha wasn't fair either."

She was silent on the subject as she watched the sadness seep upon the woman's face, she wasn't very good hiding her feelings even though it was obvious she was trying. Gradually, she stood up to walk over, kneel down beside her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"It is a terrible… terrible feeling learning that someone you loved so dearly died of an unnatural cause and you never knew of it… if I feel this horrible I can only imagine how it is tearing Inuyasha up. I was her mother, it was my job to keep her raise and keep her safe … but he was her husband, and protecting others—particularly those he loves—is of the utmost importance to him so allowing this to happen to his wife... letting this happen to my daughter," she whispered as she shut her eyes and took a deep breath in. Before she shakily started once more, "I don't blame him. But he's always been so quick to blame himself."

Kagome couldn't say anything to that, hence why she remained quiet as could be as she allowed the other to regain herself. She could only imagine how she'd feel if she ever learned something horrible happened to her son… she wouldn't know what she'd do if she found out it really happened.

Finally, Mrs. Higurashi spoke up again, "sweetheart, you have to do what you think is best for _you_. If you believe it's fighting for Inuyasha then you should. If you think that he's no good for you then you should let it go and try to move on with your life. You are still very young, you have a bright future. Anyone would be lucky to have you, if Inuyasha couldn't realize that then he's a blind fool."

"Thank you," she whispered as she hugged her before beginning to help her clean up. All the while, her mind kept thinking over what had been said. A large part of her wanted to keep her grudge and hope that _he'd_ to crawling back to her, begging for her forgiveness, taking back all his words but….

Inuyasha _was_ the father of her child and she did love him. So she'd go talk to him, one of them had to be the bigger man—or woman, rather. If things went poorly then she'd know what's best for her, she'd manage to let go and somehow move on… besides, she knew that she was in the wrong, at least a little, since she did purposefully withhold such important information from him.

Somehow, she wasn't surprised that the place that she finally found him at was not his home, or the well, or his favorite ramen restaurant, but the grave of his fallen family… Should she approach him? Or leave, letting him lament by himself and confronting him elsewhere. The latter was certainly more tasteful, she should meet him on natural grounds but she lingered long enough that it would have been foolish of her to think he didn't sense her presence.

She watched as his bangs cast a shadow over his eyes, he clenched his fist before saying, "all this time I've been mad at her. I felt betrayed. I thought she had just given up and left with all this shit and it turns out that she was killed… my own wife and I never knew. How pathetic is that?"

"Inuyasha," she murmured back before pressing her lips into a frown.

"Kagome," he muttered after a shaky breath. "If I couldn't protect her, if I didn't even know she was in trouble… how can I possibly protect you? I—I can't lose you but… but I don't trust myself to keep you safe… fuck, I'm scared I'll…"

The idea of suffering through the same situation again, making such a mistake, causing himself such pain was paralyzing. He couldn't do it again.

"You," she started before stomping up to him and pushing him, lightly, "is it out of fear for my safety that you said those horrible things to me? That you're trying to push me away?"

"I can't protect you if I couldn't even protect Kikyou!" Inuyasha snapped back with a narrowed golden gaze.

"So you think I'd be safer if I weren't with you?"

"Yeah, obviously!"

She shook her head, with tightly bent brows and lips pressed so tightly they were in a line. Finally, she pried them apart to say, "what you said _really_ hurt me, Inuyasha."

"Why are you here, then?" he asked cautiously, "shouldn't you be avoiding me? Not _talking_ to me?"

"That's what you want, isn't it? You're an idiot and an asshole. It's simply _not_ fair to go and make that decision all by yourself! If you have concerns then you should talk to me about it, not try and push me away, not say such hurtful things. We were _together_," she emphasized, "and that's what people do when they are together."

He was quiet for only a moment before he ran his hand across his face and looked away, "Kagome… I know you don't think it, but you are too good for me and Kikyou was, too, but… I made myself think that was okay, that she chose me so it had to be but look what happened. So what? You chose me, too, but that doesn't change the fact that you deserve better. I can't let history repeat itself. I already lost my son a second time… I can't go on and lose the woman I love again. I can't… please understand I can't go through that pain."

What finally forced her frustration to dissipate was not just his words but that… she was fairly certain she saw a tear slip down his cheek. Her shoulders sagged slightly as she sighed. Then she realized something more—he said he _loved_ her. He probably didn't mean what he said at all. She walked up to him and took his hands into both of hers.

"You think I deserve some human? A youkai? What?" she questioned, "who could I be with that understands all that I've gone through? Who would understand my situation better than you? You're a good man, Inuyasha. A bit of an idiot, but good nevertheless. I think you under estimate your worth and we haven't lost Hisashi, we'll get him back. We will."

She _had_ to believe that.

"Fuck," he muttered as he covered his eyes then fell to sit down. Slowly, she kneeled down beside him to place her hands on his shoulder and rested against his back. They just stayed like that for a while before he reached up and placed his hand over hers, squeezing them tightly.

"I love you, too," she whispered. "Protecting me isn't solely on you. I have to be able to protect myself, too. This time we know what's coming so it'll be different. Besides, if you really wanted to push me away you wouldn't have just confessed everything to me the moment I showed up."

"I didn't… didn't want to hurt you," he assured. "It's just I… I thought it would be the lesser of two evils. I knew what I said would force you away. I don't know why you should forgive me."

Again, she shook her head as she moved so she could kiss him on the cheek, "because, I know that your heart was in the right place even though it was really a stupid thing to do. I was aware you weren't the smartest when I started to court you," she joked, "do you still want to be with me...?"

"Yes," he quickly confessed, "you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long, long while. Why are… you so willing to put up with all my shit?"

"Everyone has their faults," she smiled as she brushed some of his bangs off of his face to see his golden gaze better. "I'm not perfect either."

"You're the closest thing I've ever found to it," he countered before leaning forward to kiss her briefly before they leaned their foreheads against each other. "I do love you, Kagome. I _need_ you… I'll protect you; I'll make sure nothing happens."

"I have complete faith in your abilities," she assured before pulling away some to bit her bottom lip to ask, "can I move in with you?"

His eyes widened, and lips parted to say something but apparently he couldn't think of anything.

"I don't have a place, it's Kaede-sama's, but if I did I'd be offering it up that way but… you're the one with the house."

"Is," he paused, "now really the time to discuss that?"

"The best way for me to stay safe," she mocked lightly as she placed her hand on his cheek, "is if we were together as much as possible."

"That's true," he supposed, "I was planning to just watch you all the time but your idea is probably easier."

"That sounds like a stalker," she taunted with a small laugh, "haven't we talked about you not doing that?"

"Keh," he scoffed, but the smile he showed her was well worth it.

_Maybe some would think that I was too light on him… or he me, but life isn't perfect. I was willing to forgive him that time, as he was for me, and with that it was easier to get back to the happy little life we had together._

_It's just… I'd be the one to screw that up again. He'd be the one too stubborn to leave me but he wouldn't forgive. Not that time. It's okay. I haven't forgiven myself for that yet either. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Awaking the next day with warm arms around his body made a smile slip up her lips before she turned to look at him. Not surprisingly, he was already conscious, his gaze fixated at the window.

She questioned, "What are you staring so intently at?"

"Nothing," he replied before turning his attention to her.

"Did you sleep?" When she finally fell asleep she was well aware of the fact that he was still wide awake.

"'Course I did," he countered.

She only half believed that, he was absolutely paranoid of the prospect of all that could happen.

"Do you want to go to the well today?"

"Of course, I'll make you breakfast first," she offered as she pushed herself up reluctantly to get out of bed and find something to wear. She had yet to move most of her things over to him, but she had at least a few changes of clothes.

"I'd rather go now," he insisted as he watched her change out of her sleep yukata to something new. All he had to do was grab his red robe before he was ready to leave. He took her hand the moment they were out the door, each pretending as if they weren't holding their breaths, each trying the utmost not to get their hopes up too high, each telling themselves that it probably wasn't going to work… but someday it won't.

When they finally got the well, he took her by the waist and jumped down it together, she shut her eyes tightly all the while—for a moment ,she relished in the feeling of her hair being blown by the wind. But then… it all ended with the sound of their feet thudding upon the ground.

She let go her breath, just as he clenched her tighter to him, burring his nose in her hair… until he, too, let out his breath before grabbing her and jumping back up.

Nothing was different, the forest was still the same, the sun barely risen, and sky bright blue. Without a word, he let her go to sit down with his back to his well. The defeated look he held made her heart sink as she sat beside him, staring ahead all the while.

"It was easier before, at least we had a date we thought we could get across. Now we don't know…" she whispered before leaning her head against his shoulder.

"It's been two months but maybe if we start checking more often—maybe three times?"

"Sure," she sighed, "five, ten, twenty, or more..."

But, somehow, she was fairly certain that heightening the number of times they hopelessly went to the well wouldn't make much of a difference.

"I want him back, Kagome," he muttered.

"Me, too," she sighed.

"I just… don't know what to do," he confessed as he leaned his head against hers. "I want to leave—search the whole fucking world for another way—but then… I'm scared that we'll miss our chance to get to him here while we're gone. I mean, I could always go and you stay but—"

"I don't like the idea of you being away," she asserted.

_Honestly, I wasn't sure if that was right or not. Maybe he could find another way while he journeyed to a foreign land but… maybe he'd get himself hurt or worse killed. I didn't want to lose him even if it meant a chance at getting to our son… he was the only thing I actually had._

"And I can't bring myself to leave you," he replied with a heavy sigh, moving his hands from his legs to hers in order to clench them tight.

The well was just outside the barrier in the village and that was all that kept her safe from the prowling Naraku. Kaede hadn't the power to expand the barrier and if it did encompass the well then it would disable any chance of it aligning with the other world. There really was no upside to the problem they were faced with.

More importantly, if he wasn't around Kagome while they checked it he was certain that dirty bastard would use it as an opportunity to attack her. Even if it was wrong, he wasn't willing to risk losing the only thing he could really _hold_ onto to try and find a possible way to get to their child.

There was no denying how that made him feels like the world's worst father but… he couldn't lose her. He would never forgive himself if he let the woman he loved be killed by Naraku's hands once more. Their son, Hisashi, needed her more than he did his faulty father. She could be a perfect mother, if need be she could raise him alone and he was certain their son would grow up to be the ideal man, while he… would only screw up the kid.

His son would be just fine without someone so incompetent in his life.

_

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter. Sorry it took so long for me to update again. I hope you enjoyed it.  
_


	25. Consequences of an Imperfect Life

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_5__: Consequences of an Imperfect Life**.**_ °•.  
{…}

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Time keeps passing by," she whispered, letting a sigh escape her lips as she looked over to her lover while he got dressed for the day. She, on the other hand, lazily lied under the sheets with barely anything on. He was an early morning person and remarkably a late night one as well, the little amount of time he actually needed to slumber was astounding to her. And since the development of Naraku's interest in her death, he wasted less time with his eyes shut than before.

"And we don't know when the well will open," she added as she folded her arms under her head and closed her eyes. "What do we do, Inuyasha? I can't wait any longer. I just can't…"

"I feel the same way," he muttered before his eyes scanned over her, "but the way I see it, we really only have two options. One, you stay to see if the well opens up while I go to search for another source or… two we stay—_together_—and just wait for it to open by itself. I know what you are going to say," he quickly stated when he saw her open her hazels, "but I'm the one that will leave. Your training with Kaede has made you a lot better than when you first got here, but let's face it, I'm still a better fighter and I know this land. You've never even been away from this village."

"That's true," she sighed.

"I'd write to you while I'm away," he offered to try and keep the frown that formed from getting any deeper.

"The letters would take forever to get to me _if_ they even reached me… I'd worry too much about you. I couldn't live without you," she whispered with shut eyes once more.

That stopped him—it was strange, but he didn't even need to really think about it. He felt the same. He'd worry constantly about her well being and never actually know if the well had opened up. She wouldn't know where to send any letters if he'd be on the move all the time.

"I feel the same way," he admitted, "I could never leave you unprotected, Kagome."

"Then," she paused after she finally sat up, "we just… wait and pray the well opens up again. Inuyasha, this seems so impossible—I don't know how much more my heart can take."

"It's only been a little more than two months over the date Watanabe gave us," he reminded her with a subtle shrug, "maybe just one more?"

"How long will we be using that as an excuse?" she muttered while her gaze shifted to the window, "he's over a year old, Inuyasha. And I've still never held him… if I _ever_ have another child then that's the very, very, _very_ first thing I'll ever do."

Just like before, her words forced him to freeze. _If _she ever had another child…? Well, if he had his way he'd never let another man around her body so by default that meant it would have to be his. Did he want another go at it? No, he'd just fuck that up too.

Though, she'd make a good mother if she was ever got the right chance. That much he was certain of.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Together the couple went to visit their injured friend, since Kaede's colleague who held an expertise in such strange affairs had finally arrived. As soon as Kagome knocked on the door the twins opened it up to greet them only to be scolded by their mother from afar.

"You know not to answer the door," she stated as she walked out of the kitchen, instantly her rigid stance softened. "I'm sorry; I didn't know it was you two."

"It's okay, we understand," Kagome assured with a smile, "we came to see how Miroku-sama is doing."

"Mushin-sama has been examining his… wound," she said with for a lack of a better term, "we should know shortly."

"How is everyone?" Inuyasha asked while his sunlit stare shifted around the hyperactive twins and then down to the infant that was playing with a toy. "You know if you need any help with the kids we're always here."

"As long as those pray beads are around his hands he's fine but thank you for the offer," answered Sango, a weak attempt at an ever so smile arose.

"Kagome-sama, Inuyasha, darling," Miroku called out as he walked into the room; quickly he placed his good hand on his wife's waist. Though he wore his usually beaming smile, ever so confident as always, she didn't bother to smile in return, instead whatever sad excuse for one she wore faded all together.

The bald rather plump man beside him had to explain, "I have seen a curse like this before. The only way to break it is by either getting the one to cast it to remove it or kill him."

"Or?" Sango murmured, letting her eyes shift up to her husband, "or what… happens to my husband if neither of those things happen? Does the curse just remain?"

"With time," the elder man cautiously muttered, "it will grow and end his life."

She shut her eyes, looking away at the same time. Miroku quickly assured her, "I will be fine."

"Naraku will be dead soon," Inuyasha asserted, "after all the shit that bastard's done I'll see to it myself."

"Inuyasha," Kagome harshly hushed as she nodded towards the children that were just in the other room. "Language."

"Sorry," he grimaced before turning his gaze back to his friend, "but I'm serious. I'll make sure he's long dead before this because a problem for you, Miroku. Or at least a bigger problem."

"I believe you, thank you," his friend replied, even with all his confidence in Inuyasha's fighting abilities he couldn't shake the concern he felt. For his family, though, he'd never show it.

Gradually, Kagome backed away from the boys to go over to Sango who had gone to tuck her children her into bed. Silently, she waited by the door watching—enviously, though she tried to shallow that feeling away—as Sango tenderly soothed her children into slumber. It wasn't until Sango finished kissing each of her children upon the head before she got up and walked back over to her friend.

"I'm fine," she whispered as she shut the door. Kagome was poor at trying to cover her feelings, not the least of which was her obvious worry.

"We're going to figure this out, we'll get a cure for Miroku," she promised as she grasped her friend's hand and squeezed them, forcing a smile on both their lips. "I will _not_ let your children lose their father."

"Thank you, Kagome-chan, but what's wrong is…" she whispered before pressing her lips together. It took a moment, but they loosened so she could confess, "the village that my younger brother, Kohaku, was staying at was destroyed… I'm so worried about him. I have yet to hear from him… the whole world's falling apart. I begged him to come stay with us because of the barrier that protects our village but he didn't want to stop slaying and felt too crowded with all the children and now… now I might have lost him."

"Oh, Sango-chan," Kagome murmured as she opened her arms to hug her friend. It was hard not to see how alike that was with other-Sango's story… if this world was having so much issues, what of hers?

What of _her_ family? What of her… child?

For a bit longer she lingered to comfort Sango until she caught a glimpse of Kaede out the window and couldn't help but follow. She respected Kaede a great deal but… she had been acting so strange as of late, secretive, and simply peculiar. The fact that her end destination was Watanabe's she simply had to take a glimpse into the window to see what was up.

Together, they stood in the room, each glancing from chart to chart, scroll to scroll, all of which looked like maps but before she got a chance to take a closer look she felt someone pull her backwards.

"Kagome, what are you doing?" Inuyasha asked, "you could have mentioned you were leaving."

"What's Watanabe and Kaede-sama doing?" Kagome questioned in reply as she tried to pull away to get another look.

"I don't know, but leave them be, let's go home," he countered while tugging her in the right direction. "I'm heading out tomorrow with Miroku, we've got a job."

"Inuyasha, the very last thing you or him need to do is go on a job," she scolded, reluctantly following him down the street. "Miroku's not well."

"And yet he still has to take care of his kids, and he won't let me give him any of the supplies and money unless he comes with," he replied.

"Fine," she snapped as she caught up to his side, grabbing his hand and forcing him to look at her. "I'm coming, too. I can help, I've been training for a long while with Kaede-sama, and it would make Sango feel better if I was there to help. And!" She added before he got a chance to protest, "I've never been outside of the village before."

"You're not coming," he countered stiffly, "it's safer for you to stay here."

"I'm coming," she argued instantly, "or else we're never having sex again."

"Kagome," he gripped instantly, shooting her a harsh glare, "that's not going to work."

"Fine, enjoy never having sex," she replied as she yanked her hand away and opened the door, only to shut it in his face.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Being a stubborn fool was what Inuyasha was infamous for, what Kagome constantly complained about, yet when she felt it was needed she could be ten times worse. At least, that's what he said. Regardless… she had won the endless argument and, much to his discomfort, was allowed to tag along on their journey to a village in the east that was having a small demon. They wouldn't be hard to get rid of so he figured… what was the worst thing that could happen?

That didn't change the fact that he was on edge the entire journey, just waiting for the asshole Naraku to pop out of nowhere and try and ruin everything once more. Moreover, and really the reason he hadn't wanted her to come, was a little side journey her had planned to go on while there that only became so much harder when he had to watch Kagome. Yet… he couldn't lie, he loved having her there.

"This place doesn't look much different than our village," Kagome commented on right upon arrival.

"We didn't go too far east," Miroku answered, "if we went farther, closer to the ocean, it would be different. Perhaps later Inuyasha will take you?" He couldn't help but grin at the cold glare he received from his longtime friend for that comment.

"I've never seen the ocean," she chimed, eagerly turning her attention to her golden eyed lover. "Will you really?"

"When it's safe, sure," he nodded, "just let's keep that in mind, things aren't _safe_ right now."

"What are we talking about…? Naraku or the disappearing villages?"

"Did Sango tell you of Kohaku?" inquired Miroku only to watch Kagome lightly nod. "I pray that he turns up alright."

"Houshi-sama!" A local called out, waving his arms above his head as he walked up to them, "I am so glad you are here!"

"Before we get started," Inuyasha interrupted, "is there somewhere safe she can go to?"

"Inuyasha," Kagome grumbled, "I'm coming with you."

"I said you could come _here_ with us," he corrected, "I didn't say you could come kill the demons with us. They are small things, it won't take us long at all."

"She may stay with my wife and I, our home is in the center of the village and the demons tend to only attack the outskirt," the villager offered.

"Inuyasha—!"

"Please," he stopped her, instantly earning an awe-struck look for just using that word. "Kagome, just do this for me. We'll be fine. I'll see you soon."

"O… Okay," she murmured with a nod, "just promise you'll be safe."

"I'll be safe," he assured. Without a thought, he started towards the forest only to be stopped by a tug of his hand. The moment he turned his head to ask what now, he felt a pair of lips against his. As if it were no big deal at all, in the midst of the village, she dared to kiss him?

Of course, he didn't mind whatsoever but once he quickly turned his attention around he saw looks of disapproval. He was what he was, and being a hanyou was far from popular. Being _with_ a hanyou was frowned upon, too, especially when it was such a cute, youthful, perfect _human_ girl. What awed him was how the looks didn't seem to bother her in the least bit. She simply showed her sweet smile before she left with the village leader.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Just as he predicted, it took them a short while to finish the task which meant he had a window to complete what he had really wanted to.

"Where are you going?" Miroku had inquired for the third time in a row.

"Let it go, Miroku," he replied, "just don't return to where Kagome is until I get there. She'll worry too much if you show up and I'm not there."

"Okay," he sighed, "well, good luck with whatever it is you are up to."

All he did was nod in return as he began on his way. What he hated to do was associate himself with anyone who once knew his father, perhaps if he stopped to think about it he'd realize it wasn't his father's fault that he died protecting his mother and him and thus was never around but… he never really did. All he knew was that he resented the fact that he had to grow up the way he did, and if his father was alive things would have been different—for one, his mother would have cried less.

Then again, it could have been much worse, too. He'd never really know.

Just like… he got the feeling he'd never know if _his_ son would feel the same way about him. Was he better off without him in his life? Was he worse? Would he miss him? Would he hate him..?

All he knew for certain was that his son _wasn't_ better off without his mother, Kagome would make a splendid one. He, on the other hand, felt he'd make at best a decent dad, at worse a truly terrible one. No, he shook his head; he didn't need to think that way. Kagome did enough lamenting for the both of them; he had to stay strong for her.

"So you have come," an elder voice echoed, snapping him free of his thoughts as he looked up to the lake he had reached. On the shores was an enormous oyster youkai. "I had my doubts. You have never been interested in seeking council with any of us."

Us, Inuyasha knew, meaning his father's closest friends. He simply ignored that as he folded his arms across his chest, with a grunt he asked, "so… you got my letter?"

"I did," he replied cautiously, "and regrettably I have no answer for you. I know of no portal to the other world, all I am aware of is that if things do not stop soon… then we are all doomed. I have heard of four villages in the past month that have been destroyed, nothing is left of anything within it—including the people."

"That's not good," Inuyasha murmured, though that wasn't at all what he was there for and, truthfully, that did not affect him as much as it probably should have. Those who truly cared about all lived in the village with him, the safest place in all the world he thought. Thus, what truly mattered, was finding a way over to the other world… what if the castle, if that was where his son still was, was not as safe as their village?

What if something had happened to him…? What ifs were what tortured him at night, what breathed life into his worst nightmares, and what kept his dear Kagome equally as on edge.

"Now, your other request, I can aid," the oyster proclaimed to earn his attention as he reached into his clothes to pull out a delicate black thread with a perfect pearl upon it. "You did mention the woman you are with likes such gems, did you not?"

"Yeah," he had figured that, if nothing else, at least he could get a gift for Kagome from the trip.

"Perhaps someday it will help you in crossing over," he offered.

That caught his attention right away after her took the gem, quickly his golden globes glanced between the two before he finally asked, "what are you talking about?"

"You know I can create great gems," the oyster started with a nod towards Inuyasha himself. "I am the one who created the black pearl in your eye, after all."

"Great, whatever, now what about this helping me cross over? Do you mean that this will help me get through the well, Hosenki?"

"I hope it does," he answered, "but I cannot be certain. I am not sure what sort of energy is truly needed in order to make such a journey."

"Well, thanks all the same, I guess," Inuyasha replied with a nod as he tucked the necklace into his robe for safe keeping.

"Inuyasha," Hosenki protested in order to gain his attention before he had gone. Reluctantly, he turned back to see the elder. "Have you ever heard of Amarante?"

"No, should I?"

"She is a well revered mystic, I counseled her in regards to creating that gem, perhaps if you were to go to her for guidance she would be able to tell you of another portal or, at least, how long you must wait for the one that you know to reopen. She is very picky one what she tells someone, hence why she wouldn't say a word about that to me."

"Where she live?"

"Just east of the village," he answered with a nod in the proper direction.

"Thanks," he repeated before taking his leave.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"A mystic," mumbled Kagome while she walked just behind Miroku and Inuyasha. Then she spoke up, "wouldn't it be great if this solved all our problems? If she knew of another portal we could go to?"

"Kagome," Inuyasha stretched out as he glanced back to her, "don't get your hopes too high."

He would, after all, truly hate to see them crushed again.

"I won't," she sighed, though that was a bit of a lie.

_It was too late; they were higher than they had been in so long. It was something I couldn't help. I wanted, _so badly_, to be with him again that any glimpse at a way would make my heart soar so high. I couldn't imagine how I would take it if the mystic turned out to be useless but… at that time, I had Inuyasha to fall back on all the same._

"I have heard of Amarante-sama," Miroku proclaimed, "but I also hear she does not grant many her time. There is a good chance that upon our arrival she will merely turn us away without any answers, without even hearing a single question."

"That's rude of her," Kagome muttered to herself.

"One should never have too much information about their future," Miroku proclaimed, "at least, that's what I hear her excuse is."

"Don't forget, she could be a fraud, Kagome," Inuyasha had to point, being the absolute skeptic he was.

It did not take them too long to actually travel from their inn to the humble hut that the so-called powerful Amarante. Before any could even get close enough to the door to attempt a knock it opened, revealing a middle aged mystic with subtle wrinkles around her eyes and upon her forehead. Her skin had obviously basked in a great deal of sunlight, her waves of ebony had streaks of silver in it, and her dark eyes were far from friendly as they scanned over each of the visitors.

"I know why you are here," she stated before any had a chance to even introduce themselves, "come in."

She stepped aside before turning around to enter her home fully, cautiously each followed. They followed her lead and sat around the small fire she had started to begin to apparently brew some tea. It wasn't until she had the tea done, poured cup a for each, and took her first sip that she allowed any of them to talk.

"We need to find a portal to the other world—" Inuyasha began only to be interrupted instantly.

"Yes, I am aware of this, also the reason why," she assured, quickly glancing to Kagome before back to the bold hanyou. "And I can tell you that you may go in search of another portal, but to no avail. The one in which you wait at now will open at the same time as all the rest, they all must wait for the two worlds to align properly. Moreover, you will do more good there than wondering around."

"Will we ever get our son back?" asked Kagome as she clenched her hot cup of tea.

"You will get a child," the mystic asserted with a nod.

"That's not an actual answer," she replied wearily, "will we get _our_ son back?"

"That's best answer you will get," the mystic rejoined, quickly she turned her attention to the silent monk to say, "stay another night in the inn you are at and you will be happy you did by morning."

"Can you give straight answers?" Inuyasha barked back, "just a 'yes' or 'no'. Yes we'll get our kid, no we won't."

"All I will say is that your best hope lies in front of your heart," she answered, that earned a bizarre look from Kagome, one in which he merely shrugged off for the time being. "Now, in return for the information I have given I have a favor to ask of you boys. I need you to get in search, within the forest, for an herb called ashitaba."

"You haven't given us much information," Inuyasha protested with a subtle snarl.

"I only have one left," she continued as she picked up said herb, lifting it so Inuyasha could take it. "I imagine with a nose as good as yours, it will take you two a very short time to find it."

"The ashitaba herb is fairly rare," Kagome input, "is it known to grow in this forest?"

"Aye," the mystic responded with a nod, "now go, before it gets dark."

"You are demanding," Inuyasha grunted but he followed his friend's lead. Miroku got up, bowed—which Inuyasha purposefully neglected to do—then exited.

An awkward, at least for Kagome, silence followed the boys' departure. Constantly, her hazels shifted between the steam of her tea to the dull looking mystic. She couldn't help but notice that although she had wrinkles there was no that signified she smiled often or really let her lips turn either upwards or downwards. She supposed if she, too, knew most the answers to life she'd look so bored but…

"My son, is he alright? Can you at least tell me that much?" she meekly inquired. "I just need to know he is alright."

"He is perfectly fine and will remain that way for quite a while," she answered as she stood up to walk around her hut and find a shallow dish, which she brought over to set next to Kagome before taking the pot of tea off of the fire once more to pour the extremely hot liquid into the dish, instantly steam began to flow greatly out of it. "Put your face in the steam and you will see him."

"Honestly?" Kagome questioned, quickly letting her hopeful hazels shot up to the mystic who simply nodded in reply. So, Kagome took a deep breath in before doing just that. It stung some to keep her eyes open but after a short while the steam began to mutate and show something so familiar… the concrete court yard for the castle she had stayed in while pregnant with her child.

It was what stood there that took her breath away; a little boy with silver strands and golden eyes that wobbly took a step forward then another. Eagerly, he looked up to a woman that was clapping for him, her smile so warm and welcoming as she reached her arms out to him, praising him all the while as he wobbled over to her. He laughed once he reached her… obviously, he was a happy boy.

Then the steam faded away, with tears in her eyes she managed to ask, "what of his future? What will happen to him?"

What she didn't dare ask was _who_ was that woman who was tending to her child like she should?

"All I can say, is I am certain he will have a good future, I hope that when the time comes for you to make such a difficult decision that will help you make the right one."

"What are you talking about?" Kagome questioned, but she would get no answer.

All that she would receive was the awkward silence that would eventually be broken by the return of the men, with a fist full of herbs. Then a quick request for them to leave.

_At that time, I honestly had no idea what she was talking about… Most likely, I should have told Inuyasha what I had seen then but I had a distinct feeling that she wouldn't show him. That that was why she had them leave to go search for those herbs, so that we could be alone. It wasn't fair that I got to see him and he never did…_

* * *

**A/N**: _So I don't feel this is my best work by any mean. It's not really a great one but I felt you guys deserved an update. I hope you liked anyways and **please review. **I didn't check for mistakes as closely in this chapter as I did for others, I'll come back to it when I'm less tired probably, if you notice any don't hesitate to tell me. Thanks.**  
**_


	26. Perfect Pearl

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_6__: Perfect Pearl Proposal__**.**_ °•.  
{…}

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_The mystic had shown me such a wonder; my son being tended to, looking happy, and it did appear as if he had a mother figure. Someone who was watching over him… the notion that someone was taking _my _place drove me mad. The one thing I never really took into consideration was that the mystic had shown me lies, that my child was not even remotely alright, but why was that? I couldn't stand to think he was anything less than perfect._

_But, I suppose, I never really had to worry about that._

Not a word of what she had seen was spoken, she couldn't find the words, and somehow knew that the mystic would not show Inuyasha what she had shown her. It was cruel, and at the time she could not understand why that was, but there was another factor that kept her quite. She would burst out in tears to think about it, her heart would break from the sight of the surely sorrowful look that he'd give her, and he seemed eager to go to sleep upon the return to their inn room.

Within moments he was slumbering, most likely the demon slaying had taken quite a bit out of him. The slight of him at peace, with his eyes shut, and ears tweaking every once and a while brought her joy. Enough that she could find the strength to go to sleep, her mind would not let her rest—it showed her image after image of the life her son was to lead _without _her.

"Why are you awake already?" Inuyasha groaned when he opened his eyes, shortly after dawn the following day. It was clear, even with her back to him, that wasn't sleeping—her heart rate, her breathing, her constant fiddling with the sheets. The latter of which drove him a little mad when they were at home together, but he figured he could live with that. And the fact that she hogged them all for herself.

"I suppose it's hard to sleep, when it's not our bed," she replied simply, she had always found that the simple lies were the easiest to keep.

_Our bed_, he smiled, liking the ring of that very much. But as he took a deep breath in then, noticing the scent of dried tears in the air. His brows bent together as he rose up to look over at Kagome, who was staring aimlessly at the sheets. He could guess why she had been crying—unbeknownst to him, he would be wrong.

When she felt him put his hand on her shoulder she finally looked up to him. She forced a smile for him as she sat up and placed a hand on his cheek before kissing his lips lightly. "So, when do we leave?"

"Shortly," he answered, "gather you things and I will go check on Miroku. I'm sure he'll have received our payment—and then some—so that we could go home. He probably wants to see his kids and Sango as soon as possible."

"Can't blame him for that," she said.

_Neither of us could, if we had a proper family like he did I for one would not have left home and Inuyasha would have been home already. He probably wouldn't have slept at the village. Poor Miroku, I could only imagine how he might have dragged the tired human home. And that's the truth._

_I could only imagine..._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It came out of nowhere, none of them suspect a thing, none felt the dark aura coming their way—then, in a blast, they were in battle. A demon unlike any they had faced showed herself to them. A female, floating upon a feather, with eyes as red as any burning fire… with her first attack that seemed to be casted from the wind Miroku and Kagome were flung away from Inuyasha but by her second he had drawn his sword.

"Who are you?" he growled, "what do you want?"

"I merely a messenger, you could say," she answered, a look of boredom fused with disgust in her eyes. "I'm here to convey Naraku's wishes. To kill you and take her," she snapped her fan together and pointed towards Kagome.

"Ha, I'd like to see you try," he retorted before charging towards her.

It was a hasten attack of shots back and forth, slashes of his sword, and swipes of her fan. For the most part, both mortals stayed out of it because the fighting was too quick for them to follow. Again, none of them saw what was to happen next.

A second appeared, one grossly large and putrid skin tainted purple. It was Inuyasha who noticed him first, but he had already swung his sword at the feather youkai—who, oddly enough, did not appear to have an interest in moving in time to miss the attack. It became clear in seconds why that was; she had wanted him to do that so that her giant alley could use his viciously sharp claws to smash down on his sword.

In less than a second, it shattered to pieces.

In another, Inuyasha could hear his name being called out as something sharp cut him along his chest. So forcefully that he spun away and skidded across the ground.

"I'll take care of the rest," the female stated as she walked forward, raising her fan to finish him. An arrow from Kagome knocked her weapon right out of her hand. That quickly gained the attention of the giant who chose to rush at both her and Miroku for that attack.

Though, it never got the chance to attack.

Somehow, beyond logic as far as either of the mortal onlookers could tell, Inuyasha had rose to his feet and rushed the giant—using his own, suddenly thicker and longer claws, to cut through the creature's left arm. Then it's right, and before it even got the chance to truly register what was going on… it's head was flying in the air to land with a disgusting thud on the ground.

So much blood pooled around the ground… the female seemed to take that as her queue to leave. She threw her small feather in the air so it could grow large and allow her to ride it to freedom—far away from the deranged hanyou.

"Inuyasha?" questioned Miroku with a bent brow, he thoughtlessly stepped between him and Kagome. There was something very wrong with his friend, his eyes were blood red, there were odd markings on his face, and there was something that walked was wrong. As if he was stalking his prey…

Moreover, the growl that he gave instead of an actual response was unnerving.

"What's… wrong with him?" Kagome whispered as she looked from her hanyou to her friend, who only shrugged a shoulder at first.

Then he seemed to find his voice, "I've never seen him like this… it's like he doesn't recognize us. Stay back, Kagome-sama."

When Miroku merely made a motion as if he was going to step closer to Inuyasha he cracked his knuckles and appeared to be getting ready to slash at him with his far fiercer claws. That froze the monk, not knowing exactly what to do. He hardly wanted to hurt his comrade but he did not seem to know what was going on.

"Inuyasha," Kagome coaxed out, cautiously as she stepped around Miroku, waving him down when he tried to get her to stop. "Inuyasha, it's me. Kagome."

All she got in reply was another growl, this one deeper.

"I love you," she reminded him but that didn't seem to affect him at the least. "I know you love me, too." Then he lunged at her, she gasped and jumped back in time to only get a scratch from his claws, causing some blood to start to trickle down her arm. She wasn't having any of that, so she finally said, "Inuyasha, sit, sit, sit!"

He smacked to the ground, three times, causing a small dent in the dirt. Her breath was held as she waited to see if something would happen. After a moment, he stirred. Finally, she let herself breath again as he pulled himself off the ground. He was wincing as he pushed himself off the ground, grabbing at his scratched chest.

"Inuyasha!" She shouted with relief as she fell to her knees and placed her hands upon his shoulders. "Thank goodness you are alright."

"What…?" he murmured until his nose took in the scent of her blood, his golden gaze shifted over her wound then down to his nails. He jumped up and grabbed his ribs once more, "I'm fine."

His sudden distant act, on top of him walking away to behind the trees, she wasn't about to just let him walk away without explaining a thing. She told Miroku they'd be back soon and followed him quickly. "Hey, what just happened? Are you alright?"

"I'm not sure, that's never happened before," he snapped as he held up a hand to keep him away. "Stay away, I obviously hurt you when I was… like that. Look… Kagome, I think it'd be best if we—"

She knew exactly where he was heading with that. He often held that strange look in his eyes when he was about to break it off. She knew he probably thought this was in his best interest but all the same she knew how to stop him, "sit."

With a smack, he was against the ground. Once he could he turned on his back and was preparing to get up, but before he could she knelt down on top of him, rather like straddling his hips and then she placed both hands on either side of his head and looked straight in the eye. A look of confusion was spread across his face, "what are you doing?"

"If you try to break up with me again because you think it's for my own good then I will S I T you to death, do you understand me?"

He swallowed back, seeming frightened by her harsh tone and severe look so he just nodded. She hugged him then. "Whatever happened just now… that wasn't you, it wasn't your fault. I am not scared of you. I love you… no one can protect me better than you."

"I tried to hurt you, didn't I?" he murmured back as he held her.

"No," she wasn't quite sure if that were a lie or not. "It was an accident."

"Alright then," he softly replied. It was easier to thin like that; after all… he really didn't know what he'd do without her anymore.

A thought came to mind then, one about the pearl he had gotten her as a gift. Now he finally knew a good purpose for it.

"We should get back so I can treat this," she stated as she reluctantly pulled away to point to the wounds on his chest. For some reason, when he went red eyed on them the wound stopped to bleed as badly as it could.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_A couple weeks past by after that incident, and Inuyasha had been acting strangely towards me. I was certain he was prepping ending our relationship again. He was always so… annoying about it. Whenever he thought it was for _my_ benefit he would just end it. Like he didn't think he was good enough for me, no matter how many times I told him to the contrary._

_What he did not know until later was that it really is the other way around. He was, and is, too good for me…_

"He's been acting strange," Kagome repeated to Sango, who was half listening and half watching her children as they played across the room from the two as they drank their tea. "I am worried about what he's thinking… he won't talk about it. Most of the time he's up late, thinking about something, worrying about me most the time."

"He's more worried now about Naraku's interest in you, I'm sure that's it," Sango answered as she looked to her friend briefly before back to her twins. "You are very important to him after all."

"I know," she muttered with a frown. Hopefully, that would be enough to keep him close.

Almost as if Sango knew exactly what she was thinking, she said, "he passed up a slaying job, he has no interest in leaving you anytime soon alone. Protecting you is very important."

She smiled at that, but her heart wasn't really behind it. There was plenty to still worry about… she helped Sango with preparing dinner for her family before she left for the night. She had to go fix something for Inuyasha to eat after all. In his strange stupor he would sometimes forget to eat—that's how she knew something was wrong.

"I'm back," she announced as she entered their home.

"Come on, let's go out," he suggested almost right away before he took her hand and pulled her out the door. Her brows bent together in confusion, and suspicion, but she didn't protest. They went just to the outcast of the village, right where the barrier almost ended. The well was just over the hill and the village just down it. From there, it was a rather pretty sight, but the way the stars glowed in the sky that night was what made it almost truly beautiful.

"Is this what we are doing?" she asked with a smile as she leaned against him. "Star gazing?"

"I guess," he replied as he ran his hand through his hair, his eyes scanning around the ground rather than the stars. It wasn't hard to tell he was nervous about something. When he slid a hand in his robe, "so…"

"So?" she repeated after a rather long pause.

"I think that… we're good together."

"I would agree," she assured him with a smile, but he wasn't really looking at her that moment. That was why she was preparing herself for the 'but' that was surely to come.

"I love you," he started once more while his gaze shifted to meet hers. "And… I know I want to spend a lot more time with you…"

"But?" she asked, just wanting to get that out of the way already.

He was quite for some time before he began again, "I'm not good at these things. At all… I've been trying to figure out how to do this for a while now."

"You're breaking up with me again?" she grumbled as she pulled away. A look of surprise scattered across his face.

"No," he dragged out, "that's not what this is…" He pulled the pearl he had turned into a necklace out of his robe.

"Is that for me?" she guessed, glowing with excitement as she picked it up and looked over it. "It's beautiful!"

"Yeah it's for you," he nodded. He hadn't expected her to snatch it from him like that. "It's a… proposal gift."

Nothing was said for a few seconds, then she finally spoke again, "oh! This is your way of asking me to marry you? Is that it?"

"I was getting there," he grumbled, "you kind of through me off."

"You really are?" she asked as she covered her mouth, cautiously he nodded. That's all it took for her to start squealing some and jumping with joy before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Yes!" she shouted after all that, then a few thousand more times.

_At the time, I wanted little else. It seemed so perfect. I was going to marry my child's father then I would somehow get our son back and then… we would live happily ever after._

_But there is never such a thing. I wish fairy tales taught us that as children._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

* * *

**A/N**: So, I finally updated! Sorry for the delay. Things got hectic lately... I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review. I also need to probably look over this again when I'm not so tired.

Anyway, I really do want to finish this story. So hopefully there will be an update once a week.


	27. Hell Hath No Furry Or Fear?

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_7: Hell Hath No Furry (Or Fear?)**.**_ °•.  
{…}

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_I was really happy for a brief moment in time. Blissfully so, we were together, officially, and even _engaged to be married. _I honestly could not have thought of anything else I would have wanted, well, that's not true. I would have liked it if our son was there. I would have loved it. _

_But I was still getting married to Inuyasha, and that was great... until, I ruined everything. I seriously fucked it up. And, really, it was all me. There's no way anyone could ever twist it to making it his fault. It's mine._

_All mine. And I've accepted that._

A dinner to celebrate the announcement of their engagement was to be held at the Higurashi household. Their dearest friends would be there, Sango, Miroku, their children, and Kaede. Inuyasha seemed rather annoyed by the prospect, he really didn't seem to care about making it a big deal. It was happening. He was glad about it, no need to go crazy about it.

She felt similar, she didn't need to announce it to the whole world, and she surely did not need a huge wedding, but she did want to share the moment with those she loved most. Really, she couldn't see a problem with that. It had been her that went to invite Kaede to the dinner.

What she discovered when she entered Kaede's hut confused her, maps were spewed across, threads connecting pins that had been placed in it. All seemingly centered around one point that didn't appear to be too far west of the village she was in now. Then there were the voices coming from the back room. Right away she knew one was Kaede, it took a moment for her to realize the other was Watanabe.

They were up to something... Kagome had known this for a while and it had bothered her how it seemed that their scheming behind closed doors only rubbed her the wrong way. Inuyasha was too trusting when it came to Watanabe. And though she did trust Kaede...

"Child," Kaede stated, surprise seeping into her as she walked out of the room with Watanabe behind her, "what is it that ye want?"

"To invite you to dinner," she answered warily, wondering for a moment if she had to invite Watanabe now that he was there. She'd rather not but... everyone else liked him, even Inuyasha. "What's all of this, Kaede-sama?"

For a long while the old lady remained mute before she turned her only good eye up to the taller man, who cautiously looked down to her as well. It seemed to her that they knew what each other were thinking, that they were debate over the pros and cons of telling her what they were up to then Watanabe finally nodded.

Kaede was the one to speak for the two of them, "child, I have wanted to tell you about all of this for a long while now. I could not, ye see, because I had to know all the facts before hand. I could not just tell you what we thought... and now we know the truth. Please go get Inuyasha. I believe it would be best if we told ye both at the same time."

"Alright," was her cautiously reply. Little of what Kaede had just confessed made her feel safe but she went and got her husband-to-be as quickly as she could. With her begging, he got them back quicker.

"What's going on, Kaede?" Inuyasha inquired as they walked into the hut, breaking up whatever conversation Watanabe and she was having.

"Please, sit," Watanabe requested as he motioned towards the table that had a pot of warm tea waiting for them. Kagome looked to Inuyasha before she took the leaned to kneel down by the table. Once they were all settled in, Watanabe nodded to Kaede to signal her to start.

"For many years now our world has been on a collision course with the world that you are from," Kaede looked to Kagome. "In both worlds, this has caused a massive casualty. People are disappearing, entire villages, whenever the worlds fuse... it leaves nothing or it... it forces the two things that were once there to be in the same space at the same time. Which... is not possible."

Watanabe took over when it appeared that continuing was too difficult for Kaede, "for example, two people, from two worlds, will collide. That kills them both and leaves a terrible sight. That is the illness that is spoken of... if things do not stop soon, then everyone will die. The worlds quickly clashing now, I am afraid that if nothing changes in a year then... there will not be two worlds to worry about."

_I could never forget the feeling I had in that moment. Utter fear, suffocating, everyone had everything to lose. My brother was on the other side, my son, and I could not lose either. But there was so much on Inuyasha's side that mattered. Him being one._

_So... eventually, when the time came, I would have to do what I did because I remembered that feeling._

_I remember it was bigger than just the way I felt._

_I ruined everything. _

Kagome's crisis filled hazel gaze turned to Inuyasha. He slowly turned to look at her before back at Watanabe and Kaede. It was a terrible feeling... being told that you only had a year left to live. He swallowed then asked, "what can be done?"

"Somehow we need to be able to seal off both worlds from each other but I do not know how we can do that," he explained with a heavy sigh. In that moment, they both could see how many new wrinkles of worry had appeared on his face. The one that no longer appeared to be too young. It had been a while ago that Kagome had learned that the Watanabe of this world had been cursed with eternal youth and life by a witch. That was how he still existed, while the one in her world used the shikon shard around his neck. It must have been a massive amount of worrying to cause that curse to give way to wrinkles...

"We aren't the only ones in this world trying to solve the problem but... but we are really at a lose. We don't know what to do."

"Is there something we can do?" Kagome questioned, "to help? Is that why you are telling us this now?"

Watanabe just shook his head, "not that I am aware of. In your world, Kagome, they are only looking for a way to destroy our own. That would solve the problem, if one world did not exist then the other would be fine. I don't want that to be our answer... but I won't lie, I would do the same thing. I do not know of anything that could fix this."

"Why are you telling us this?" Inuyasha inquired, "if we can't help."

"Because we know how it all started, and it is related to you," he explained before letting out another sigh.

That was when Kaede finally found the strength to take over the story once more. "There once was a group of small youkai in the other world that constantly sought the shikon shards but were constantly thwarted. They could not get the shards from those who now held them, so they found another way. They discovered our world, and knew that the shikon's counterpart was whole on this side. They were the ones who started the rip that, first crossed over into our world and caused this problem... this started years back, just before I took Kikyou on as an apprentice."

"It's all about the shikon no tama?" Kagome questioned.

"Aye," Kaede replied, "well, somewhat. You see, that rip imploded on itself. They were not able to get back to the other side... but it was enough to start the problems. They would probably not be as bad as they were if not for a human bandit by the name of Onigumo. After he raided a temple, killing the priests and priestess that protected it. He got the shikon no tama of our world that, but did not know why the jewel was of importance. He planned to sell it."

"But he did not, since he brought terrible luck on himself from killing so many that were so pure. He was caught in a fire that the hut he was staying it occurred. He was badly burnt, if not for the kindness of the priestess that found him he would be dead... and maybe this problem would not be so severe. That priestess... it was Kikyou."

"What?" Inuyasha spat, "you can't possibly be blaming her for doing her job!"

"Nay, Inuyasha," Kaede quickly stated. "She knew he had done terrible things, knew he was a man that most likely deserved to die, but she had taken an oath to help all that she could. Thus, she helped him, as I trained her to. If I were the one to find him, I would have done the same thing... he would never walk again, most likely never heal well enough to ever live without the bandages that Kikyou wrapped him in. He... Inuyasha, this will be hard for you to hear."

"Tell me anyway," he ordered harshly.

_I knew, when I looked to the hardened look on his face that in that moment... he still loved Kikyou. I just hoped he loved me more..._

_If I had to guess, if he was given the choice now, he would have chosen over me. She never betrayed him like I did._

"This was all around the same time you arrived at our village, Inuyasha. She never told you about Onigumo because she knew that you would not accept it. You were very protective of her and... The bandit became obsessed with her, on an unsettling level. When you asked her to marry you, she passed the duty of tending to him to me. She felt it was for the best, she no longer would be a priestess after all, and she did not have to follow her oath. She could not stand him...

"That was when the youkais finally found him. They knew he could lead them to the shikon, and thus they struck a deal. That created the demon we know as Naraku," she paused to allow that information to settle in. "Kikyou had the shikon at that time, she was protecting it, without telling anyone. It was safest that way. The barrier was around the village, though, so Naraku could not enter..."

"Why didn't she ever tell me?" Inuyasha murmured, "why not tell me that she was in danger?"

"She feared you getting harmed, she thought that you two would be safe if you just stayed in the village but when your child... she knew what we did not. That that only occurred because of black magic that Naraku had casted."

"What?" Inuyasha hissed.

"Yes... so she wanted to end it. To get rid of Naraku, so that you could live together happily... but as soon as she exited the barrier she was killed -"

"I found her in her bed, she was in one piece," Inuyasha countered.

"Aye..." Kaede looked to Watanabe then.

"We put Kikyou back, she had been killed with an attack that left no outward signs," Watanabe explained, "we knew about the other world and knew that if you did not help us there then we would all be doomed. If you knew what Naraku had done then... you would have sought him for revenge."

That was right, beyond right.

"You see, once Naraku got the shikon he found the rift to try and cross over to get the other part of the shikon jewel. It... has caused the problem to get worse, that was four years ago now. He had yet to be able to get to the other side. We believe that is because the shikon will not grant him that wish but... we are not certain. His obsession with Kikyou has seemed to translate into his interest in Kagome."

"What the fuck do you want me to say in reply to this?" Inuyasha inquired harshly, "to finding out that you... you've been lying to me all this time! That you covered up my _wife's_ murder?"

"Inuyasha, please try to understand," Kaede began only to be waved off by him as he stood up and exited. By the time Kagome got to the door he was gone...

"Kagome," Kaede started but she, too, raised her hand to stop her.

"I don't know what to think right now..."

_Moreover, I had no idea what this meant about him and me. Somehow, I got the feeling that our marriage was off. And I had this worse feeling... that he had gone to find Naraku._

_That he was going to get his revenge, or die trying. And that fear was suffocating. He didn't have his sword... it was broken in three pieces, waiting in our house to figure out how to fix it. _

_All that I knew was Hell had no furry like Inuyasha did in that moment. And I was so... so... so scared. _

* * *

**A/N**: _Thank you everyone for showing an interest in this story still. Unfortunately, that interest has apparently died down a considerable amount while the interest in two of my other stories (A Rose by Any Other Name & Toyfriend) has increased. So, I'm going to try and give the readers (rather, those who really care enough to review) what they want. And that's those two stories, thus the updates for this one may (and most likely will) die down in comparison to those two._

_I am not giving up on this story, though._

Please review continue to review :)


	28. Say Hello to a Thing Called Hope

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_8: Saying Hello to a Thing Called Hope__**.**_ °•.  
{…}

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_Night had taken the sky, casting away the sun's warm rays to give way to the coldness. Or maybe I just felt that way since it had been almost seventeen months since I had arrived in that world, the one that wasn't mine… and Inuyasha had left. _

_I was so scared I wouldn't see him again, that he wouldn't come back to me… but he did._

_He always did, whether he really wanted to or not. And I know… now, he stays with me, even when it disgusts him to._

_I can't say I really made a mistake. A mistake is something you don't think through, believe me, I thought it through thoroughly and I still did it. I regret it, yes, very much at times, but at others I'm glad I did it. I'm very glad. Because if I didn't… things could be worse._

_But… they might have been better, too. Truth is, I'll never know._

Anxiety coursed through her as she paced around their house waiting for him to come back. She wanted to go in search of him but Kaede and Watanabe had talked her out of it, it was too dangerous for her to breach the barrier without Inuyasha to protect her. Though she wanted to find her love, she didn't want to risk her live to do so, since she knew that he'd only hate himself more if something were to happen to her because of it.

Constantly, her eyes turned to the sky outside to verify it was still night, that days hadn't passed by since he left - that's how it felt like, forever. So many questions ran through her head, colliding together in the process.

Were they still engaged?

_Where _was he?

Did he still want to be with her or was avenging his dead wife more important now?

_Where _oh where was he?

Would he come back to her in one piece or multiple ones?

_Where _had had he gone?

Would he go crazy like he had last time she saw him in battle? With those horrible red eyes?

Before another one of those questions could annoy the hell out of her she heard someone outside her door, she held her breath as she turned to see who it was, and there he was walking in. Almost as if nothing was wrong at all. As if he didn't just scared her to death.

"Inuyasha," she whispered as she walked up to before hugging him. Relief fell through her body when he returned the gesture, "you scared me."

"Sorry," he murmured back.

"I was worried that you'd go after Naraku… and get hurt," she whispered.

"I thought about that," he thought hard about it, _really _hard. He deeply considered tracking him down and ending his life completely but he couldn't. There was one blinding reason why. "I couldn't leave you unprotected and I know that I'd get myself killed if I tried to go after Naraku with a broken sword. I'm not going to leave you without anyone to protect you."

She couldn't have been more relieved to hear that, she leaned against him more then. "I'm sorry they lied to you. I'm sorry about everything that just happened."

"Yeah… honestly, I don't know what to do. What to even think right now… I want to kill them but I shouldn't."

"No, you really shouldn't," she assured him as she looked up to him.

"Yeah," he grumbled back.

"So… Inuyasha," she meekly began, which was more than enough to win his full attention. It was concerning when she used that voice. He was a little worried that she was planning on revealing something he didn't like. Hopefully… she wouldn't tell him that she _knew _all of what they knew and never told him.

"We…" she slowly started as she turned her eyes away. "We… are still getting married, right?"

"Yes," he dragged out with a lifted brow, "so, is there a reason why you think that we wouldn't be?"

"In the past, whenever something like this would come up, you tended to freak out and push me away."

He could have argued with that but instead he just nodded, since it was the truth when he stopped to think about it. This time was different, he had given up on trying to protect himself from pain. He was willing to accept the prospect of losing Kagome, too, because it meant he could have her then. And that was plenty good enough for him…

"Kagome," he murmured to gain her hazels' attention once more, "I'm not going to do that this time, but we have to establish a few rules. I need you not to argue with me, either."

She bent a brow at that, certainly she didn't like the sound of that but all the same she said, "go on."

"You can _never_ leave the barrier without me, as long as Naraku has this sick interest in you we can't risk it. I can't… can't lose you, too, Kagome. So please just-"

"Alright," she could agree to that. It would make him feel better, and she really only liked to go to the well. It was more bearable to do that with him, too.

"Alright?" he repeated, "you aren't going to argue? Say I'm being too paranoid, too controlling?"

A small smile slipped up her lips as she reached out to take his hands, lightly she shook her head, "I know you mean well."

"I do," he assured while he pulled her into his embrace, kissing her atop her head all the while. "I can't lose you."

"You won't, I promise," she whispered back as she held him tightly.

"Good. because I'm not letting you go, Kagome. Not ever," he asserted back. Though there was no "I promise" attached to it, it was clear that he meant it as such. And at the time it made her heart sore. Maybe she finally found her knight, the one willing to wait forever just for her?

_In a way I did. In a way, it only made things worse. I wonder sometimes, if he would be happier if he never made that promise, if he could allow himself to leave me. But he doesn't. He just stays and pretends he's happy._

_At times, I know it's true. I know he _is_ happy, but I know it's her that brings him such joy. It's always her that makes him smile. When he smiles at me, I don't think it's real. I think in the back of his head he's still blaming me. But at the same time… he's a grateful to me, because if not for me, he would have never met her. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Inuyasha squirmed in his seat quite a bit, he was surrounded by people he liked but all the attention that was focused on them was terrible. He _hated _it, almost as much as he did the old hag that sat across from him. She had kept the truth about his wife and child's death… that both were on Naraku. That he had done it.

Granted, if he had known, he would have gone after the bastard. There was a fifty-fifty chance he'd be dead instead of sitting there with the Higurashi family, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, and their children.

No.

That was wrong. There was no chance he'd be sitting there with all of them. He would never have agreed to go across the well, he would have never met Kagome, when that thought came to mind he turned his attention to the girl that was sitting beside him. That was the sole reason he was enduring the dinner. She wanted to share the joy of their engagement with those that they love.

Everyone was so happy for them, so encouraging, so eager to see the two get married. They were the perfect couple, apparently. Fate surely aligned everything so that they could meet, two people from two worlds brought together. Inuyasha thought that was all bullshit, _they _found each other. Fuck fate.

He felt Kagome's hand squeeze one of his and saw a smile, one that was thanking him for putting up with all of this. He didn't have to when he had asked Kikyou to marry him, she was fine with just telling her family and not making any sort of big deal out of it. A small ceremony, just him, her, and her family. She didn't need anything big, didn't need attention.

He supposed Kagome didn't need any of that, either, she just liked it.

All the time he was supposed to be thinking about marrying Kagome, his thoughts were on his first wife. His attention on his former mother-in-law, who was blissfully unaware of the truth of everything. He didn't know… if it would be better if he told her or not. Maybe someday he would, maybe once Naraku was dead and gone. That way she could find peace.

Now she was better off living a lie, he knew he felt better when he thought that lie was the truth.

After the meal was finished, Kagome went off to play with the children and speak to Sango about what type of wedding she would want. That left him, Mrs. Higurashi, and the old man to talk. Apparently, that's what the two wanted.

"I am happy for you," Mrs. Higurashi stated with a smile.

"As am I," the old man assured.

"Thanks," he guessed.

"If you hurt her, Inuyasha, we will be _very _disappointed with you," she warned.

His brows bent together at that, "you think I would? I'm not going to let the same fate befall upon her as… as I did Kikyou. I swear."

She nodded, "that's not what I meant. I'm certain you won't. I mean, I don't want you hurting her emotionally. I have complete faith that you can protect her physically. Your courting had a lot of ups and downs, and when things were going poorly she would come to me. I saw the way you hurt her… I don't want that to happen again."

A frown surfaced as he looked away, only to hear he old man start up, "you hurt my grandbaby and I'll rip those ears off of your head."

He just gave a sour look to him, knowing he couldn't follow through with that threat. It had been a while now since he had taken to calling Kagome that. Not because he confused her with Kikyou, but because he had 'adopted' Kagome as such. She was his other-son's daughter, he figured that meant they were related at least.

"I won't, I promise," Inuyasha insisted, "she was dumb enough to say yes when I asked… so I won't be dumb enough to cause her that type of pain again."

"She wasn't dumb for saying yes," Mrs. Higurashi countered as she reached out to place a hand on top of his. "She's very _lucky_ to have someone like you."

It was nice that she believed that but… he didn't think she was lucky at all.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"I just want something small," Kagome explained as she interlaced her fingers with Inuyasha, a smile on her face. "Just you and me, the Higurashi family, Miroku and Sango. Would that be alright with you?"

"Yeah," he nodded, his eyes constantly scanning around them, his ears flickering to make sure he could hear anything if it were coming.

She let out a sigh as she looked over him, half sure that he wasn't paying attention to what she was saying. Ever since they found out the truth about what happened, each time they went to the well - they _left_ the barrier - he would be on top alert, ready in case something or someone attacked. She knew it was out of concern for her well being, but it was a bit annoying.

"I think we should have a _huge_ wedding, invite the _entire_ village, and then have sex in front of everything to consummate it," she said, testing to see if he was listening at all.

"Uh-huh," he replied with a nod, his eyes shifting to the trees as they got closer to the well.

"You didn't hear a word I just said," she accused as she nudged his arm, finally earning a glance.

"Sure I dd."

"What'd I just say?"

"Erm… well, something about the wedding, obviously," he rejoined once they got to the well. She took her hand away and folded her arms, staring him down until he admitted, "fine, I wasn't but that's just because I was making sure nothing was around or following us."

She shook her head lightly as she walked up to the well, looking down it to see if she could tell that there was something different. As always, it looked completely normal. As if it was nothing more than a well, yet this well had caused them so much heart ache.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her atop the head, before lifting her up and leaping down the well with her. Both of them held their breath, longer than usual this time.

It took them longer than normal to touch the bottom, because a flash of blue wonder cascaded around them, as if they were somewhere else, until they weren't and Inuyasha could feel his bare feet on the bottom of the well. Quickly they leaped out to see that there was a forest around instead of concrete.

He swallowed as he let her go, not yet able to breath as he looked at Kagome who appeared ever so stunned. He didn't know what to do, but he was mentally preparing himself for her to break down and starting crying again. Instead she turned her awe-struck hazels up to him before saying, "did that just really happen?"

"Yes," he murmured.

"That means it might start to work soon!" She cried out, a smile on her face as she hugged him swiftly.

_It was so strange… it had been so long since I had known hope like that._

_Trust me when I saw hope is not a mother's friend. Hope is a horrible whore that taunts you only to say 'screw you' and leave later._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Lazily, he lied in his - rather, their - futon, staring at the ceiling as his women who was asleep, he could tell from her heartbeat and the way she was breathing even with her back towards him. Lately, it was harder to sleep than normal. He knew that they were safe within the barrier, but it wasn't her safety that he fretted over late at night. It was the guilt… the pain of knowing the truth.

He let out a sigh as he turned on his side to look at the back of the women he was going to marry. He wasn't sure how good of an idea that was anymore. For some time, he just stared at her until his lids started to get heavy enough that when they flickered closed he thought he might actually be able to sleep.

That was, until he snapped his hand against his neck to kill a bug that began to suck his blood, his brow twitching all the while.

"What the hell do you want?" he grunted as he pulled the flee away while he sat up, staring at the little demon.

"Mi'lord," he replied with difficultly, "you said you wanted me to find a way to fix your sword."

"Yeah, and what of it?"

"Inuyasha," Kagome grumbled, tugging on the sheets to cover herself more and turn over on her stomach.

Obviously, she wasn't awake enough to comprehend anything beyond the fact that he was making noise and he didn't want her to lose sleep so he got up and walked out into the living room area.

"I found the demon that created it, his name is Totosai, mi'lord," Myoga explained.

"Where's he live?"

"About a two days journey to the south," he explained, "in a cave up a volcanic mountain."

That didn't sit well with him, he would probably be gone for a week if things went well… if they didn't, it could take longer. With a frown he looked back to the bedroom, he didn't want to leave her alone for that long but without his sword fixed he wouldn't do much good protecting her.

Either way, he knew she wasn't going to like it.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

A frown crossed his lips as she rested against their bed, looking up to Inuyasha as he sat beside her. He was right, she didn't like the sounds of that. He refused to allow even he _consideration _of her coming with him. She had to stay safe, and the only way he could know that he was safe was if she was inside the barrier.

A sigh left her lips as she tugged for him to lie down next to her, which he reluctantly did. He wanted to be up and out of there so he could get done with it quicker but she wanted to spend some time with him before he left.

"So… about our engagement, I want to lie down a rule, too. If I have to listen to yours, then you have to listen to mine."

"Alright," he supposed that sounded fair enough. If it was something ridiculous he would surely say no regardless. But he patiently waited to hear what it was.

"Can we not have sex until we get married?"

His brow bent as he looked over her to try and figure out if she was serious or not, she wasn't smile, and there was no hint of a laugh, so she… she was serious? Cautiously, he asked, "why?"

"I think it would make our wedding night special," she stated. "Most people never have sex before they get married but we have."

He pressed his lips together before he parted them to grumble an, "alright… fine, I can agree to that. You can't leave the barrier, I have to go try and convince this old youkai that knew my dad to fix my sword, and we can't have sex. This is going to blow."

She smiled some as she leaned forward to kiss him. "Thank you, Inuyasha."

"Yeah… yeah," he muttered.

"I love you," she promised as she interlaced her hand with one of his, "and I will miss you."

"Just plan the wedding while I'm gone instead of worrying about me," he ordered, "I want to get married quickly."

"Can't stand the idea of not having sex that badly?" she taunted.

He shrugged a shoulder, "I just don't care to drag this thing out. I know I want to be with you, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know it. I don't need to try this engagement to see if that's the case or not."

She smiled all the more at that, "I feel the same way. A small wedding would be alright?"

"It'd be perfect," he stated. "I'm going to be leaving soon."

A frown surfaced again as she pulled her hand to her lips.

"Kagome, the sooner I leave, the sooner I get back."

"I guess that's true," she muttered, "I just wish you didn't have to go at all."

"Me, too, but I can't help that."

_I really wished he didn't have to go… but we did need that sword of his fixed. Without it, we would have be truly vulnerable._

_And Naraku had no intention of stopping… he'd just keep coming, keep _ruining _whatever we had. _


	29. Getting Married, Probably

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**2**_9: Getting Married, Probably..**.**_ °•.  
{…}

**_*Please read the A/N at the end of this chapter, thank you*_**

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_I worried each and every second of each and every day that he wasn't there, by my side. He was somewhere I couldn't reach him. No longer was I permitted to pass through the barrier that protected our village from the way the worlds were collapsing on themselves… it was so easy to forget that was happening in the safety of our village. Easy to forget the pain that swallowed the world, the mass amount of loss, the loved ones that disappeared over night…_

_I didn't even think that maybe the area Inuyasha went to would also disappear, that I'd know the pain that so many around me did when they realized those that meant more than the world to them were gone. No… I didn't know that pain._

_Not yet._

_Because he came back, with a full sword, and cocky grin as if I was dumb to worry my head off about him. I'd always worry about him, though, just as I always worried about our son… but it wouldn't matter in the end. _

_And I suppose that will always be my fault._

A shy smile was flashed to him from across the room, from the woman that in just a day would be his wife. Higurashi Kagome would be _his _wife. It was so strange… to think, he'd be married again. _Again_… it was weird to think he once was. It seemed like his time with Kikyou was so long ago, that it was another life ago, and now there he was about to go through it all again. It could end horribly, just like before, and it would be a lie to say he wasn't scared. He was.

But… he didn't want to give up the chance to be with her, the chance at happiness, just because he was frightened he'd lose her-that he'd go through _that_ pain again. He lost his son _twice_ he couldn't lose his wife another time. He'd die. He knew it.

Still, so many feelings fluttered around the uncertain hanyou's gut that he had to wander away for a while and allow Kagome and Sango some time alone to discuss whatever last minute fixes they had to do for the wedding. It was going to be a small one, like they had agreed upon, only the Higurashi family, Kaede, Watanabe, and Miroku and Sango's family would be a part of it.

He didn't really want Watanabe or Kaede there, but one was the village head and the other Kagome's mentor so... he got vetoed when he suggested not even telling them what day they were getting married.

And it would all happen _tomorrow_… tomorrow he'd be locked in another marriage. Would it really be until they were old? Or would it just be another one that a premature death would part?

"You excited?" Caught him off guard, so much that he jumped some before he turned around to see his purple eyed friend standing there with a grin-it was rare that he could sneak up on the hanyou like that.

"What?"

"Are you excited about the wedding," Miroku elaborated.

He swallowed as his golden gaze wandered around to verify that they were alone, he even took a deep breath to make sure no familiar scents lingered in the air, then he confessed, "I don't know. I… maybe this is a bad idea, ya' know? We haven't been courting for _that_ long if you stop to think about it. It's not been a year or anything… maybe we're rushing into this. I didn't really think through it, like I always never do. I just…"

"It only took a week for me to realize I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Sango," Miroku defended, he had a feeling that if anyone was going to get cold feet about the wedding it'd be his always barefooted friend. "You and Kagome have known each other for, what? More than two years now, you've gone through so much together that I think it's safe to say that you two can handle just about anything. An you do love her."

"I do…" he knew that, he knew he'd never feel the same way about anyone else. She was it. His last chance at happiness, his love. "But.. a part of me feelings like this is wrong, that I should never get married again, because I still love Kikyou and I will always miss her."

"This is really not the best time to decide to get cold feet, Inuyasha," Miroku stated to earn his weak gaze, "the wedding ceremony is tomorrow… but if that's how you feel you really need to talk to Kagome about it sooner rather than later."

He swallowed heavily at that idea, it'd only hurt Kagome to hear him think like that. She didn't want him thinking of Kikyou like that anymore… but he knew Miroku was right, he had to talk to her about it before they got married. Maybe she'd just call of the wedding, then he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore?

Then again… he'd be crushed if she did that.

To have to deal with such conflicting emotions all at once was mind numbing, before he ever fell in love he never had to deal with that. It was simpler when he didn't have to deal with anyone else - when he was _alon_e. Then again, it was awfully miserable that way… but he never knew the misery of losing a child or a wife either.

He just groaned to himself as he ran his hand through his hair and glanced at the door to their home, waiting for her to get back from her chat with Sango, hating that they had to have such a conversation yet eager to get it over with. Gods, he didn't want to see her hurt. He didn't want to _hurt_ her. He'd hate himself forever.

Finally, it opened and she came in, a curious gaze flickering around the room until she saw him - her smile only grew at that. Apparently, he had been what she was looking for, but that smile faded some when she asked, "what's wrong?"

It wasn't hard for her to tell that there was something bothering her husband-to-be, what with the way his eyes instantly diverted hers and his inability to stay in one place for too long. But, patiently, just stood there waiting for him to answer.

"I… erm, Kagome, I…" he took a deep breath in as his finally stopped wandering about and looked to her. "I feel a little wrong about getting married again. I… just don't know. I still love Kikyou, still miss her, and she was my first wife I just…"

For a while she remained mute, her eyes fixed on his, her lips in a fine line-which was good, he supposed, instead of a downward curl. Finally, she took a few steps closer to him and raised her hand up to cup one of his cheeks. "I know, Inuyasha. I know a part of you will always love and miss her and feel like it's wrong to have moved on to be with me. That's alright."

"It… it is?"

"Yes," she assured with a faint smile, "I accept that as long as you can accept the fact that a part of me will always want to be in my world with my real family instead of with you."

He knew… he had always known that she still missed her brother dearly, that she let a couple tears trickle down her cheeks every once and a while because of that. "I'm alright with that."

"Good," she whispered as her smile grew slightly, "I think as long as we are both open about our concerns and our other parts-the one that wants to be together-are larger than everything will be alright."

He let a heavy breath, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, "I agree."

"Aren't you glad we talked about this?" she teased while she patted him on the cheek and laughed lightly.

"So glad," he earnestly admitted before he grabbed her wrist and yanked her close so that their lips could mesh while his other arm slipped around her waist to hold her close. His tongue dipped into her mouth when she parted her lips ever so slightly and without thought her arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer to her. In moments like that, when they were caught in passion, it was easy to forget all their woes. To think they were no different than any other couple, that they had a happy life, that there was nothing that was out to kill them, out to ruin their happily ever after.

And she loved it like that, just like he did. If merely kissing him could make her feel that way then she knew he was the one that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The one that would make her happy until the day she died.

When she felt his hand slip up under her clothes to try and feel her dainty skin that she had denied him for weeks now she pushed away, a playful smile on her face as she wagged her finger at him.

"Inuyasha, wait until tomorrow night."

"I don't get why I have to wait," he grumbled bitterly with narrowed eyes, "it's not like we haven't done it frequently before."

"Tomorrow night will be special, because you want it so badly," she explained, still smiling, as she turned away to walk into their bedroom and begin to gather her things. "We're going to sleep apart tonight and not see each other until tomorrow, at the ceremony, okay?"

"Why?" he groaned as he leaned against the doorway, watching her every movement-especially when she bent over to pick something up. Really, the tension was killing him.

"It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, it's a western tradition that caught on in my world, I like it, and the last thing we need is to spark more bad luck, right?" she inquired after she glanced over to him, he just nodded at that. "I love you, very much."

"I know," he murmured while she walked up to kiss him, "and I love you."

"I know," she assured him softly before stepping aside and going out of the room. "I will see you tomorrow, my soon to be husband."

"You're not going to get _any_ sleep tomorrow," he warned her with a grin, "I'm going to keep you up all night. There's a lot of time to make up for."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she stated simply as she walked off.

_Too bad there were many nights to come where we'd get ever so little sleep... though the lack of sleep we got on our wedding night is something I still look back on with a smile.  
_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Inside the Shinto shrine next to the Higurashi household was were the ceremony would take place. Neither wore anything extravagant, because neither really cared, Kagome wore the simple pink, green, and white wedding kimono that her other-mother had when she got married. The only outsider there was the Shinto priest that conducted the ceremony. As it was customary he chanted the words that would purified them, gave them the sake that had to be drank, and then motioned for one of them to finally start to speak.

The groom, the one who had to read the words of commitment of faithfulness and obedience, and she knew he meant all of it. That it was more than just a requirement for him to say during the ceremony.

_And that's true, he kept his words, through the worst of times-times that were mostly my fault, mind you-he stayed with me. Though I know he'd rather not look at me, rather not touch me, rather not hold me at times. I'm not the one he loves most anymore, I haven't in a long while. He loves her more than me. _

_But I'm alright with that. Really, I am._

After he was finished the priest read the wedding contract before nihonshu was served to the guests and then poured into three special cups, each of different sizes. It was then time for SanSanKudo, using the smallest of the cups the Inuyasha took three sips, then Kagome did likewise-though, she had never enjoyed the taste of rice wine. They did the same with the medium and large cups. At the end both families were meant to drink from the largest cup which would have represented the union of the bride and groom and unification of the two families, but neither really had family left in the world so reluctantly the Shinto priest moved past that part.

_Drinking the wine as they did was a sign that the marriage vows were sealed, that we were bound to the and each other. And we were… forever and always we'd be locked to each other. I'm fine with that, I still love him, and I know he still loves me too. It's not nearly as much as he used to._

_Maybe a larger part of him resents me than loves me now. I resent myself more than anything, too, though I hide it, though I pretend I'm happy. Sometimes I believe that illusion. Sometimes when we're together I really am. _

After the ceremony was finished they went to the Higurashi house to have dinner and a small celebration that finally the two were wed. Man and woman, husband and wife… really, Kagome never thought she could be so happy, so free of worries. It was almost perfect but for that brief time she didn't want to think about the _almost_-she just wanted to allow it to be perfect.

Constantly, she smiled, so much that it almost hurt, but in a good way-great way, even.

"Let's go already," Inuyasha would whisper into her ear each chance he got. She knew why, he was ever so eager to take her back to their home and remove her clothes.

"Just a bit longer," she'd whisper back.

In all reality, though, she didn't want to spend the evening with her friends and other-family, and everyone knew that.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Certainly she was on fire, everything within her burned with delight, stirred and twirled like the wildest of flames as she jerked her hips with each of his thrusts to feel the most brilliant sensations. Their bodies worked flawlessly together-no one could every make her experience all he did. Not that she'd ever been with another, not that she ever would.

She was his, completely and always, and no thought could make her happier. Her hands had lost feeling from the way she clenched the sheets around her, her throat was dry from all the cries. She moaned all the same as she jerked forward, feeling him bring her closer and closer to the edge that would finally allow her to fall into her brilliantly bright, beautiful, organism.

He worked her perfectly, knowing each spot that she loved the most, and she knew all his buttons, too. She knew how to move her hips to sync with him, to swirl her hips to make him moan. Ever since he ripped her clothes off to push her down onto their futon they'd been going at it, and he hadn't an intention to stop after the first flight to heave, nor the second shot to bliss, or anytime in the near future it would seem.

It happened all at once - she was there. She would have screamed if she had the vocal power left. Her ripples within gave him the final pleasure he needed to meet her there. It took plenty of time for them to catch their breath, to fall back down from their heights and look to each other. A smile upon her lips, satisfaction spewed across his.

"I love you," she whispered, "very much."

"Same," he simply said as he rolled onto his side to pull her close and lean down to touch her lips to his.

"I'm so happy right now," she asserted while her fingers glided through his strands of silver, "so, so, _so_ happy…"

Growing up as a priestess in training meant she never thought she'd have such a life-a _husband_, someone to spend the rest of her life with that could just be hers. It wasn't like the fairy tale she had grown up admiring, though he had waited a hundred nights for her at one point, it was better. She had him, for all the right reasons.

The only thing that could make that moment perfect was as if they had their son… both thought that, but neither dared to say it in fear of ruining the illusion of perfectness.

And for that night, they'd just live like that.

Because tomorrow, when they'd go to check the well, it wouldn't work just as they thought in the pit of their guts… but somehow, for both, simply being married-united forever-made that pity more bearable.

* * *

**_A/N_**_: First off, I couldn't find the words of commitment for the life of me hence why they were absent. The second part is more important, **please read the following**:  
_

_I am sorry if it appears I'm neglecting this story I just have to wait for inspiration to hit me to write and for the most part I've been inspired to write for Toyfriend instead. Plus I just moved from the US to Australia so I've been adjusting to that, which is really quite a big change. So please forgive me for this not being a "well tended to and greener pasture" as one reviewer complained. _

_Rest assured, **I will finish this story**. It will just take me more time. It's the only story I have planned out until the end and it is closest to my heart so even though there are less reviews for this story than there used to be I will continue to update it. _

_I'm just curious as to how many people are still interested in updates for this story? I realize that my inconsistency to update it has lost a lot of readers so please review and tell me if you are still interested. It'd just be nice to know…_


	30. Her Worst Nightmare's Alive

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**3**_0: Her Worst Nightmare's Alive**.**_ °•.  
{…}

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

There was little that concerned her more than to see her husband tense up when they were outside of the barrier, the only time he permitted her to leave it was on their trips to check and see if the well was working. For the first month of their marriage the answer was a simple one. No. No the horribly cruel gods refused to let their fate's be easy, their son was getting older and older with each passing day yet they couldn't be there to watch him.

He was well over a year old now…

None of that was on her mind as her eyes locked on Inuyasha, his gaze was shifting around in search of something, his body rigid as if danger was near yet he didn't say a word. Until finally a demon, three actually, came out of the forest and into the small clearing around the well.

Two were unfamiliar to her, one looked like a small toad, another a double headed dragon, but the third she knew. He was, technically speaking, her brother-in-law. Granted half-brother-in-law but still, and also a man that had tried to kill her husband probably on multiple occasions, she had only witnessed it happen first-hand once. Inuyasha had slowly began to tell her more and more about his life before he settled down in the village they called home.

Essentially what she gathered from his stories was that Sesshomaru tried to kill him each time they crossed paths. Really, she didn't understand… they were blood, why fight like that?

But when she turned from the elegantly handsome full blooded youkai to her husband she could tell he wasn't on full alert, on the contrary, he was quiet confused as he stared with a raised brow at what sat upon the two headed dragon. A small girl… a _mortal_ girl.

"I thought I smelled your stench," Sesshomaru asserted as his condescending golden gaze glimmered over his half-brother then to Kagome. "Still with your mortal wench, I see."

"I call her that again and I'll kill you," he countered, halfheartedly though since his attention still mostly rested on the smiling girl in an orange yukata. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to say such a threat in front of someone so small…

"Hello!" the girl called out finally as she waved to them, Kagome quickly smiled and returned the gesture. "I'm Rin."

"That's such a pretty name," Kagome assured her as she took a couple of steps towards her, though she could tell from the fact that Inuyasha instantly reached out to grab her hand that he didn't want her to get too close. "I'm Kagome and this is my husband, Inuyasha."

"Husband?" Sesshomaru said with a heavy hint of disapproval, "married another mortal, Inuyasha?"

"So says the youkai who is, what, babysitting a mortal kid?" For a great youkai to fall for a mortal women seemed less bad to him than for a great and fearful youkai adopting a mortal child…? At least he could say it ran in the family in regards to bedding a mortal, their father had done it after all, but for him to tend to a child? Inuyasha had never heard of that happening before, n_ever_.

To that, his elder brother just scoffed before he began to walk off once more, forcing the others to follow him.

"Goodbye, Kagome-san!" Rin proclaimed with a fervent wave of her hand.

"Goodbye, Rin-chan," she replied with a warm smile as she did the same. Once they were back in the forest she turned to Inuyasha to ask, "who is Rin?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know," he grumbled back while he nodded towards the village. He hadn't the faintest of ideas what Sesshomaru - a youkai infamous for his hatred of humans - was doing with a human child but… he supposed that wasn't his problem. Though, whatever diluted form of fathering instincts he possessed did beckon for him to worry a bit about the kid. It was unlikely that Sesshomaru knew how to deal with children, let alone human ones…

"Who was the toad?"

"Jaken, he's to Sesshomaru what Myoga is to me," he explained with a shrug of his shoulder before he interlaced his fingers with hers to lead her back down the hill into the protection of the barrier. He always became visibly more comfortable when she was inside of it. Really… Kagome hated how he worried so much about her, yet loved it at the same time. It meant he _loved_ her a great deal.

Then again, that was obvious. They were married after all, the very thought always got her to smile. She was as happy as could be about that and he was equally content with the fact. For the most part, she spent her days either with him or tending to the ill in the village as she had been traded to do by Kaede. From her work she was well liked by everyone, someone that more and more came to instead of Houjo's family. Mostly because her services were equally as good and cheaper, big families usually called upon her because they couldn't afford to pay for all their children's medicine and she'd never not give an ailing child their needed herbs.

Once the news of their engagement spread across the villages some were hesitant to bring up the subject to her, it was clear there was a stench of disapproval amongst most about the idea of her marrying a hanyou. He was well liked, as much as anyone of his kind could be, and they respected his strength-the very strength that kept protecting their village. Yet… for him to marry another mortal women…?

There were still people foolish enough that thought that anyone who had to try to have a child from a hanyou would die, and that's what had happened to Kikyou. Still, when she went all the way through with it and actually became his wife people felt the need to congratulate her and even him. No one was jumping for joy for them but they accepted it which was really all that she could ask for in the end.

She didn't care if anyone approved or not, she did. There was no one in the world that she'd rather be with. No man she'd rather let touch her or sleep by her side each night. Certainly, there would never be another that could protect her like him. And no one that would ever love her as much as he did.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"What do you mean you have to go…?" Kagome inquired with a pout as she watched him place his sword on his side. It was almost always there, even when he slept, but when they were sitting at the table together eating a meal she forced him to set it down.

"You know that this is my job," he kept up as he looked over to her, regretting that decision instantly. He hated to see her look so… upset. She never liked it when he went on his hunting trips with Miroku but that was how the two made their money. He had a wife to support now, granted Kagome could support herself from her healing practice but he still felt the need to bring money in. He was the man after all. Miroku had Sango and the children that he needed to get supplies for, certainly he wouldn't do half as well if Inuyasha didn't come with him. Sango wouldn't feel nearly as at ease if he went alone.

In all reality, it was the only thing the once perverted priest and still hot-headed hanyou were good at.

"How long will you be gone…?"

"Four or five days, at most," he answered. "It's nothing serious, Miroku and I will take care of it and come home safely. I promise."

"You promise…? You swear that you'll never get killed, you'll always come home to me?"

_I knew that it was a silly thing to ask of him even then. It was hardly as if someone could keep that promise. It wasn't as if many could foresee their own death but I felt better if he just lied to me and said yes. _

"I promise," he asserted as he walked over to her and leaned down to kiss her briefly, "I'll be back before you know it. Besides, it's not like we'd be spending too much time together this week, right?"

"Why do you say that?" she asked, her pout only deepening at the thought.

"You're going to help Kaede with the birth of that one family, right? It'll happen sometime this week. Isn't it?"

"Right," she chimed, she had almost forgotten. She'd never helped with a birth, other than with her son's, so when Kaede inquired if she wanted to learn how to she didn't have to stop to think about it. It would be the woman's first child, so it'd be a long process, and then there was the cleaning of the child and the room afterwards. It would take at least a day if not two, he was right, they wouldn't have been together often that week.

"I don't know why you'd want to do that…" Inuyasha earnestly stated, "it's such a disturbing thing to happen…"

She just rolled her eyes at that, of course a man was going to say that. It wasn't like it was the prettiest sight but it was necessary. For a brief moment she thought about bringing up the fact that he was there when she was giving birth but decided against it. Whenever she mentioned their son he had the most pained look on his face… she didn't want to cause that again.

"Once Kaede's gone someone is going to have to know how to do it in this village."

"I hope Kaede's gone soon," he grumbled so low that he thought it got by her.

It didn't… but she wasn't going to address it. She knew he was still very mad at both Watanabe and Kaede for not telling him the truth of the situation, about what had really happened to his first son and wife. She couldn't blame him there, and it was hardly like Inuyasha was the forgiving type. There was a good chance that he'd never forgive them.

Kaede was still Kagome's mentor, she couldn't find someone better to learn from, and Inuyasha understood that. He allowed it even, but it wasn't as if they'd be having her over for dinner anytime soon. And neither had seen Watanabe since the wedding, which was exactly how Inuyasha wanted it to remain. The man gave her the creeps so she was fine with it as well.

"Stay safe, love," Kagome requested as she gave him one last kiss before he left… leaving a horrible feeling of dread to pang within her for each and every second until he returned.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Births weren't pretty, but beautiful in its own way, because it signified a life was brought into the world. She had first hand experienced at how tiresome giving birth could be, but she didn't discover until midway through the week how utterly wearisome aiding the long process could be either. The whole time she felt a bit empty… especially when the mother finally got to hold her healthy baby boy, her eyes swelling with tears as she looked over her perfect son.

Kagome never got to do that. She never held her son… but she withheld the urge to lament over that fact instead to clean the child and do all that was required to clean up after the process. Once she was finished she was exhausted yet afraid to sleep. She knew where her dreams-rather, nightmares-would take her and she didn't want to have to deal with that. She'd sleep when Inuyasha's arms were around her.

Instead she went to visit Sango and the children, which were always an extra handful when their father was gone. To her surprise, though, her friend wasn't alone. Ayumi was there, gloating about how she would soon be married to Houjo. She had been pleased when she heard that the two had gotten back together a while ago, and even more delighted to hear the two would be married.

Houjo and she deserved someone that could make them happy, and they found that in each other.

"We are going to have a large reception, a huge ceremony," Ayumi swore as she flung her arms high in the air, "and you are all welcome to come celebrate with us."

"We'd love to," Sango assured her as she glanced over at her youngest child, her nearly two year old son, who was sleeping soundly behind her. When her mahogany gaze shifted back to Ayumi they quickly snapped back to the ajar door-only left that way to allow the nice breeze in.

There stood her brother, Kohaku, who she had been out of her mind with worry about. She had thought he had been lost when the village he was staying at disappeared, so a smile quickly took her lips as she got up to open the door all the way. Instantly she could tell something was wrong, just as Kagome could, since his eyes were so dull… then he started to run off.

"Kohaku, wait!" Sango cried out before she sprinted after him.

"Watch the children, please, Ayumi, we'll be back," Kagome quickly asserted then leaped up to rush after her friend in hopes that she could catch up with her. She didn't even think twice about crossing the protective barrier to follow the two into the forest. In the twists and turns, though, she lost sight of Sango.

"Sango?" She cried out as she began to turn all the way around in hopes of catching a glimpse of her. When she heard a scream she turned to the west and saw through the trees Sango getting knocked down by Kohaku as he lifted a knife high in the air as if he meant to kill her. "Stop!"

But her cry went unheard and when she started to run towards him she felt something stop her and stick her to her spot… a spider web. There was no chance for her to scream or call out for help before it lifted her above the ground and began to quickly wrap itself fully around her until she couldn't seem to breath anymore.

And there was nothing but darkness…

"Kagome!" she barely heard through the web before it was cut out from around her. Instead of falling to the ground she felt someone catch her. Instantly her hazels turned up in wonder at Inuyasha. What perfect timing for him to come home.

"Sango!" she heard Miroku call out and turned her head to see him rush by them to Kohaku who only turned and ran away. She couldn't see if Sango was alright… but her mind faded from the worry from her friend when she heard Inuyasha grunt, the horrible sound of something being stabbed, and the warm splash of liquid upon her turned cheek.

The next thing she knew she fell to the ground, out of her husband's arms, and when she turned to see why her hazels widened in horror.

It wasn't possible… she lost the ability to breath as she stared at the wide eyes of her lover as a sword was removed from right where his heart was. He fell to his knees before collapsing over in a pool of his blood. All she saw behind him was a grinning crimson eyed hanyou.

Naraku.

"I've been waiting to kill him for a while now, thank you for luring him right into this trap," Naraku asserted with a smirk but before he could reach out and take her as it appeared he wanted a scroll was thrown at him to cause him to cry out in pain.

"Kagome!" Miroku cried out, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her and yank her away, pulling the stunned women away as she watched Miroku kneel down and lug Inuyasha's body over his shoulder to follow them.

Move, Inuyasha, move… show any sign of life, Kagome's mind begged as she watched with unblinking eyes but he didn't move.

He didn't breath.

His stabbed heart no longer beat.

He wouldn't move ever again…

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Never in all her life had so many tears trickled down her face, never had she felt her lungs burn for air so much from the sheer fact that she had been sobbing for what seemed like forever as she lowered her forehead to the dirt and clenched some in her fists. It had to be a dream. It couldn't be true. None of it could…

It had to be wrong. She couldn't have just witnessed _that_. She couldn't have just stood in the midst of morning people at her husband's funeral. Inuyasha's body couldn't have been the one burned. Inuyasha's ash couldn't be what was in the grave in front of her.

Inuyasha couldn't be dead… they weren't married even two months! How could fate be so cruel? It took her baby and now her husband? What was the point of life if she couldn't have either?

"You… you promised," Kagome stuttered as she gasped in for air, "you can't be dead!"

"_We're so sorry for your loss," _that was what everyone kept telling her. So sorry that he was dead. So sorry that they had all treated him so poorly yet he protected their village all the same… she didn't care. She didn't give a damn what they thought.

Because… it couldn't be reality. She'd wake up any moment and it'd just be a dream. Inuyasha would be lying next to her with his mouth ajar as it so often was when he was sound asleep, snoring lightly, and ears twitching. Yet when she opened her eyes all she saw was his graveyard.

She swallowed heavily as she stood up and walked away, uncertain of what to do. What _was_ there to do if this was her reality? The next thing she knew she was at the well, she hadn't remembered even leaving the village yet there it was… empty in front of her. Slightly she shook her head as she looked over the damned thing.

If not for it she wouldn't have known Inuyasha, she wouldn't have had his child, her life wouldn't be in such disarray. She'd live in ignorant bliss once more. With the fatigued fury she had she slammed her fists down on the well before she felt tears start to fall once more - yet, something else as well. A weird coldness wrap around her.

When she opened her eyes she saw blue rays waving out of the well to grab her and yank her in, pulling her through a strange blue wonder. Once it all faded away she could see the sky was different above. Not the dusk that it once was, but instead a harsh gray, as if the sun couldn't ever shine again. Lightening struck throughout it, yet never out of it, never down towards the ground. It was like the clouds were angry, warning all what horrors they could unleash.

Confusion would have coursed through her if agony didn't already consume her fully. Begrudgingly she climbed out of the well to see the concrete courtyard that she hadn't seen in almost two whole years… it was such a strange sight. It didn't seem right.

There were cracks where there once was perfectly laid ground, the same went for the walls of the castle, everything seemed to be close to ruins. Gradually she moved forward to try and find someone to explain what had happened. Had a war broke out? Had the castle been attacked?

Maybe… she could get her son back now?

What she found was a group of crying maids instead, all huddled together hopelessly as tears trickled down their cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Kagome dared to ask.

"How could you need to ask?" one hissed, "the world is almost completely destroyed! Nowhere is safe, the castle is all that is left! Everyone is dead and gone! The world is about to end!"

"We're all doomed," another moaned as she wrapped her arms herself.

"I thought…" Kagome cautiously began, not sure how to exactly say it, "that the child was meant to save us…"

The child. _Her_ child.

"He's useless," another cried, "he's just a little devil!"

"Where is he?" Kagome asked.

"No one cares," the first declared before they huddled together once more to continue the crying.

Kagome merely walked on, trying to ignore what that meant - her Kaede, her Souta… were dead if the world had really all fallen around the castle. She just took a shaky breath in as she shut her eyes, trying to not allow anymore tears to fall - really, the fact that she still had tears to shed was remarkable. She felt like she'd be crying for days.

"Are you happy with yourself?" A harsh inquiry caught her attention and forced her to open her eyes and turn on her heels. There stood Watanabe, a gaze filled with hatred fixated upon her. "You couldn't just do your part! Our world is falling apart, your mentor is dead, your brother is _dead_."

She just swallowed, remaining mute, not able to think of what to say to that… could all of this really be her fault? What had she done wrong? If she did things differently would everything be different, everything be _better_?

Her hazels shifted by Watanabe to a small infant that was sitting there on the ground, with piercing golden eyes and thick silver strands. She knew it was her son… but where had he come from?

"Sweetheart," she whispered as she took a step closer to him but he just started to cry, when she reached out to try and pick him up he only started to holler all the more, as if her hands were fire and would scold him if she was able to touch.

The more he cried the more the world around her seemed to shake as if it was all about to fall apart. In a flash the clouds began to allow lightening to fall to the ground and spark flames everywhere they touched, destroying what was left of the castle around them.

But all she could hear was the crying of her child…

"_Kagome_!"

All that consumed her was misery and the knowledge that he _hated_ her.

"_Kagome!_"

That this was all _her_ fault.

"Kagome!"

Her eyes shot open while her body jerked forward so that she was sitting up. Sitting up…? Hadn't she just been standing? She blinked some as she looked around - everything was different. She was once again in the forest, there was traces of the web that had wrapped around her days ago still on her, and a pair of arms wrapped around her.

Finally she looked up the red fabric to see a pair of golden globes staring at her, concern.

"Inuyasha…?"

"Kagome," he replied softly as he helped her to her feet, his gaze wandered away briefly to see Miroku and Sango coming towards them with a brown eyed boy by their side. A look of regret on the youngster's face.

"I'm so sorry I did that," he could hear Kohaku whisper to his sister who only hugged him more. "I don't know what came over me…"

"It's alright, you're safe now," she whispered back.

"You're alive," were the awestruck words that forced him to look back at his wife. Her eyes constantly scanned over him as if he was an illusion. "I… I…"

"Kagome," he drew out slowly before she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight - almost so tight that it choked him. "What's this for? I told you I'd come back, you're acting like you knew I'd die on that job. It wasn't anything big. _You're_ in trouble, idiot, what did I tell you about going out of the barrier? You're lucky I found you when I did or else that web thing might have suffocated you!"

"I'm so glad you're alive!" she cried as she held him tighter, closing her eyes.

It was all just a dream… just her worst nightmare coming to life in her mind.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

He held her throughout the night, hoping that by mourning she'd forget about the god-awful, real seeming, illusion she had been trapped in. She was a mess at first when he got her home finally, crying over how happy she was that he was alive. He was glad he was, too, even a little happy to see all those tears. It showed how much she cared.

But more than anything he regretted the pain that caused her. Holding her was the only thing that got her to calm down, lying down on their futon together was the only way that she'd close her eyes. Having his warmth around her was the only way she felt fine. He loved her like no one before her or after, he couldn't imagine what he would do if he thought she had died.

His world would end. There would be no point to life. He'd have nothing left to live for…

When she stirred within his arms he didn't think anything of it, she really never was one to stay in one place for a prolong period of time. She usually flip-flopped from one side to the other or moved her legs about throughout the night - sometimes kicking him in the process. Those were all forgivable offenses.

Her eyes fluttered open to see him staring at her she just smiled. It wasn't a dream, well the second part, he was alive. They were still together. He had kept his promise.

"Keep coming home to me," she whispered as she cuddled closer to him and shut her eyes once more, relishing in the feeling of having his arms around her.

"I will, always and forever, come home to you, Kagome," he promised.

_He'd always come home to me… whether he likes to or not. _

* * *

_**A/N**: I do so enjoy being threatened about making sure that there is a happy ending to this story "or else". I got a laugh out that, thanks :)_

_But I can't really say anything about the ending, where's the fun in that?_

_I'd also like to address what many seemed to misunderstand about the A/N in the last chapter. I **was not threatening **that I **would no longer update** if you **did not review**. I was fairly certain I made it pretty damn clear that **I will finish this story regardless**. I just like reviews, thoughtful, long, short, or simple ones. I don't get those who review merely when they have something to complain/critic about the story - which I don't mind, such is necessary sometimes, I just don't think that's the sole purpose of reviewing to me. But to each their own I suppose. I think reviewing proves readers like the story more than merely story altering it or something like that. _

_So please continue to enjoy, read, and review Damned Deed._


	31. Ruins Will Burn

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**3**_1: Ruins Will Burn**.**_ °•.  
{…}

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Two whole years. That was how old her son was… their son. It was a hard day when they realized that. When they realized how many days they had missed of his life, how many experiences, and all his firsts that they lost. Neither really had to speak about it, both knew how the other felt.

Empty. There was a place that would always be vacant in their hearts, in their lives, until they found their son again. It would only be filled, only warmed, when they could hold him and attempt to make up for all the lost time. But an attempt was all that it'd be. They could never fix everything.

"Inuyasha," she whispered while she looked over to her husband. It was a rainy day, as if the world was crying for their misfortune, so they didn't even bother to get out of bed yet even though it was well past noon. It was a chilly one anyway, so it made her feel better to lie under the sheets and cuddle up to his warmth. Soon winter would take the world.

"Kagome," he replied lazily while his gaze shifted from the ceiling to hers.

"Are you thinking what I am?"

Possibly. If she was lamenting over the fact that they'd probably never get their son back then yes but if she wasn't then he wasn't about to verbalize that. There was just an aching part of him, one that kept getting bigger and bigger, that felt as if they'd never get their son back.

His silence wasn't reassuring, so she just elaborated further, "we need to go look for another way to find our son."

Oh, yeah, that'd be a good thing to be thinking instead. More was at least a glimmer of hope in that idea instead of suffocating gloom like his. But he had known far more gloom in his life than hope… gods, how he wished that would change.

"But remember what the psychic said? We could go in search of another portal but it wouldn't align until the one right outside the barrier does," he reminded her as he got onto his side to look down on her. She frowned further.

"Then let's look for something that can _make_ the worlds align, I can't wait any longer… I want him back. I want him back _now_. I want to hold him in my arms," she wrapped them around herself and sighed. "What do you say?"

"Do you want me to go and you to stay?" he asked, since that had been their dilemma from the start. He didn't want to leave her unprotected at the village, she didn't want to worry about him wandering around alone. They hated the idea of being apart, since they were the only thing that they really had. Each other…

"No, I'll come with you," she suggested.

"Kagome… that's not safe. Naraku-"

"I don't care! You're really going to let him be the reason we never get our son back, Inuyasha?"

That stopped him before he sighed heavily and turned his gaze back up to the ceiling. No… and the gods knew how badly he wanted to murder that man-monster, rather-for taking Kikyou and his first child from him. He wasn't about to let him take Kagome or his second son, too.

"Alright…" Inuyasha whispered, "let's wait until the rain storm passes and start to gather our things and find a map. We'll figure out where to go and leave in a couple of days."

"Sounds good," she assured him as she sat up then got up to started towards the bathroom to throw up for the first time that day. The nausea just hit her all of a sudden, it wasn't the first time. All that week it had been bothering her.

"Before we leave you're going to Kaede to figure out what's wrong with you!" she heard Inuyasha shout. It was stupid. Kagome knew what was wrong. There were a lot of people throughout the village that were suffering from the stomach bug. It was something that would pass in just a couple of days, as it had for everyone else.

"I'm not as lucky as you," she countered simply as she walked out, after washing her mouth out thoroughly. "I get sick. I'm just a mortal."

"We aren't leaving until you're better," Inuyasha insisted. "So you just come back here and rest up, alright?"

"Alright," she whispered with a smile as she crawled back into the bed where he held the blanket open for her to get under it once more.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It was only because of her that they lingered longer by the well that refused to work for them. Usually, once they verified that it wouldn't let them through, he'd hastily get them back to behind the protection of the barrier but not today. Today she just wanted to let her hazels lock upon it for a while longer. It was so… horrific.

Too cruel that it refused to let them through but there wasn't anything she could do about it. In only a short while they'd be going off in search of another way to get through to their son, maybe another day or two since the stomach ailment that had been bothering her hadn't passed yet. Which was a bit strange, a week had gone by and it was still not letting up. Usually it only a couple of days for it to pass…

"Kagome," Inuyasha whispered to gain her weak attention, "let's go. Staring hopelessly at it won't make it open any quicker."

"I guess you're right," she muttered with a heavy sigh. Her husband reached out his hand for her to take but before she could even think to raise her own a gust of wind blew them apart, forcing him to slam against the ground to the far right and her to the left right by the hill that she began to roll down without being able to stop until she landed at the bottom with a bitter groan.

"Ow," she grumbled while she pushed herself off the muddied floor, fresh mud at that from all the rain, to look back up at the top of the hill to see Inuyasha unsheathe his sword and begin a dance of sorts with Kagura the wind youkai… which meant _Naraku_ was behind all this. Apparently lingering at the well extra that day was a bad idea on her part.

"Hello, human bitch," a gruff growl greeted her from behind. Quickly she leaped up and onto her feet to turn around and see a grotesquely white youkai-from head to toe, and a sickening smirk upon his lips as his crystal blue eyes shift about her. "Naraku requests your presence, I suggest you just submit or else I might have to slash up that pretty skin of yours."

As if to show how serious he was he pulled out a set of blades from his back. She hadn't thought to bring her bows and arrows since she was with Inuyasha, who always carried his sword at his waist and kept her close but when her eyes migrated back up to him it was clear he was still busy with Kagura who seemed to be able to fly out of the way of each of his attacks.

"Is that so…?" Kagome coaxed out as she looked back to the rather lanky youkai while she took a gradual set of steps backwards. "I think I'll refuse."

She couldn't see why Naraku would have even wanted her to be there anyway, was it merely because he was still infatuated with Kikyou and Kagome was her other? Probably… regardless, the thought of being around Naraku made her skin crawl with disgust.

"He gave me authorization to…" but his words seemed to trail off as his eyes shifted up and down her a couple of times, she took his silence as an opportunity to hop back a bit more until she felt herself pass through the barrier. Thankfully she had rolled down the hill close to it.

"Like I said, I think I'll pass on visiting that disgusting monster," Kagome kept up, "so you might as well leave."

The youkai remained mute for a while longer before he turned to look up at Kagura then back to Kagome. Finally he spoke again, "you have no idea what sort of trouble you are in now, bitch. You made your other's mistake, you're following exactly in her footsteps and the _exact same_ thing will happen to you as it did her."

_At the time I had no way of knowing what he was talking about… it wasn't until later that I discovered what that 'mistake' was or how Naraku planned to cause us the same pain he had Kikyou and Inuyasha previously. I swear, there's no one in either worlds that I detest more than him._

_There is no one that could be even a fragment as cruel as Naraku…_

She hadn't a clue what he was talking about while he called to Kagura then had the youkai swoop down to pick him up and allow them to fly away on her feather. Her hazels followed them only for a short while before they turned to Inuyasha who leaped down the hill to get into the barrier with her, without hesitation he pulled her into his arms.

"We need to be more careful, especially if we plan to go in search for another way to your world," Inuyasha said while she wrapped her arms around him as well. "We won't have the barrier to hide behind once we start our journey."

"I know," she whispered back.

"We'll need to make sure you have plenty of bows and arrows before we -" but he wasn't able to finish that thought before she pushed away from him and turned around to throw up once more. He wrinkled his noise at that and glanced away, thankful that whatever human illness that was bothering her couldn't affect him. There were some great advantages to being a hanyou and being immune to most mortal sickness was one of them.

"Sorry," she murmured as she whipped her mouth and looked back to him, "I don't know why this won't just pass like it has with everyone else…"

"I told you already to go see Kaede," he complained with narrowed eyes. He didn't like the old hag but she was the best healer in the village and could probably whip up some herbal remedy to make her feel better. She was always complaining about how much she hated to throw up, how nausea was the worst type of sickness for her.

"I thought I had it under control," she answered with a pout. She had been taking the same herbal remedy she had given to a third of the village and it had worked to make them feel better… "I'll go see her later tonight and see what she says."

"You better," he warned as he grabbed one of her hands to lead her back to their home. "That guy, what did he want?"

"To take me… away to Naraku."

He stiffened with anger at the very thought, had that been what Naraku wanted? To try and take Kagome…? What could he possibly want with her?

Why could that bastard just fight his own wars? Then Inuyasha could surely kill him, _finally_. There was very little else that he wanted than to end that lowlife's existence. That was the only way Kagome and he would ever find peace, after all.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Kagura, Kagerōmaru," Naraku began, trying to keep a steady voice though anger shook him, "you failed, _again._"

"Kagome managed to get behind the barrier before Kagerōmaru could snatch her," Kagura explained, though it wasn't necessary, she knew her master had been watching through the eyes of his disgusting little bugs or with the help of Kana's mirror. Still, she felt the need to put most of the blame on Kagerōmaru. He had the simple task, all he had to do was grab the mortal, Kagura was the one that had to keep Inuyasha occupied.

And that damned hanyou was only getting better with his sword… soon he might discover techniques that would be a true problem for them.

"Yes, I did notice that, Kagerōmaru, what is your excuse?" Naraku inquired as he turned his narrowed crimson eyes towards his newest incarnation. He had thought that perhaps he'd do better than Kagura and Kana who had failed him thus far but apparently not. It shouldn't have been hard to just grab the damn woman.

"She got behind the barrier quickly," Kagerōmaru explained, knowing full well that that wasn't a good excuse so he diverted his anger to something else. "I discovered something about her, though."

"What is that?" Naraku growled.

"She is pregnant," he stated simply and instantly he knew his master's anger was no longer focused on him. It was one of his skills to be able to read his enemy, to tell how strong their life-force was, how their powers worked before they even tried to use them and when he was examining Kagome he noticed something.

There was more than one life-force within her body. A very small one, almost nonexistent, was forming in the pit of her gut. She wasn't far along, she herself probably didn't even know that she was with child, but he was certain that was what it meant.

"Leave me," Naraku ordered. Without another word his servants were gone.

How… how did that damned hanyou Inuyasha constantly gain the things that he wanted? He somehow stole Kikyou's attention, somehow convinced the priestess to give up her post and marry him, somehow was allowed to defile and impregnate her. Kikyou was meant to be his to use as he felt necessary, _not Inuyasha's_. But she had been sullied, undesirable even, once he discovered that she was carrying the fucking other hanyou's child.

So he punished her by taking the child's life before it was even born. He taught her a lesson when she came to him finally to take her revenge for that, he killed her slowly. Without even touching her, without even leaving a mark. He had intended to make Inuyasha suffer with the knowledge that it was him that had done it but… it turned out, the bastard didn't even know of his existence let alone his crime.

He had always expected the bastard to try and come after him, to try and get revenge for all that he had taken from him but he hadn't… because that damned old hag Kaede and fucking Watanabe had intervened to hide the truth from Inuyasha. Apparently they had something of importance for Inuyasha to do and for a long while the hanyou seemed to disappear from this world.

Then he resurfaced… with Kagome, a girl that looked so much like Kikyou. One that he burned with desire for merely to replace that area that was left empty by her predecessor. Yet _again_ Inuyasha had managed to make the mortal fall in love with him, to marry him, and now even bear him a child?

_What the fuck _did Inuyasha have that allowed him to get every human that Naraku wished to taint? That bitch. That little whore. Kagome would regret her decision to allow herself to be violated by Inuyasha in such a way that made her unattractive. He no longer wanted to ravish her knowing that her womb would soon swell with a child of that fucking inu-hanyou.

There would never be a happily ever after for them. Naraku would make certain they never knew this child, that it died before birth, too. And this time Inuyasha would have to know it was by him. This time he would kill Kagome slowly _in front _of Inuyasha. It would not be able to be hidden from him.

And he would relish each and every moment of it.

Now… all he had to do was figure out how to accomplish all that he wanted to do. Black magic could be turned to again, he still had connections, and he could curse the child into a still birth as he had done before but he didn't really want to do the same thing twice. He could think of a more wicked punishment. Something far worse… surely his sick mind could come up with something.

Truly, he got shivers of delight from the thoughts of all that he was about to do. He would destroy them and their delusion of a happy life together. Inuyasha couldn't have what Naraku never could. He'd be damned, just like him.

Even if it was the last thing he did Naraku would make sure Inuyasha was miserably and that his attempt at a happy life would burn to nothing but ashes.

* * *

_**A/N**: Thank you for all the reviews. I really appreciate all of them and all that will continue to come. I also hope that you are continuing to enjoy the story even though certain things haven't happened yet that I know everyone really wants (like them getting their son back). I hope that no one thinks I'm dragging it out or something annoying like that. I promise it's all important to the plot.  
_

_I have a small favor to ask, go to my profile and take the poll. I'm considering discontinuing A Rose By Anything Other Name. I'm unsure of how to end that story, I don't have A Rose planned out like I do Damned Deed, and the interest in it seems to be all but dead. _

_Well, I hope you continue to review, continue to read, and continue to enjoy Damned Deed. Thank you.  
_


	32. Another Baby to Be

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**3**_2: Another Baby to Be**.**_ °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

When it was told her to her she could hardly believe it… it wasn't planned, they didn't mean for this to happen, but it was… how was she meant to feel? Happy, scared, excited? She was consumed by all of that and more as she walked home in silence, trying to grasp what Kaede had just confirmed.

"Ye are with child," Kaede had stated after a day or two of tests, "congratulations."

Was it really a 'congratulations' moment? Did she really want this, another child when she couldn't even have her first yet? And how were they meant to go in search of a way to find their son if she was pregnant…? Inuyasha surely would never let her leave the barrier now. Not that she blamed him.

Oh gods, how would he handle the news that he'd be a father-again? For the third time? The first two were unsuccessful, regrettably, but maybe this time would be different? This time they'd make sure of it. She prayed that was the truth at least. She couldn't lose this baby, too, she wouldn't know what she'd do if she did.

"Where've you been, wench?" Inuyasha inquired once she entered their home, he was lying lazily upon the ground with his eyes closed, "I'm starving."

He was more than capable of making his own meals but she didn't say that. She barely even heard him as she stared at the two doors across from her, one led to an empty room and the other to their bedroom. She supposed she knew what they'd do with the other one now…

"Kagome?" Inuyasha called out again as he opened his eyes and looked over to his wife, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered while her gaze slowly shifted to him as he sat up. Nothing was wrong. She could hardly say being pregnant was a bad thing… that she didn't want to have another child. She just didn't want to have one until she had her first one back, it wasn't planned. They didn't mean for this to happen… but she supposed they did have a lot of sex so, even with all the herbals she took to try and avoid getting knocked up, it was a bit surprising that it took so long for it to happen nevertheless.

"What'd Kaede say?" He kept up as he stood up to walk in front of her, the strange expression plastered across her face worried him… was it bad? Was she really sick? Gods, he didn't know what he'd do if he lost her. "Kagome, tell me, now."

She could tell from the dread in his voice that she was making him worry, which only made her frown. That wasn't her intention… "There is nothing wrong with me, Inuyasha."

"Obviously there is _something_," he grumbled, "you're throwing up all the time. That's not normal."

"I'm not sick," she kept up. It was just morning sickness, she supposed in hindsight she should have known that. It was just like last time… something that didn't always hit her in the morning. It bothered her most late in the evening, just like the first time she was pregnant.

At least this time it was the traditional way, at least she was married to him now.

"Then why the hell are you throwing up?" he grunted.

"Because… I'm pregnant."

And just like that, the world seemed to stop for him, his eyes grew wide as he lost the ability to breath and just stared at her. Neither of them had seen that coming, she was just as shocked as he was then when she was told. So she just gave him all the time he needed to process that knowledge.

Though… it took longer than she had thought, since she had the time to make him ramen before he finally budged again to look at her as she set two bowels down on the table.

"How…?"

"Seriously, Inuyasha?" Kagome questioned back rather harshly as she looked up to him. That was a dumb thing to ask. Obviously they knew how. They had sex all the time and that was, after all, how babies came to be.

He supposed she had a point… it wasn't like he didn't know in the back of his head every time he was intimate with his wife he could be sowing the seeds for another child. For some reason, he just didn't think it'd happen.

"We can't leave now, we'll have to stay here," he stated as he sat down at the table, as she did the same. His golden gaze was fixated upon her instead of his food, though. "Naraku wants you and I'm not going to let him get you, especially now. The safest place in the world for you and… and our child is here."

"So… will you be leaving then?" she asked with a frown. Did he still want to go in search of a new way to find their son? A part of her wanted him to. A part begged for him to but another one didn't want him to leave. Didn't want to have to worry about him constantly…

"No," he muttered, "I can't leave you unprotected while you're pregnant. We'll have to just… hope the well starts to work. You can't leave the protection of the barrier until you have the child, do you understand, Kagome? Not even to check the well."

At first she parted her lips to protest but she knew better. They had already been attacked once while checking the well… it could easily happen again and if she was hurt it'd be their child that suffered, too. So, reluctantly, she said, "alright."

"I'll check the well every day," he asserted.

"Alright… but," she knew she shouldn't really worry about it happening-instead it should be something she looked forward to but… "what if something happens? Like the well works and your able to get to our son but not to get home to me and…" she paused as she placed her hand on her still flat stomach, "our new child on this side?"

That just seemed like something that the cruel fates would allow and from the way her proposal silenced him she supposed he had the same worry. For a while he just pressed his lips together before parting them to say, "it's you to you. If you want me to not check in case that happens and stay her with you until our baby is born then I'll do that. If you want me to check with the chance of me not coming back then I'll do that, too."

"That's not fair," she insisted instantly, "you can't put that type of pressure on me."

"You're the pregnant one and I'll do anything you want me to from this moment forward."

That was sweet, the very thought warmed her heart, but still… to decide that all on her own?

How could she say anything else but, "please check the well, Inuyasha."

_I could hardly give up on my first son merely because we were having another child. At the time I thought if I lost Inuyasha because of that so be it… I guess, in a way, I did lose him because of it. I can't explain how complicated we are now. We love each other, I have nothing but love and respect for him, but he hasn't any respect for me. He acts as if he does._

_But he's resentful now…_

_I miss him now, even though he's here with me because he feels obligated to be. _

_I missed him each time he went to check the well… and I feared I wouldn't see him again. That he'd make his way through the well and I'd be left to raise our child alone. I'm not so sure how well I'd do as a single mother._

_But I never had to worry about that problem…_

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"That's great, Kagome!" Sango declared as soon as she heard the news, she even placed her cup of tea down so she could lean over to the woman sitting next to her and give her a quick hug. But something in that moment became very apparent to her in that moment. "It's great… isn't it? I know it wasn't planned but you two would make great parents… aren't you happy?"

"It's still setting in for me, I still can't believe it completely," Kagome began to explain while her hazels shifted to her warm cup of tea - a necessity with the chill that had begun to fill the air. "I'm happy, of course, because we get to have a chance to finally have a child of our own, one that we can actually have. This one is ours, we didn't plan to have it for any reason like the last time… and I know we'd make good parents."

"Then what is it?"

Kagome pressed her lips together before sighing then saying, "well, you know Inuyasha and I were planning to leave the village in search of a way to get our son back, right?"

Sango nodded, "oh… is that it, is Inuyasha still going? I can't imagine he'd actually leave you alone right now of all times."

"That's exactly it, he wouldn't, we're staying here together. Being pregnant really puts a damper in getting our son back… now we're left to just wait for the well to work again. I'm scared of…" she pursued her lips as she placed a hand on her stomach, "losing this one, too."

"Inuyasha won't let that happen," Sango assured her then reached out to wrap her hand around one of Kagome's. "He'll never let anything harm you or your child. But it's a common fear, I know every time I was pregnant I was worried that something might happen. Like, gods forbid, I lost the child or there was something wrong with the birth. Kaede, I'm sure, will be the one delivering the child. Right?"

"Yes, of course," Kagome didn't know of anyone else that she'd rather do that deed than her mentor though she was fairly certain Inuyasha still held a rather large grudge towards her. Even he, probably, knew that she was the best and if they wanted there to be no problem then it was Kaede they needed.

"Kaede is the best," Sango stated with a nod of her head, "so there won't be any problems during delivery. You really don't have to worry about anything. I know you, you'll take the proper herbs to stay healthy during the pregnancy and do everything in your power to protect your baby. There's no need to worry."

"But… there's still Naraku to worry about," she muttered low enough that she was certain those across the room from them wouldn't hear. Her hazels shifted from her friend to Kohaku. His memories were fuzzy of what had happened since the village that he had been staying at disappeared but what they did know was whatever mind control had affected Kohaku had been done by Naraku. Since Sango broke him from the spell he had been acting normal, happily playing with his nieces and nephews.

"Only if you go outside the barrier," Sango reminded. They were all safe from the hell that was raging outside of it as long as they were in. It was easy to forget about the chaos of the world outside of it… but that was fine by her. Her family was safe, that's what was important.

"Which I'm not allowed to do anymore," she noted. Was she resentful towards Inuyasha for making her agree to that? No. She knew he only forced that agreement on her for her and their child's benefit. It would be safest inside the barrier and she had to do what was best for her child.

Though… maybe it'd be best for her other if she went to the well? She sighed at the thought. There was one thing that Higurashi Kagome could say about her life, it was far from simple.

"Maybe you'll have a girl," Sango taunted with a smile, "and her and Masaaki will get married."

"Wouldn't that be great?" Kagome laughed lightly, after all, there'd be something close to a three year age gap between the two. That was hardly even noticeable. "But then again, if we had a girl, I really doubt Inuyasha would let a boy ever touch her."

"True, true, someone would have to be very determined to go up against him," Sango said with a smile as she turned her attention over to her brother who was helping Masaaki walk about.

_I knew Sango had her equal share of problems, as well. After all, she had a rather large family and a husband with a cursed hand. But she was always good about putting on a strong face for her family. That was a trait I learned from her, how to smile as if there had never been a more beautiful day while your heart was breaking. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

He was going to be a father… again. _Again. _He had already had two children, one a still birth, one lost in another world. Yet he was going to have a third…? He didn't know how well he could handle that. He had _no idea_ what he'd do if something happened this time around.

Really, he couldn't even think about that. His heart clenched, his breath ceased, every time that the thought of all that could go wrong surfaced. Kagome was his world now, if something were to happen to her like it did Kikyou… he'd be done. There simply wasn't a way he could go on after that.

Black magic had gotten in the way the last time he had a child in his world… he didn't know how to counter that. How to protect his future child and Kagome from _that_ - from _Naraku_. That damned bastard. What the fuck did he do wrong that made him deserve dealing with that horrible hanyou? Had he been horrible in some past life?

Why did that bastard have to tear a gap in the worlds and force them to collide, why did he have to become obsessed with Kikyou, why now Kagome…?

Why couldn't he just kill Naraku and rid him and his family from that worry?

He couldn't really share such worries with Kagome in fear of causing her more concern than necessary. For his wife he had to stay strong, pretend as if he was happy about having another child instead of worried out of his mind. Was he happy…? In a way, yes, but he wasn't ready to have another child. The first time around - with Kikyou - she had wanted children so after they got married whenever they had sex it was with that goal. He didn't know whether he really wanted any, but to please Kikyou he would.

Then it happened, she got pregnant, and he thought that he'd be happy with that. He could have a family… a place where he belonged in the world. But he lost them both instead.

It was only because of what Watanabe told him about the other world that he managed to get through that. The second time - with Kagome - he had wanted to have a child with her to replace the one he had lost. He hadn't really thought much about it being _Kagome_ instead of _Kikyou_. Then he got to know her… and got flung back to his world with her but _without_ their child.

Now, they were married, and she was accidently pregnant.

He wasn't ready to be a father again. In a perfect world they'd have their son back by now, reconnect with him, and _then_ have another. Gods… would he even make a good father? He doubted it. Kagome would make a beautiful mother, nurturing, perfect surely. She could probably make up for all the faults he'd have. With her by his side he could fumble through fatherhood.

But still, he _really_ wanted his son back - equally to Kagome.

His world wasn't perfect though so he would just have to deal with imperfection.

"Inuyasha," caught his attention, begrudgingly, as he turned to look at Kaede. The last thing he wanted to deal with was _her_. The damned old hag had lied to him for years about what had really happened to his first wife. He didn't even say a word to her so she spoke more, "I have something that I think Kagome should begin to wear."

He just cocked a brow at that as Kaede held out a bracelet that was made of what seemed like brown leather and a red thread along with a couple of very small black beads. Cautiously he reached out and took it, "why?"

"It wards off black magic," she explained, instantly his attention returned to her. "It does not work forever, but it will for at least a year, which should be more than enough for the duration of her pregnancy. I have yet to see her today so I assumed ye would not have a problem giving it to her."

"Thank you," he whispered as he closed the bracelet in his fist. It wasn't enough to make him forgive Kaede but it was a start. "I appreciate it, Kaede."

The old lady merely nodded her head before she started her way to her hut.

At least that was one thing that wouldn't be a problem… but he still had a long list of other things to worry about. This time he swore it'd be different.

This time he wouldn't fail his wife or child. That's what he kept telling himself… maybe he'd eventually even believe it.

* * *

**A/N**:_Really, thank you for the reviews I appreciate every single one of them! Large and small, all are appreciated. I hope you continue to enjoy the story. _

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	33. Poisoned Pregnancy

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter_ **3**_3_:_ Poisoned Pregnancy_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Another child… they were going to have another child. This one unplanned, unlike the last one, but this time it was going to be all theirs. If they got to have the child, at least that's how Inuyasha's mind continuously worked. He knew he shouldn't, he knew he had to think positively as Kagome kept telling him but it was so hard.

He didn't want to get his hopes up again only to have them squashed, he couldn't take that. Gods… he had no idea what he would do if something happened to the child this time around.

"But everything is going perfectly fine so far," Kagome said to gain his surprised attention. His golden gaze glided away from the setting sun to the women in his arms who was looking at him curiously. He hadn't said that aloud, right? Sometimes he thought she could read his mind. Or maybe he just had dread and worry written across his face too clearly.

To emphasize her point, she took one of his hands and slid it down to cover her small bump. The one that only the two of them could really tell was there, everyone else was unaware that the newlyweds were expecting. Kaede, Miroku, and Sango were the only ones in the know.

No one else in the village really mattered, so they didn't plan on announcing it. It would be obvious enough in the not too distant future that they were going to have a kid. Their first, the village would think.

"When we get our son back," Kagome began, because they would get their son back, "what are we going to tell people?"

"I don't know," Inuyasha muttered while he rubbed his hand over her stomach, it gave him some comfort to know that his child was right there. "I don't really care what the townspeople think."

"Neither do I," but she did care how they'd treat him. She didn't want him being shunned for happening to be a child born out of wedlock. Explaining the situation would be impossible…

_But that was a problem that I really didn't need to concern myself with in hindsight. And that's my fault… all my fault. _

"I'm excited," Kagome decided rather giddily as she placed her hands on top of Inuyasha's larger one. She wasn't going to worry about all the what ifs, if she did then she'd just go mad. Instead, she was just going to focus on the child growing within her, the fact that they would have him or her and nothing would get in their way this time. That the very first thing she'd do is hold her child.

"Mm-hm," Inuyasha answered, it wasn't really a 'me, too' or 'no, I'm not' but something in between and for the time being that was all he could really muster up. Was he excited? No, not really. He couldn't get himself in that mindset yet. He wanted the child, he wanted to make sure nothing happened to him or her like it did his last two tries, and he wanted Kagome to be happy and safe, too.

He would make sure of that. If he had to learn to fake joy, excitement or anything else to make it seem like he wasn't worried about all the what ifs that could happen to her and the child then he would. For her, the love of his life, he'd figure out how to do anything. She was his wife, his responsibility was to make sure that she was content and secure.

His mind shifted elsewhere when he felt a prick on his neck, he slapped it and looked down to see a flattened flee float to the ground. Narrowed eyes fixated on the flee while he popped himself back into shape. The little flee bounced about to look up at the two.

"Mi'lord! I have come to congratulate you!" Myoga proclaimed.

"Who told you?" Inuyasha inquired with a lifted brow, how could Myoga find out when he was often so far away that Kagome was with child?

"Told me?" Myoga inquired with a lifted brow.

"That Kagome's with child," Inuyasha stated, obviously that was what he was there to congratulate him about, even though he didn't feel like he deserved that. Once the child was in the world, safe and sound, then he would welcome that but… not yet. Not so early in the pregnancy when something could easily go wrong.

"Oh, mi'lord, that is even better news!" Myoga asserted while he bounced about with joy, "I had no idea! I was merely coming to give you a belated congratulation on your wedding!"

"Inuyasha," Kagome whispered with a shake of her head, he was always getting ahead of himself. Though, she didn't mind that Myoga knew. He was something like a serf to Inuyasha, so it wasn't like the loyal flee would go and do something that would put either of them at risk.

"Oh," Inuyasha muttered, "thanks. Don't tell anyone else about Kagome being with child, alright? It's pretty early on so we don't want everyone to know yet."

"Of course, mi'lord, I won't tell a soul!" Myoga assured him, "this is such great news."

"Yeah," Inuyasha drew out, "so, Myoga, how long do you plan to stay or are you just passing through?"

"I plan to stay in the town for a couple days," he answered.

"You can stay with us," Kagome said, they had an extra room that she soon hoped to turn into their child's bedroom.

"You are so kind, mi'lady!" Myoga stated with such joy, it was a small gesture but one Inuyasha nearly never offered mostly because he was too oblivious to realize he had to ask for his serf to stay there. "But are you alright with that, mi'lord?"

"Yeah, why not?" it wasn't as if Myoga took up a lot of space, he was just a speck of a creature. He didn't need anything more than a feather or something to sleep on and they did have plenty of room in their home for the time being for a guest.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Five steps away from the barrier, big steps at that, that was exactly where Kagome had to stand every day as Inuyasha walked through it to go check on the well. Thus far, they had gone usually around three times a day, after every meal. Her stomach always felt far more queasy while she watched him walk up the hill. Thousands of thoughts, most unpleasant ones, wondered through her head in those moments.

_I always felt like I was either going to faint or throw up while he was away… a part of me, most of me, was so scared that he'd go through the well and I would never get him back. That I'd have to raise our child on my own and never see my husband or son again. Again, that was another worry I never had to concern myself with._

_As always, Inuyasha came home to him. I don't know why, I stopped making him happy a long time ago._

Sometimes she'd count the clouds in the sky while she waited, trying to keep her mind off of how long it took him, or the blades of grass, or she'd just count and see how high she could get before she saw him again. There were twenty-four clouds in the sky that day chilly day before she saw him start his way back down the hill. He didn't have to shake his head like he always did to tell her it wasn't working, she could gather as much from just seeing him.

_I'm probably an awful mother, because I was always happier to see him come back than I was disappointed…_

He stopped swiftly midway down the hill, his ears perking up, his golden gaze glancing around while he grabbed his sword. Instantly she knew something was wrong, but before she could react to it the nearly purely white demon from weeks prior appeared to slice at him with his sword. Inuyasha unsheathed his to start to clash back.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome called out and started running forward before she stopped sharply to stay within the barrier. She couldn't go out… she promised him she wouldn't and really she'd just be a burden to him so she turned around and began to run home to get her bow and arrows before returning to see that they were no longer in sight of the barrier. If she had to guess he had led him into the forest, which would be an advantage to Inuyasha since he knew the area so well.

Still… every bit of her wanted to rush out and find him to make sure that he was alright. What if something was happening to him, what if he needed her help? She ran along the barrier to the part that was up next to the forest but she still could not see a thing.

"Inuyasha?" She screamed in hopes of hearing anything in return yet there was nothing.

"He won't be back for some time," a squeaky voice proclaimed to gain her attention. On the opposite side of the barrier was a small man with big eyes hidden in white with a wicker box in his hands. His aura was horrific, certain he was evil enough that he could not enter the barrier so she was sure she was safe on her side.

Until she wasn't… because he walked right through it to open up the box and let the murky mist within it wafted out to wrap around her. She dropped her bow while she covered her nose and mouth with one hand and grab her burning throat with her other as she tried to step out of the poison but when she tried to move she only found herself falling on the ground. Her whole body began to feel numb, from the tip of her toes up so that she couldn't even crawl.

Then the coughing began. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't find fresh air to suck in, everything began to hurt, particularly her lungs. Though it had only been a couple of seconds it felt like an hour… before everything went to black.

The little white poison keeper began to laugh lightly at the sight, he had succeeded where the demons Naraku had created for just this purpose had failed. Him, a mere mortal, which was exactly why he could cross through the barrier where his demons could not. It only kept ill willed _demons_ out, not ill willed humans. With this success, he could get his life back completely.

That was, until a sword slashed through his body to split him in half and end his second chance. Inuyasha sheathed his sword then to kick away the box and pick up his passed out wife and rush her back to his place. Of course.. .of course something like _this_ had to happen! Why would he think otherwise?

He had gotten distracted by that fucking white demon and left Kagome exposed. That little thing smelled like a human, so that had to be how he got through the barrier. Fucking Naraku finally figured out he needed to recruit humans to hurt them? _Damn it all_, what the fuck did they do that earned Naraku's severe intention?

_Why_ was he doing this?

"Myoga!" Inuyasha called out as he set Kagome down in their futon, "come here, quickly!"

"Yes, mi'lord?" Myoga inquired as he hopped in but once he took a sniff of the air and saw Kagome unconscious she figured out what needed to be done so he stuck his nose into her neck and began to suck the poison out.

"Shit," Inuyasha cursed softly while he watched the scene in front of him. Even _if_ it worked… and Kagome was fine what about their baby? Did the poison hurt it, kill it even? Gods, the way his heart clenched together was enough to make him feel as if he was about to die.

The bigger Myoga got the easier it was for Inuyasha to breathe again until the flee popped off of his wife and began to roll upon the floor.

"Did you get all the poison?"

"I believe so," Myoga answered, "but she will need to rest longer."

"Right," he muttered while he reached out to take one of Kagome's hands and hold it tight. He wanted to stay close to her, not to leave her alone again, but Kaede needed to be summoned and he couldn't ask Myoga to go get her since he could barely move. "I'll be right back."

He wasn't able to do more than just stand before her noticing Kagome stir some, groan, and part her eyelids slightly. Instantly he was back on his knees next to her, grabbing her hand, "Kagome?"

"Inu… yasha?" she whispered while she looked up to him.

"Just rest, alright?" he requested while he sat down next to her, "I'll be right here."

He could always just got get Kaede in a little while…

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

How the hell was he meant to keep still while his wife was getting examined by Kaede? He had been asked to leave the room and though he didn't want to he did. He found himself just walking around in a circle again and again, trying to hear what Kaede was doing but they were talking so he had no idea what was going on. Gods… what if she came out and said that they lost the baby?

Shit, fuck, _damn it_, why did he leave her unattended? Now she wasn't even safe _inside_ the barrier! What was he to do, how the hell was he going to protect her properly?

"Inuyasha," he finally heard Kaede call out, eagerly he turned on his heels and rushed into their bedroom to kneel down next to his sitting wife. Swiftly, Kagome's soft hands found their way into his so that she could grasp them tightly for some form of comfort. That hardly made him feel better… surely something wasn't right if her face was contorted into such concern.

Fuck, he didn't know if he wanted to hear what Kaede had to say now… but he still swallowed back the fear and looked from his worried wife to the elder healer who cracked a bit every time she took a step.

"Kagome will be fine," Kaede announced, "thanks to the flee demon Myoga, he was able to suck out most of the poison. I recommend ye do little activities for the rest of the week, child. Ye need your rest after everything that had happened."

"And our child?" Kagome inquired weakly, squeezing her husband's hands tighter all the while.

"Everything appears to be fine for now."

"But you can't be sure, can you?" Inuyasha asked, he could feel Kagome dig her nails into his skin for that. Why would he ruin her momentary happiness to ask such a cynical question? He had to, that's why. He didn't want to think that everything was fine if there was a possibility that something wasn't.

"Aye," Kaede admitted with a small nod of her head, "unfortunate that is true. We will have to wait and see, make sure that the child is growing, and then we will know for certain once the child arrives."

"Thank you for everything," Kagome said with a small smile, the old lady bowed her head to the both of them before taking her leave. "Inuyasha, everything is going to be okay."

_But I only said that because I _had_ to think positively. What could I do but that…? I had to hope that my baby would be fine. That everything would magically get better. Sometimes, I fooled myself to believe all that, too._

"I'll never allow you out of my sight again," Inuyasha insisted while he took her into his arms entirely so that he could hold her against his body. "Never again, do you understand, Kagome?"

"Mm-hm," at the time it sounded nice. In his arms, she felt safer than ever before. Through such trying times as the ones they were facing, she knew that would be one of her havens.

* * *

**A/N**:_ Thank you for your reviews, please continue to review and enjoy the story. I  
_

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	34. Room for Worry

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter_ **3**_4:_ _Room for Worry**.**_ °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_Time began to tick away as it always does, regardless if anyone wants it to or not. It always goes at its own pace, too, even if you want it to go quicker or slower. Sometimes I wish it would speed up, other times I wish it would slow down, but most of the time I wish I could turn it back. I catch myself longing to change what I did…_

_But I can't, and even if I could I wouldn't. Inuyasha might forever resent me, stop loving me as much as he once did, but I had to do what I did. I could say I regret it, and I do, but it's complicated… it was what needed to be done._

_I know that makes me a bad person but what else _could_ I have done?_

Since her gut continued to grow she felt that things were alright, that they would certainly see their child, and that all would be alright. She had to keep telling herself that, there was no point in thinking hopelessly. Inuyasha still had plenty of worries but he kept them on the inside to make her feel better, but it was apparent in the way that he truly _never let_ her out of his sight.

If she wanted to visit Sango then he'd go, too. If she needed to see Kaede then he'd take her. If he was offered a job to go away with Miroku he'd pass it up. He had saved up a lot from all his years of helping Miroku and not having anything to spend what he got on so he didn't feel he needed to go.

Certainly he had to sleep at some point, she just never saw him doing it anymore, he'd always sit up next to her with his hand on his sword until she fell asleep and he was always awake before she was. Ever since that human had poisoned her he was concerned that Naraku would try something like that. She wasn't even allowed to come near the barrier anymore, she had to stay with Miroku and Sango whenever he went to check the well. That was literally the only time he didn't have his eyes on her.

"Come on, Inuyasha, please?" Kagome even pouted to try and win him over while she leaned against the doorway to what was currently their guestroom. It should be there nursery, to emphasize that point she placed both of her hands on her rounded stomach. "It needs to get done."

"And it will, eventually," he countered sternly. In order to avoid seeing her pout he didn't even bother to look at her, he hadn't even gotten up from the dinner table. It was an annoying conversation that Kagome continued to bring up lately.

"When is eventually, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked with a tilt of her head. It'd still be a while before the child arrived but she would like to have a room ready for when she came. Yes, she. Kagome had no idea why but she was certain she was going to have a daughter. Inuyasha, on the other hand, said that they'd be having another son. "We could keep it gender neutral, since we really don't know what we are going to have."

"Kagome," Inuyasha snapped, finally looking over to her with narrowed eyes, "I said no. We're not doing it yet, got it?"

"Why are you being so mean about this?"

"Why are you always arguing with me?" he retorted, "it's my house, I'm your husband, you should listen to me every once and a while. I am _not_ doing it yet and that's that, now leave it _alone_."

She shook her head while she rolled her eyes. It was rare for him to pull the 'I'm the man, you're the woman, be submissive already' card to try and get her to be obedient. In response to that she walked away and out of the house to hurry along her way to the Higurashi household. It was a good thing it was close and she caught Inuyasha off guard with her leave or else he'd have stopped her.

After all, she could never be out of his sight.

"Hello, sweetheart," her other-mother greeted while she let Kagome in so that they could go into the kitchen and have some tea together. "So, what's wrong?"

"Is it that obvious?" she asked with a sheepish smile as she sat down. The woman just nodded with her usual warm, reassuring smile, to encourage to tell her what was wrong. "Inuyasha is being impossible."

"How is that new?" she joked as she raised her tea to her lips to take a sip. "He generally is impossible but you knew that before you married him."

"Yeah," she muttered, "but he refuses to get a room ready for our baby. We got in a fight about it even and he said that since he is my _husband_ that I _have_ to listen to him. He's being weird about it, mean even. I don't understand."

"I see," she hummed as she sat her cup down. "It will still be a while before you have the baby, won't it?"

"Well, yes, but I just want it to get started. I didn't say that he had to finish it anytime soon. He won't even hear of it." Inuyasha was a stubborn bastard sometimes but this was different, he wasn't so cruel usually. He just acted childish, refusing to change his mind, but this time… she didn't know why but it seemed so different. And it worried her.

"You said that he doesn't seem to sleep much the other day, right?" The older lady waited to get a nod of confirmation, "maybe he's just tired and that's why. I don't think he means to be spiteful or anything. You know how much he loves you."

"I know," she never doubted that. And she supposed if she stopped to think about it, it had been a long time since she had seen him sleep. Maybe he foul mood was merely because he was tired. That was why she let the conversation shift to other things for a while before she became too tired to go on so she bid her goodnight and got up to leave.

As soon as she got outside she jumped from someone landing in front of her. Her hand instantly flew up to cover her increasing heart rate until it set that it was just Inuyasha. "You scared me," she said while her gaze shifted up to the roof where he must have been, "how long were you there?"

"The whole time you were in there," he asserted as if that was a stupid question.

"You're in a terrible mood, I don't want to have to deal with it," she retorted with a wave of her hand as she walked by him to go back to their room.

"Kagome," he complained while he started after her.

"I'm the pregnant one, _I _get to be moody, not you," she insisted while she opened the door only to let it shut before he could get in. He just groaned then opened it to step in and see her going into their bedroom.

"Fine, I'm sorry!" he shouted but the truth was he hardly meant it.

And somehow she seemed to know it, since the only thing he heard in reply was her screaming back, "no you aren't!"

Being married… could be so annoying sometimes.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Every time she looked over her shoulder she could see him. He followed her _everywhere_, never let her out of his sight. She knew he only did that out of concern but… it was annoying. They needed time apart. However the only time they got was when he went to check on the well and instead of enjoying the freedom she just felt worried… what if something happened? What if he didn't come home?

Then he was back and she remembered how annoying it was to be around her the entire day, every day, and then all night long, too. There was always the constant fight of getting a room ready for their child, too. He kept saying he didn't want to deal with that yet and she kept saying she wanted him to just _start_. They needed to get the baby things, but he never wanted to buy anything.

It was driving her crazy and even though he was a dense dimwitted man sometimes he realized that he was pushing his limit with her. So he withdrew most of the things he wanted to say often, to try and avoid annoying her further… but she couldn't even bathe alone, which often annoyed her. There were some things a woman wanted to do alone.

But that time he joined her in the hot wooden tub to hold her in his arms, allowing her to relax against his body. It was nice… and for a short while she let the steam elevate all her worries and everything he had done to annoy her. She shut her eyes as she wrapped her arms around one of his while one of his hands rested on her protruding stomach.

"I love you," he proclaimed, he probably didn't say it as often as he should and figured at least saying it would calm her some. Which it did… she knew he loved her, that wasn't the question.

"Why are you so against preparing things for our baby?" That was what had been bothering her, what was the root of all their sudden problems. It didn't make sense to her, wouldn't it be easier to get things ready gradually so that they wouldn't have to put everything together at the last moment?

He let out a heavy breath, "Kagome… I just can't. Our baby will be sleeping in a cradle in our room for a while after he's born, once he is a couple months old we'll move him into his own room. I'll have the room ready by then, I promise. I just can't do it yet."

"Why?" she whined lightly while she pried open her eyes to look up at him.

"Kagome…"

"No, don't just _Kagome_ me and try to avoid the conversation. Inuyasha, we're having a child together-"

"I'm aware of that," he grumbled.

"So we need to develop better communication skills," she stated sharply, "now tell me why you don't want to get a room ready."

"I," he started slowly before sighing, "I can't. Me and… Kikyou had a room all ready for our son and… he never got to see it. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done taking that room apart. I know we need to think positively and all but… I can't do that again. I can't get a room together only to take it apart. Please, Kagome, let's just do this one thing my way. Besides, if we wait until he's born then we can confirm it's a boy and get boyish things for him."

"It's a girl," she countered softly. She had never thought about that… it was true she didn't want to think that anything would happen to this child but it _could_. The poison might have affected her in a way they couldn't be sure of yet. "Alright, Inuyasha, I understand," she finally said as she held him tighter, "I won't bother you about it anymore."

"Thank you," he answered softly then nuzzled his nose into her wet hair. "I'm… I'm sure everything is going to be completely fine, Kagome, that this isn't necessary. We're going to have this child and nothing is going to get in our way it's just… yeah."

"Of course, everything is going to be perfectly fine," she concurred while she kissed his skin lightly.

_Perfectly fine… in the end nothing was perfectly fine. Just fine, acceptable, not perfect. I still have him, he still comes home to me, still pretends like he loves me, still seems to enjoy having sex but he has her. And she's the one that really makes him smile now. The one he really loves. The one he lives for… not me. _

_But he'd never leave me, just like I'd never leave him. Sometimes we have flashes of the way things used to be but that's all it is. A flash. _

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Every night he'd stay awake, sitting with his sword, watchful over the scene around him. He wouldn't let someone sneak in while they slept to try and take his wife's life or their child's. If one human was willing to try and kill her for Naraku then surely he could convince another to try and do the same. So he just sat there, with his back to the wall, half the time watching Kagome sleep, the other half staring out the window to gage how late it was…

That night his wife didn't seem to sleep well, she kept shifting from one side to the other. She had always loved to lay on her stomach and sleep that way but now that her stomach was growing bigger she couldn't. Finally she ended up on her left side and opened her eyes to look around until she saw her husband. A deep frown on her face.

"Having trouble sleeping?" he guessed.

"Yeah," she grumbled while she pulled the covers up more, shivering some in the process. "I'm cold."

"Here," he offered as he began to take off his robe but he didn't get fair before she stopped him.

"No, come lie down with me," she ordered instead as she raised the sheets up. "Your body heat will be better."

"Kagome," he muttered. If he lied down it'd be harder to unsheathe his sword if something happened.

"Don't _Kagome_ me," she snapped with narrowed eyes, "if you don't lie down and hold me I'll get sick."

"You don't know that," he asserted softly.

"It's your job as my husband and the father of my baby to make sure we're both safe, me getting sick would be bad," she insisted. That was the exact way she had to word such things to get him to finally give in and set his sword to the side of the futon before he crawled into bed with her and wrapped his arms around her body to pull her close.

"Happy now?"

"Very," she assured him with a grand smile. "Now go to sleep for once."

"I sleep," he bickered, even a hanyou like him had to sleep. He just did it as little as possible, that's all…

"You don't sleep enough," she countered while she rolled onto her other side so her back was against his stomach. She only smiled more when she felt his hand wander to her growing gut. "You won't get to sleep much when our daughter's here. So you should really try to get as much in as possible."

"Or, you could think of it as practice for when the baby's here," he suggested.

"How about this? Let's not do that. Let's think about it this way, I'm the pregnant one so you have to do what I say. And I say you should go to sleep for once," she stated simply as she shut her eyes once more. She could easily fall asleep now that he was lying next to her and holding her close.

"You're impossible," Inuyasha muttered as he inhaled to take in her scent and shut his eyes some. His lids were awfully heavy. "But I guess… with that logic, how can I say no?"

"You can't," she assured him. "You're always so worried lately because ill-willed humans can get through the barrier, right?"

"Obviously," he muttered back. "I wish that could be fixed…"

"To make the barrier as it is, someone had to sacrifice his life. When I spoke to Kaede-sama about it she said that her mentor, the one who made the barrier, didn't think to keep out ill-willed humans. This was a human village after all, and he was only trying to protect the humans from any demons that might want to harm them," explained Kagome while she began to brush her fingertips across his hand. "I suppose that makes sense, huh?"

"Humans are stupid," Inuyasha replied, his tone implicated he was on the edge of falling asleep so she just smiled. "You always worry about what the big bad demons are going to do, and don't realize the harm that other humans can inflict on each other."

"I suppose you're right," she softly answered before allowing their conversation to die. It took only a short while for both to fall asleep, for the first time in a long while that they were sleeping side-by-side. Really, she couldn't be happier in moments like those.

* * *

_**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! As always I really, really, really appreciate them all! I hope you continue to enjoy Damned Deed.  
**_


	35. Attempt at Perfection & Protection

**{**•** D**amned **D**eed •**}  
**.•°.**C**hapter **3**5: Attempt at Perfection & Protection**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Minute moans escaped her parted lips often throughout their heated session. A rising aching need quickened in both of them. Gently, his thrusts were working to deepen that desire for a release. The one that was in reach, yet tauntingly far away at the same time.

Her arms were on the brink of giving out on her, allowing her to fall instead of keeping her propped up, just as her knees felt wanton. Her husband's hands upon her hips, though, kept that from being a problem. He held her up as he continued his powerful pounds into her moist center.

His breaths got shorter and quicker as he felt himself reaching his limit. There was no way he could hold back once she cried out _his_ name before climaxing, milking him along to follow. Their bodies quickly found the comfort of their futon to collapse upon as they fell back down into reality and caught their breath.

A smile laced up Kagome's lips as she turned on her side to see her still flustered husband, "that was…"

He just nodded, he knew. At first, he honestly thought it odd to continue to have sex after she was pregnant and showing but… she still had needs, ones that got intensified at times during the pregnancy, and it was his job as her husband to satisfy her. It wasn't that he didn't find her attractive anymore. To him, she was beautiful, maybe even more so than before. It was just the notion of having sex as her womb swelled with their growing child that seemed odd to him…

But that was the important thing, their child was still growing. He had to hope that meant the poison didn't affect him. That when he was born he'd be completely healthy. Gods, he had no idea what he'd do if something were to happen this time around... he'd probably just die.

"I think she kicked," Kagome declared as she placed her hands on her stomach. Instantly, Inuyasha propped himself up on an arm to look over her.

"Really?" He questioned with a lifted brow, "Are you sure?"

"It was faint, but I think so," she answered as she took his hands to place them where she thought she felt the kick. Yet, after a while there was nothing. "Maybe it was nothing. It was faint."

"Oh," he muttered back. If there was kicking then he'd feel a whole lot better. Then their child would obviously have some sort of strength, be sort of alright at least. Hopefully… maybe.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too," he answered.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It was exactly where she wasn't supposed to go… Especially when she was out of Inuyasha's sight but she wanted to stretch her legs and she did get ever so anxious when he was gone. Walking along just within the barrier made her feel closer to him each time he checked on the well. Sango and Miroku had their hands full with their children at the moment so neither even really noticed her slip away.

She was always _so_ worried that he wouldn't come back… yet so hopeful at the same time that when he returned it would be with their son. Neither things ever happened. He had never returned with their baby - well, not really _that_ anymore, it'd be their toddler - but at the same time he had always returned. She had no idea what she would have done if he didn't.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha called out to cause her to jump and turn to see him walk through the barrier and up to her. An annoyed look upon his face. He didn't have to say it, she already knew what was wrong. "You're out of my sight and you think it's a good idea to go on a walk, _by yourself_, and to top it off you were walking along the barrier? Fuck. What have I told you?"

"Inuyasha," she sighed, she even added a pout to try and appease him. It didn't work well, but it worked some. He did feel slightly better - _slightly _- at the sight of her pout but not enough that he wasn't going to chew her out for going towards the barrier. "I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare ever do it again," he ordered. His sunlit stare shifted up and down her to verify that she was in one piece and fine. For a moment, his eyes stopped on her enlarged stomach. That was the reason that he was so paranoid and why she needed to be more careful. Wasn't that obvious, did he really have to pound it into her head some more?

"You are treating me like a child, Inuyasha, and it's really starting to get on my nerves," Kagome stated rather harshly, "I'm so sick of it. Really, _so_ sick."

"I don't want something to happen to you," he growled back, "that's the only reason I'm acting like this. And I'm not treating you like a child. It's just you keep doing stupid shit, like you aren't listening to a word I've said. You're safest inside the barrier. You're even safer inside my sight at all time. I just need you to be safe, Kagome."

She knew that… she did. It was just having him always nag about staying _inside _his line of sight and _never_ leaving the barrier. Since they found out she was pregnant she hadn't really left the town. Before that, she never really explored his side of reality but now she had no chance of doing it… and suddenly the village seemed ever so small.

At the same time, she was certain that he was right. Her child and her were safest inside the barrier and within Inuyasha's line of sight but it did annoy her some. "I know you do it because you care, Inuyasha…"

"Keh, obviously," he grumbled back as he took her hand and began to lead her towards town again.

She was going to say something more, maybe mention how he could act less rigid about it, but a sudden bang caught her attention, causing her to jump some and grab him again as they looked to the barrier to see a small demon bounce against the barrier. His arms wrapped around her with narrowed eyes. "That fucker… I should -"

"Please, don't leave," Kagome requested stubbornly as she looked up to him pleadingly. How the hell could he ever say no to something like that? "It could be a trap, just stay here with me."

"That's true," he muttered and the youkai was deflected off of the barrier so it wasn't going to be a problem. Leaving Kagome alone when something like that happened was a terrible idea, so he just held her a bit tighter before kissing her upon the head. "Let's go home."

"I really like that idea," she softly replied.

_Our home always seemed like the safest place in the world… but, I guess, bad things can happen in supposedly safe places still._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

He was always on edge, always trying to stop whatever problem might happen next, or something of the sort. The fact that he didn't seem to sleep often worried her but there wasn't any convincing him. It was impossible nowadays to get him to settle down. It had been getting so much worse the farther along in the pregnancy she got.

"Will you come here?" she asked with a heavy sigh as her hazels followed him around the house that afternoon. For some reason, he was checking everything in the house to make sure that it was sealed up tightly, that everything was alright. It was driving her a little crazy. "Come here."

"Why?" he questioned with a lifted brow as he gave her a quick side glance. "Kagome, I'm just-"

"Making me crazy," she muttered, "I demanded you come over here and a s-i-t next to me. Alright?"

"Oh? And why is that?" he inquired as her eyes narrowed upon him.

"We need to have bonding time with our child," she answered as she rubbed her stomach lightly. "Come here, please?"

His golden gaze went to the window, to see the sun was still high in the sky, before his eyes shifted back to Kagome. With a sigh he walked over to sit down next to her, he supposed that was a good idea. It was just he had been reluctant to do that… he knew it was wrong, but he didn't want to get attached to something he might never have. A smile almost slipped up his lips at the thought.

The first time around, when they were having their son, Kagome had been the one reluctant to form an attachment. The one who was certain it was pointless since they'd never get to have him… but he had insisted on it, he had thought they'd be able to actually have their son, and it failed. This time, it was Kagome that was forcing him to sit down and have bounding time with their child. It was weird how things could turn around like that.

"I love you," she whispered.

For some reason, she had been saying that a lot. Which meant, he was saying it a lot as well. He always replied, "I love you, too."

"Bonding time means you can't think of anything but her or me, no worrying, Inuyasha," Kagome stated.

"_Him_," he countered, "and I'm not worrying about anything, Kagome."

"You could have had me fooled with the way you were wandering the house just now checking to make sure everything was locked. Why were you doing that anyway?"

"I just wanted to make sure everything was safe for tonight, that's all."

"Why would tonight be any different than any other night?" she asked with a small tilt of her head.

To that he just shrugged as she placed a hand on his head to lower it down to her stomach. He didn't understand what she was getting at in the least until she said, "your hearing is so much better than mine. Can you… hear her heartbeat?"

That was a good question so he placed his ear against her bulging belly to try and hear something. It only took a short while for him to hone in on that sound. The pitter patter of a heartbeat. A healthy one, he thought, but he couldn't be sure. He didn't know how a baby's heartbeat should have sounded like anyway.

"Yeah, I can," he answered with a smile.

"See? Everything's going to be alright," she stated with her own smile. It was a real relief hearing that. If there was a heartbeat and she was growing, surely everything was going to be fine. It just had to be…

"It better," he muttered so low he was sure she couldn't hear him. Because… if everything turned out not to be alright he couldn't take it. He just didn't have any idea of realizing at the time that he had no idea what was to come, and how the perfect picture of what was to be would never become reality.

Or… how it would be all his wife's fault. Even in all his wildest dreams he wouldn't have thought she'd take something so important away from him. That he'd crush all the possibilities in their future… and without even consulting him first. But for the time being, he could live in blissful ignorance of what the future would hold for him.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Morality was the problem they faced. The thing that kept him awake at night with worry. His wife was just a mortal… she could get killed easily and their child could also as long as he was in her. Which he would be for quite some time still. That was why he had to make sure the house was completely safe for that night.

When the sun finally set that night it gave way to one of the things he hated most - a sky without a moon. Ever since Kagome became pregnant he feared the new moons more than ever before. What if something attacked? What if something happened? He couldn't protect her. He was useless mortal.

It was apparent to him that she had forgotten what night it was going to be since she gasped with surprise when she was doing the dishes only to turn around to see her husband look completely different than when she started her chore. But then realization dawned on her, she should have figured that out. He had been acting strange all day, and he always did before a night of the new moon.

"I love you like this," she assured him softly once she convinced him to lie down on the futon with her to keep her warm that night. He didn't see what it mattered, even if he was sitting up with his sword it wouldn't do them any good. He wouldn't notice anything until it was too late and his sword didn't transform for him when he was mortal.

It was a lose-lose situation.

"Yeah, I know," he muttered back. She loved him no matter what, he got that, but it didn't make him feel any better on nights like that. Particularly when his wife was pregnant and in need of protection.

"Do you really hate being mortal just one night a month so much?" she asked as she glanced over to see the expression on his face. At first there was nothing, he had just been staring at the ceiling, but then he turned his temporarily auburn gaze to her.

"When I was a kid I looked forward to it, I loved it even," he started cautiously before letting out a sigh and turning his gaze back to the ceiling. "Those nights my mother never got cursed at… neither did I. We moved around a lot when I was a kid, it was hard for us to stay in one village for too long. So sometimes no one would know that I was a hanyou yet and think I was just a normal kid. My mom… would smile a lot more on nights like those. I didn't get to see her smile often. Most of the time she was sad, crying…"

"Oh, Inuyasha," Kagome whispered. She reached out to take one of his hands into hers and squeeze it before placing it on her stomach. "We'll both be here for this child, regardless of any problems, and make sure that she never feels like she'd not good enough."

"I hope," he mumbled softly, "that he resembles you more than me. It'd be easier if he looked mostly human."

"I love your features, all of them," she promised him with a smile. One that got an ever so weak one in return, but still a smile. On the night of the new moon, she rarely ever saw him smile. That brought her almost as much joy as the feeling of a kick.

Quickly, Inuyasha propped himself up on his elbow as she laughed lightly. "Was that?"

"Yeah," she stated with a nod, "she definitely just kicked."

The smile on her face… the glow of bliss she seemed to have even in the worst of times. It all made him wonder one thing, "do you like being pregnant? I mean, it is a pain sometimes and isn't always pleasant." She complained often about all the horrors of pregnancy, after all. "But are you happy regardless?"

"I don't not like it," was the best answer she could give. She wouldn't have wanted to be pregnant all of the time but it was a suffering that would bring them great joy. And it would. It had to. This time around they'd get to have their child. She was just sure of it.

"That's not a real answer," he grumbled back.

"Fine, then I have a question for you, what if we conceived our child on the night of the new moon?" it was a possibility, they had sex all the time on night's the new moon. It was something that could happen and there was a new moon near around the time that she got pregnant. "Would our child be fully human?"

That seemed to baffle him for a moment as his gaze shifted around her. Then he shrugged a shoulder, "I don't know. Maybe. I am human on those nights so… probably, I guess. Why…?"

Was that what she wanted? Their child to be fully human? He knew if it was, it'd have an easier life but… no, he also knew Kagome wouldn't care about such things. She'd love their kid no matter what it was.

"Just wondering," she mused while she closed her eyes. "I'm going to sleep, so should you."

He wanted to laugh at the very idea. On nights of the new moon he never slept. She should have known better than to even suggest the idea.

* * *

**A/N**:_ Thank you for your reviews, I appreciate them all - long or short. Sorry it took me so long to update this I just... had writer's block. I still have it for Toyfriend so I don't know when I'll be updating that. Hopefully soon.  
_

Please review continue to **review** :)


	36. Nearing Rearing

**{**•** D**amned **D**eed •**}  
**.•°.**C**hapter **3**6: **N**_earing_ **R**_earing_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_Everything started to go by so quickly that before I knew it I was almost due. In a short period I was certain that we'd be a complete family. Well, not complete. We'd never be complete without our first born but… as complete as we were going to be. It would be Inuyasha, me, and our child._

_And everything would be magically better, I actually started to believe that. I was certain our child would be born into a safe world where Inuyasha could protect us all. I guess in hindsight that was silly of me. I should have known better._

_I should have seen a lot of things coming, though._

"I really want you to stay back," Inuyasha insisted as he glanced over his ever so pregnant wife a couple times. His eyes landing on her extended belly mostly before he carried on with what he always said. "I'll check the well, _you_ stay with Miroku and Sango. Seriously, Kagome."

"I will," she muttered as her eyes shifted over to the home of their friends. She only hinted towards wanting to come with him but she knew better. For the safety of their child, she had to stay well within the barrier. It was just annoying most of the time.

How she longed for Naraku to be dead and their worries to be withered down to things that a normal couple got to concern themselves with - like, what's for dinner, when will her husband work again, where would he go, and when would he be home. Not when or if a horrific monster would try to kill them and their unborn child. No… that wasn't fair.

They had lost enough already, it wasn't fair that fate made them go through all of this, too. The thought of it all could make her cry, but that also had a lot to do with the fact that lately anything even slightly emotional could make her tear up - or get really mad, it just depended. When her hormones settled down after the pregnancy ended she would be ever so grateful.

"You alright?" Inuyasha dragged out, letting his golden gaze glance over his abnormally quiet wife. Usually when he was about to walk her the final steps to their friend's front door and go off to the well se would constantly talk. It was out of nervousness, and not always about something important, but she'd chatter away. This time something was obviously on her mind, and the glaze over her eyes made him think it was an unpleasant thought.

"I'm fine," she assured him with a weak smile as she reached up to place a hand on his cheek. "I'll miss you."

"I'll come back, just like always."

_That's what he always said… and then I'd enter Miroku and Sango's home and try not to worry my head off while he was away with all the possibilities. With all the _what ifs_ that drove me crazy. All the _what ifs_ that could no longer make my head hurt… at least back then I had hope._

_That hopes gone, and that's all my fault._

She wasn't sure how long he was gone, her eyes had been stuck on the window watching the clouds that moved by and attempted to try to decide what they looked like. It was silly but it helped keep her mind off things. She was safely in her friend's home, both of which were home, Miroku was taking a nap and Sango was making lunch for her children, so she was alone.

Until Kohaku came rushing in with a strange look on his face, one that made her bend a brow and ask, "what's wrong?"

"Inuyasha... he," Kohaku slowly started as he looked away, "it's not good… you better come."

That's all it took for her to get to her feet, with mild difficulty from her size, and follow Kohaku out of the house as fast as she could go. Worry made her heart pump so quickly that she was certain it would pop right out of her chest as her eyes continuously scanned forward in hopes of seeing her husband.

"Kohaku, what's wrong? What happened?" Kagome questioned time and time again as they rushed forward but all he did was shake his head and wave her forward. She barely even noticed when she crossed through the barrier to exit the village. Did he get attacked? Was he hurt?

All her thoughts were focused on her husband, not her own well-being and thus not that of the unborn child that she was meant to protect. When they were just a short distance into the forest outside of the village she stopped. Something was wrong - obviously - but there was something more going on there.

"Kohaku," she stated sternly, "where's Inuyasha?"

He was in front of her with his back to her, but she could tell not only from his silence but his stance that he wasn't alright. Then there was that slight shift in his aura… all of which made her start to take a couple of steps backwards. She was so stupid. So blind. She knew right then that she shouldn't have come.

The disgusting chuckle that tore out was so familiar, so sickening, that her heart sank as she placed both her hands on her bulging belly as she continued to go backwards. It didn't take long for the monster that managed to make her life miserable to come into sight, right in front of Kohaku, who he walked up to and patted on the shoulder.

"I was able to work my way back into his mind," Naraku explained with a sick smirk, "he's back under my control, so I brought you out here. I wanted to kill you myself. You and your unborn child, that is."

"You bastard," Kagome hissed with narrowed eyes, "leave Kohaku alone!"

"I think you should worry more about yourself than him," he countered as he took a step towards her, slowly she watched as one of his hands formed into something akin to a root, one that looked ever so sharp. Then he slashed it towards her, there was no way she could move quick enough to get out of its way - but in the end that didn't matter.

A sword sliced it in half to protect her, before she even knew it she could see red in front of her. Inuyasha. Of course he'd come, she just should have known.

"Damn it, Kagome," he growled so low that she knew he only meant for her to hear it. They hadn't time to talk about how idiotic she had been before he quickly took of his fire rat robe and pushed it towards her to cover herself. "Stay back."

Stay back meant leaving him, meant going back to the village, she knew that was what he meant but… she couldn't bear the thought of leaving him alone as he fought Naraku. Not knowing what happened to him… not being able to help but she knew that was the best thing to do as he ran forward to start a clash with the monster.

Really, it was the only thing for her to do. She had to keep their child safe and she would only be a burden to Inuyasha if she stayed so she waited until it was obvious that Naraku was far too distracted with Inuyasha's assaults for her to turn and rush back behind the barrier.

_Just_ behind the barrier… so she could stay, watch, and wait for her husband's return. He had to come back to her - he promised he always would. Again, she tried to turn her gaze skyward and watch the clouds as they moved across the sky in hopes of distracting herself from the concern that ate away at her - that made her feel a burning sickness.

But… that didn't help. Not at all. When the clouds disappeared into the night sky she felt a terrible pain pang out through her - why would it take him that long? Why didn't she see any sign of him? Why, why, why…? Her eyes started to water, she felt light trickles of tears fall as she tried her utmost to keep a steady breath.

The only solace she got was the feeling of her hands on her stomach, knowing that their child was safe within her, that she could still feel her kicks.

"Kagome-sama," Miroku greeted, startling her so deeply she gasped and almost jumped. "My apologies, I didn't mean to scare you. What's wrong?"

"Inuyasha hasn't come back," she muttered as her hurt hazels turned towards the forest once more.

"But… when Sango and I noticed you were gone we assumed he had come to get you," Miroku countered with softly furrowed brows.

"N-Naraku attacked," she whispered, unsure if she could speak of it really fully without bursting into tears - which, would have been utterly useless to the situation, she knew.

_Really, me just standing there all that time was pointless. I should have gone to Miroku and Sango for help to start out with but… I wasn't smart that day. Not at all. I was an idiot._

_No, I _am_ an idiot. I caused our problems. It's my fault that I lost most of his love. A part of him still loves me but most of his love is reserved for another now, for her… and I know it's wrong that I'm so jealous. That I envy her as much as I do but… love isn't sensible and I'm not either._

"I'll go find him," Miroku offered, he only made a small motion towards leaving the barrier before she grabbed his sleeve.

"No, it's too dangerous," she hardly wanted his children to grow up without a father.

He smiled at her as he placed his cursed hand upon hers and squeezed it lightly before he made her release him. "I will go find him," he stated softly yet stern enough that it was apparent she couldn't talk him out of it. A majority didn't want to, most of her wanted him to continue forward and make sure Inuyasha was fine… to bring her home to him.

Thus, that was exactly what Miroku did. Her heart ached all the more when she watched him walk out of sight and within the forest. But not nearly as much as it did when it seemed like an eternity had passed by before she saw the violet eyed monk come out of the forest… with a red coated Inuyasha.

Which was wrong since he had given her his red robe, so where did all that red come from?

Blood… it was blood.

It was all his, too.

She felt faint then, so much so that she almost fell over as she watched Miroku bring Inuyasha through the barrier, but she couldn't. All she could do was stare in disbelief at the sight.

"Is… he…?" she whispered shakily, "is he…?"

"Let us get him to Kaede-sama's quickly," Miroku replied as he readjusted his friend upon his back. "I am sure she will be able to help him."

To that, all she could do was nod her head.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It was his back for the most part, there were wounds all over it, that was where most of the blood had come from that stained his white undergarment to the point that she felt she would just throw it away and get him a new one. It was beyond repair.

But he was alive. That was what was important - so very important. Both her and Kaede worked on him to make sure he got the best treatment, that he would surely get better. All waited anxiously for him to wake up, to reassure them all that he would be just fine.

One of the things she hated most of all during that time of waiting was explaining what had happened to her friends… to watch the sorrow seep deep into Sango's eyes at the knowledge that her brother was responsible for luring them into the trap. That his mind was once again lost to that monster.

"We'll get him back," Miroku had whispered to her as he squeezed her hands.

Then there was the waiting again, while he slept on his front in their futon, she sat beside the best with her legs laid out straight and her body propped up with her hands behind her. Her hazels constantly scanning up and down his ointment covered back. Those wounds were her fault…

When he finally stirred some her heart lightened just a bit, "Kagome…"

"Inuyasha," she whispered back as she reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, "I'm right here. We're safe… all three of us."

"Good," he muttered before he finally pried his golden gaze open to look over his wife and verify what she said was true.

"What happened?" she softly inquired as she placed her hand back on the ground to support herself.

"We fought for a while longer before he retreated," he answered simply, he probably would have shrugged as if it were nothing if not for the fact that it hurt when he moved. "I must have passed out…"

"Miroku went and got you," she explained, "I was so worried."

"You shouldn't leave the barrier," he grunted harshly.

"I know," she muttered with a deep frown, "I'm sorry but Kohaku said that there was something wrong with you and I… I just wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry."

"Just," he stopped to sight, "don't let it happen again."

"I swear I won't."

That seemed to satisfy him, since he just gave a weak nod against the futon and reached out his hand to place his hand on her rounded stomach. Quickly she rearranged herself so that most of her weight could be supported by one arm so she could place a hand over his. She was so thankful that he was there… that he was alright.

"I was so worried that you'd never get to meet our child, that I'd be all alone." Such thoughts had filled her head since she left his sight. "Inuyasha, you can't protect us if you are dead."

To that he scoffed, "I'll never die."

His cockiness was welcomed, it was reassuring, so she found the power to smile and stroke his hand with her thumb. For a while, she just relished in the silence, in the peace that surrounded them even if it was just for a short while. But then she decided that they needed a lightened subject to make both of them feel better.

So she said, "I think we are having a girl."

"Why are you so sure about that?" he inquired with a cocked brow.

"Just because we had a boy last time."

"That's not how it works," he countered, "it's not a boy-girl-boy-girl type of thing."

"I still think we're having a girl," she insisted with a smile, "why do you think we're having a boy?"

"Just 'cause," it wasn't scientific or anything, he just had a gut feeling. At least he wasn't trying to give some lame-ass excuse like she was.

"Would you rather have a boy or girl?" She inquired with a tilt of her head.

"I don't care either way," as long as the child was safe, healthy, and always with them then he'd be perfectly happy regardless of the gender.

"How about this? If we have a boy, you can name him, and if we have a girl, then I get to name her," she suggested.

"Fine, yeah, that sounds like a good idea," even though, if they did have a boy, he would never knew what to name him. He supposed he had to start thinking up names.

"I…" she cautiously began, trying her utmost to resist a smile. She wasn't sure if she should say it or not but she did. "I can't wait to hold her… I never got to hold him."

_Him being the son that we never got to see. The one that I never got to hold. The one I wish I did get that chance every single day. I miss him. Is that possible? To miss someone I never really got to know? Someone I only ever get to see once? But... he was a part of me for so long._

* * *

_**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate all of them, long or short. I am sorry it took so long for this chapter to get out and that it's so short. I hope you enjoyed it anyway and that you are still enjoying the story. Anyway, thank you everyone for reading Damned Deed and sticking with it even though the updates aren't the best.  
**_


	37. Second Birth

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapte_r **3**_7_:** S**_econd_ **B**_irth_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

The scene before him was in such disarray, it made him a bit sick to see… his golden gaze wandered about the bedroom that had yet to be cleaned. It would need to be, obviously, sooner rather than later. The smells that lingered were disgusting yet he was still too stunned to deal with that.

How could that have happened? How…? So many emotions fluttered through him in that moment, he wasn't sure which one would take over, which was right to accept in that moment or which should be cast aside for the time being.

Slowly, his golden gaze shifted to the sheets that had been ruined, coated in blood amongst other things. That was just a reminder of what had happened - what his mind had yet to be able to fully grasp. He couldn't. It was just too surreal… how could it be real?

How could _that_ have happened?

Much, much, much earlier that morning it finally happened - it was time for his wife to give birth. It was the second time for them, though a majority of the village thought it was the first. That was one of the many things that were different this time around. Instead of the customs of the castle, they had to obey the customs of the town and the time that they lived in.

Hence, he was forced to stay outside of their home while it went on. At the beginning he was fine with it, he remembered how awkward child birth was from the last time. He really didn't want to be there at all the first time around, but Watanabe ad insisted. When Kikyou had their baby, he had obeyed the same custom. He had stayed outside the entire time. More so because he knew Kikyou greatly respected such customs, and probably didn't want him in there to start with anyway.

Miroku, seemingly meditating, was there to keep him company. He had been through the same thing multiple times with Sango, so he was clearly calm and knew how everything would surely be alright in the end - it just had to, they all needed it to be.

He hardly could stay in one place, though, he found himself pacing around almost endlessly in the same damn circle around and around. Then, the thing that finally broke him, was the sound of his wife - _his_ Kagome's - moaning. It wasn't the type he liked to hear, the ones she gave him in the heat of their passion, the ones that were sweet to his ears and made him grow hot.

No. These were the awful type. The long, drawn-out, agony filled moans. If not for his heightened hearing he probably wouldn't have noticed them, since they were so soft. She was obviously suffering and it killed him.

The first time around, she had been in pain, too, but he didn't care as much - he wasn't in love with her back then. Now he was, now she was his world, so hearing those moans, those horrible things, made him feel like he was dying. He was given two options at that pointed, the way he saw it, either stay outside and walk farther away to ignore the pain or go in and try to comfort her in whatever way he could. That meant, though, he'd subject himself to the multitude of discomforts that birthing brought…

She was subjecting herself to _far_ worse, though.

The second was the one that he went with, the first one would have been the cowardly thing to do. So, he went into his home and straight to the bedroom where Kaede and a few of the other village women had gathered to help with the birthing. Shock was on all their faces but the elder priestess Kaede and calm companion Sango.

No man did that. Everyone knew better. And just in case he didn't know that - after all he was just a _hanyou _and they were often ever so stupid - they tried to tell him.

"It's not right for you to be here," one said, "you have to stay outside.

"Keh," he had scoffed and waved her off before he went over to Kagome and knelt down next to her.

"It's not proper for the man to be here," another protested.

"I don't really give a shit. She's my wife and it's my kid, I'm staying," he insisted and that was that. He was too stubborn to get talked out of it and when he glanced over to Kaede she just gave him a small nod of approval. Apparently that was enough for the village women to subside, too.

Kagome had smiled at him, not one of her beautiful authentic ones, but a small, painful, curve of her lips before asking between agonizing clenches, "are you… sure?"

"Yeah," he stated simply though he wanted to say _I was there last time, wasn't I?_ but there were too many prying eyes and eavesdropping ears to mention the first time. So, instead, he just gave her his hand to hold and squeeze as much as she wanted.

Thus, he stayed with her throughout the morning and well into the afternoon. The smells were unpleasant to say the least but he had smelt worse before - this was, after all, the only way to bring his child into the world. He'd just have to deal. The suffering and torment that consumed his wife, that filled the small, congested room was the worst part. He wanted the rest of them to just fucking leave.

But he just bit his tongue and suffered alongside her. He hated that he couldn't appease her pain, that there was no way of fixing what was wrong, but he just had to remind himself that it'd be over soon. It hurt him even then to think about everything: the groans, the long painful moans, the labored breathes, the quiet agony that had contorted her face in the worst of moments.

All the gasps, all the painful twists of her face, all the silent tears killed him bit by bit.

Then the part that he hadn't yet been able to grasp happened. Finally, their child entered the world amongst a gush of unpleasant and unidentifiable fluids and blood to slide into Kaede's stable hands. His heart stopped, his breath hitched in that moment. Endless possibilities exploded in an instant within his mind.

Had something gone wrong along the way? Had the poison from early on affected their child in some way? Was it a he or she? Was their child _alright_?

It was so quiet for what seemed like forever before all the gunk was cleaned from the mouth and nose of his child and suddenly he heard a cry, a high-pitched, cry of annoyance. As if his child wanted the world to know what a disturbance the birthing had been for it. Yeah, that was his kid alright.

His golden gaze flickered briefly to his wife who was lying completely down on the futon, with her eyes closed, taking in a series of deep breaths. Relieved, clearly, that it was finally over. Then his eyes shifted back to Kaede.

"Ye have a daughter," she said, notifying the eager parents just as they had been waiting for all along. Again, his stare shifted to Kagome, her eyes were still closed but she smiled. Rather, smirked, to him - _ha, I was right,_ he was sure that was what she meant to say.

"I will go clean her up and allow you some rest -" but Kaede couldn't finish her sentence before Kagome interrupted.

"I want to hold her first," Kagome insisted as she started to sit up. Inuyasha quickly shifted over so that she could lean against him for support, another quick smile towards him was her way of thanking him for that. He responded by wrapping his arms lightly around her - to hold her after all of that made him feel so much better.

"If ye wish," Kaede replied before wrapping the child in a blanket and handing her over to her mother.

He had never seen her so content as she was when she held their child in her arms, staring with wonder at the little life they had each played a part in creating. Overwhelmed, tears started to trickle down her cheeks as she looked over every bit of the daughter. Before two words left her lips, "she's perfect."

"Yeah," was all he said in reply. The child looked perfect, just as she had said, and she smelled perfect two - a mixture between their scents. The small amount of hair she had was black, like her mothers, it wouldn't be later until after she stopped her crying and opened her eyes before they could see who's eyes she had gotten.

But, they didn't get that yet, instead Kagome finally let Kaede take her away to clean her up and make sure that the child was as healthy as they all hoped. First, though, she had asked if he had wanted to hold their child - he had said he'd do it later. She was so small… so tiny and fragile looking, he hardly thought it was a good idea. What if he accidently crushed her?

Even though… he had two sons, he had never held a baby that little before.

"Ye need to rest, child," Kaede had ordered before leaving the room.

"I'll help you clean up and then we'll find you a place to rest," Sango had offered.

And that was what had happened, no one had gotten around to cleaning the room yet - not that he really cared. He was still having a hard time grasping what had happened. That he… he was actually a dad. That it all seemed to happen without a problem.

It was finally hearing someone return to the room that snapped him out of his daze. That got him to look over to see Kaede had returned to clean up the mess that was left. So his gaze shifted about then to try and find either his daughter or Kagome - though, he was fairly certain that Kagome was just in the next room sound asleep. She should be at least, after all that she had endured that day.

His eyes landed right outside the door where the cradle they had gotten for their child was, so he wandered over to glance in and see if it was full or not. It was, and there slept his child peacefully, apparently she was done with her screaming and decided she liked her new environment more than her one prior.

A smile slipped up his lips as he looked over her. She squirmed within the blanket she was had been tucked under and wrinkled her nose at something before moving her itty bitty hands about some. She was sleeping, but she was far from sound asleep, so he thought it might be safe to kneel down to delicately -_ very, very_ delicately - pick up and wrap his arms around her secularly yet lightly so not to harm her.

"She appears to be perfectly healthy," Kaede announced to gain his attention some.

That was amazing. He could barely believe it. How could that happen? How could, after two failed attempts at having a child, he finally get to hold a healthy baby in his arms? It wasn't comprehendible. It was insane, otherworldly even.

"Thank you, Kaede, for everything," he answered, heartfelt enough that Kaede merely smiled and gave him a nod before returning to the task at hand.

In his arms was a little miracle, _his _little miracle. Finally, fate had smiled upon them and gave them a gift. A healthy, adorable, baby girl. She was perfect… and it was almost overwhelming. He heard another creek behind him, but he didn't have to look to know it was his wife. That she apparently couldn't sleep for that long - regardless of how exhausted she must have been.

If he had looked, he would have seen a genuine, grand smile on her lips. It warmed her heart in a way she had never known to see her husband holding their daughter in his arms. His reluctance to do so earlier had worried her some, but she merely assumed it was out of disbelief of the situation or some silly fear he had of not being good at it.

"I was so scared," he whispered to her, "the entire time that something would happen. That we wouldn't be here like this now… that we'd lose her or I'd lose you, or worse I'd lose both of you. I couldn't sleep without dreaming about one of those things happened…"

"I was scared, too," she softly replied as she walked over to wrap her arms around him and rest her head against his shoulder to look over their daughter. "But we're all together now."

"Kaede said you are both healthy and fine," Inuyasha added. "I couldn't be more grateful for this."

"We're blessed this time around," she had said in such a sweet hush that it earned a smile from him. "We haven't named her yet… and we haven't a room prepared for her either."

He wanted to roll his eyes at the last bit, "yeah, yeah, I'll get working on that now, a'right?"

"Aright," she replied with a smile as she nuzzled closer to him, he would have wrapped an arm around her but he had to make sure he didn't drop their daughter so he didn't. Instead he nodded for them to go into the room Kagome had been sleeping in then handed their daughter off to his daughter then he sat down and held out his arms so that she could gently sit down with her back to him chest.

He then wrapped his arms around her so that she could rest her body completely against him. It was better this way, he thought, since he was holding them both in his arms now. It was quiet clear, as well, that Kagome felt significantly better holding their daughter, too. Again, she said, "we haven't named her yet."

"You're the one that has to name her," Inuyasha countered, "remember? I would have if it was boy, you would if it's a girl."

"I like Keiko," she stated as she glanced from their still sleeping child up to see his reaction, which was a simple nod, "do you like it?"

"Yeah, I do," he answered. Keiko - happy child - she didn't seem so happy when she was entered the world but he'd make sure that the name held true. That his daughter was the happiest, _safest_, girl in all the world. "Go to sleep, Kagome."

"I'm not -"

"You can't say you aren't tired," he argued softly as he rested his chin upon her head. "When you wake up, we'll all still be here."

"Promise?" she whispered lightly.

She didn't have to say anymore, he knew what her fear was - that it was just a dream, that she'd wake up and something horrible would have actually have happened. He had the same worry, but with his family in his arms he knew what was reality and what was a nightmare. He was _really_ holding Kagome, she was _really_ holding their daughter.

"I promise," he assured her before he felt her relax against him more, she readjusted some so that she was a bit more comfortable. It didn't take long at all before her breath steadied and heartbeat at a regular pace, he knew she needed her sleep.

For a long while, he just sat there taking in all that had happened while observing his slumbering wife and daughter. The little girl that nuzzled closer to her mom, the one she was accustomed to being a part of, the women who's scent she knew so well. He could tell from the way her little stub of a nose movements quickened every once and a while that even while she was sleeping, she was taking in the scents around her.

He smiled at that while he moved one hand away from Kagome and over to stroke the soft skin of his daughter's cheek, she stiffened momentarily whilst her nose worked overtime to try and discover who else was in the room with her and her caretaker, her mother. He moved his hand closer to her nose to make it easier on her, apparently the scent was agreeable to her because she made a little nose of glee before she leaned her head against his hand.

Not even a day old and she was already smart enough to realize her scent was very similar to his own, which meant she could trust him. She was a clever little thing, that he was certain came from her mother more so than himself.

"Keiko," he whispered ever so lightly.

He had a daughter… it was still insane to grasp. There were so many more things to worry about with a daughter than there was with a son, at least he thought so. A boy would learn to protect himself, someday he would probably feel comfortable with letting a son go around by himself, but a girl? He'd never feel comfortable letting his daughter out of his sight.

Not to mention, the inevitable problem with boys… he shivered at the thought. If she grew up and looked like her mother then he'd just have to scare off heaps of them to make sure that everyone knew that she was utterly off limits. Then, there was the awful truth of the matter, he still had to worry about protecting her and Kagome from Naraku.

Another peep from Keiko got him to look back down at her as she moved around, he trusted that even while sleeping Kagome wouldn't let their daughter drop but just to help her out he slid an arm beneath their child. Finally, he watched as his daughter pried open her eyes to look around for something - instantly the sight sparked another warming awe within him.

Her eyes were a bright gold, just like his. He gave a weak half smile as he slid his hand along her back then up to her head again. He slid his fingers along her normal, human, ears then up to her small tuffs of jet-black hair before his finger tips were along her cheek again. She could have looked perfectly human, just like her mother, she would have had a much simpler life but no… she had to share some of his features. She had to have the golden eyes.

"She's hungry," Kagome whispered, startling him since he thought she was still sleeping. "She hasn't been fed yet."

"Right," he mumbled back as he glanced over to see that Kagome had yet to open her eyes - she just knew what her daughter wanted. Just as he always knew that she'd make the ideal mother, Keiko was a lucky girl.

After a while of nothing but the squirming and small whines of his daughter he asked, "well, aren't you going to feed her?"

She smiled softly at that before shaking her head lightly against him and saying, "I can't do it by myself in this position. You'll have to open my yukata for me or hold Keiko."

_Duh_ he should have figured that out. The one he knew how to do better was opening her yukata, so he slid his hand over to do just that. Exposing her full and heavy breast to the chill of night. It took two tries for Keiko to finally grab on to the pink tip to start to suckle away hungrily.

"Does that hurt?" Inuyasha inquired quietly.

"No," she whispered back, it felt a bit strange but she enjoyed it. Last time, with her son, she never got to feed him… she never got to even hold him. She swallowed back to sting that followed from that thought.

Right then, she had to focus on the positives. She had a perfectly healthy daughter in her arms, she had a protective and loving husband holding her, and for the time being that had to be enough. Someday soon, she hoped that their family would be whole again.

"I love you," Inuyasha said, rather randomly she thought, but it seemed necessary to him. He realized that he hadn't said it all day, she had given birth to their daughter that day but he hadn't told her how much he loved her. He didn't know it was possible to love her more than he did the same before, or respect her more than he already had, but after that day both grew.

"I love you, too," she assured him. "I love you, as well, Keiko."

For the rest of the night, they stayed like that, all three of them together. For that night they were allowed to forget all their worries. For that night, they couldn't have been happier… but none of them knew right then, how that happiness could be ruined.

* * *

_**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate all of them, long or short. I'm happy with this update, more so than most before it, and pleased with the length of time between the last one and this one. **_

_**I hope everyone is still enjoying the story. Thank you for reviewing and sticking with the story.  
**_


	38. A Blessed Curse

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter_ **3**_8_: **A** **B**_lessed _**C**_urse_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_We were a happy family. Inuyasha, Keiko and I spent a week being just like that. All of us grew closer, and for a time being I thought there was such a thing as happily ever after just like all the fairytales tried to teach me while growing up... But that was a delusion. A pretty one delusion, at least._

_One that gave me a brief happiness. One that gave me wonderful memories to look back on when I seemed to shatter things between Inuyasha and myself. _

A smile always seemed to be on her lips, a cloak of contentment was cast upon her ever since Keiko entered their life. Since their son was taken from them, she had been denied the opportunity to be a mother but with Keiko she got the chance to fulfill that part of her life. It was a beautiful thing. Inuyasha loved it, there was little in the world he liked more than watching her tending to their small daughter. Motherhood was perfect for her, it came naturally to her, but fatherhood was something he had to work on.

Work really hard on, to be exact. Protecting them was easy, figuring out what else fatherhood entailed was the difficult part. Hence why, when one of them had to leave their daughter, he volunteered to do the task and generally speaking Kagome would be completely fine with it.

They needed food for the week? Inuyasha would go get it.

They needed firewood? He'd get it.

They needed to check the well…? He did it.

Right after Keiko was born they decided that only one would go at a time in case something… happened. Moreover, it was still for the best if Inuyasha was the one to leave the barrier. Before leaving, he kissed the two upon the head then he started towards the well.

It seemed like a longer walk than usual that day, maybe because he was dragging his feet on the journey there. Ever since Keiko was born he had dreaded going to the well some. That day, when he reached the edge, he was a bit afraid to actually jump in.

Fear festered at the possibility of actually being able to get through yet not being able to get back … he didn't want to lose what he had. A healthy one week old daughter and a glowing, gleeful, wife.

His life was perfect.

But… no, that wasn't true. It wasn't perfect because they didn't have Hisashi, their son. He was still missing, growing up without the parents that loved him. So, he did find the strength to just jump right in.

For the first time in what seemed like forever… a blue wonder to surround him as he flew through it to land on the other side. The _other side_, it took him a long while to take in what was around. When he looked up he didn't see the same sky, it was a bit cloudy and grey outside and it didn't smell like greeneries but concrete.

He was _in_ the castle again. He shook his head and reached out to touch the wood of the well to verify it was reality - not just a dream. Cautiously he leaped up and out of the well to look around and make sure no one was there to see him. The courtyard… what weird memories were brought back there.

The courtyard was where he tried to win over Kagome, not sincerely, he didn't really care about her. He only cared that she was Kikyou's other back then. Again, he shook his head lightly to shake such thoughts as he slowly started his stealthy way through the outside of it. In hopes of finding some trace of his son.

Oh, Kami, if he could get him back and go home then everything would be perfect. Kagome would be beyond joyful to have both their children and so would he. His life would be _perfect_ for the first time in forever. He'd have a son, a daughter, and a wife that he loved beyond belief.

He used to know the castle like the back of his hand. He knew all the ins and outs, all the secret ways to get to where Kagome was… how to get information in and out but it had been a long time since he had been there. Those memories had faded. When he was last there he was a spy for his side of the world. He failed epically at it, because he got pushed through the well and stuck on his side before accomplishing what he was sent there to do.

The child that Kagome's world wanted would somehow help end the problems, how his side of the world didn't know, but Watanabe of his world wanted the kid on their side all the same. He was supposed to get his son over to their world… not leave him there to fend for himself.

But everything went wrong that day, somehow they found him out as the spy he was and Kagome ended up there with him by the well - then they fell in. Fell in and the well sealed up… until now. Now he had a chance to get their son back.

Those thoughts were pushed aside when he heard someone coming so he ducked down behind some bushes and glanced through the leaves to see who it was. Two guards came into sight, looking around dully at everything - either they were bad at their jobs or nothing interesting ever happened at the castle.

At first, their conversation was uninteresting, them bitching about the muggy shit weather then something of interest popped up.

"So, when's the kid suppose to do something for us?" one asked, "cause so far he seems useless."

"He's like two," the other countered, "Watanabe said it'd be when he reached five or six that he'd be able to help us."

"Fuck, who's to say our world is going to be here in another three of four years? Shit is just getting worse!"

"I know," the other snapped, "you don't think I know? My home village is gone."

Then their conversation faded away the farther they got. The kid _had_ to be his son, _had_ to be Hisashi.

What was he named here…? What did his son look? Did he have some sort of surrogate parents?

Did he know about them?

When he felt it was safe enough, he started on his way again, dodging every security guard that came around. The outside gave him no clues so he found a way in through an opened window. It was one of the top windows so he decided working his way downward was a good idea.

He just _had_ to find his son that way, didn't he? They wouldn't remove him from the castle and take him elsewhere… would they? If they did, he wouldn't know where to go in search of him. How long would he spend searching for Hisashi?

Kagome didn't know where he was, well, she would probably be able to guess since she knew he went to check on the well but she wouldn't know for sure. Thus, she'd be worried. And… leaving Kagome alone for a prolonged period of time when there was still the risk that Naraku would try to attack? He had to think about Keiko now, too.

She was so small… so fragile, she needed to be protected. Kagome couldn't guard Keiko by herself. But right then he had to focus on the chance he had.

The first floor he canvassed gave him nothing, the second even less, and then the third finally gave him something. Not his son, not yet, but a clue. Something he'd never forget…

A scent. One that _had_ to be his son's, it was so alike to Keiko's - a perfect mixture between him and Kagome. What that scent led him to was a room, a rather large one at that, one fit for a prince. When he was inside it he walked about to the bed that was perfectly made and… empty. His son wasn't there.

But it was his room. A room so grand, filled with perfect things, it was something that he could never give him. He couldn't give him all the toys that filled it, nor the clothes that lined the closest, or the bed was way nicer than a futon that they could give him.

Still, he was sure that Hisashi would be better off with them. _They_ loved him. _They_ would treat him like a prince. No one could care for him like they could… and that was why he exited the room - taking a token for memories sake just in case. A blue blanket that smelled of Hisashi.

"Hey, who are you?" Startled him so he glanced over his shoulder to see a guard there.

Fuck… he didn't notice him coming at all.

"Hey! I said who are you?" he repeated. That was Inuyasha started to run. The very last thing he needed was to get caught. If he did he'd be placed in jail for sure for being from the other side of the well and spying like he had. If that happened he might never get home and… then Kagome would be left to raise Keiko all alone.

Worse yet, they'd be all alone without someone to protect them. Naraku would surely get to her then, even if she never left the safety of their village Naraku could attempt to send humans through the barier again. Through all his rushing he did make sure to try and see if he could still find his son. But the more guards that followed him the less time he had so… when he got to the courtyard again he decided he really only had one choice.

He had to try the well and see if he could get home - back to his wife, back to his baby.

So he leaped towards the well… and that would haunt him forever. What if he had waited just a little longer to jump? What if he wasn't already halfway in the well before he saw it? _Saw_ a baffled toddler staring at the scene of guards chasing him. A golden eyed, silver haired, boy holding the hand of some women who was equally as confused.

It was his scent that confirmed that it was his son but… it was too late he was already falling down the well. If he had landed and couldn't go through then he'd be able to leap back up and get him but… the blue wondered wrapped around him and within mere moments he was on his side again. Quickly, he leaped out of the well and then back down in hopes that it would let him over again.

He _saw_ him. He _saw_ Hisashi and he missed it… he missed his chance to get him. When he landed at the bottom of the well his whole world came crashing down on him.

He got to see his son, see how well he was being treated but… but he couldn't get him. He failed. He had fucking failed.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Hours passed by, the sun had left the sky before he finally pried himself off the ground of the well and up back to the grass. It took effort for him to force himself to walk home and back to a worried wife who automatically asked, "where have you been all day?"

When he looked to see her curiosity with an edge of concern he wanted to tell her the truth, but then his gaze shifted to the baby that was sleeping in her arms. Surely Kagome would be mad with him and he didn't want the shouts to wake Keiko up - at least, that was the lie he went with - so he said, "I got side tracked, sorry."

Curiously, she tilted her head somewhat to the side, "Side tracked with what?"

"There was," he paused, briefly, before a believable lie rolled off his tongue, "a youaki in the forest I decided to take care of."

"Inuyasha," Kagome said with a sigh and shake of her head, "don't do dangerous things like that. Certainly don't do them without telling me, what if something happened to you?"

"It won't happen again," he assured her, and, sadly, he believed that was probably the truth. The well had given him an opportunity and he had squandered it. For so long they had been waiting for it to open up again… and when it did, briefly, he failed to accomplish the one task that he set out to do.

"Are you hungry?" Kagome asked as she walked over to kneel down next to Keiko's crib and put in it. "I could make you some ramen."

"Sure," he murmured, though, he really was far from hungry. He was too disgusted with himself to want to eat but if he turned down ramen he knew Kagome would only worry about him. So, instead, he walked over and set down the blue blanket he had taken from Hisashi's room on Keiko instead.

Even in her sleep, she seemed to recognize that the scent was similar to her own, because she quickly cuddled up to it.

"Aw, she likes it," Kagome whispered happily as she smiled up to him, "that was thoughtful of you."

He merely forced a smile to that comment. Someday he'd tell her where he got it, someday he would tell her where he had been all day, but he couldn't… not yet. He was too afraid of how she'd react. So, instead, he just sat down next to Keiko's cradle as Kagome started to cook him dinner. Trying his utmost to be as happy as he was the day before, as grateful as he was even that morning to have a healthy daughter and glowing wife but…

Now he knew what was missing. Now he had _seen_ what was absent. Now that blissful ignorance of happiness was ruined… and it was his fault.

* * *

_**A/N:** Yeah... I know, not what everyone would have hoped for, right__? I hope you are still enjoying the story **and**_** will continue to review.  
**_I appreciate them all, long short, or whatever. They really motivate me to update quicker :) _

_In comparison to my other full-length stories, I realized that I write rather short chapters for Damned Deed... I'm going to try and change that if it bothers people. Do you prefer chapters this length (about 3,000 words) or longer (5,000+)?  
_


	39. Eyes of Disappointment

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter_ **3**_9_: **E**_yes_ _of _**D**_isappointment_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_A week passed by, and he didn't mention to me what had happened. I don't really blame him for that in hindsight. Still, I would have wished that he didn't wait so long… but really, when we compare who did the worst deed, then it becomes clear who can really stay mad at the other. Who did the worst thing…_

_That would be me… I took something from him without asking. He just kept something from me for a short period of time. I knew, though, that entire week that he was hiding things from me. So, when he finally built up the courage to confess just that I wasn't surprised, just a bit worried._

His golden gaze shifted from the giddily, playing, two week old daughter who was enthralled with the blue blanket that he had given her to his wife. She was just contently watching the scene that was just beside her while she drank some warm tea. It was nearly perfect, if there was a two year old boy there it _would_ be perfect but…

He hated to ruin her delight but he couldn't take it any longer. He _had_ to tell her, he hated keeping secrets from her… so he cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Huh?" Kagome replied with a slight tilt of her head.

"I… I need to tell you something," he knew he was being cowardly by telling her when Keiko was sitting near them. She couldn't - well, wouldn't - get furious with him when she was there, she'd hate to scare her baby. But he was going to tell her then and there anyway. It was rare for them to find a moment alone since she was born, after all, Keiko slept in a cradle beside their futon - well, when she actually felt like sleeping that was. Most nights she didn't.

"What?"

"I love you," he wanted to start it out like that, which got him a smile, "but I lied to you last week."

And, just like he thought, the smile faded instantly.

"About last week, about that day I went to check on the well and didn't come back," the confusion that contorted her face then made him worry and want to stop but he had already started so… "I… I managed to go through… the well that day."

The tea cup slipped from her hand, dropping on the floor to slip out and startle Keiko greatly, but not enough to get her to start to cry. It merely got her to stop laughing and look up from her playing to her mother.

"W… why didn't you tell me?" she stuttered.

"Because I got caught before I could find Hisashi… I had to rush back through the well and I… I was already jumping in when… when I saw him-"

"You _saw_ him?" she choked.

"Yeah," he muttered, "but when I tried to get back through it wouldn't let me - it hasn't opened up since them. I'm sorry I lied… I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I… I just couldn't. He was taken care of like a prince. He had the nicest clothes on."

_I had winced at that when I realized that he got to actually _see _him. I had seen him through what the psychic had shown me but it wasn't real. I didn't get to see him in reality like Inuyasha had… that crushed me a little. Well, a little more than a lot, actually._

But, he couldn't have told her all that before because of the very reason before him, the look of disappointment in her eyes that ate away at him. Then the quietness that followed, the refusal for her to comment, or to talk. Instead she turned her full attention to the daughter he had began to cry, whether it was out of worry from the tension, the fact that she was no longer the center of attention, or something else he didn't know… for the rest of the day, that was pretty much all Kagome did.

For the entire night she barely said two words to him.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

The next morning he went to check the well, as he always did, but this time someone was waiting for him. He still felt guilty over lying to her, for not being able to bring their son to her, but seeing her by the well with _Keiko_ was _not_ alright.

"Kagome," he snapped, "what are you doing here? We agreed that Keiko wouldn't leave the barrier until she was _much_ older!"

"Inuyasha, don't yell," Kagome ordered as she looked over their daughter. At the sound of her father's raised voice, Keiko quickly became on the brink of tears.

"Keiko," he groaned as he took the final steps towards them to reach out and touch in her hopes of calming her down. Still, that didn't answer his question and sure as hell didn't make him feel any better. "Get back behind the barrier, _now_."

"We need to try the well, together, as a family," Kagome countered equally as firm. "You only rushed last time, only came back, because of us, right?"

Yes… that was the case, but he didn't say anything he just frowned and looked down at the well. He could just guess what the next thing she was going to say was and he hardly liked the idea. But, all the same, he stayed silent so she could propose he idea.

"So if we come with you then things will be different this time."

"It's dangerous," he countered, "I don't want you or Keiko getting hurt."

"I want our son back," she nearly whined as she held Keiko tighter and looked to Inuyasha with bent brows. "I want him back so badly… Inuyasha, we need this. We need to do it like this. In case we get stuck on the other side, at least we'd be a family. Please?"

To the plea, to the pout… he gave up. He couldn't argue with him, it was a bad idea but mixed with all the other options it was probably the best. If she was there with Keiko then he wouldn't have anything he needed to rush home to… besides, the chance that the well would actually work for them was low.

So he wrapped his arms around her waist and looked over Keiko who was finally settling down. He hated it when she cried, especially if he was ever the cause, yet he didn't get the chance to pick up his wife and try to jump through the well to see if it would work before a stench caught his attention. His whole body tensed up at that.

And an aura seemed to alert Kagome, because she held Keiko tighter and pressed her body closer to her husband. Neither had to say a thing, they both knew who it was… Naraku.

_I knew it was a risk to leave the barrier with Keiko… I did. I knew what a bad idea it was but I wanted to try and get Hisashi back.. I wanted to. I hoped that just once Naraku wouldn't come and try to ruin things for us. Just once but… he ruined it._

_He always ruined everything. It was his fault that the worlds were collapsing on each other, why so many people were suffering. It went well beyond us, it spread across both worlds, families were being ripped apart everywhere just because he wanted the other shikon no tama. _

_That jewel… what an awful thing it was._

"I see you have a daughter," Naraku declared when he finally came into sight. A wicked, mocking, smirk on his face as he let his hideous red glare wander over the frightened family.

"Stay behind me, Kagome," Inuyasha ordered as he moved her to be right there. "I see _you_ finally decided to be brave enough to come here yourself instead of sending one of your idiot henchmen."

"They've failed me on multiple occasions, the only way to get a job done properly is doing it myself it would seem," Naraku stated as he let his red stare shift over to Kagome, making her ever so uncomfortable. "I'll just kill you both now - well, all three of you actually."

"Inuyasha," Kagome whispered as her hazels shifted up to his husband.

"Get Keiko behind the barrier," Inuyasha mumbled back to her as he removed his fire rat robe to give to Kagome. She took it and quickly wrapped Keiko in it to make her as safe as possible before Inuyasha unsheathed his sword to rush at Naraku in an attempt to distract him.

He needed them to be safe… so she took that as her queue to start to run as quickly as she could down the hill and to the barrier. When she felt herself passing by, she felt better - safer, at least. Since Keiko was behind the barrier she knew that at least she would be safe but what about Inuyasha?

Last time he had a brawl with Naraku he got terribly injured, this time that monster seemed so much more determined… what if he died? She didn't want to have to raise Keiko herself so she found her way as quickly as possible to Sango and Miroku's house and knocked on the door furiously until the former monk answered.

"Kagome-sama, what is wrong?" He asked with a frown as he stepped aside to let her in, "is Keiko-chan fine?"

"Keiko is," she assured him as she swayed her daughter some to keep her from crying, "I need you to watch her, please, keep her safe."

"What's going on?" Miroku inquired while he took Keiko from Kagome as she appeared to want.

"Naraku and Inuyasha are fighting," Kagome answered, "I can't… just leave him to do this on his own."

"So, what? You plan to go help?" Miroku hardly thought that was a good idea, he even bent a brow before he looked to Keiko. "What about Keiko? What if something - Kami forbid - happened to the both of you?"

"What if I don't do anything and something _does_ happen to Inuyasha?" Kagome countered, "please, Miroku, just take care of Keiko?"

"Of course, but -" he couldn't finish the sentence, Kagome was already out the door and rushing towards her house. Once she got within it she rummaged through her things until she found her bow and a set of arrows. She hadn't practiced in a long while, not since before she knew she was pregnant with Keiko but… she just needed to help.

She ran from the house to the edge of the village right before the barrier. What Miroku said was true… what if she went and both Inuyasha and her were - Kami forbid - killed? Then Keiko would grow up with no one. There'd be no hope that Hisashi would ever meet either of them. Plus there was the very real possibility that she would be nothing but a bother to Inuyasha instead of any aid.

That was why she lingered at there for such a long time... until she heard a cry of pain from her husband. That was all it took to get her to run towards the fight that had been taking place. She had full faith in Inuyasha's fighting abilities but Naraku was a problem all the same.

When she reached the area that the fight was taking place, Naraku had Inuyasha pinned down - and he was bleeding pretty badly from whatever side injury he had. She pointed her bow directly at Naraku then and pulled back her string to release it. The arrow ignited in a pink blaze before it struck Naraku square in the shoulder.

It was his turn to cry out in pain as he fell backwards and away from Inuyasha, which gave him the opportunity to leap back up and on his feet. As soon as he could he got over to Kagome, eyeing her with disapproval for her return but he couldn't really complain. Not only did they not have the time to argue, but she did just save his life most likely.

"Stay back," he ordered all the same before rushing at Naraku as he leaped towards them. A constant clash ensued that seemed to never end, and no matter how hard Kagome tried she couldn't aim to hit Naraku without worrying about hitting her husband, too.

Then another scream came from Inuyasha as he got stabbed once again, forcing him to fall to the side and almost drop his sword - but he gripped it tighter just in time. They very last thing they needed was his _other_ side coming out at a time like that.

Again, she pulled another arrow back to shot at Naraku - striking his other shoulder and keeping him away from her husband long enough so that they could get up. It took effort, but he managed to… just barely, though. She would have rushed towards him if not for the fact that Naraku got in the way just then.

A pointed tentacle that would have pierced right threw her if Inuyasha hadn't found the strength to slash it off. Wobbly, he stood in front of her to separate her form any of the danger. It was only then - when they were so close - that she could see how bloodied and damaged he was.

"Inuyasha," Kagome whispered delicately.

"I'm fine," he grunted back, though she was far from convinced at his statement. Without hesitation he ran at Naraku when he came towards them and while he did that Kagome pulled back another arrow just in case. Inuyasha slashed his sword, sparking a ray of gold to cut Naraku leaving him very vulnerable for the arrow that Kagome shot to strike him dead in the center - right where there was a warped aura.

It pierced through him, knocking the shikon no tama right out of him. It only took another shot of gold from Inuyasha's sword to end him - _permanently._ In the rays he faded into nothing but ashes as the jewel dropped to the ground, a terrible tainted purple.

Once he was certain Naraku was no longer a problem Inuyasha collapsed upon the ground. Quickly, he rushed over to kneel down beside him but… he was out cold.

"Inuyasha?" she whispered as she reached out to touch his cheek, it worried her how the warmth seemed to be fading… along with the mass loss of blood. "Don't you dare die," she ordered as she got up to go over and grab the shikon - with her touch, it started to slowly turn into a pink but she barely noticed. She couldn't get Inuyasha back to the village alone so she had to go running back to get Miroku's help.

_I was so scared… that I would lose him. That when we got back he'd be dead but he wasn't, he was still unconscious and with Miroku-sama's help we were able to get him back to our home where Kaede-sama was already waiting to help me try to heal him. _

_That night I really hadn't time for Keiko, so Sango-chan was good enough to tend to her for us. That was the first night I went without her… it was awful, but I barely noticed it, because I was so focused on Inuyasha's well being. Whether he'd make it or not…_

_I didn't want to be a single mother. I couldn't lose Inuyasha._

_And I wouldn't, not yet… I guess I've never fully lost him, it's just what I did lost his relentless love. He loves me, for giving him Keiko - his everything, the one he loves the most now… I'm a bit jealous of her, I know it's wrong, but the way he looks at her is always so happy. _

_When he looks at me, there's a hint of resentment still. He loves me for old time's sake, too, but… I'm almost positive he only stays with me_ because_ of Keiko. He doesn't want her to have to grow up with separated parents. Sometimes, we have flashes of what we once were. _

_It took well into the morning before I realized Inuyasha would live… it was that day that I ruined us. _

* * *

_**A/N:** Yay, Naraku is finally dead, all's well, right...?__ I hope you are still enjoying the story and__ will__continue to_**_ review_.  
**_I appreciate them all, long short, or whatever. They really motivate me to update quicker :) _


	40. What She Did

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter_ **4**_0_: **W**_hat_ **S**_he_ **D**_id_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_It wasn't until morning, until Inuyasha woke up finally, that I was certain he was going to make it. It was such a relief, honestly, I couldn't live without him. Even now, even with all the resentment, with the loss of love, I wouldn't know what to do if he wasn't with me. But, I really have Keiko to thank for that. _

_He wouldn't leave me because of our daughter, that and he promised me he never would and no matter what he is a man of his word. It is one of the many things I love about him. Someday, I hope I can make up for what I did. _

_Someday, I hope we can be one big happy family…_

Relief flushed through her when she watched him wake up. For a while it became clear from his dazed and confused expression that he didn't really realize what was going on. Then his golden gaze fixated on her and he smiled some, she just gave him a bigger one back.

"I love you," she said as she stroked his silver strands. He had to know that, but after such a scare she always felt the need to say it again. No matter what, she always wanted him to know that she loved him - so very much. "How are you feeling?"

An 'hum' was all of he gave her in reply as he shut his eyes again and leaned his head into her touch. She supposed that was about right, all the injuries, loss of blood, and medicine probably made him a woozy, dizzy, and surely he was sleepy. It would be best if he got as much rest as possible, she knew that.

"Sango-chan is watching Keiko right now, if you think it's alright for me to leave you alone I would like to go bring her home now," Kagome explained and waited for a while before he was able to process the information. He nodded after that with approval so she got up, cautiously looking over him once more to make sure he really could survive the short spout of separation that would be required for her to go retrieve their daughter before she left. It was a short distance from her home to that of her friend's and it only took a light knock on the door to get a response. A light one because Kagome was ever so aware how early in the morning it and she the last thing she wanted to do was wake the children that were still probably asleep.

It took almost no time for Sango to answer the door with Keiko in her arms. Kagome smiled when she realized that Keiko was wrapped in the blue blanket that she loved so much. She wasn't sure whether it was just the feel of the fabric that she adored or the fact that she could somehow smell her brother's scent on it still. She liked to think it was the latter.

Gently, she took Keiko from Sango when she handed her off. To that, Keiko gave a gleeful noise once they were reunited. Kagome just happily hugged her back before asking, "How was she? I hope not a problem."

"Well…" Sango slowly started, "not a problem, of course, but I think she was unhappy with being away from her parents."

Hearing that forced a frown to arise on Kagome's lips before she said, "she spent the whole night crying? I'm sorry… you mustn't have got any sleep."

"It's fine, obviously Inuyasha needed his rest more. Besides, it's really the least Miroku and I could do," she assured her as she glanced over her shoulder to see her slumbering children who had fallen asleep in their father's arm the night before in the living room. The sight warmed her heart. "The curse on Miroku's hand disappeared after Narkau died. He'll be fine."

"That's fabulous," Kagome declared with a bright smile before she nodded to her friend then turned to walk back home. Once she got in it seemed like her husband was once again asleep so she just took a seat next to the bed and tried to keep Keiko as quiet as she could. Soft humming and small sways were what it took to finally get her to go to sleep.

"Kagome…?" caught her attention as she glanced up from Keiko to see Inuyasha was stirring once again. With a faint smile she gently placed their daughter down on the futon beside him and then lied right beside her. She had stayed up most the night tending to his wounds and worrying over his well-being, not to mention the inability to sleep a full night since Keiko was born, all meant she was ever so tired.

"How are you feeling?" she whispered.

"Alright," he muttered back as she reached over to run her hand over his cheek. "I'm fine, Kagome."

"You have a funny definition of fine," she replied as she took her hand and placed it on Keiko instead.

"I will _be_ fine soon enough," he corrected but that hardly seemed to please her more.

Mild melancholy laced her words while she gently stroked Keiko and said, "I'm happy she has your eyes, they're so pretty."

"I like that she's got your hair, that she'll probably look mostly like you," he countered with a small smile of his own. "She's the perfect mix…"

_Yes, Keiko is. She's the light of our life… but it was somehow in that moment that I knew what I would do next. I knew it was wrong. I knew it wasn't right for me and my family but at the same time… there were so many other people to think about. So _many_ lives at stake._

_Our happiness was just a grain of sand on a massive beach. It was really nothing in comparison. That's what I keep telling myself at least. It was for the greater good in the end… I ruined my marriage but it _was_ for the great good._

_I just have to keep reminding myself of that. My selflessness - if that's what you really want to call it - is another thing that annoys Inuyasha. He mentions that to me, a lot now. _

"He has your eyes, your hair, he resembles you most, doesn't he?" she whispered, she didn't have to be more specific about it. He knew who she was talking about.

"Yeah, he does," he murmured back.

"I don't think we'll ever see him again," she said with a bitter frown as she sat up and picked up the shikon no tama. "I miss him so much…"

"I do, too, all the time," he replied as he attempted to sit up but he winced and lied back down instead. His golden gaze fixated on the pink jewel before turning up to look at his wife who's hazels were fixated on the jewel that could make their dream come true. "Kagome… you can't. You can't make a wish… wishes always end badly, you know that."

"Only if it is a selfish one," she mumbled back, which finally got her to pry her gaze off of the jewel and down to Keiko.

"It _will_ be, Kagome," he countered. While he didn't see it as selfish to want their son back the jewel probably would and… the last thing he wanted was to get Hisashi back and yet have something horrible happen right after it.

"I know one that won't be," she said with such sorrow as her hazels shifted back to the jewel.

_There was one wish that I knew that only _I_ could make and it wouldn't be selfish. If anyone else in the world made it then it'd be selfish. But… I had every reason for not wanting my wish to come true. That's why it would be gallant or whatever._

_Because it wasn't for me, I was safe behind the barrier, and so was most of my family._

_My brother was still on the other side of the well. My baby boy was still in _my_ world. The world I lived in didn't belong to me… I was born to the other side. The side I knew better. The side I _liked_ better._

Reluctantly, she said so softly that almost even Inuyasha couldn't hear her, "I wish that the two worlds would stop collapsing on each other to stay separate… and that the jewel would disappear forever."

Then she took a shaky breath in as the jewel did just that, it disappeared in her hand which meant that the other half most likely came true again. The worlds wouldn't collapse on each other anymore. There would be no more villages disappearing. There would be no more families torn apart… no more lives lost.

But, as Inuyasha so keenly picked up on, "Kagome! That means that the well will never align again! We really _will_ never see him again!"

_Yes… that was what it meant, and that was my fault. And that's what I did, to lose his relentless love. I took away our son from him. I did it without asking him, without consulting him, and that was wrong with me. Really wrong but.._

_I knew what suffering was going on all around both worlds and I had an opportunity to stop it so I stopped it… at great personal lose myself. I hate myself for it, trust me, I really do. I deserve the harsh looks Inuyasha gives me every once and a while. _

_It's Keiko that makes him happy, Keiko that he loves the most, and I deserve to know I'm second best in his heart. Actually, I don't even know if that's true. I might be lower on that list. _

For a long, painstakingly long time, Inuyasha just stared at her dumbfounded - as if he couldn't have heard what he just heard and didn't see it either. That it was just a dream. But it wasn't… she had really did it. She took away the chance to see his son again.

She took that away from him…

He couldn't believe it. Of all the thing in the world for her to do… how could she have done _that_? In hindsight, he would have been able to look back on the situation and know that if he took out his personal investment in the wish that it was the right thing to do. Both worlds would be safe. People would stop dying, villages would stop disappearing, the worlds would be a happier place but…

But he _did_ have that personal investment. If the worlds aren't collapsing on each other then they can never sync up. If they never sync up then that means… that Hisashi would be lost to them forever. Maybe he did wrong by them by not getting him when he had the chance to go through the well.

_Maybe_.

There was no doubt that what Kagome had just did was ten times worse. Thousand times worse, actually. How… could she have done it?

Yet, he couldn't find his words then to ask - to express his deep and unyielding frustration with her. He really didn't have to, she could tell from the look that he gave her what he was thinking. How mad he was…

The rest of the day he didn't talk to her.

For the rest of the week he could barely look at her…

For a long while, it was like that, the love wasn't gone all together but it was on hiatus.

And she knew that was all her fault… and yes, she hated herself for what she had done but it was what needed to be done. The worlds were dying, and if they continued to collapse as they had been in but a year or two the worlds would have been gone all together. What she did saved millions but she lost what mattered most.

* * *

_**A/N**: So, now you know what she did. _

_Hope you are still enjoying the story and will continue to review._


	41. Expanding Family?

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter_ **4**_1:_ **E**_xpanding _**F**_amily?_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_Almost four years faded away from when I made that wish on the shikon no tama. Still, Inuyasha and I switched off on checking the well but it never worked - and we never did it at the same time. We realized that the only thing that would allow us to go back to something that resembled happiness is if we didn't speak about Hisashi - of the other world. Of what I did…_

_It took months for Inuyasha to forgive me a little. Much more time after that for me to catch him looking at me with something akin to love in his eyes again. I'd say it was a year before we were almost back to contentment. All the while, Keiko was really what held us together._

_What kept him happy…_

_I used to be his world, now she is, but that's fine. I'm happy for her. She has two parents that love her dearly and the greatest father in the world. Sometimes, I catch myself being jealous of the both of them - I know that's wrong. I do._

_I'm jealous of Keiko because of the way Inuyasha loves her, the way he holds her, the way he looks at her, the way she can do no wrong… and I'm envious of my husband because our daughter is daddy's little girl. When she wants something, she runs to him. When she has a nightmare, it's 'daddy' she calls out. When she has exciting news… it's him she goes to first._

_Her first word was daddy, even._

_Four years hasn't made the void that Hisashi left any easier to bear. Four years hasn't meant we've forgotten about him. Four years… means he's six. Six and I don't know where he is, what's happening to him, if he's happy or sad._

_And that's all my fault. I hate myself every day for that. That's why I've never been upset with Inuyasha for the way he acts towards me sometimes. It's my punishment, I deserve it. Even after hearing all the happiness that my wish brought to our world, I don't feel any better about it. I know people are safe and alive today, families are whole, because of what I did._

_But my family isn't, my family is still broken, and it's not fair._

_It's really not fair… but that's just life for you. It's never fair. _

_And fairytales never come true._

He was a weakling, a pansy, a bit pathetic even. It was infuriating, wrong, he should have been mad… he should have been able to hold it against her and try to teach her a lesson but it was impossible. She was too damn cute, and the way she pouted when she knew she did something wrong. Her big gold eyes would just shimmer up at him

Yes, she broke a tea pot and yes it was the second time that month that she did that. It wasn't acceptable, she wasn't supposed to run around all over the place in the house. But he couldn't scold her when she looked at him like that, when she pouted, when she said, "daddy…" in her sweet little whine.

A groan left his lips as he looked away from her. It wasn't going to happen, he couldn't do it, so he turned his golden gaze to his wife who had just finished cleaning up the mess their daughter made. It took a few moments for her to notice the stare and it took a lot more effort to withhold a sigh.

He didn't have to say it, she knew what that look meant. _I can't so you do it_. He could never do it. He _always_ forced her to play the bad one. _She_ had to keep her grounded or else she'd always be off in la-la land. But it wasn't fair… she didn't always want to be the one that upset Keiko so she bent her brows and gave a pleading look to him.

Still, he shook his head. He couldn't do it. Which meant… she walked over and knelt down in front of Keiko. The pleading look her daughter gave her mixed with the big golden gaze made it hard but not impossible. She couldn't get away with everything, she had to be taught a lesson or else she'd never behave.

"Keiko," Kagome slowly, sternly, said. "You know you aren't supposed to run around _in_ the house. You are not going to get to go outside and play with Masaaki and the others tonight."

"Mama!" Keiko cried out but she stopped her needless pleas when Kagome raised a hand.

"That's your punishment for breaking another tea pot. If you behave then you will get to go out and play tomorrow."

"Daddy," Keiko dragged out as she frowned and looked up to him, but he just gave her a sorry look and shook his head. He would not hand out the punishment but he also wasn't about to counteract her mother's order. So, she stomped off to her room and shouted, "This isn't fair!"

"That's life for you," Kagome whispered to herself, knowing Inuyasha could hear her well but he didn't argue with that. He didn't say anything actually as he shook his head and walked over to sit down next to the window.

_It was nearly four years to the day I made the wish. Around that time every year he got a bit more cold and stand-offish towards me. The farther away we were from that date, the better things were between us. Then around our son's birthday he'd get the same way. It was an impossible cycle. _

_I love him. He loves me still but it's difficult… _

Hesitantly, Kagome made her way over to sit next to her husband. For a while he didn't make any sort of acknowledgment until he finally looked over to him. Sometimes, she felt like he should be more thankful that she was always willing to take the heat with Keiko. Then she'd remember what she did and… well, she was just thankful that he stayed.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," he said to spark a pain of sorts. But he explained it further after a pause, "Sein village, it's about two days trip to the east, is in need of some pest control. It shouldn't take that long, I'll be gone maybe a week."

"Oh," Kagome whispered before nodding lightly, "but… you just got back from your last job."

"I can't help that there are demons out there that need killing, Kagome," Inuyasha countered.

"Daddy!" caught their attention once more as Keiko ran over to leap over and wrap her arms around his neck. He quickly reached out to hold her in place. "No! Don't go! I want to go with! I want to!"

"Keiko," Inuyasha drew out as he glanced over to Kagome, but she just shook her head. She wasn't going to help him this time around. "You know you can't come with me when I'm working."

"But daddy… you can't leave," she whispered.

"I'm sorry. I will be back as soon as possible," he replied. Usually, he let her follow him anywhere and everywhere but when he was going on a job she wasn't allowed to come. Even outside of the barrier if she wanted, now that the worlds weren't colliding and Naraku was long dead and gone there wasn't really that big of a threat outside.

"You'll just have to stay with your mom," he added.

To that, Keiko pouted as she sat down in her dad's lap.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It took two days for them to reach Sein and another two to bring a stop to their demon problems. As it happened sometimes, the village gathered for a celebration but Inuyasha hardly felt I the mood so instead he returned to the inn room they were given. For the job they were given plenty for their family's well being.

He didn't make it all the way to the room, though, before a sight caught his attention. A family, some locals it would appear, were happily together seemingly having their own celebration of being rid of the demon problems. The husband and wife were arm in arm with each other, smiling grandly at the sight of their two children - one boy, one girl.

They were _authentically_ happy in a way his family hadn't been since the first week of Keiko's life. For so long… there had been a gapping absence. Not just the hole that not having their son left them but the loss of trust and maybe even a little of love between him and Kagome. He just wanted perfection like the family in front of him had.

He wanted to be that happy… that whole.

On the other hand, ever since Kagome made that wish on the shikon all that time ago - that wish that took so much from their family - the world in general became a happier place it seemed. Back when he used to do jobs with Miroku before the wish there was always an air of sadness, of worry, of utter dread even though people tried to ignore it - tried to pretend like it wasn't there.

Slowly, after the wish, people began to realize that all the horrors had magically stopped… gradually, those feelings disappeared and life became normal everywhere. Except for the occasional evil spirit or demon attack, life was good.

Apparently, not long after the party started, Miroku decided to take a leave as well because he soon arrived beside his friend. It didn't take the violet eyed man long to notice what Inuyasha was staring at so intently. For a while, he just stood there in silence together.

Then, the once upon a time monk had to ask, "how are things going between the two of you lately?"

"What are you talking about?" Inuyasha countered absently.

He just eyed him for that lame answer. It wasn't hard for their friends to figure out that there were issues with Kagome and Inuyasha's marriage and there had been for a long time. Sometimes it seemed like those problems were gone all together and the next moment it appeared like they were worse than ever. Lately, Miroku could tell that Inuyasha preferred it when he was away and working. For the past four years, he had done a lot of that. More than even Miroku was willing to do.

"Inuyasha, in all candor, how are things between you and Kagome?" Miroku questioned once more.

Well, if his friend was going to be persistent then he supposed he hadn't much of a choice. When Miroku wanted an answer to something then he just didn't stop. So, Inuyasha turned his gaze to the violet eyed girl then said, "things are fine."

"Liar," he stated sharply.

"Things are usually fine it's just… around now it's hard. It's not that I don't love her, obviously I love her," or else he would have left a long time ago. Well, that probably wasn't true. Even if he didn't love her, he was pretty sure he would have stayed for Keiko's sake. That and he had promised Kagome he'd never leave, and even though she made that horrible wish she was still his wife and mother of his children. It wasn't like he didn't know she suffered, too, from the wish.

She suffered just as much, if not more, than him over it.

"It's just… she didn't even ask me. She just did it."

"What she did saved many, many, lives," Miroku pointed out, but he knew that didn't change how Inuyasha felt. He had said just that multiple times in the past. They had the same conversation thousands of times.

"I know," Inuyasha whispered.

"You can't resent her for that forever," Miroku reminded him, as he did so many times before.

"I don't resent her," he asserted back, "it's not that I'm mad at her anymore… it's just hard around this time. I miss him still. It only makes it worse if I'm around them and then this job came up so I left for it, that's all."

"I'm sure she misses him, too."

"I know," but he wanted to add that it was _her _decision to end the possibility of getting him back. She had made the wish and she did it without asking him… they were forever going to miss him and that was her fault.

He still loved her… but he didn't know if there could ever be _no_ resentment within him for what she did. He made sure it was as small as possible, as nonexistent as possible, but it was hard sometimes. Especially around that time of the year.

Especially when he missed his son so much…

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It took only a day to return from Sein, since Inuyasha seemed to be in such a hurry he rushed them along. There was obviously something on his mind. Miroku was hoping that it had something to do with their talk. Maybe the two would finally rekindle what they used to have and all those problems would finally disappear for good?

It was well into the night when he finally made it back home, quietly he crept through the house to find his wife and daughter in their futon sound asleep. That would hardly do, so he lifted Keiko up gently, held her for a short while to make up for lost time - it always bothered him when he was away from her. Then he took her to her bedroom and tucked her in.

If it wasn't for the fact that he reached out to grab the blue blanket to place it beside her then he was pretty sure that Keiko would have gotten up and come back to bed with them at some point in the night. When he was away, he found that she pretty much always slept with Kagome. Even when he was there, their daughter was often in bed with them. He didn't really mind.

She wasn't really interrupting anything. They used to have so much sex but… since Keiko they maybe did it once a month at most. They were both too focused on other things - Kagome on tending to their family, him on work. They were drifting apart and he didn't know how to stop it.

When he got back to bed he crawled under the sheets and started to run his hands along the curves of her body until she started to stir. It took a couple more soft tries until she turned from lying on her side not facing him to being on her back. Slowly, she let her lids open to see that it was her husband. Not that that was very surprising no one would dare mess with Inuyasha's wife.

"Hey, you," she whispered as her hazels shifted across the futon.

"I put her in her own bed," Inuyasha explained, guessing that Keiko was what she was looking for. "I want to talk to you about something."

"Oh…?" That hardly sounded good so she woke herself up more to be fully focused.

"I think… that it's time that we think about expanding our family," he began as he placed his hand upon her stomach. "It's not like you are getting any younger."

"I'm only twenty-six," she shrieked.

"Then we've got what? Another four years to have kids? Who's to say that we only want one more? I think… we should have two more so we need to get started pronto."

For a long while, she just stared at him with wide eyes and parted lips. Really, it seemed to come out of nowhere. They hadn't spoken about that option… well, ever. Not once had he expressed an interest in having another child. Actually, she had been reluctant to have another child with him - she had tried to avoid that from happening. He still resented her for what she did, for closing off the option of them getting their son back for good.

But… she also had always known that he wanted a son. Every man did, didn't they? She'd catch him looking with slight envy at the way Miroku was with Masaaki sometimes.

_I suppose he wanted another child to finally try to replace the son we lost. The one that I didn't allow him to have… so I felt obligated to try and provide him with another, if that was what he truly wanted. Apparently, that was exactly what he wanted._

The way he looked at her in that moment held complete conviction, he knew exactly what he was saying and probably had thought about it long and hard so… she found herself saying, "alright."

"Then let's get started," he requested as he bent down to place his lips to hers. Without hesitation and with great haste their clothes were cast aside. Her body arched to his touch - it had been so long - to the feeling of his warm breath on her skin. But she knew ahead of time that they weren't going to have tender, deep, soulful sex.

They hadn't for ages… they just had sex. Their bodies just went through the motions. Sometimes she felt truly loved, other times it seemed like he was just using her for a release.

His hand found its way up her inner thigh to her slowly throbbing area, the place that became moist the more contact they had. The sensation he sparked by caressing her below. In the old days, she didn't have to restrain herself, she could have let out any moans as she moved her hips along with his rhythm.

Now she had to worry about Keiko next door, they needed to make sure that they didn't wake her. It was hard for him, too, to restrain himself particularly when he thrust in to feel her around him. She gasped and gripped him tighter as he promptly began his pumps in and out.

Their bodies mixed together that night, time and time again, in hopes that it would work. That they would be able to fill the void that was in their lives with another child. It was a new hope… it had been so long since they had _had_ hope.

_I love him, I love Keiko, I love the idea of having a happy family but… I don't know if we ever will get that. I don't know if we can ever be together again. I don't… because things just got more complicated. Things always got more complicated._

_It's not fair. It's so not fucking fair. _

* * *

_**A/N**: Thank you so much for all the reviews for the last chapter! I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy the story still.  
_


	42. Welcome Back, Kagome

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter_ **4**_2:_ **W**_elcome _**B**_ack, _**K**_agome_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

_I think that my family deserves a happy ending. I do. I think that we deserve to be full again - in one piece. I don't know if that will ever happen. If we'll ever be able to be together again… because we always seem to be separated._

_None of us ever seem to be able to be together at once… I don't understand why this keeps happening to us. I really don't. _

In a way, she was happy. Granted, life was far from perfect, but ever since Inuyasha decided he wanted a new addition to the family he had taken a hiatus of sorts from work. It wasn't a problem, they had plenty from all his extra efforts, so that meant they got to spend more family time together. He even seemed… happy.

He'd shot her more loving looks, his touch was more tender, at nights he would actually hold her even if Keiko was in bed with them. Maybe things could finally go back to how they used to be? Maybe… he was finally letting go?

Even if it was true, they both continuously checked on the well. Never at the same time, never did they talk about it, but there was one thing they agreed on. Keiko was _not_ allowed to go to the well, just in case something ever happens. That was why she panicked so quickly when she found her daughter playing around the well one morning with Masaaki.

What really made her worry was the fact that Keiko was walking around the rim of it. Quickly she ran over to grab her and place her down on the ground. Her hazels narrowed upon her daughter as she harshly wagged a finger and said, "don't you dare do that again. Do you understand me?"

"Mama," Keiko whined but to no avail.

"We are sorry," Masaaki mumbled as he casted her violet eyes downward.

It wasn't her place to scold Masaaki, if Miroku and Sango wished to once she told them what they were up to then that was their choice. So, she grabbed her daughter's hand firmly and reached out to take Masaaki's as well to lead them away but… something caught her attention. A warmth around her neck, slowly her hand raised up to touch her pearl necklace - her wedding gift from her husband.

It was oddly warm… slowly Kagome's hazels turned to the well.

"Mama?" Keiko questioned with a slight tilt of her head, which caught her attention back so she finally grabbed Masaaki's hand and led them back to the village and to Sango and Miroku's home.

"Did they do something?" Sango questioned as she swayed her second son, Minoru, on her hips. He was still small and hardly ever left her side. And, if Sango was to be believed, it was their last child. Four was plenty for her, but Kagome believed Miroku wouldn't mind another. Something about having a big family made him very happy.

Sometimes, she found herself especially envious of their big and blissful family…

"They were playing around the well, Masaaki wasn't doing much but Keiko thought it was a good idea to walk around the rim," just to show her displeasure, she shot her daughter a look that made her quickly coward behind her friend. Little Masaaki and Keiko were ever so close, even though there was about a two year age gap between the two. Often, her and Sango would joke about the prospect of the two marrying each other when they grew up. That way their families could be connected.

"Masaaki, I told you not to go to near it," Sango reminded him with a wag of her finger.

"Sorry," he muttered with a frown as he casted his eyes to the ground.

"Can you watch Keiko for me for a bit?" Kagome asked, "I want to check on something and Inuyasha is off picking up groceries for the week."

"Sure, not a problem, kids just play - _peacefully_ - inside the house."

"Be good," Kagome requested before she gave Keiko a quick hug. It took her a short while to get back to the well… she just had a weird feeling earlier. It was probably nothing since when she got there again she didn't have the same sensation spark through her as before. Silently, she walked up to the edge of the well and looked down. It was only then that her brow raised as she leaned down, there seemed to be something on the bottom - something that faintly glowed to catch her attention.

"What the...?" she whispered to herself as she grabbed one of the vines and climbed over to start her way down the well slowly. When she landed on the bottom she wasn't surprised - not even disappointed anymore - to realize that the well didn't work. Instead she just knelt down and touched the spot that seemed to have a glow.

Faded wasn't the right word, it was like it _was_ there but at the same time not. Like the air hid it. Maybe it was the dirt…? So she started to dig some to try and uncover what it was. On her fourth dig something happened.

Something life altering.

The well seemed to activate and she found herself quickly falling into the blue wonder that she had only been in once before in her life. The place between both worlds. She couldn't breathe - it wasn't happening, was it…? Then it faded away and she found herself on the other side.

It had to be the other side… right?

When she finally took a breath in again and moved to stand up she caught sight of what had earned her attention. Gradually she picked up a rather strange coin - one that had what appeared to be a shikon shard embedded in the center. In the midst of everything, that was hardly the most pressing question so she just put it away to examine it later.

She had wished for the two words to separate so how was this happening?

It took a series of deep breaths for her to find the courage to grab a vine and start to climb her way out of the well. When she got there what she saw made her ache. She was in the concrete courtyard where everything really began. Where she had first met Inuyasha… where he had slowly worked his way into her heart.

Back then, it had all been a lie.

"Who are you?" snapped her out of her daze and quickly got her heart pounding as she stood up straight and looked to the women who was eyeing her strangely.

Oh, Kami, she was already caught?

"Uh, I…"

"I've never seen you before, so you must not work here," the rather plump women stated as she folded her arms and looked over her closer.

Stuttering Kagome answered, "y-yes that's true bu… but—"

"But you are here for the opening?" she guessed.

"Yes," she chimed, though she hadn't the faintest idea of what she was talking about.

"You really shouldn't be wandering the castle like this, the interviews will be held in the main lobby in about an hour, you should go there." The woman explained before she added, "from your outfit I gather you are a traditionalist, huh? I think we could use more of those around here. Nowadays every is always wearing western outfits. Where's their cultural honor?"

"I don't know," was all Kagome could think to say to that before the woman began to walk off. Apparently, that was an easy excuse. If anyone asked what she was doing there she was there for an interview.

But that woman was right, she couldn't just wander around or else someone might try to catch her like they had Inuyasha when he came. She needed a legit reason for being around there, one that would allow her to get to her son without being noticed.

_I was in such a daze when I first got here that I didn't even know what to do… I probably stood in the courtyard for a stupid length of time just trying to gather myself. I was through the well. I was… maybe going to get my son back?_

_But… the well hadn't worked in over four years. What if it takes another four for me to get back? What if…? That's what I'm scared of… what kept me from moving for so long._

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"What's the job opening for?" she inquired to one of the women who had stepped out of the main lobby to smoke a cigarette. She knew it was probably a stupid question, and expected the harsh look she got, but she still found her answer.

"Kado needs a new caretaker," the women began, "so the best nanny's get the chance to interview to take on the duty. As you might expect, it'd be a great honor to be able to watch over him. He is so important, after all."

Kado…? Kagome hadn't a clue who that was, if it weren't for what the women added next she might not even be able to figure it out.

"He's six now, you know, so he won't be that hard to watch. It would have been worse when he was a toddler."

A boy in the castle, who was six, that needed a caretaker… who else could it have been but her son? That was what she was hoping for, at least. So she opened the door some to take a look at all the women waiting, each with paper in their hands. If she had to guess, it was probably their resume.

It wasn't something she could just walk into, she had to be _invited_ - which, she obviously wasn't. Her wandering hazels landed on a man in the middle of all of them and instantly her stomach turned. She felt sick just seeing him… Watanabe.

"I'll be conducting the interviews in about thirty minutes, please be patient, also keep in mind if you miss me calling out your name and do not report to me within a minute then you might as well leave. I am looking for someone who is reliable and punctual," he stated before he exited to the room on the opposite side.

Well, shit, if Watanabe was going to do it then she could hardly walk in there. After all, he knew what she looked like. In less… she got a disguise and somehow managed to steal one of the women's resumes and make sure that she missed her interview slot. Why couldn't something just be easy for once?

Thirty minutes, she had exactly that long to figure out what she was going to do. Standing in one spot would hardly help so she started to wander the castle until she caught sight of what appeared to be a maid, if she had to guess from the outfit. The room she went into was marked especially for the help, too.

For a while she just stood there, surely that could be helpful somehow. Then the women came out, in regular clothes with her bag, and started down the hallway again. So she went in and saw it was the changing room, quickly she took off her outfit and slid on a maid's one instead, then returned to the waiting room.

Her eyes scanned around the crowd, it wasn't hard to go by unnoticed when everyone thought she was just the help. And, luckily, Watanabe wasn't around to see her.

"Hey," went by unnoticed until it was repeated and accompanied by a grab of her arm. A plumped face, curly haired, women sat there, "why don't you get me some tea?"

_Why don't you do it yourself? _was on the tip of her tongue but she bit back her desire to say that and just smiled before she left the room. It seemed like a prime opportunity so she found her way to the kitchen and asked a cook for some tea for one of the interview people.

"You new?" he asked as he glanced over her.

"Yeah," she replied simple enough.

Thanks to her herbal experience, she knew that within the garden in the corner of the courtyard was a planet that if mixed in with a drink could make someone very sick - very sick quickly, too. It wouldn't kill her, just make her rush out of the room for a prolonged period of time. It'd make her miss her slot… and Kagome could take her resume and pretend to be her instead.

That was why when she went back into the room and gave the women her tea she waited for a couple of minutes before it seemed to take effect. In quite the rush, the women got out of her seat and rushed out of the room. She was even kind enough to leave her resume in her seat for Kagome to pick up and walk out.

It wasn't a surprise to her to see that the woman was from Osaka, she had thought she had an accent from earlier. For once, things seemed to be aligning for her. While growing up one of her good friends was from there and she felt she could fake it well enough to appear to be from Osaka herself but she couldn't go to the interview in the maid's outfit so she went and got her yukata back.

Still, that didn't fix the problem that she _looked_ like herself. Watanabe, even if six years had passed by, would probably still recognize her. Thus she went through the lockers in the room to try and find something that would help. A pair of scissors and very weak prescription glasses seemed to be her answer.

Reluctantly she found a bathroom and locked the door before taking her place in front of the sink. A frown surfaced as she started to run her hand through her hair. She _always_ had long hair but… if she cut it short it would be harder to recognize her. So, with unwillingness, she did just that until it was an even cut right that reached right under her chin.

Then she put on the glasses, it made things just a bit blurry but when she looked in the mirror she hardly recognized herself. After all of that, surely more than thirty minutes had passed, so she prayed she didn't miss the women's name being called out.

"Tanaka Yuuka," was, thankfully, summoned shortly after she re-entered the room. Which just so happened to be the name on her resume so she took a deep breath in to gather her courage and then walked to the back room where… Watanabe was waiting.

"Tanaka-san," he greeted as he held out his hand for her to hand him the resume.

"Watanabe-sama," she replied with a nod of her head before she sat down across from him.

"You look… familiar," he said after he glanced up from the resume to look over her features again.

"I don't believe we've ever met," she stated, doing her utmost to add in the Osaka accent she used to fake so often when she was young. He just nodded then as his gaze wandered over her once more - it made her a little ill - before returning to the application.

"You have very impressive recommendations and history as a caretaker. What makes you think that you are best suited for the position?"

"I'm full confident that I simply will be better at the job than any of them," she stated, completely sincerely. She was after all the biological mother - well, if Kado was her son - and thus she_ would_ do a better job. That was merely a fact.

"I like your self-assurance," Watanabe grinned before he placed the piece of paper down, "any specifics?"

"I like to think of the child as my own, I'd treat it like I would my own flesh and blood. That's why I've always done so well."

"What if the child is misbehaving, what would you do then?"

She paused briefly, before deciding on the right answer - at least, what she thought Watanabe would like. "He would be punished, of course. If you don't teach the child a lesson, then he'll merely repeat his mistake over and over again."

"You are aware of Kado's importance, I am sure," Watanabe supposed, he waited all the same for her to nod, "he will be the answer to our world's prayer. Some people treat him like a prince thus, would you? Would you spoil him like that?"

"There are other people to do that, if I spoiled him he wouldn't respect me. If he didn't respect me then I wouldn't be able to properly take care of him. He wouldn't listen to me."

He seemed to like that answer because his smile never disappeared as he nodded his head and wrote something on her resume, and though she tried she couldn't see what it was.

"I see you are a traditionalist," he pointed out as he glanced over her yukata again. "I appreciate that."

"Our culture is important," she replied.

"That it is," he assured, "there are a few other applications, afterwards I will announce the one I have chosen. I assume you can start immediately?"

"I could start now," Kagome asserted, which only got him to smile a bit more.

"One more thing, as you might have heard, Kado's former caretaker is leaving because she is getting married and having a child. If you are picked for this job, you can't have either of those things. Do you understand?"

She had a husband and a daughter, but Watanabe didn't know that so it was easy for her to say, "of course. I understand completely."

And then she left to wait, the painstaking hour it took to get through the other applicants… it was even worse the way Watanabe dragged out his speech of how much he appreciated everyone coming from all over to try out for the position. But, in the end it was worth it because he said:

"The one I have chosen to take on the role as Kado's caretaker is Tanaka Yuuka."

_For all the bad luck my family had suffered through… finally, luck was on my side. Yet… I'm still stuck here. In the world away from my daughter and husband. I don't know why fate is so cruel. Really, I don't._

_Things are so unfair sometimes. _


	43. How the Story's Told

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter_ **4**_3:_ **H**_ow_ _the_ **S**_tory's_ **T**_old_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It shocked her. For a long while she just stood there staring at the familiar face with her lips a little parted. It shouldn't have been such a surprise. Almost everyone had an other, and she had known Sango's before she knew the Sango of Inuyasha world. So seeing her across the market shouldn't have kept her in such a daze.

That day she would start as Kado's caretaker, she was scheduled to meet him that afternoon. In the morning she moved into the room meant just for whoever had her duty. Apparently, in her bewilderment and staring Sango seemed to notice her. At first she seemed confused until she walked closer and looked at her closer.

"Ka… Kagome-chan?" Sango inquired with hesitance. "Is… that you?"

She tensed up at that, would Sango turn her in if she said it _was_ her? No… they were friends. Really close friends before she left. Sango would keep her secret, wouldn't she?

"Hi, Sango-chan," Kagome greeted with a weak smile as her hazels shifted around the busy market where she had gone to just gather some groceries. It didn't take long after that for Sango to invite her back to her home, a home that seemed far more cozy than it once was.

"Where've you been?" Sango asked, and that's all it took for Kagome to start on the long, long, story that had been building up for so long. From when she was a child and told that story, to what she convinced Inuyasha to do while she was pregnant the first time, to falling into the well and his world, then of Naraku and even Keiko. She even spoke of the past four years and the loss of love, of the constant resentment.

In the end, Sango was still there, listening in amazement of all that had occurred. "Of course, Kagome-chan, I won't tell a soul what you're doing here. What's going on… it makes so much sense, four years ago the world became more peaceful. I always thought it had something to do with Kado, Watanabe-sama always said it did, but it was really you…?"

Kagome nodded her head as she ran her hand through her shortened hair, she was hardly used to it yet. "Do you know why they are keeping him? If he isn't of use anymore, whatever use they thought he was in the first place. The worlds aren't colliding anymore, after all."

"I don't know," Sango replied with a small shake of her head.

"But… aren't you a guard?"

"No, not anymore, I resigned two years ago." A smile laced her lips as she placed her hand on her stomach and said, "I got married then, we're expecting our first child now."

"Oh, congratulations, Sango-chan, that's so nice to hear!"

"His name is Miroku," of course, Kagome had expected that. "We met shortly after you left. He didn't live near so we weren't really anything for a long while. We just had a long distance relationship, we kept in contact, but five years ago his town disappeared… I was worried sick for weeks before he showed up at my door step. Apparently he was away on business when it happened."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kagome whispered.

"Yes, back then things were getting really bad… so he moved in with me. Two years later we got married. We wanted to start a family sooner but… it wasn't working. I'm just glad that we're expecting now," Sango said with a warm smile, "he's away on business right now, but when he returns I would like it if you met him."

"I would like that, as well," Kagome assured her.

"And, of course, if there is any way I can help you while you are here, I will try my best," she added.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Her supervisor, a tall, lanky, women by the name of Saito Yumiko summoned her from her chambers to lead her just down the hallway to a room with double doors that once opened revealed a place fit for a prince. Upon the bed that probably three people could easily sleep in was a little boy who's eyes were fixated outside the window.

It took her supervisor saying, "Kado," to get him to look over to them. Instantly she knew it had to be her son and it took her breath away. His eyes were the same gold as Inuyasha's, his hair the same silver, his skin tone the same as his father's, even the expression on his face - a stoic yet annoyed look - was so _Inuyasha_. He was definitely his father's son.

"I'll leave you two to get acquainted," Yumiko declared before she left the room, closing the doors behind her.

"You're my new caretaker," Kado assumed with a dull stare as he glanced over her with his golden gaze. Still, she hadn't the ability to breath or else she might have said something in return. Instead, her hazels just shifted along his body to memorize what he looked like - just in case they were ever torn apart again. The amazed look on her face tied with the fact that her lips were ajar made Kado roll his eyes before looking back out the window.

"Yes, yes, it's _me_ - Kado - now get over it and speak already, woman," he ordered.

She couldn't help but smile at that, the way he said woman was so much like the way Inuyasha did. How could they be so alike yet never have actually met? Finally she took a breath in as she stepped forward and knelt down in front of the bed beside Kado.

"Hello, I am K," she stopped herself, she wasn't Kagome, not here so she cleared her throat and said, with an Osaka accent, "Yuuka. Tanaka Yuuka and I will be your caretaker. I'm very happy to finally meet you."

"Great," he replied sarcastically. "So, here's the deal, I don't like or need to be babied. I don't even want a caretaker. You are only needed to get me food—"

"Now," Kagome interrupted which earned a hard glare from Kado, "let me make something very clear. I am going to take care of you, properly. You are six so you don't know what I should be doing."

"I know I don't need anything from you," he countered coarsely.

"Right, you don't need me for anything but food?" She asked with a small pout, "fine then, it's almost lunch so why don't I go get you some ramen?"

"Didn't they tell you anything?" he retorted with a lifted brow and narrowed eyes, "I have a strict diet that must be followed and ramen isn't in it."

"Oh, yes, that's right, rice and fish and sometimes miso soup," she responded with a small nod of her head, "is that really all you've ever eaten?"

"Yes," he muttered, "now go get me lunch, woman."

She rolled her eyes at that while she stood up, "my name is _Yuuka_, not woman."

"I need food, _Yuuka_," he dragged out rater harshly.

"You are a very poor mannered boy," she stated, it was then that she realized she had the perfect thing to add - to answer a question that had been plaguing her for so long. Did he have foster parents? Did he have people he _thought_ was his real mom and dad? "Your parents must not have taught you very well…"

"You are a surprisingly dumb woman, I thought they would have picked a smarter person," he grumbled, "obviously my parents taught me nothing because I don't have any."

"Oh…?" she whispered.

"Oh," he mocked, "I wasn't born like everyone else but just appeared as answers to the people's prays, so I don't have any."

What a horrific lie, she wanted to scream over it. That certainly wasn't what really happened. She remembered clearly carrying him and giving birth to him. He did _not_ just appear. It was infuriating that Watanabe had told him such.

"You did know that, didn't you? Or are you that dumb?"

"Of course," she chimed as she stood up and brushed her yukata off, "that doesn't change the fact that you are a rude little boy. You need to behave yourself better."

He gave some off-hand remark as she walked away and out of the room to find her way to the kitchen. There she was given space to make whatever she wanted - as Tanaka Yuuka, Kado's caretaker, she could really do whatever she wanted. He was the boy that would save their world and since she took care of him she was of importance, too.

Instead of preparing the boring rice and simple fish she made Inuyasha's favorite dish - ramen. Usually, Inuyasha liked it with plenty of kick, lots of spices and such, but since Kado had apparently been eating boring food all his life if she spiced it up too much then he'd probably not like it. It really seemed like some sort of child abuse to force him to eat the same thing three times a day all his life.

It didn't take her long once she finished the dish to make it back up to Kado's room where he was still waiting, albeit it impatiently. Since the moment she got in he asked, "what took so long?"

"I was making you lunch," she stated simply as she set the bowl down on the desk and waved him over. Curiously, he slid off the bed and walked over and looked over the steaming dish. It wasn't right. It obviously wasn't fish and rice. "It's ramen," she explained.

"I'm supposed to have—"

"I know, but if you don't tell anyone neither will I," she whispered with a wink. He seemed to agree with that, since he sat down and started to slowly eat. She loved the expressions upon his face while he ate, apparently he enjoyed the dish thoroughly because he ate it all. He even gave her a small smile when it was all done with. He was a bit cold, detached, and apparently had a short temper but if he could smile like that then there was hope.

She could connect with him. She could convince him to love her like she did him. She could find a way to get them on the other side of the well.

"This is going to be our little secret, isn't it?" Kagome questioned with a smile of her own.

He nodded at that, eagerly, "are we going to have more secrets?"

"If you would like, we could have plenty more," she promised.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

From her balcony she could see the well, the well she wasn't about to try out. Even if it did work, she couldn't get Kado down it yet and without him she wasn't leaving. She had been there two days… Inuyasha had no way of knowing where she went. She hadn't mentioned that she was going to check the well, she just left Keiko with Sango and said she'd be back.

Inuyasha could guess, maybe he could eventually guess where she was. It hurt to be separated from her daughter and husband but it was necessary for now. She could survive a while longer without them if it meant. She wasn't going to miss the chance to get her son back, not like Inuyasha had all those years ago.

She was going to get her son back and they were going to have a happy family. They were finally going to be _happy_ and Inuyasha would have to forgive her. They could be in love like the used to. She was going to fix everything… she just had to.

Those thoughts were snapped away when she saw a figure walking in the courtyard, it took her narrowing her eyes and focusing more on the darkness to realize it was Watanabe. She didn't know why, but somehow she felt it was a necessity to follow him so she got up and found her way down to the area to start to follow him through the seemingly endless corridors.

They eventually led her to a rather massive room, she lingered behind a corner for a long while until she saw Watanabe leave. When she leaned over and saw him turn another corner she slowly crept over to the door to open it up and look out to see if she could catch a glimpse of anything.

What she saw within it was… strange to say the least. A machine of sorts, in a circle, with four pins to hold something in place in the middle. She bent her brow as she slid into the empty room to glance around some more. Her hands wandered the desks and the papers all over it.

One paper had a sketch of the machine, but in the middle of the machine was meant to be a person it would seem… what the hell was the machine for? She had no idea so she shook her head and exited the room, shutting the door securely behind her.

"What are you doing here?" startled her so much that she jumped and looked over to see Watanabe standing there with a lifted brow. "It's late, shouldn't you be in bed, Tanaka-san?"

"Oh," she mumbled, "uh… you see, the castle is big and I have a bad sensation of direction. I have trouble sleeping in new places, too. I'm sure I will get used to it soon enough but until then I like… like to go on walks."

"You know," Watanabe whispered as he placed a hand beside the wall next to Kagome's head. "I have always found the accent from Osaka very attractive."

"O-Oh?"

"If you wish," he started as he brushed her hair out of her face, "I could direct you to a nicer part of the castle, personally."

It was a truly sickening feeling to be hit on by Watanabe of all people. Certainly he meant to show her somewhere private and the last thing she wanted was to be left alone with him. So, she swallowed back the disgust and said, "no, thank you. I think I remember my way back to the courtyard, from there it's not hard to find my room."

"Then, have a good night, Tanaka-san."

"Good night, Watanabe-sama," she answered with a small bow of her head before she began to walk away.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

As long as she was on this side of the well, she felt the need to find her baby brother. She had missed Souta for so long… the other-Souta was good and all but it wasn't her baby brother. Not really hers. So she dearly wanted to go find him, go see him, speak to him.

But, if she asked for leave all of a sudden to return to her home village to see him that would draw too much attention to herself. Watanabe already thought her strange so… instead she went to her supervisor and asked, "can I take Kado on a trip?"

And what she got in return was a raised brow, "why would you want to do that? You know Kado isn't supposed to leave the castle."

She wanted to ask if it was true that he never had but she bit her tongue and didn't say a word. Instead she just withheld a sigh and nodded. That plan hardly panned out… but she was sure she'd figure something else out.

"Good morning, Kado," she greeted as she entered his room. He wasn't even dressed for the day, he just sat on the ground staring at some of his toys. If she had to guess, he probably wasn't fully awake yet. "How are you today?"

"Spring is about to start," he answered while his sunlit stare shifted to the window, "I hate spring."

"Why?"

He just shrugged a shoulder before saying, "it's a stupid season."

"But, it's such a happy season, everything is blooming, the weather starts getting nicer, it's one of my favorite," she replied as she walked over to sit down next to him.

"Everything that blooms only dies later, what's the point?"

"I try not to think about it like that," she answered with a small frown, "are you alright, Kado?"

Finally, his gaze shifted to her as he said, "spring is like you."

"Like me?"

He nodded, "it comes only to go. You'll just leave, just like all the other caretakers, don't try to pretend otherwise. I don't want to be friends with you."

She parted her lips to reply to that but couldn't, not right away at least. It was so… so heartbreaking, so sad, it made her eyes sting. All this time… he might have gotten the nicest things but he wasn't ever allowed to leave the castle. He didn't have friends his own age to play with, he didn't have a family that loved him, he didn't even have one constant in his life… all those that were there to take care of him eventually left.

All this time, her son had been suffering. More than anything she wanted to change that. Without really thinking she leaned over to hug him lightly - instantly, he stiffened up to her touch.

"I'm so sorry about that, Kado," she swore as she held him a little tighter and closed he eyes. "But I promise I'm never leaving you."

"Y-You can't know that," he answered as he wiggled his way out of her grasp and stood up to walk over to his closet. "Now, I'm going to get changed so go away."

"As your caretaker, aren't I supposed to change you?" she teased.

"I'm old enough to change myself!" he assured her.

"Alright, alright," she responded with a wave of her hand as she stood up, "I'll just be outside the door."

"Fine," he muttered but he didn't do anything until she was out of the room. He shook his head some as he started to get dressed. He wasn't stupid, he wasn't going to believe her just because she said she'd never leave… they all said that and they all left.

* * *

**A/N:**_ So, like the whole time Kagome has been telling the story to Sango, thus it's come full circle and there won't be any more italics foreshadowing. Thanks for the reviews, please continue to give them.  
_


	44. Missed Mysteries

**{**•** D**_amned_**D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**4**_4:_ **M**_issed_**M**_ysteries_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Unlike most children, Kado didn't seem to actually enjoy playing, for the entire week that she was there she tried to figure out what his favorite game was but failed. He'd indulged her for a while each time but in the end she could tell he was bored. That or he had a short temper and threw a tantrum when he was losing - or, when he simply didn't like the game.

Really, on the eighth morning she was at a loss of what to do. She had tried all the games that Masaaki loved to play, all that she used to play with Keiko, but he didn't seem in interest of any of them. What he appeared to like to do was be alone, he constantly told her to go to away. He was used to being alone… it was sad, really.

It was her fault that he was used to it. If things had merely gone differently when he was born and Inuyasha had succeeded and getting them across the well like he had wanted… things would have been better, a million times better surely. Or if she had never made that wish and forsook him to this world for four years all alone.

"Kado," Kagome dragged out as she began to stroke his short silver strands. For the first few days he hated that, he didn't want her to touch him, but now he seemed to deal with it. Not enjoy it, just dealt with it because it appeared that he couldn't get her to stop no matter how much he protested. "What do you like to do for fun?"

"I don't have fun," he simply answered as he picked up one of the puzzles that she had bought for him and started to move the pieces around to try and get them to align properly. "I go to my lessons like Watanabe wants, I do my prayers three times a day, I eat, I sleep, and I repeat it all again."

"For a six year old you are very grown up. That's really sad, you should be able to have a childhood," she authentically believed what she said. It was a true tragedy, one she felt responsible for because she was the one that forsook him for so long. If he had been with them all along then he would be a far happier child, just like Keiko. She'd like to think that he would have been a mama's boy to counteract her daughter being daddy's girl.

More than anything, she wanted to make up for lost time so she wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin upon his head. Again, he tensed up due to her touch but after a while he gave up and went back to working on his puzzle. Out of all the things, puzzles seemed to be his favorite. She figured it had to do with the fact that he could do them on his own.

"Why are you so touchy, woman?"

"_Yuuka_," she hummed sweetly, "not woman."

"Why are you so touchy," he rephrased, omitting woman in order to not offend her. "The other caretakers weren't this touchy."

"Does it bother you?"

"A little," he answered.

A little wasn't a lot, so she jus held him regardless. It felt so good to finally be able to have him in her arms. For so long that was what she regretted most… not holding him when he was first born.

"I'm really glad to be here with you."

"Why?" he muttered with a raised brow, "because I'm the _one_?"

"Because you are Kado," her son, her first born, the one she had been missing for so long that it still hurt to just think about it. He just shook his head some at the answer and continued on his work.

"That's a stupid reason," he murmured with a small shake of his head. "You are a weird woman."

"You keep saying that…" and maybe she was, it probably seemed odd the way she doted over him but someday he'd understand. She hoped it was someday soon. But if she told him right now that she was his biological mother he wouldn't have believed her yet.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Tanaka-san," Watanabe greeted her, as he so often did, when she dropped Kado off for his lessons. It was general school related things, she supposed, like the history about their world. It didn't seem like his goal was to brainwash Kado in some way, it wasn't necessary really. Kado trusted Watanabe, he believed anything and everything he told him.

As always, while Kado was inside preparing for whatever Watanabe was about to teach him, he tried her utmost to chat her up.

"Are you adjusting well to castle life? It must be very different than Osaka, not near the ocean like you are used to."

"That's true," she answered with the good southern draw that was expected of her. It had become second nature for her to use it, a necessity really. "But the castle has a certain charm to it."

"I can show you the most charming chambers within," he said with a smile that made her stomach turn. It was disgusting how shameless he was about expressing his interest. And after all his high talk to start out with about how Kado's caretaker couldn't be with a man, couldn't have a child, couldn't get married. She had done all of those things, but it didn't matter.

As always, she replied with something sweet yet non-offensive, something that just made it seem like she was shy over the prospect of courting him instead of totally turned off by the idea. Maybe, as hard as it was to imagine, in the future his infatuation would do her some good.

So she smiled and shook her head lightly before letting her eyes wander over to Kado who seemed oblivious of their conversation. It was then that she smiled to the man and said shyly, "Watanabe-sama… I think I should go clean Kado's room while you are teaching him."

"I will see you in a couple of hours," he replied with a smile before he let her go on her way. Going to clean Kado's room wasn't really on her list of things to do, she was trying to teach him that that was something he should do himself. She was his caretaker, not his maid.

"What's the difference?" he would ask.

Instead she decided to go to the library in the castle that apparently had a list of all the villages that had disappeared over the year. On one of her many trips to the kitchen, while speaking to the head chief, she discovered that. It was frightening to think about but… she had to go and see. Was her village on the list or not?

Once she got to the library the scroll filled with the villages was… much longer than she had thought. It took hours to get through it until the very, very end. It was the last village on the list that made her heart clench painfully tight and her grip lighten so that the scroll could fall and collide with the ground. Her home, the place she grew up, the place that probably still housed her family was… gone.

But… the date beside it didn't make any sense. It happened after she made the wish on the shikon no tama. It shouldn't have happened. Quickly, she went in search of the scroll that coincided with her village to see who was lost along with the village. She prayed long and hard that her brother's name wouldn't be on the list, that Kaede's wouldn't either. That they had been away when it happened.

Still in the long list of names, of lost souls, amongst the names of those she had known all her life, of friends, of mentors, she saw what hurt her most of all…

_Higurashi Souta  
Hayashi Kaede_

They were on the list of the missing, the ones that went away with the village. With that knowledge her world collapsed on itself. Her brother was dead. Her mentor, too, the women she thought of like a grandmother… but it didn't make sense.

It shouldn't have happened. She made the wish on the shikon _before_ the village disappeared. It happened three years ago. It really didn't make sense since there was a gap between the village before it - one that disappeared just over four years ago - and then her home village. It was also the last.

How did that make sense

"It can't be," she whispered to herself as she rested her back against the wall and slid down. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be real… but it was.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"What is wrong with you?" Greeted her as she entered a rather dark room, which was surprising. She had thought that Kado would already be asleep once she finally found the strength to gather herself and leave the library. What she wanted as to be held, but her husband was nowhere nearby and while Keiko would have been good she too wasn't in this world.

Kado was her last resort, she had hoped he would have been asleep, but apparently he wasn't. She had to think about his question. In that moment there was a lot of things wrong with her, she hardly knew where to start.

"You were supposed to pick me up from my lesson for my lunch break and then take me to the garden after the lesson was completed. You failed to do all of that, you are lucky I covered up for you or else Watanabe would have been very mad with you. You are the worst caretaker that I have ever had, at least the others were good at keeping my schedule. Where have you been all day?"

She would have been amused with the way he lectured her, as if he was the adult and she was the child but… she couldn't find anything really funny in that moment so she just sat down on the edge of the bed and sniffled back the tears that had been trickling away all day. "Sorry, Kado."

"You've… been crying?" Kado guessed, softly as he scooted closer to her on the big bed. "There is no point in lying about it. I can smell the tears. I have a very good nose."

Just like his father… she frowned some at that, too. Being away from Inuyasha for so long hurt and not being able to kiss Keiko goodnight…? That, too, caused an ache. She had been away from her brother for years, she missed him every day, but there was always a fragment of hope that she would have found a way back to Souta.

Now that hope was squashed. He was… dead and she had been away while it happened. She didn't do a damn thing to help him. Souta, her baby brother was gone.

"Are you going to say something?" Kado questioned, "Yuuka?"

"I'm fine," she whispered back.

"Would it," he slowly started, "make you feel better if you slept in here?"

"It's backwards," she said with a faint smile, "I should be the one comforting you, not you comforting me."

"You are a very weird woman," Kado accused, "but if you'd like I would let you stay."

"That would make me feel better, thank you," she answered finally as she lifted the covers and crawled into bed beside the boy that lied down as well. "Would you like to hear a fairytale to help you go back to sleep?"

"I don't like fairytales," he replied simply then added, "because they aren't real and foster false hope."

"That's truly tragic, when I was a child I believed in them. I loved them."

"How did that work out for you?" he scoffed.

"Not so well at first but then… I found happiness," at least something akin to it. The closest thing she could have had. She had Inuyasha, she had Keiko, but now she just had Kado and a fake life. It was temporary, that's what she kept telling herself at least. Someday soon she'd make it back to the other world - the only world that held anything for her anymore.

"You should rest," he suggested, "you sound tired."

She was very tired but… she still said, mumbled and without the fake Osaka accent she had been forcing herself to use for over a week, "you are a very loved boy, whether you believe it or not."

"Keh," he grumbled, which earned a smile though he couldn't see it in the dark. "People only love me because they think I can save them…"

"That's not why I love you," she murmured back as she fell asleep and wrapped her arms around Kado.

He waited a while longer to see if there was anything else she wanted to say but her steady breath seemed to say that she had fallen asleep. It was so strange… when she didn't have her accent her voice seemed so familiar. Something about her seemed so familiar while he shut his eyes and nuzzled up closer to her.

The scent… her scent, it was what was most familiar. He didn't know why… but he felt safe around her. He liked it but he had to keep himself in check. She was just his caretaker and just like the rest she would eventually leave him. He wasn't about to become too attached.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Hope you are continue to enjoy the story. I should be able to update within a couple of days but I have a trip planned for the weekend so I'm not so sure if that's true. Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the USA by the way._

_Please continue to review.  
_


	45. Restless Wondering

**{**•** D**_amned _**D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter_ **4**_5:_ **R**_estless _**W**_ondering_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Nearly two months had passed by, exactly fifty-six days had slowly gone by since Inuyasha last saw his wife and it didn't make sense. Where would she have gone? Kagome… she wouldn't just run off, obviously, that wasn't even a possibility. She loved Keiko too much and she wouldn't just up and leave him, either. She would have mentioned something. There would have been some sort of sign if that was what she really had wanted.

Fifty-six days ago he was out in the village getting their firewood, whatever food Kagome had needed for the week, and running general errands. When he got back Kagome and Keiko were both gone so he didn't think much of it - really, it was normal. Then it started to rain outside which just made him feel restless. He hated to be cooped up in his home particularly when he was alone so he went over to visit with Miroku.

Finding Keiko there wasn't weird, she loved to play with the twins and Masaaki but if Keiko was there then Kagome should have been, too.

"Kagome said she wanted to check on something a while ago," Sango explained, something seemed to occur to her in that moment as she looked out the window as the sky finally cleared. The sun would soon be setting which meant… "That was a long while ago now, actually."

That sparked worry within him instantly so he went in search of her but the rain had washed away her scent. He couldn't find it anywhere… he searched for weeks for her before he returned home to find a highly upset daughter. One that didn't want to stay with aunt Sango or uncle Miroku anymore.

He didn't know what to do, why couldn't he find her? _Where_ did she go? Thousands of terrible scenarios ran through his head. Maybe something got her… maybe she was dead or in danger somewhere. Maybe… someone else caught her interest and she ran off with another. The latter seemed like the most unlikely out of all of them but he hoped that was the right one. At least then she'd be fine and out of danger.

It was true what people said about him, he could be dense and dumb sometimes but he would have noticed if Kagome was having an affair. Granted he was gone a lot but… but she wouldn't. Kagome was faithful to him, she wouldn't stray regardless of the strain on their marriage. But that strain only existed during two times a year - near the time she made the wish and around their son's birthday. Otherwise he thought they were generally fine.

"You _know_ she felt differently," Miroku countered on one of their many conversations. "You know she thought you were always secretly mad at her."

"Kagome puts too much blame on herself, she's _always_ too hard on herself," Inuyasha argued back ever so quickly. "I love her, I've always loved her, I always _will_ love her regardless of what she did or will do. She knows that… I can't do this without her. I need her here. Keiko needs her… where the hell is she?"

"I can't imagine what you are going through," Miroku said sympathetically. Really, he had no idea what he would do if Sango was missing - for all that time, too? He wasn't be able to function as well as his hanyou comrade seemed to managed. He had expected Inuyasha to run around at all times in search of Kagome but he knew better. He had searched for two solid weeks and couldn't find a trace of her so he came to home to his daughter. Keiko needed him.

"But… have you considered the possibility that she somehow crossed through the well? Masaaki and Keiko had been playing by it earlier that day."

"I have considered it but she made the wish on the shikon. The two worlds have been separated for over four years now. Why would it open up all of a sudden?" He would like that to be what happened, that she was on the other side with their son, but at the same time he was well aware the danger there.

He still checked the well constantly and it never let him through so… it probably wasn't that. Without her life was so much more difficult. Keiko was a handful, Kagome had always knew how to handle her and now… he had to figure out how to raise her himself. It was temporary, he kept telling himself that at least, certainly Kagome would come home.

She had to come home…

"I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't come back," he finally said softly.

"Do you really believe the rumors?" Miroku inquired with a bent brow. "That she ran off to some lover?"

What seemed to surprise the villagers the most about the situation was _how_ long it took for Kagome to finally realize she was too good for the hanyou and leave. That and she left her daughter with Inuyasha instead of taking her away with her. Probably off to her rich human lover, she deserved someone like that. She was the sweetest girl in town, the one that helped almost everyone one way or another throughout the years. Usually, she'd provide her herbal remedies free of charge.

People adored her and that was what people were saying such things. It was better to think that she ran off to be happy instead that something horrific happened to her. If something bad could happen to someone so good, someone so selfless, then everyone else could easily be doomed, too. It was too scary for most to think about.

"I would have known if she was having an affair," he asserted back, albeit weakly. If she _was_ going to have an affair it had to be with someone in the village since she barely ever left. Sometimes she'd occupancy Kaede to another village but not often enough that there could be someone else.

Besides, Kagome just wouldn't… she wouldn't. They had been through too much with each other that it wasn't possible that she be able to find someone else she connected with better than him. They were in love. They were married and they were raising a daughter together. It wasn't possible that she'd give all that up for someone else.

Which only left one reasonable possibility… something had happened to her. Something had happened to _his_ wife and he hadn't been able to stop it - he didn't even know about it. That killed him, it made him sick, it made it impossible to sleep at night.

Well, that and Keiko's constant crying. She hated not having her mother there to tuck her in. He really, really couldn't do this without her. She had to come home… she just had to.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"Why are you so sad all the time?" It was such a straight question, mixed with the way he stared directly at her, and just the general tone that gave her pause. Kado was a clever boy, she had hardly been hiding her emotions well. She didn't know why but lately it had been bothering her more and more that she was away from Inuyasha and Keiko.

So many nights she felt teas slipping down her cheeks, sometimes even when she was with Kado who would always ask why. "Because you miss your husband?" he guessed and she would just say yes that was it. She did miss him, dearly. Even with all the problems they were having she never wanted to be away from him.

"I'm not sad all the time," Kagome countered with a smile as she patted Kado on the head then motioned for him to continue to follow her through the garden. Reluctantly he did with narrowed eyes.

"You are," he countered quickly. "You are a very emotional woman."

She was about to counter it but paused instead. It was true, lately she was quite emotional and on top of that she.. she hadn't been feeling well. Moreover, she hadn't had her period since she arrived and her stomach was queasy. She merely assumed the latter part was her body's reaction from being so close to Watanabe and the general stress of the whole situation on top of being separated from her family and learning that Souta and Kaede were dead…

But… but her and Inuyasha _had_ been trying to have another child before she arrived back in her world. What if… what if it worked? What if she _was_ pregnant? Oh, gods, that hardly was the right time.

"Yuuka?" Kado dragged out as he reached out to take one of her hands, that snapped her out of it enough to get her to smile to him again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, Kado, you worry too much," she assured him before squeezing his hand and continuing on their walk. Afterwards, he had to continue his lessons with Watanabe and she could go to one of the castle doctor's to test out her theory of whether she pregnant.

Oh, it would be simply terrible timing if she was. She wasn't even sure if she could get home yet and the last thing she wanted to do was attempt to have a child in her home world. The last time she did that it turned out horribly wrong.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Watanabe once again asked her out for a meal, again it was dinner, but it was outside where he had set up a table and had a cook bring them lunch. Really, the very, very, very last thing she wanted was to pretend to be interested in him once more… especially when she might be with child again - with her _husband's_ child. Inuyasha would hardly like it.

Inuyasha… did he figure out that her scent ended at the well and she might have gone through it? She hoped so, she also prayed he wasn't worrying too much. Such thoughts kept her from strictly paying attention to what Watanabe was going on about… by the time she tuned back in he was talking about his great honor as being the member of the council of Seimei that got to watch over and teach Kado.

"Everyone says that Kado came to be through our prayers, an answer to the horrible things that had been happening," Kagome brought up. "That's… true?"

"You sound skeptical," he replied with a smile as he leaned back in his seat. "That's understandable, many people are, it does sound a bit crazy that a child would just appear like that."

"So… it's not true?" she inquired with a small tilt of her head.

"Of course it is true. Many at first tried to discredit Kado, of course, they attempted to trace things back to his birth parents and all but… they found nothing but dead-ends." He answered with a shrug of her hand before he got up to walk over to her and place a hand on the back of her chair before leaning in. "Don't you trust me, Yuuka-san? I can call you Yuuka now, can't I?"

"Of course, Watanabe-sama," she said with another forced smile. She had been required to do a lot of that lately. What was coming next she didn't want, she could tell he was leaning in for a kiss and really what she desired was to turn her cheek to him.

_Why_ was she of such interest to him? It was hardly like she thought herself pretty when she was wearing her phony glasses, with her short hair, and an Osaka accent. Apparently that was his type.

"What's going on?" stopped him right before their lips could meet. Both turned around to see Kado there, an annoyed look on his face as he looked over the scene.

"You should be at your session with the high priest," Watanabe declared as he stood up straight and walked over to the young boy.

"I just got done," he explained before his golden gaze shifted back to Kagome, "you weren't there to pick me up so I left on my own."

"Oh… I am sorry about that, Kado," Kagome authentically answered as he stood up and walked up behind him to place her hands on his shoulders and look Watanabe in the eyes. "I should be getting him back to his room and ready for bed."

"Yes, of course, I will see you later, Yuuka-san," he countered with a nod of his head before he let them go. It wasn't until they were in a rather private corridor that Kado yanked himself away from her to go around and stand on the other side. With folded arms he glared out the window as if he hoped to set something on fire within it.

"Kado, what's wrong?" she inquired but once she took a step towards him he just turned his glare to her instead.

"You can't be with Watanabe! If you get married then you'll have to leave me and you _promised_ you'd never do that!" He snapped.

"Oh, Kado… it's not like that at all," she assured but when she tried to get closer to him he just stood up and walked to the other side of the room. "Kado."

"No! That's not fair! I'm not listening to you anymore!"

"Kado, I understand why you are so upset," she slowly stared as she once again attempted to walk over to him, this time she got down on her kneels in front of him which made him pause instead of running to the other side of the room. Before he could figure out what she was doing, he found himself in her arms. In a tight hug. "I promise I'll never leave you. I swear. I don't want to be with Watanabe. I couldn't. The only man I'd ever marry is Inuyasha and I still love him dearly. There's no way I could ever be with another. I promise."

"Then why were you with Watanabe today?" he muttered bitterly.

"It's complicated-"

"Adults always say it's complicated!" he shouted as he tried to push away but she wouldn't let him.

"I give you my word, Kado, that someday soon I will explain everything to you. I promise," she said so firmly that he settled down. When she pulled away to look him in the eyes even he didn't run off like she half expected him to. Slowly she brought her hands up to cup his face as she smiled. "I love you most in this world, Kado, I promise."

"Why…?" he mumbled.

"Because you are so precious to me," she simply stated before leaning forward and kissing him upon his head.

"What's… Inuyasha like?" Kado couldn't help but ask, he was ever so curious as to why the man was so great that he had his caretaker so deeply ensnared.

"Inuyasha… stubborn, short-tempered, but caring and very protective." She couldn't help but smile even more of the thought of that. Regardless of what happened, all those things remained true. Even if he was upset with her about the wish she made they still had their tender moments, he still wouldn't let any harm come to her, and he remained stubborn as an ox and short-tempered.

Except… when it came to Keiko. He was never short-tempered with her, even when it might have been appropriate to be. With that she stood up and patted him on the shoulder before saying, "we should be getting you back to bed now."

"Tanaka-san," caught her attention before they could leave so she turned to look at who it was. "Can I have a moment?"

"Of course," she answered with a nod before raising one figure to tell Kado to wait so she could step aside and talk to the castle doctor. Hopefully, he had a result from the test she had taken the other day.

"It's negative, I got the results back," he began, which she deeply appreciated how he started the sentence with the answer she sought instead of dragging it out. "I would think that all your symptoms are most likely due to the stress of moving all the way from Osaka to the castle, the importance of your job, the new climate and probably even the difference in food. I'm sure with time they will relieve itself. If it doesn't, please come back and see me."

"Alright, thank you," she sincerely said with a nod before she returned to Kado to walk him back to his room. Somehow she wasn't surprised that they didn't even get five questions before he asked what all that was about.

"He is the doctor, are you sick, Yuuka?"

"No, no, just talking about a check-up I had," she assured him with a small pat on his back. "You worry too much about me, Kado."

"You are a weird woman, someone needs to worry about you."

To that she just smiled, he was so protective of just like her husband. She just knew once they met they'd get along splendidly. Obviously they _would_ meet. Because… it just had to happen.

She was going to be able to get their home, she had to…

* * *

**A/N:**_ Thank you so much for all the reviews! I really appreciate them and to express that here is a new update.  
_


	46. Bad Reaction

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**4**_6:_ **B**_ad _**R**_eaction_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

It really didn't make any sense to her. There were plenty of people in the castle when she was there the last time around. Many had to know what she was there for, why she was pregnant priestess at that time. So how could everyone really think that Kado just appeared out of nowhere? There had to be people that knew Kado was actually Higurashi Kagome's son.

There had to be… and the only person she knew for sure would, was Sango so she went to her friend as soon as she found free time which was hard to do since Kado seemed especially clingy since he caught Watanabe almost kissing her. She assumed it was out of a fear that she was lying and sneaking around, which might mean she'd eventually leave him like she promised she never would.

It was… sweet how Kado seemed to cling to her all of a sudden as if he accepted that he liked her and wanted to keep her. He asked her every night to stay with him instead of returning to her room, he cuddled up to her, he took her hand when they were walking together and he tried his hardest to always keep a conversation going between the two.

That very morning, while she was trying to get him out of bed, he looked up to her with his big gold eyes - the ones so alike to his father - and said something that warmed her heart in a way that it hadn't in ages.

"Yuuka…" he wearily started.

"Yes, Kado?" she had replied.

"Yuuka… I love you," he had told her, "so don't leave me."

"Never, Kado, I'll never leave you," she promised as she did a thousand times before to him. "I love you, too."

But he had to go to his lessons all the same so she found the time to go visit with Sango. When the door opened, though, it wasn't Sango that answered but a violet eyed man. Confusion seemed to play lightly on his face as he said, "yes?"

"Hello, Miroku-sama," she greeted.

"Hello…? Do I know you?"

"Oh, yes, sorry, I am… Tanaka Yuuka," she said with a small bow of her head, "I am a friend of your wife. Is she here?"

"Yes, come on in," Miroku requested as he stepped aside to allow her to come in before he wandered off to find his wife. As soon as he returned with Sango by his side, his wife's expression lit up at the sight of her friend.

"Miroku, this is my friend," Sango started as she walked over to Kagome.

"Then, I'll leave you two alone then," he said with a bow of his head as he turned around to leave.

"Sango-chan, I have a question," Kagome began, "how is it that everyone thinks that Kado just appeared…? You know he is my son, don't others know where he came from? What about everyone in the castle while I was there?"

"We all took an oath of silence, with one of the council's members, if you make a promise with him then you can't break it so… everyone that knew cannot talk about it."

"That makes more sense," she supposed. "I don't understand why they would rather everyone think Kado just magically appeared."

"It seems amazing, if something so amazing happened then surely Kado can save our world," Sango explained with a small shrug of her shoulder. "If he was born like everyone, then… it doesn't seem amazing. It doesn't seem possible."

"I see," she murmured.

"Can I ask, why are you still here? Why haven't you taken Kado to the well yet?"

"I think… that Kado will believe me now," after all, he loved her. "So I'm going to try and do it soon."

"Good luck, Kagome-chan."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"I can't take this anymore," Inuyasha declared with a definite edge to his tone as he picked up Keiko and placed her in front of his friend, the former mischievous monk - still mischievous but no longer a monk. Miroku couldn't hide the worry in his eyes as he placed his hands on Keiko's shoulders.

"What do you plan to do, Inuyasha?"

"I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I can't just wait around and hope that she comes home. It's driving me insane. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do anything without her here."

"So you are going to go on our aimless quest again?"

"It's not aimless, my _aim_ is to find Kagome," he snapped back.

"Daddy!" Keiko screamed as she wiggled away from Miroku to run over and grab her father's leg. "Don't leave me, daddy! Please don't leave me like mommy did! Then I'd be all alone…"

"Keiko," Inuyasha muttered before he knelt down to kiss Keiko on the head and hug her. "Your mother didn't leave you."

"Yes she did," she gripped bitterly, "that's why she's gone… because she left."

He didn't know what to say to that. Tell her that Kagome might have left and let her resent her mother or tell her that something might be horribly wrong and let her worry her little mind over all that could be wrong? He didn't know… it was a decision that Kagome would have made. She was always good about deciding what was best for Keiko…

Fuck, he really didn't know _how_ he was supposed to raise Keiko without his wife. She was the one that was naturally an amazing parent, he was just wigging it, following her guidance. Besides, Keiko was a girl and a girl needed her mother more than her father, right?

What he wouldn't give to just trade places, so that Kagome could be with their daughter and he could be off being Kami knows what - dead, in danger, whatever… because it had to be those two, didn't it? She wouldn't just wonder off without Keiko. Maybe she would leave him… for someone else, someone better. The gods knew she deserved better than him but she wouldn't have left Keiko… she wouldn't.

"Daddy don't leave me," Keiko ordered as she looked up to her daddy with pleading gold eyes.

"I have… I have to go find your mom," he answered. "Just stay with aunt Sango and uncle Miroku for a short while."

"I don't want to stay with them any longer," she whined as she held him tighter, "I want you and mommy back and us to stay at our house together… I don't wanna be away from you daddy."

And that's when the tears began, the ones that he could never resist whether it was his wife or his daughter. That day he wouldn't be leaving her side. He couldn't leave her when she was balling. He kind of felt like crying himself over everything.

If Kagome didn't come home soon… he didn't know how he could hold what was left of his family together.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Once she told Kado she had no way of knowing if the well would work to allow them to cross over to the other side. She prayed and hoped dearly that it would work but… she didn't know. Her hand slid across the pearl necklace she always wore, somehow she had an idea that it would help her in some way.

Then there was the coin that had a shard of the shikon in it, the one that she pulled out to look at. she had been examining it off and on since she got there. There was an ability to open it up to get out the shard. She felt it was the key, the coin that she found on the bottom of the well.

Before she had a chance to put it away Kado voice surprised her from behind, "hello, Yuuka."

"Kado," she chimed as she closed the coin in her hand and turned around to look at him, "done with your lesson already?"

"Yes, I am," he answered with a nod of his head as he walked all the way up to him and smiled at her. "So, what's for dinner tonight?"

"Oh, I don't know yet," she answered as she knelt down in front of him. "I have to think about it… but there is something more important right now. Something… I've been meaning to tell you."

"Oh?" he muttered with a small frown, he hardly liked the way that started. What if she was going to tell him that she was going to get married…? That she was going to leave him? He hated the thought. It wasn't fair. It wasn't… she promised she'd always stay with him. "Tell me, Yuuka."

"My name… well it isn't Yuuka," she began to explain as delicately as possible. "My real name is Higurashi Kagome not Tanaka Yuuka."

"Kagome?" he questioned with a lifted brow, "why lie about your name?"

"Because when I was last here using that name," she slowly started as she took off the fake glasses that had been giving her a mild headache because of the slight blur. "When I was last here, when I used the name Higurashi Kagome, I was… with child. Kado, you are my son. You didn't just magically appear as an answer to prayers."

"Wh… why would you say that?" Kado questioned as he took a small step away from him. "I don't understand. I-If this is… true then where have you been?"

"My husband, your father, Inuyasha, he is from the other world, do you know about it?" Somehow, the change in his demeanor seemed to tell her that he did. "After you were born, that very day, we were forced to the other side and we haven't been able to get back until now. I've wanted to get back so badly, Kado, I've missed you _so much_. I want to take you home - to the other side."

"You are a liar." Kado stated stiffly as he took a quick step away from her. "You are a traitor, you are trying to ruin me like Watanabe has always warned me."

"No, Kado, no, that's not true. Not a single days gone by where I haven't thought of you," she asserted as she tried to reach out to touch him but he stepped away again. "You are a bright boy, if you think about it, then you'll know in your heart I'm telling you the truth."

"You are a liar," Kado repeated all the same. "I… I liked you, Yuuka… or Kagome, whatever. I am going to give you a chance to run away before I call for the guards and tell them everything you just said."

"You aren't serious," Kagome asserted back, he couldn't be. He had to know… he just had to, somehow, believe her. They _had_ to get to the other side. They just did. She wasn't going to go home without him or else she'd hate herself for all of eternity.

"Guards!" Kado shouted, "guards! Guards!"

The shock of him actually doing it caused her to jump some, enough to drop the coin in her hand as she stood up in awe. She could hear the footsteps of the guards rushing to Kado's. But… she also wasn't willing to get caught either so she turned on her heels and started to run off. She didn't know where she was going to go but she couldn't stay there where the guards would just grab her.

It wasn't until she turned the corner that Kado turned his attention to the coin that was still rolling on the ground. With a lifted brow he walked over to it to pick it up and look over it.

"Kado," one of the guards began, "Kado, what's wrong?"

He didn't even hear the guard, though, he was far too entranced with the coin.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Thank you so much for all the reviews! I really appreciate them, hence another quick update. A quick but short update, though, hope you don't mind._

_Please continue to review.  
_


	47. Bad Idea but Only Way

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**4**_7_: **B**_ad _**I**_dea _**B**_ut_ **O**_nly _**W**_ay_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

She was at a loss of what to do, if Kado told the guards what she had told him then what was there to do? If she tried to go to the well and succeeded at getting home then she wasn't sure if she could ever get back to see Kado. If she failed this time… there might not be a _next_. But what was she to do? Try and grab Kado then force him to come with her? Against his will…?

That hardly seemed like the motherly thing to do. All those thoughts were cast aside when she turned the corner and almost ran smack into Watanabe. Instantly her stomach clenched in fear. If the guards knew then Watanabe knew which meant… well, she was rather doomed.

"Yuuka," Watanabe greeted warmly as he grabbed her arms and placed her against the wall in front of him. The warm welcome wasn't what she expected but she hardly appreciated the way he pushed her against the wall, either. She had a bad feeling about the way this was going to turn out, a very bad one. "Where is Kado?"

"In his room," she supposed was the best answer. It was always safe to leave Kado alone in his room… but why was Watanabe asking her? Why wasn't he accusing her of being Kagome, why not arrest her or whatever it was that he would have done?

"Where are your glasses?" He inquired curiously.

"I must have left them somewhere, they are really a weak prescription so I didn't need them to walk around. I was actually going to go look for them so if you'd excuse me," she explained as she tried to step away but he just held her tighter and kept her in one spot. She bent her brows together and looked at him peculiarly. "Watanabe-sama?"

"I think we are past the whole game of dinners and small talk, don't you?" he asked rhetorically. He then took a step closer to her so his body was pressing him against the wall.

"Please let me go, Watanabe-sama," she requested harshly but her second attempt to struggle free only earned a tighter grip on her arm.

"Yuuka, how about this instead? My room is not that far from here so why don't we go there, where it is more private?" he suggested with his annoyed, smirk like smile. He leaned forward to press his lips to hers then, much against her will but she wasn't stronger than him and couldn't push him away.

This certainly wasn't going to happen… right? _Where_ was Inuyasha when she needed him? He couldn't let this happen, right? It wasn't going to happen… but Watanabe pried her lips apart to insert his tongue into her mouth. What she was about to do, she was going to bite his tongue but a burst of energy knocked Watanabe away from her and into the wall's corner which knocked him out.

She took a hurried breath in as she grabbed her yukata right above her heart and looked over to where the blast seemed to come from. There stood Kado, an annoyed look on his face. "Kado… was that you?"

"I can do stuff like that sometimes," he answered as his annoyed amber eyes shifted over to the knocked out Watanabe. "I didn't tell the guards anything…"

That explained why Watanabe didn't mention anything so she walked over to him but then she paused and walked back over to the council member to take off the shikon shard from around his neck then return to her son. "Why come around, Kado? Why did you change your mind?"

"Where did you get this?" Kado questioned as he held up the coin she had dropped.

"I found it at the bottom of the well in the courtyard when I came here. The well is the portal between this world and the other," she explained as she took one of Kado's hands and started to lead him away from the council member. It was probably not the best idea to stay near him, once he woke up he would be very mad.

"The well?" Kado dragged out curiously, "the day before we met I decided to try and use the well to make a wish. I thought it was a wishing well or something… I threw the coin in and wished that I had at least one parent like everyone else then you showed up. If you had the coin and you came from the well then… then maybe you really are my mom."

"I am," Kagome assured him firmly as she cupped his face lightly. "I really am. You are a really powerful little boy. Half from this world, half from the other, you are purely unique in that fashion. Maybe you can open a rift if you need to… Now, we really need to figure out how to get through the well again so we can go home."

"O… Okay, but how?" Kado questioned as his gaze shifted down the hallway.

"Let's go try the well and see if it works," she suggested as she took the coin from him, opened it up, took out the shikon shard from it then allowed it to fuse with the shard that she took from Watanabe. She knew that there were still pieces missing, each member of the council had one. That meant that Yashita Hiriku, Yamamoto Sachiko, Shimizu Saito and Inoue Genji all had a piece but she didn't think it mattered much.

With two pieces they'd be able to get back home… right? Yet, when they found their way to the well and she bent down to let Kado climb onto her back and wrap his arms around her neck so that she could make her way down to the well… it didn't work. She put her feet on the ground and it didn't take them anywhere.

"Is it suppose to do something?" Kado questioned. "Do we have to say or do something to make it work?"

"I don't know why but it doesn't seem to be working. If it's going to work it just does right away," she muttered. Why couldn't things be simple for once? Why couldn't it just open up and let them go to the other side of the well? Back home to where her husband and daughter were surely waiting for her… it was driving her a bit insane.

"Do you think the shikon shards help? Is that way you took Watanabe's?"

"I think, maybe, I'm not sure though," she answered as she grabbed the vines around the well to start her ascent back up. When she was over the rim she bent down so that Kado could get back on his feet.

"Maybe we should get the rest of them," Kado suggested, "if you think it will help."

"I think that it would be very difficult to do that. They are all generally very powerful," Kagome mumbled. It would be too hard. If they even got one more then surely someone would figure out what they were doing and they'd just get caught but then again… if they don't do it maybe they'd never get home.

And the gods knew how much she missed her daughter and husband.

"I guess it's the only idea we have, though, isn't it?" Kagome questioned with a small frown, "do you have any thoughts on how we can go about getting them away from some of the most powerful people in the world?"

"The shikon changes colors when you touch it," he pointed out. Before it was a pink-purple, but once she touched it the jewel turned into a pure pink.

"I can purify it, but I don't see how that is helpful right now."

Kado supposed she had a point so he said instead, "I can get a council with any of the members whenever I want. They all like me. But I know where Sachiko is right now, we could go to her first. She's always in the garden on Thursday evenings."

She hardly thought it was going to be easy but… it was really the only idea they had so she took one of Kado's hands again and walked around the castle until they found the garden. When they got there it wasn't hard to find Yamamoto Sachiko sitting amongst the cherry blossom trees. Probably meditating if she had to guess.

"Go up and start to talk to her, keep her distracted," Kagome requested as she pushed Kado over there, "I'll be right back."

"Promise?" he inquired while he looked up to her with pleading eyes.

She nodded and said, "of course, Kado, I'll be _right_ back."

So Kado did as she was asked of him while she went over to another part of the garden and plucked a couple of herbs she recognized well before quickly going to the kitchen to start a pot of tea with half the herbs she had picked. If she gave Sachiko a cup and she drank at least half of it then she would pass out cold for at least an hour. Sometimes, it was such blessing to know herbs as well as she did.

When she got back to the garden she saw Kado was still chatting Sachiko but another council member had shown up but she wasn't so sure which one it was. She poured two cups of tea then and offered it to both of them.

"Yuuka's tea is the best," Kado stated.

"Tanaka Yuuka," the man said with a nod of her head as he nodded his head to her. While he was talking to her, Sachiko did take a cup of tea thankfully and started to drink it calmly. "I am Shimizu Saito and this is Yamamoto Sachiko, it's a pleasure to meet the one who is tending so well to Kado."

"It is such an honor to meet you as well," Kagome assured him after he had taken a cup to start to drink. Impatiently, she waited for them to drink more and more as she tried to pretend to keep Kado entertained. Two thuds caught their attention as both the council members fell over. Kagome didn't waist anytime, she quickly ran over to pull off the shikon shards from them and fuse it with the two pieces she already had.

"Inoue Genji is probably in the library, he is always reading and he really likes tea, all types," Kado explained as he took her hand but instead of heading straight to the library. Instead she took him to the kitchen to make another set of tea with the last of the herb she had. When they found their way to the library Genji was really there.

"Kado, greetings," Genji declared as he looked up from the scroll he was reading.

"Genji, this is my caretaker, Tanaka Yuuka." Kado introduced him as she motioned to her.

"It is an honor to meet you, Inoue-sama," Kagome replied with a small nod of her head. "Kado mentioned to me that you enjoy tea. He wanted me to get a book out of the library to read to him and said you would probably be here so… I made you a cup. Would you like it?"

"Yuuka's tea is the best," Kado declared as he walked over to the shelves to look over the scrolls and books.

"Yes, I would appreciate that," Genji answered as he took the tea cup she handed him. He took a sip, nodded his head, and looked up to her, "it's a different taste then I am used to, is it an important?"

"It's a traditional tea from Osaka. I hope you enjoy it." Then she walked over to pretend as if she was looking at all the book selections with Kado. It took until they actually picked out one and were walking to the door before they heard Genji's head hitting the table. Quickly she scurried over to pick up the shard before heading out the door.

The jewel was almost complete then but it was missing one part. Yashita Hiriku… the most powerful out of them all. She hardly doubted the tea would be able to knock him out which gave them a problem - a large one, too. Since Watanabe at the very least should have woken up - or was about to.

Once one of them awoke to find out that their shards were missing well.. that would be a problem. A very large one. Maybe just a majority of the jewel was enough to get them through? She hoped so.

"I think we should try it again now," Kagome supposed as she held Kado's hand tight.

"But Hiriku still has a shard," Kado responded after he looked up to her.

"Yes but… he is the most powerful, I don't think we should risk it."

"Risk what?" caused both of them to jump before she turned around to see a rather large and muscular man there - a full blooded youkai, she could tell from his aura. She recognized him as one of the council members and since she knew all their names now then that meant… it was Yashita Hiriku.

"I hear you two have been causing trouble, would you like to explain that?" he questioned as his crimson stare shifted between the two then he took a step closer to the two of them. "Why don't you hand over the shikon shards you have stolen as well?"

"Don't touch her," Kado asserted harshly as he took a step between the two.

"You are an important little boy, Kado, but keeping you unharmed is not a necessity," Hiriku warned.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on him," Kagome demanded as she placed her hands on his shoulders.

"If I had to guess, you must be Higurashi Kagome? I don't see why a Tanaka Yuuka would care about any of this. That and you look an awful lot like her, just with shorter hair. Watanabe is an idiot for not seeing it," Hiriku stated as he took another step closer. "We worked very hard to destroy all evidence of your existence only for you to show up all of a sudden… very strange."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kagome inquired with bent brows.

"That's hardly important right now, I don't need to kill you but I will if you don't hand over the shikon shards," he asserted as he held out his hand. "It would be very easy."

"Like making a whole village disappear?" That had always bothered her how her village disappeared after she made that wish. It just… wasn't possible. "I made a wish on the other shikon to keep the two worlds separated forever but my home village still vanished _after_ it."

"Is that what happened? We were curious as to why things started to get better. Kado is powerful but is hardly probable that he had anything to do with that."

"_What _happened to my brother? To Kaede-sama?" she snapped.

"People were too curious about how Kado became a reality, so we whipped out all traces of you and that inu-hanyou. It wasn't hard when one wasn't from our world but then we had the problem of your family so… I took care of it."

"You are a monster!" She harshly declared.

"I am done talking, you have to give me the shards or else," Hiriku ordered as he took another large step forward to push Kado aside and grab Kagome by the neck. He then snatched the shikon from her hand and began to squeeze so tight that she couldn't breathe - a little more and he would have been sure that he crushed her wind pipe.

"Leave her alone!" Kado demanded before pushing him back but Hiriku only kicked him away.

"Soon enough we'll put Kado in the machine we've been building, his powers teamed with the fact that he is half from this world and half from the other, then with the shikon we'll be able to destroy the other side. That way we will never have to worry about something this horrible happening to our world again. Unfortunately… that means that Kado will die in the process. We were going to wait another few years but… why wait?"

She could feel herself slipping, she couldn't really process the way he taunted her with the knowledge of what would happen to her son once she was gone… she was about to black out before she a shock from his hand to her. It got him to let go and scream as jumped back.

She fell to the ground and took a gasp in and looked over to see Kado must have used his powers once more.

"Mom…" he muttered before he fell forward. She quickly caught him and looked over him, he had a bruise where Hiriku had hit him but otherwise she assumed he was out from exhaustion. So she picked him up and grabbed Hiriku's jewel shard plus the shards he had. The sight of a knife on his belt made her pause, it could come in handy so she picked it up and put it under her obi before she started forward.

Te jewel was whole again so she adjusted Kado in her arms before she started to run towards the courtyard. She could see the well before she heard a pop of sorts then felt a piercing pain in her side, one unlike anything she had ever felt before. She gasped as she stumbled forward to place her hand on the well's rim and try not to drop Kado.

Slowly she turned around to see Watanabe behind her with a gun in hand and a harsh look on his face.

"Hello, Kagome, it's great to see you again," he bitterly declared as he walked towards her to try and grab the shikon and Kado back.

Apparently, it was a very good idea that she had the knife after all since she was able to grab it and stab him directly where the heart would be - if, that was, Watanabe possessed such a thing. She highly doubted it. "That," she started with strain and pain in her voice, "is for my brother, you monster."

Her stance was awkward to start out with on top of holding her son and the shikon in her hands it was just too difficult to stay standing up straight. She fell backwards some before tipping over to fall down the well. If not for the hit on the head she got on the way down she would have realized right away that the blue wonder surrounded them instead of them falling on the ground.

* * *

**A/N**: _Thank you for all the reviews, sorry for the belated update. _


	48. Lingering in Limbo

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed _•**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**4**_8_: **L**_ingering in _**L**_imbo_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Faintly, fog seemed to part ways until the darkness that consumed her faded so she could finally see what was around her. It seemed like she was in-between the two worlds but it wasn't really a blue wonder place since it was mixed with black. She had thought it strange that it didn't feel like she was lying on anything.

That was because she was floating in the abyss, the abyss that seemed ever so endless. No matter how much she turned her head and tried to look around she didn't see her soon. "Kado!" she called out, time and time again but there was no answer. He had been passed out in her arms, when she fell down the well did she not have him?

Did she drop him?

A groan left her lips while her hand moved down to her aching side, she winced at her own touch before she looked down to see her bloody side. That was right she had been shot. Stomach wounds were the slowest, most painful, way to die she had heard.

She really didn't want to die… not in the middle of nowhere without seeing her family. She wanted to find her family. She _needed_ to get home to them.

"Then wish for it," forced her to look around once more to see a woman lingering there. But she didn't seem real, she looked more like a ghost, as if once Kagome reached out to her she would be able to put her hand thru her. "Wish to go home to your family and it will be granted."

"Who… are you?" Kagome managed to ask as she squeezed her side to try and keep the bleeding at bay.

"Midoriko."

It took a while, a long while, for the name to mean anything to Kagome. Her brows bent lightly together as she said, "the princess Midoriko? The one that… created the shikon no tama?"

"Yes, that is me," she answered simply as she cupped her hands to show Kagome the shikon jewel. "Make the wish, and I'll send you home."

While it was a very tempting proposal, she couldn't. She knew better, far better, than to make a wish that was selfish like that. "I can't…"

"Then you may be stuck here forever," Midoriko warned. "You might never see your husband again, never hold your son, never kiss your daughter… you will be stuck here instead."

"I don't want to be stuck," she whispered to herself as she shut her eyes, cringing some at the pulsing pain that stabbed her from the side upward.

"That pain is excruciating, isn't it? So bad… and it is only going to get worse, so much worse. Then you'll die here, all alone, somewhere that no one will ever find you. Your husband will continue to suffer without the knowledge of where you are. Your daughter will continue to cry every night over how much she misses her mother… and you will have broken your promise to your son. You'll leave him alone - _all_ alone."

"All alone," she whispered meekly as she glanced over her shoulders to try and catch a glimpse of anyone else. "Where is he? Where is my son?"

"You could wish for that, too," she proposed, "or just wish for the two of you to be on the other world where you husband and daughter are in perfect health. All would be perfect and fine."

"Except for the terrible twist the shikon would add," Kagome countered quickly. "I-I won't be tricked into make a selfish wish."

"I am not trying to trick you, merely help you," Midoriko assured her softly. "I am trying to help you get out of here. To see your family again… your husband, your daughter, your son. Without you, your son will never meet his sister or father."

"I… I can't."

"Then you'll be stuck here, dying, all alone," was the last thing she heard before the princess disappeared. Leaving her just like that. In the middle of nowhere, all by herself, slowly, painfully, bleeding out…

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

There was no temperature in the world in-between but she felt herself growing colder and colder… to the point of freezing death. Everything seemed to be fading away into nothing. She was going to die there - all alone, without her family, without Kado, without Keiko, without Inuyasha.

She could feel the tears slip down her cheeks at the thought. For over two months she had been separated from the man she loved, from the daughter she doted over, and now she didn't know how long she had been lingering there in limbo. It felt like ages but she knew it couldn't be longer than one day. She'd be dead by then…

"Midoriko," she softly called out for, "Midoriko…? I want to make that wish."

"Yes?" she replied as she appeared in front of her. "What wish would you like to make?"

"I wish…" she slowly started as her gaze shifted over the nothingness she was stuck in. "I wish that the shikon no tama would disappear so that the two worlds could forever stay separate. No harm to come to either."

That had been her first wish on the shikon no tama, her wish this time around was that this shikon would just disappear.

"That's your wish?" Midoriko inquired.

"Yes, that's my wish." She watched with falling eyelids as the woman before he began to evaporate away from her with what appeared to be a smile on her face.

All she heard was a silent, sincere as her eyes shut, "thank you."

In an instant everything changed, she felt herself on solid ground, her side no longer ached, and the coldness was slowly fading away. "Hm?" she mumbled while she opened her eyes to see that she was at the bottom of the well. When she looked up she could see a sky that was slowly setting.

"What?" she whispered to herself as she stood up and looked to her side. Her yukata had a hole in it, blood stained it, but when she pressed it nothing actually hurt. It was as if the wound was gone. She wasn't about to linger on that when another thought came to mind - Kado was gone.

Her heart started to race as she turned around again and again, where was he? Did he not make it over? Did he get left on the other side? In the world between? "Kado! Kado, where are you?"

"I'm here!" came from above so she quickly looked up to see him leaning over the rim of the well, "where have you been! I've been waiting for hours!"

"I'm sorry!" She called back as she grabbed one of the vines to start to climb up. Once she was over the rim she knelt down in front of him to wrap her arms around him ever so tightly. "I was so worried about you!"

"Where have you been?" he asked again as he held him back. Her hazels shifted around to verify that the forest was to their left, the ground they were on was green, and thus she was back in the world that held all that mattered to her. All that was left.

"I love you so much, Kado," she assured him as she squeezed him tightly. "We're going to be very happy here."

"Okay… mom," he answered as he held her a little tighter as well.

"I won't leave you alone again, I promise," she stated as she pulled away some to look at him in the eyes and smile. "You want to go meet your family?"

"You mean," he paused some before saying, "my father?"

"And you have a sister, she's four, her name is Keiko," Kagome added, the look she got wasn't a nice one. Somehow she just knew he wouldn't like to hear that but with time she was sure Kado would be happy to have a sibling.

"Kagome!" sparked her to stand up to see her husband rushing up the hill. She stepped to the side of Kado then so when he arrived he could wrap his arms around her quickly to hold her tightly and shut his eyes to take a deep breath in. He had been outside playing with Keiko when he picked up Kagome's scent on the wind… but it wasn't just her scent - it her blood.

"What's wrong, where are you hurt? Where've you been?" He inquired in a rush as he pulled away to look over her - instantly his eyes landed on her side.

"It's alright, it's alright," she quickly countered as she placed her hands on his chest, "I'm fine now. I am. It's nothing, it's dried blood."

"What happened?" he asked again while his golden gaze moved up to meet her gaze

"It's a long, long story," she said before she nodded her head towards the boy standing next to them.

"Who are you?" Kado inquired with a lifted brow and bothered look, when Kagome and him parted Kado took that opportunity to stand between the two. It was rather cute, Kagome thought, how jealous Kado seemed to get. So she knelt down behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"This is Inuyasha, your father," she explained before looking up to her husband. "Inuyasha, this is Kado, our son."

In awe, for a long while, he just stood there staring at the boy before he started to kneel down in front of him. He let his golden gaze shift over him, his smell, his eyes, his hair, everything said that what Kagome had told him with the truth. That it was really Hisashi… well, apparently, Kado. He didn't care if the name was different - all that mattered was in front of him was his flesh and blood. The boy they had been missing for six years.

"You are Inuyasha?" Kado responded with a lifted brow.

"Yeah," was all the hanyou could manage to say.

"Hi," he greeted then as he glanced over his shoulder to his mom. "Are we going to stand out here all day? It's going to be dark soon."

"Of course, we can go," Kagome replied as she leaned forward to kiss him on the head then stood up to hold his hand and hold out her other for Inuyasha. It took him a moment to respond, but then he stood up and quickly interlaced his hand with that of his wife.

"What happened, where have you been all this time?" Inuyasha asked again as his golden gaze shifted passed his wife to see his son the other side. He could guess where she was but it didn't make sense, how did she get through the well?

"It's a long story," Kagome repeated as she shifted from holding his hand to wrapping her arm around him to hold him tight, he replied by doing the same. It felt a thousand times better to have his wife in his arms again. All that time of waiting… wondering about the what ifs that could have befallen on his wife.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"He doesn't seem to like me," Inuyasha whispered to Kagome as they stood in the doorway looking in at the two futons filled with both their children. Keiko was more than happy to see her mother again and happily welcomed a new addition to the family. That way, she had someone to play with when Masaaki and the twins weren't available. Kado seemed less enthusiastic over the notion of having a clingy little sister but he was slowly dealing with it. Up to the point that when they were finally in bed he allowed her to reach out and hold his hand that night.

"It's not that," Kagome assured him while they stepped out so she could close the door then return to their bedroom. "It takes time, it took me two months to get him to like me. It took me much longer than that to get your affection."

He smiled at that some before he wrapped his arms around her to pull her body against his. She didn't protest in the least, she happily laid her head against his chest and shut her eyes. For so long she had wanted just that - to be in her husband's arms.

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too," Inuyasha answered, "I didn't… gods, I didn't know what I would have done if you didn't come back. I was so worried about you - crazy worried about you. I love you, Kagome, so much, you know that, right?"

"Right," she said with a nod against his chest, "and I love you."

"Sango's been telling me all this nonsense that you've said to her," he began as he pulled away some so he could look her in the eyes as he placed a hand on her cheek. "That you think I've been mad at you all these years for that wish. That you think I love you less. Kagome, there's a difference between mad and sad. I was sad about what happened… not mad. At first I was, around that time of the year I can be, but otherwise I love you. I really do. I can't live without you."

"Inuyasha," she whispered as she placed her hand on top of his. "I just thought…"

He shook his head lightly as he leaned forward to press his lips to hers. For two months his world was going painfully slow. He couldn't sleep, he barely wanted to eat, his world wasn't moving without her in it. But that suffering was worth in, because he had her back - safe and sound - with their son. Which finally meant that they could be a whole family again.

Her hands slid up to his neck to keep him tighter against her, their lips meshed, his hands ran up her fresh, summer, yukata to pin her body to his. Just to feel her warmth against him was a relief. Everything would be better now, they just knew it. There was nothing to miss, nothing to be sad about, their son was with them and their daughter was healthy and safe.

She felt the breeze of the summer air against her bare shoulders as her husband parted his yukata to allow him a better view of her. He smiled when she pulled away to give him a cruel look but not an all unacceptable one.

"Maybe tonight isn't the best time for such things, Inuyasha," Kagome declared delicately as she took his hands.

"Why do you think your wound disappeared after you made that wish?" Inuyasha inquired. She had told him what she had happened, not the full, lengthy story that included an overly touchy Watanabe or anything of that. Kado and Keiko had been with them when she was telling the tale so she didn't mention any of that.

"She seemed thankful when I wished the shikon away, maybe it was her way of showing appreciation," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

"I'm just glad she did," he said before he leaned forward to kiss her again. His body pressed against hers as she started to untie all the annoying little strings of his outfit. It always took longer to get his clothes to cast aside when it just took a couple tugs of her obi to get her yukata to fall to the ground. He held her gently as he lowered her to their futon.

Her hands roamed through his hair as his ventured about her body to spark a pulsing sensation below that she only ever knew when it was _his_ touch. His lips wandered from her lips to her chin then down to the neck and then her shoulder blade.

"Inuyasha," she gasped when his hand roamed to her breast, one sculpted and molded her left in his large hand with the other created a circular motion with a teasing thumb upon her nub. Any further protest was muffled bout by his lips as they met hers once more. The feeling he created in her only intesified as he continued his assault, mild moans left her only to be swallowed within his mouth.

The throbbing that tightened and taunted her below, the constant reminder of the terrible _need_, got all the worse when he pressed his hardened region to her damp one. She more than willingly parted her legs so that he could pound into her. He could smell her arousal, it was thick in the air and tormenting his frenzied senses.

"Kagome," he groaned softly so as not to disturb their slumbering children next door.

"Inuyasha," she murmured back with pinked, flustered, cheeks.

Tenderly he began his slow, shallow thrusts into her. He picked up his pace then to thrust deeper into her in order to spark even greater feelings. This time around, he focused on pleasing her more so than himself. He always loved every second of their merger, particularly when she began to move her hips along with him.

He muffled a moan in her mouth, even if his mind was slowly fading away from reality and up to nirvana he knew better than to be too noisy and she did, too. Gasps, pants, and minute moans were all that could be openly expressed as they collided together. His thrusts in over and over again were met with her straddles. She arched her body to meet each assault until the most divine of feelings exploded from below to wash over all of her.

All that mattered that night was that she was home, and their family was whole again.

* * *

**A/N**: _Wow, thank you for all the review for the last chapter. As a thank you gift, here is a new update.  
_


	49. Unhappy Ending

**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**4**_9_: **U**_nhappy _**E**_nding_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

When he woke up he moved his hands away from the futon to feel that it was cold and empty. Instantly he opened his eyes and sat up to verify that there was no one in bed with him. Which brought up a good question, where had his wife gone? So he quickly got up, got dressed, and left the room. For a fleeting moment he worried that the day before was just a dream but as soon as he was out their room he could smell breakfast and see his wife was finishing cooking.

Kagome flashed him a smile when she saw him, he gave one back, before he sat down next to Kado. At first the boy just gave him a sideway glance before he looked to his mother.

"Today, I'm going to take Keiko out so you two are going to have to manage for yourselves until we get home tonight, you think you can do that?" Kagome questioned as she looked over to her two boys. Inuyasha seemed surprised by the declaration, he wouldn't have thought she would leave Kado so soon after arrival - even if it was just for a day. Apparently, Kado had the same thought since his gaze quickly turned to a glare.

After breakfast Inuyasha made a point to pull his wife to the side to ask, "why are you doing this? Why go out on a day trip with Keiko the day after you get home?"

"I've been away from her for months, we need to spend some time together," she replied before she leaned forward to kiss him upon the lips lightly. "Besides, you and Kado need to spend some time alone together."

"I don't think that he'll enjoy that," Inuyasha mumbled back as his golden gaze shifted to the boy in question who was talking to his eager little sister who was asking him everything possible.

"You are his father, he just needs time to adjust, that's all," Kagome assured him as she patted him on the shoulder and kissed him on the cheek before going over to kiss Kado on the head then take Keiko's hand to guide her to leave the house which left the boys all alone in silence.

"So," Inuyasha started, "Kado… what do you like to do?"

He just shrugged his shoulders as he sat down in the living room.

"So you want to lie around the house all day, doing nothing?"

"Sure," Kado replied with another shrug.

"I can't stand doing that," Inuyasha asserted, he really did hate to stay inside all day, especially when there was such a nice summer day to enjoy. "Come on, I'll show you around our village and around our forest."

Kado looked up to his dad curiously before nodding then standing up to let Inuyasha lead him out of the house.

"You don't talk much, huh?" Inuyasha just had to ask, Kado just shrugged his shoulder at that so he knelt down. "Get on my back, I can show you around the forest better that way."

"I can walk myself. I'm not a baby."

"You'll like this better, trust me."

Kado hardly trusted him… he trusted his mother, Kagome, but it was apparent that she trusted her husband so he cautiously walked up to get on his back. What came next was amazing in his opinion, how his dad could just jump and it seemed like they could fly through the air.

For the first time in a long time, Kado found himself laughing. He knew then that he'd like his time there. He'd probably even learn to love his sister and father, just like he loved his mother.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Months shifted by to allow the family to adjust to the new addition, and the new addition to adjust to the other pieces. Gradually, Kado came to like having a little sister, albeit a clingy one that always wanted to play with her _big _brother. Her whole world shifted from playing with her parents and neighbors to hanging out with her big brother.

It only took a week or so for him to become comfortable being around his father, some more time to like having him there and allowed an exchange of 'I love you's. He was still an obvious mama's boy but that made her ever so happy because Keiko was still daddy's little girl. There was finally a balance in their family.

The hard part was figuring out what to tell people... where had she been all that time? Who was Kado? What was going on? Inuyasha had never openly said she was missing to anyone but Miroku, Sango, the Higurashis, and Kaede. Otherwise people just assumed she ran off, so she told them she went to her homeland to help out with some problems. Which was the truth.

There she met Kado and brought him home with them, also the truth, so that he could be a part of their family. Sure there was suspicions that Kado was biologically Inuyasha's, the two looked so alike, but neither of them cared. All that mattered was that they were a whole family again… for then, at least.

"I like having an extended family," Kado decided after he took his mother's hand as they walked away from the Higurashi's household after one of the many dinners they had. Even though, technically, Mrs. Higurashi wasn't related to Kagome she still allowed Keiko and Kado to call her grandma and Souta, uncle.

"I'm glad to hear that," Kagome replied with a smile while she glanced over to Inuyasha who was holding Keiko since she fell asleep after dinner was finished.

"Great grandpa is funny," he added, "his stories are strange but amusing."

"Yes, he does have a lot of stories."

"You're from the other side, like me," Kado began, "so they aren't really related to us, right?"

"But they are the Higurashis from this side, and I'm from the Higurashi family of the other side, so they are pretty much like family," Kagome answered, "they love you like family."

To that he just nodded, it made sense to him, he supposed. As much sense as any of it made. Really… everything was so different, so confusing, but in a good way. Unlike before, he had a family that loved him. He had a mother that doted over him, a sister that clung to him, and a father that he liked well enough. He would do fun stuff, they could run around together and spend a lot of time together.

The world was a lot different than the one he was used to. The world of his and his mother was more advanced, ahead of the world that he was now in but that was fine. He didn't care. What mattered was that… well, _he_ mattered for real reasons here. He was loved by his family.

He _had_ a family, and for that he was grateful. For that he was happy.

"I'm exhausted," Kagome declared, softly, when they got home. Once they were inside she held out her arms to take hold of Keiko to take her to her bed and make sure she was comfortable.

"I'm not tired," Kado decided as he looked up to his father, "are you tired?"

He shook his head before saying, "no, not really."

"Do I have to go to sleep just because Keiko and mom are?"

"I guess not," he replied with a shrug as he turned, "we could stay up together, if you want."

"Ok, but what are we going to do?"

That stumped Inuyasha. He still wasn't sure how to spend time with Kado, what the kid liked, or even how to act like a normal father for him. But he was working on it and he would continue to try his hardest.

"What do you want to do?" Inuyasha inquired back.

"Play a game," he decided, "the board game that mom got Keiko and me last week. I'll teach you how to play, alright?"

"Sounds good," Inuyasha responded with a smile and a nod.

"You're leaving tomorrow, right?" Kado questioned, "because of work with Miroku-sama?"

"Right, I'll be gone for a couple of days. I'll be back in like three days."

"Demon slaying is cool, do you ever have to do it here?"

He shook his head lightly at that, "no, not really. It's a very safe village, demons usually aren't stupid enough to attack here."

"Because they are scared of you?" Kado asked with a smile.

"Not just me," he assured him as he patted his head lightly, "go get the game, Kado."

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

For three days Kagome had to manage working with herbal remedies and tending to her two children. She had thought that it would be more difficult, generally, Keiko was a handful when her father wasn't around. She supposed that was her way of acting out to show her displeasure wither daddy being gone but this time it was different.

It was easier.

Because Kado was there in order to play with Keiko and keep her entertained. That way she had family to spend time with while Kagome and her dad were working. At night Keiko even slept in her room because that meant she could sleep next to her big brother.

It was very sweet how close the two had become in what was really a rather short period of time. Two months, that's all it took for them to start to feel like an actual family for the first time. It was fulfilling to have her family. All the sadness she had to deal with, all the loss, all the misfortune was worth it finally. She had her husband, her daughter, and her son.

Life was perfect, and that scared her a little. It had never been this good which meant that something bad would happen, right? That was why she was worried more so than ever before when Inuyasha was away. What if something happened to him? What if he actually got hurt or worse…?

There had always been anxiety eating away at her when he was working but this time it was twisting and turning and driving her mad. Until… finally he came home. Late one night, when everyone was already in bed. She awoke to the sound of someone entering their house and at first felt mild panic until she realized she knew the aura. It was Inuyasha.

So she smiled as he entered the bedroom. When she felt him crawl under the sheets with her and then wrapped his arms around her she was happy. He was home safely so obviously… she was over thinking things. Her life was just like normal peoples, they had a happy family, they would be fine.

Surely, they would be fine. Wouldn't they? They deserved that. Didn't they?

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

"I like going for walks here," Kado declared as he looked over his shoulder to see his dad following close behind. It was probably one of his favorite things to do. He could only play in the forest when his dad went with him, otherwise it was too _dangerous_. How it was dangerous he had no idea. He had yet to find something actually worth fearing in the forest.

It was also an activity that he only ever did with his father, he liked that about it, too. At first he had been weary of accepting Inuyasha as his actual father but… now he was glad. He had a mom and a dad, just like everyone else. He even had a little sister, who could be very annoying most of the time but loving otherwise.

"I'm glad," Inuyasha replied. "I've always liked it out here, too."

But Keiko never liked playing in the forest, she didn't like to climb over or under the tree roots like Kado did. She preferred to play in open fields were she could find flowers. Kagome had been turned off to the forest for all the incidents that had happened so Kado was really the only one he could take there. Still, he'd never let Kado go there alone.

They could spend hours in there sometimes. The kid always had a lot of energy to burn, just like him, so he was perfectly fine with spending as much time as Kado wanted there.

"Kado, not too deep into the forest," Inuyasha ordered which caught his attention.

"Why?"

"Because, it's dangerous."

"Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous," Kado mocked, "always dangerous. I never found anything dangerous here."

"Kado, come here," Inuyasha demanded as he waved him closer, which got his son to roll his eyes.

"What now?" he grumbled.

"I said come here," Inuyasha repeated firmer. That got Kado to finally stop his trek, turn around, and walk up to his father. Highly bored and slightly annoyed look on his face. "Stay close."

"Why?"

"Do as I say," Inuyasha stated. He could smell a demon nearby, that didn't necessarily mean that something bad was about to happen but this was different. The demon smelled like blood - human blood. Shortly after the smell hit him he could see something ruffling about the leaves of a bush. "Kado, if something bad happens, I need you to get out of here and go back to your mother, got it?"

"What? What are you talking about?" he asked but the answer was shown to him shortly.

A demon did appear, it did seem them, and seemed to think that it was a good idea to attack them, too. It happened, sometimes, in the forest. Demons attacking people for food, for whatever precious items they had on them. Inuyasha took out his sword then to start the clash while he motioned for Kado to make a run for it.

Which he did, he rushed all the way home to tell his mother what was going on. At first she didn't think much of it, of course she was concerned but it was just one demon and Inuyasha had killed so many. He even killed Naraku. There was no way that anyone was as strong as that man. So, obviously, Inuyasha would come home.

She got some herbal remedies ready just in case he was injured. Yet… an hour ticked by and no sign. Then more hours. Then the night came and then… the morning. The morning was when Miroku decided he had to go look for him. Of course Miroku would find him but then he didn't.

He came home at the end of the day with only tattered pieces of Inuyasha's robe, blood stained. She had been worrying but that was when she started to _really_ worry. A bad, bad, _bad_ feeling festered within her as another day went by without her husband's return. Without a trace of him.

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**A/N:**_ There is one more chapter and then this story is over. It's weird. It's almost been two years since I started it and it's almost over... I'm kind of glad. I hate to have unfinished stories. After I'm done with this one I'm going to turn my focus to finishing Toyfriend and Diary of the Damned. Toyfriend should be finished within a month but Diary of the Damned is still in it's early stages._

_ Anyway thank you for all the reviews.  
_


	50. Change & Completion

******_As a favor to me, on this last chapter, if you enjoyed the story, please review and say so. I know a lot of people don't bother to review but I'd appreciate it._**

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**{**•** D**_amned_ **D**_eed_ •**}  
**.•°.**C**_hapter _**5**_0_: **C**_hange & _**C**_ompletion_**.** °•.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Two whole days had gone by, painstakingly slow. Over forty-eight hours without knowing where he was or even if he was alive. It was slowly, surely, killing her. It was exactly what she had been fearing.

Their happy little family wasn't allowed happiness after all. Things had to be ruined for them. She couldn't have a daughter, a son, _and_ a husband. She could, apparently, only have two out of the three.

She literally worried herself sick, so much so that she started to throw up time and time again. Nothing she ate would stay down. Not that she was actually hungry at all. It was hard but she had to try and pretend like everything was alright. Both her children knew that something was very wrong… daddy wasn't coming home.

"Child," caught her attention as she stood up, whipping her lips clean from throwing up for the third time that day. "Ye sick?"

"I think I am just really worried about Inuyasha, it makes my stomach upset," she answered with a weak attempt at a smile. "He's coming home, isn't he… Kaede-sama?"

"Aye, child, of course," she answered with a reassuring nod. "Could ye honestly imagine a demon killing Inuyasha? A random one at that?"

"No… I can't," at least, she didn't want to. Inuyasha was invincible. If Naraku could not kill him then how could some unknown demon?

"Let me examine ye," Kaede requested as she looked over her. "Just to make sure ye are not sick. There is that stomach sickness going around the village currently. If it is that, I know the right herbal remedy for you."

"I guess… alright."

Kagome could examine herself, she had even thought that it might be that, but letting Kaede do it would help distract her for some time. Maybe when she was done then Inuyasha would be home? It was really all she could to try and convince Kado and Keiko that all would be fine. It was nearly impossible to distract the two.

Right now it was all in the hands of the twins and Masaaki. They did a good job at getting Keiko's attention away from anyone else. Kado… he was more difficult. But after the appointment was finished she'd surely go home to try and help.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

Slowly, she found herself walking to the edge of the village. To right where it ended and the forest began… the forest that took away her husband. Only temporarily, she kept telling herself. Only for a short period of time. Inuyasha _had_ to come home.

He just had to… but if he could, wouldn't he have returned by then? That was what the small, annoying, little voice in the back of his head kept saying at least. _If_ Inuyasha was alive _then_ he would be home. He wouldn't be away anymore.

Argo, Inuyasha was dead.

She shook her head to free her mind of such thoughts. She couldn't start thinking like that and she wouldn't. Not until someone proved to her that he was dead. Some tattered robe pieces stained in blood didn't prove a damned thing. It just meant he was injured.

Injured and probably all alone right then…

Shaky breaths were all that kept her tears at bay as she fell to her knees and rested her hands on the ground in front of her. She shut her eyes so tight to try and keep the salty water in instead of allowing them to drip down her cheek. All the same, one broke free and slid down the curve of her cheek to drip off her chin and touch the green blade of grass below.

Kado was already guilt ridden over what had happened, already thinking the worse just like her and it was killing her. No mother wanted to watch her son suffer like that. He blamed himself. It was _him_ that wanted to go on a walk through the forest that day and Inuyasha had agreed to take him. Kagome tried her most to try and tell him that it wasn't his fault. That Inuyasha was coming home but it did no good.

How could she convince her son of that when she couldn't even convince herself?

"Inuyasha," she whispered, painfully as she choked on her breath. "Come home… you have to come back."

She couldn't. She _couldn't_ do any of this alone. She couldn't be a mother alone, she needed him, she needed his help. Now more than ever before.

"I'm pregnant," she whimpered slightly. It wasn't intentional, they had decided to put off having a third child until Kado was well adjusted. But… again they were having another unplanned child. "I can't do this alone, come home," she begged, hoping somehow that he would hear her. That he'd come back. Because she couldn't raise their children alone. She couldn't handle Keiko and Kado by herself while pregnant with their third child. She couldn't…

"Really?" she heard a rather awe-struck, gruff, voice inquire. One that was familiar. Brilliantly familiar. So instantly her eyes opened up, letting what tears she had tried to keep hidden start to trickle down her face so that she could see a blurred figure in front of her.

It took a series of frantic blinks as she stood up to see him there. Her husband. Inuyasha. He was using his sword as an aid to help him walk, his shirt was tattered, and he was bleeding. What drew her attention was the rather harsh bump on his head the most. But all of that was cast aside as she ran up to hug him tightly.

"Oi, Kagome," Inuyasha winced.

Quickly she pulled away and said, "I'm sorry… I hurt you?"

"It's fine," he assured her before his golden gaze glided down her to land on her stomach. "You're pregnant again?"

"I just found out," she mumbled back. "But that's beside the point, where have you been?"

"There was this demon attack, I got knocked out, I came back as soon as I woke up," he answered.

"That was two days ago!" She shouted, was he really unconscious for that long?

"Two days?" he repeated with a bent brow, "it's really been two days? Wow, I didn't think I was out for that long."

"You are an ass," Kagome countered as she slapped his shoulder, "I was so worried about you! Miroku even went to look for you and couldn't find you! I thought… I thought…"

"Kagome," he muttered as he reached out to pull her back into an embrace. He could tell that tears were going to start up again. "I'm alright, I'm here now. I'm going to be alright. We're all going to be alright. I love you, so let's just calm down."

"Alright," she whispered back as she leaned against him.

"So… another ops baby, huh?" he tried to joke, which only earned another small slap. "I'm happy to hear it."

"I don't think Kado is going to take too kindly to it yet," she whispered.

"No," he mumbled back as he rested his cheek against her head and shut her eyes. "But he'll get used to it, I think."

Maybe, but at the moment that wasn't so important. So she asked, "let's get you home, so that we can treat these wounds."

"That's a good idea," he replied before he pulled away some to kiss her upon the head.

...•¤°•.•°¤•...

With a smile she watched from the door of their bedroom as Inuyasha attempted to rest. Attempted being the key word, since as soon as she finished wrapping up his wounds and got him into their futon both Kado and Keiko ran into to attack him. Each equally happy to see him back and alive.

Both questioned him constantly about where he had been, what had happened to him, and why it took him so long. As the day trickled on, they both slowly become more tired. Eventually, they both fell asleep around the father. Kado on his right, Keiko on his left, which meant that _finally_ Inuyasha could lie down and get the sleep that his bruised and battered body needed.

"You were stupid," Kado whispered. That gained his attention instantly as he forced his eyes open to look down at his son.

"Oh?" Inuyasha replied softly.

"Yeah," Kado stated simply before adding, "you shouldn't get in fights like that because… you can't die. Your my dad, you can't die."

"Obviously," Inuyasha rejoined with a small smile, "I won't, ever, Kado. I'll always come home, I promise."

"You better."

It was such a sweet sight that she didn't want to interrupt, she just stood there, watching and waiting until she was certain that Kado was asleep. Then she walked in to sit down at the head of the bed. She didn't have to say anything, Inuyasha lifted his head so she could slid her legs under it so that he could sleep with his head in her lap.

Delicately, she brushed his bangs away from his forehead. It was moments like these that she would cherish forever. Moments were her family was whole and at peace. When everyone was happy.

In a matter of months they would welcome a new addition to their family. The final addition. Another daughter to dote over, another little girl to cling to her big brother who was six years her senior. A big brother that would be just as protective as her daddy. With an older sister that would love to have a little sister, someone to treat as her doll.

Finally, the family would be free from constant drama. No more wondering if they could live happily ever after with each other. No more worries about being apart.

After all the mayhem, mystery, and misery they were allowed the life they had always wanted. Kagome and Inuyasha got to live their lives together, a good life, a long life, with their children. Without the worries that had plagued them for years. Without the agony that they had known for so long.

Without the loneliness that had consumed them for what had felt like an eternity.

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_**A/N**: This is the last chapter of Damned Deed. Thank you for reading through it, thank you to all the readers that stuck with this story from start to finish. I know that it took a long time (almost two years) to finish and there were a lot of random hiatus. _

_Also, for all those who kept saying 'it seems like it's nearing the end' or something to that affect. You would know if you checked my profile. On it I have all my active stories and the exact number of chapters I plan for each of them. Besides, I'm pretty positive I've mentioned that there would only be 50 chapters to Damned Deed. _

_Anyway, now that I'm finished with this chapter I will be focusing on Diary of the Damned and Toyfriend.  
_


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